Vegetarians
Who eat fish? does it not feel pain. is eating fish somehow better than killing animals? Are fish really made out of fruit?
(CheekyMonkey, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 12:39, Reply)

Why
Did they make Tom and Jerry speak, why the hell did they let that happen.
( Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 12:38, Reply)

guys
... all of them-well most of them anyways-have no radar so they have no idea what women/girls are feeling so they make shitty mistakes all the time and then wonder why we brake up with them! women/girls, on the other hand-well most of them anyways-know what other people are feeling most of the time and whenever we make shitty mistakes we get crap from the guys and we feel guilty as hell! guys think they dont understand women/girls, but we're not that hard to figure out! if you had a brain it might help with your understanding tho...
(bite_me38, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 12:32, Reply)

I don't understand
Why do children's programs, the one's with made up creatures and such, address their objects with the species name in front?
Example: "Teletubby Custard".

We don't call our custard "Human Custard" because that is imoral. And why are they eating custard anyway?

Also, why are ceilings so high? I've never met a nine-foot man, and don't intend to, and I'm sure one doesn't exist. It's not as if you can fit more people in the room by making it taller (well, you can, but I mean vertically).

How does the Daily Mail keep on going whilst being so balantly racist and anti-Labour?
(The Disillusioned Starburst, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 11:47, Reply)

I've never understood......
...which eye I should look at when talking to someone with a lazy eye. How do I pick which one is looking at me and which one is looking at the chair in the corner?

...how to do the crossing the road run without looking like a bit of a gayer.

...why, when meeting relatives you haven't seen for years, their first comment is 'My, haven't you grown?' What were they expecting?
(mediocre_super_villain, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 11:23, Reply)

Christians
Three reasons why I don't get Christians.

1: Why don't you just go around doing whatever the fuck you like - kill people, steal stuff, all you have to do is apologise to you imaginary friend and you still get to enjoy eternal happiness.

2: God says that Jews are his only true followers, then he sends Jesus along to say that the Jews have got it all wrong, then he has a tells Mohammed that the Jews and the Christians have got hold of the wrong end of the stick. I can understand Jews for not believing later possible charlatans, but why are Christians not Muslims? The Koran is pretty much the word of God, dictated to Mohammed, the new testament is a bunch of stories, many of which were written down centuries after the fact.

3: Stack overflow. this is the same for all three abrahamic religions. X is the only true religion because God says so, but he also says the same thing about Y and Z.
(Rastus P Watermelon, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:47, Reply)

Spida...
'You're' and 'They're' aren't abbriviations...they're contractions ;-)
( owain2002, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:39, Reply)

Danc music
you need to be spannered on drugs then it all sounds great.

When I gave up drugs, proper music started creeping into my CD collection and I gave most of the dance crap away (it's quite good to listen to whist running or at the gym though so i have a few)

Apostrophies (sp?) '''''''''''

have some out of place ones you fucking pedants

honestly!! get a little red dry wipe marker and correct everyones post if it makes you feel better.

You understand what the post means don't you

'''''''''''' have some more ; o )
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:17, Reply)

Mavryk

"Christian weddings. Not a drop of alcohol and only a finger buffet and muffins for afters!"

I don't know which Christian wedding you went to, but it's not par for the course I assure you.

I'll tell you what I don't get. Its why no one hasn't nuked a city yet. That's what I don't get.
(washing_machine, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:13, Reply)

Shoes.
Right, what exactly is the difference between one pair of shoes and another? You get black shoes that you need to wear for interviews, and trainers that you need to wear for sports, and boots that you wear if you're being gothic or wanting to protect your ankles. Good, I'm with you so far.

So now: what is the difference between a Clark's size 10 men's black and the same thing bought cheaply somewhere else? Yeah, yeah, sole thickness and so on, but assuming they're both equally likely to disintegrate, why would one be preferable to another? I can see some have little stripy bits across the front for some reason, presumably to give extra protection in case you drop a cleaver on your foot, and some have more comfortable interiors, but what does it all mean?

This gets particularly bad with me and trainers. What in fuck's name is the difference between a Nike Air and an Adidas Predator? Labels, yeah, but how can companies claim to be innovating in the shoe market? So it's got air in it? Wow, big fucking innovation, guys. It's springy? It's...it's got bells on? IT'S IN RED?! Why does this cost me an extra £40? Am I actually getting anything by buying it rather than cheaper versions?

And what's the point in those ridiculous gothic Newrock boots? They're huge and uncomfortable and remind me of the cyborgs in Terminator. I don't understand why anyone would want to wear them, they've got ridiculous amounts of unnecessary metal and make you put on three inches and a stone just to look good. That's ridiculous.

And why do the girls I know wear high heels, then moan about them being uncomfortable? If it's not comfortable, don't wear heels. It's very fucking simple. I don't wear heels. Guess why? Not comfortable. The same reason I don't wear, say, cocktail sticks halfway into my neck and back. But with feet it's apparently alright to torture yourself for some fucking stupid reason with pointy things that simply don't fit and heels that make you wobble and fall over and look like a tit.

What shoes do I wear? Purple doctor martens boots. I like the colour and they fit me, and also I just plain find them comfortable. However, I don't find it necessary to have more than two pairs of shoes: one for school because they're compulsory and my boots for the rest of the time. Quite why people buy more than three pairs is a mystery to me.

Perhaps they like feet. This is also something I just plain cannot understand. Feet are on the end of your legs and without them it would be difficult to walk. Why is this a cause for a wank? Not that I'm anti-feet - I think they are a good invention - but still.

The point, and I do have one, is that I don't understand anything that goes on below the ankles (or in the case of those stupid newrocks, below the knees).

I just have to mention one more thing: I know a couple who have matching Newrock boots. Fucking sad cunts.

I apologise neither for length nor girth.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 10:08, Reply)

Nighty Night
We got it in Oz on the random channel and I happened to flick over to it and tried to watch it coz I like oddball british comedy, and it had a dude from "League of Gentlemen" in it.
It just wound me up. I was yelling at the TV like me senile old mum.
Silly me.
Oh God. Am I turning into my mum?
(spida, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 9:40, Reply)

Christians...
Uhm, have a feeling this would have relavent to the last QOTW but it confounds me...
Christmas isn't a Christian festival to celebrate the date of the birth of Christ. It was originally a pagan festival to celebrate the winter solstice, held between the 21st and 23rd of December. It's called Yule. And Easter is the spring equinox, called 'Ostara' celebrated on the 21st-23rd of March, coloured eggs representing fertility were given. If you know that how can you believe in these festivities for the reason they are supposed to exsist?? I don't understand the concept of religous faith. I understand it's usefulness to keep a moral society, but not how people believe in it down to the letter. I'm very interested in this, so I discussed it with my ultra-christian friend. She told me she believed that God created all evidence to the contrary to test the faith. Neat hey?
Aplogies for atheism. If it works for you, stick with it ;)
P.S. In aid of all those who get annoyed with improper spelling, here's a bit of English for everyone.
Your - referring to something that belongs to someone you're speaking to.
You're - abbreviation of 'you are'*
Youre - not a word
Their - belonging to a third party
There - a place
They're - abbreviation for 'they are'*
I agree completely that 'Bo Selecta' is void of humour. Or hummous. Humous? Hummus? Vitreous Humor? Hmm. That's another one.
Motor Neurone Disease week. This week apparently. And Conjoined Foetus Mylepsia day is when?
Why every item in women's magazines are about what you look like and complaining about how women shouldn't try to look like those in the magazines. And 'poor them' stories. FHM is the way forward, girls, and you can even give a nice poster to your boyfriend! Or your Dad...
P.P.S. Oh yeah! Contractions! Thanks :) Guess I meant 'abbreviated version of'. Yeah. Honest.
(spida, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 9:28, Reply)

WTF?
why is dr pepper called dr pepper?
why do people say mind your head after you fucking hit it?
how come the fat controllers railway is still open after so many crashes and derailments and how come no one asks why all the trains have faces and can talk?
HOW COME THE COYOTE STILL HASN'T GOT THE FUCKING ROADRUNNER?
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 9:18, Reply)

Funsized chocolate
I don't get it. What's 'fun' about a chocolate bar that's half the size of a regular bar? It's just a rip. Are regular bars boring in some way?
(Brundy, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 7:08, Reply)

Year book quote
In high school we we're meant to write quote to put under our picture in the year book. If you didn't write one the editor would put one in for you. The one they gave me was "Ahhh I say, you cap'in" What the fuck does that mean?
(afroboy, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 5:55, Reply)

The youth of today
even though Im only 21 myself. They are either goth, slut, chav, jock or metal idiots. And for once, the jocks are the most normal. The important things today seems to be mobile phones and ring-fucking-tones, claiming online that nobody understands you (and webcaming yourself halfnaked) and doing retardet stuff like cutting your arm up with a razor, ect.

My brother is only 5 years younger than me, but I feel like Im 30 when I talk to him because I can't enjoy 2-3 guys "hanging out at the mall doing nothing with no money for five hours". I even told him he was misusing the Intarweb _only_ using it for chatting... and fucking webpage-chatting, not even IRC or (ush) MSN.

And I don't understand tabloids, or rather the morons who read them. And I beleve those morons are the same who watches reality-TV... FFS, if you are going to hang around looking at the TV (nothing wrong with that I must add) atleast rent/download a quality movie/series instead of polluting your mind with crappy daytime TV.

Thank you for reading my rant.

EDIT: Lister: YES!
I myself love to google about everyday science, like this one, how planes REALLY fly.

Link to google search
(johndoe - try the wonderful teleph0ne system, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 5:18, Reply)

I just don't get it....
...how in'84 I sat down rolled a large Jazz cigarette popped the top off a bottle of Brandy and ended up in Australia...
(King Spoon, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 5:00, Reply)

Why...
don't people keep on learning? Even after grad school many never open a text or treatise again. I, too, get hypnotised by the idiot box but I'm still able to shut it off. Why don't you pick a vacation spot and study the language, customs, art, architecture, music and history? It will enrich your experience and stimulate your mind. You can't be that lazy.
(Lister, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 4:47, Reply)

Why If I can't sneeze, im told to look at teh light
or, why grass only makes me sneeze in the summer.
(Tezzrexx http://5punk.co.uk - b3ta gamers, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 2:55, Reply)

yawning
Why are yawns contagious?
That said, why does seeing the word "yawn" make you want to?

Ten points to me if you yawned while reading this. Tee hee.
(megomobile, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 2:30, Reply)

stupid people
Stupid people - I cannot understand how many people are just plain stupid! Who can live when all they do is sit there with a blank expression all the time. There are actual retards who would love the opportunity to live a normal intellectual life but can't because they're physically disabled.. and yet there's plenty of able-bodied people out there who'll just sit there and be simple and not think outside the square.. i don't get it

Spelling errors - people make spelling errors all the time.. for the SAME WORDS! Once you've been corrected for it, shouldn't you learn from it??

Guys - They make out like they want you but then totally ignore you in front of other people
(brotagaia, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 2:24, Reply)

Bla Bla Bla Bla....
Men- Will never understand them

The Da Vinci Code- Took me ages to read it, still dont get what happened at the end

Football- I dont understand how men can be so loyal to 22 men running round ikicking a ball

The little button right text to the 1 on your keyboard? Waht does it do??

People under the age of 18 releasing music. Shouldnt they be getting an education?

Old time bands reforming an trying to be popular again, yes i mena you duran duran

The Royal Family- Wht is the point of them? What do they Do?

MTV- MUSIC TELEVISION, But why do the insist on showing reruns of punk'd pimp my ride etc.
(StrangeKristine, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 2:02, Reply)

Unless your clever
you wont get this.
(Fuck Bill, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 1:59, Reply)

Polish rubiks cube

When I was about 5 years old, my dad's friend was over and said to me "Wanna play with a Polish rubiks cube?"

Being 5, it sounded swell to me. Imagine the hilarity of handing a 5 year old a completely yellow Rubik's cube. I was confused, the parents laughed like hyenas but it was quickly forgotten.

Fast forward 20 years to me sitting in my office, trying to stay awake when somewhere out of the cobwebs of my mind comes "What's so polish about a yellow Rubik's cube?...*facepalm*"

did I mention I really am Polish. and blonde. double whammy.
(Girlmitzi, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 1:56, Reply)

Going out and
spending a lot of money getting so drunk that you can't remember all the fun you had....just so you can spend the whole next day feeling like shit while you complain about how crap you feel and how broke you are.
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 1:22, Reply)

Huh?
I just don't get it? Neither did Derek Acorah - it's fraud mate!

www.jonscelebworld.com/BadPsychics/Editorials/MostHaunted/KreedKafer.html
(Wrecked Tums, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 1:08, Reply)

Unfunny Cunts
Little Britain - The media just expects & almost forces us to love this bag of shite. British comedy is in a real bad fucking way if this is the saviour.

I just don't get it.
(BiggusBaddus, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 0:38, Reply)

For the love of God!
Audi TT's: They're just VW Golf's in a different dress for people who can't afford a proper sports car and are willing to spend £100 on shirt which you can't tell that it looks any different from the much cheaper version that was brought at a Debenham's sale!

Cujones: Undersized chicken nuggets! Miniture food in general really!

People who smoke 20 a day but refuse to eat a Big Mac after they find out what goes into it!

Reality TV: Big Brother. The Surreal Life. The Farm. Reality TV channel, remember that one? When will it stop?

Filling the 2 entire levels of a multistorey carpark with disabled spaces. They're near the exit to shopping centre, but not one of them is on ground floor!

Wired magazine: Every article proclaims that something or other is the next big thing or this time next year all be using such and such!

Jungle music/Drum and Bass. It's just noise made by pressing a button on the drum machine!

The Sims: I cannot understand what is so fun or great about controlling the live's of a family on a computer.

Christian weddings. Not a drop of alcohol and only a finger buffet and muffins for afters!

Everybody Love Raymond: Who? Who love Raymond. He's not funny. Also he sounds like he could use some Vicks.

Piercings: Anywhere other than the ear seems odd and what about the one's where the guy can stick a 2 inch disc through his lobe? WTF!?!?!?

£100 pounds for a pair of football boots? Are you kidding? Are you a better footballer because you're wearing them? The answer is no!

Songs with so much swearing in them that every other word is blanked? Don't Want You Back by Eamon? Why play them in the first place?

Managers using terms like Blue Sky Thinking and giving you KPI's and competency based assessments, blah blah blah. It keeps someone in HR in a job at least.

Mobile phones that are so small only a child could use. In fact 4 year old with mobile phones, why oh why?

Hello magazine: Do you have nothing better to do than look at photos of minor celebrities on holiday!

Oxfam: About 20p in every pound goes to charity and all the execs drive flash and cars and work in a flash building. Not my definition of charity, mate!

IPod's: Why pay so much for something like that when you can get something just as good for half the price. Oh yeah, it's that style thing.

There are so so many..................
(Mavryk, Sat 2 Apr 2005, 0:20, Reply)

Beats me
Why "prayers are being held for the Pope". Surely he'd be guaranteed a decent seat upstairs..what the fuck they praying for?
(Chillumm, Fri 1 Apr 2005, 23:23, Reply)