Steam Buggy Bingo (or Power Juicer etc)
Switch your Sky digibox to the QVC shopping channel. Everyone picks a number between 1 and 40 (ish). Then count through the channels until an infomercial for Steam Buggy appears. The closest wins a drink/£5/topless hand shandy. A favourite in our house.
(rogerzilla, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:46, Reply)

the pint game
at any point of boredom me and my friends play the pint game,-very simple, take it in turns to name a member of the opposite sex, and the other people have to declare how many pints (out of 10) it would take them to shag that person,
sounds boring, but it succesfully wastes about 15 mins :D
( bookerina, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:46, Reply)

Watch out for that...
similar to the staring game but only when walking on a pavement. you must stare at some1 and maintain eye-contact to try and get the person to walk into someone/something. you get more points the larger or more obvious the object. the largest object i have succeded with was a postbox.
(Banjo-Jeff I don't play a banjo, and I'm not called Jeff., Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:36, Reply)

Spank the monkey (no not me)
A game invented by myself,and a cousin at a large family and friends type BBQ last summer, lots of ankle biters running about,and several piles of furry animals.We got the kids to stand in a circle (nothing dodgy,just something to keep them out the way whilst the adults got pissed in peace)and throw a stuffed monkey around the circle, with us shouting reverse (change the direction they throw the monkey) back (throwing the monkey back to who just threw it to them) and if the monkey was dropped they had to shout bad monkey...we'd then pick the monkey up and throw it in the air and whoever got it first had to smack the monkey whilst loudly shouting 'I'm spanking the monkey'. Hours of hilarity ensued and it guarenteed the kids were knackered.

apologies for the length btw
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:30, Reply)

buzzword bingo
Further to earlier postings, the original title was "bullshit bingo". Here's the address to get it : www.perkigoth.com/home/kermit/stuff/bullshitbingo/
Never had the bottle to play it at work though
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:29, Reply)

The Game
A friend of mine plays the game. What game? I asked him, to which the reply was THE game.
After several minutes of interrogation I found out that the game is not to think of the game. If you think of the game, you have to be honest and let the other players know you thought of the game. Winner is the only person who didn't think of the game - biggest problem being that as soon as you tell people you lost the game you make them inadvertently think of the game. As far as I know there's never been a winner...
(sanity challenged, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:27, Reply)

Hummer!!
People who spend fifty thousand dollars on their car have earned the priviledge - the *right* - to be acknowledged by the plebians. All hummers, even the econ-sized H2s count. The trick is to be the first to "acknowledge" the Hummer, by means of proclaiming loudly: "Well f*ck me with a crowbar, that is the biggest gddamn Hummer I have ever laid eyes on!" or some variant of. The longer you go on about it, the more points obviously. Similar to punchbug, 'cept that Hummers are much easier to spot.
Hummers are actually pretty rare, even here in America, so if you want to play more fast-paced you can opt to include Dodge Durangos and other urban assault vehicals.

Another quickie american game..
Spot the German: best played on a Florida beach.
Self-explanatory, I'd think.
(fantastic german, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:11, Reply)

me and my sisters used to play...
the advert game. Basically during the adverts (commercials) you have to guess the product name before the other person to get a point. No pint is awarded if the product is given away by the advert or if the logo appears anywhere. It sounds so simple but is very addictive.
(Ash_Pow is now available in extra medium, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:06, Reply)

Another "line" game
This one was taught to me by a mate called Steve from university (Hi, Steve), and it foxed my family for ages. To her credit, my Mum was first to twig. It only works with people who haven't played before, as will become obvious.

Premise of the game: The Quizmaster is imagining a railway line. You have to guess the rule for deciding whether a station is on the line or not by saying the name of a station and the Quizmaster says "yes" or "no".

An example could be "The line with all stations beginning with P." So "Paddington" would get a yes, but "Bank" would get a no. Do a couple of really easy examples.

Then, you start the real game. The required rule is a right bastard. The station is on the line according to whether the person says "Um" or "Er" before naming the station, or not.

This will inevitably earn you a beating from the last person left guessing, as they will feel like a right dimwit.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 18:02, Reply)

Littlebean's game
Littlebean, if you read this, I still can't help playing the line game. I thought I was the only one. Except I duck if it's above my head. Very sad.

I also played push halfpenny on a formica table with a large model of Starkyand Hutch's Gran Torino. Points were scored for stunts and how many wheels went over the edge. Naturally drugs were involved.
(themightyginge, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 17:44, Reply)

You asked.
During a power cut on a particularly pi**ed evening, Mrs Wonko and I, lit up a load of candles, and decided to pass the time by playing cards. But we couldn't remember how to play any card games (seriously, when was the last time you played cards ?)

So that's when we invented Psychic Snap. It's just like normal snap, except the cards go face down.

Scarily, after a while, she got pretty good at it.
( wonko the sane, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 17:40, Reply)

3 Sided Clothesline of Death
requires one of those 3-sided clothesline things that spins, 3 people, dental insurance, intoxicants. Each person bites onto their side of the clothesline and then you start running (in one direction) around said clothesline, holding on with yer teeth. Last person to fall down and/or lose their teeth "wins".
(Taunton Mishap, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 17:24, Reply)

Olympic Temperance Training
Select the least relaxed of your friends. Proceed to coach them in calmness, ready for the winter olympics in a few years time.This is done by sitting them down and standing facing their side. Place one hand on the back of their head, and whack them gently but repeatedly on the forehead with the palm of your other hand, counting how many times you do it until they stop you or try to run away. Tell them you'll give up if they get to thrity, or some other number higher than their last attempt. If you've ground them down enough they'll believe you.
It can be even more fun if you slap very fast and count very slow. The outraged shouting is satisfying.
p.s. if they swing with they're left, duck to the right.
(nono,nononono,nononono,nono there's no limit, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 16:31, Reply)

satsumo wrestling
back in the days when dear old mummies packed our lunch boxes we invented the wonderful sport of SatSumo wrestling. It basically consisted of making the 2 satsumas involved growl at each other, but was a great way to pass fifteen minutes.
(Dethro Jix I'm better than you and I probably hate you. Cunt., Wed 31 Mar 2004, 16:26, Reply)

Telesales
I love playing with them -

i.e. The usual Double Glazing one, gets a polite response from me of, "I'm sorry, we don't have any windows" usually followed by prolonged silence from the teleseller before they thank me and hang up...

The other, was one for Electricity, do I want to convert to SWEB or some such rubbish. I advised the girl that we didn't have that new fangled electricity in my house, to which she replied, "um, well, er, how do you cook things?"

I told her we only ate takeaway as I descended into fits of laughter....
( icezebra *insert large monkey*, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 16:11, Reply)

My game
We always play a game of "No bra,no knickers and a one armed man"whenever we got shopping at Lakeside...not too hard to spot a woman with no bra,no knickers needs a lot of close examination and if you see a one armed man,let me know,because HE`S THE ONE THEY`RE LOOKING FOR!!
(chuffster, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 16:07, Reply)

Office jousting
All you need is a large room with a wooden floor, chairs with wheels, some cardboard tubes nicked from the mailroom and a makeshift shield. Optional ribbons for your hair.

You'll need someone to push you. Better still, someone to push.

Both jousters sit in their chairs at opposite ends of the office (the longer the room the better). They're then pushed towards each other at high speed. Just watch as the laughter changes to shrieks of horror as they match their collision course. Even funnier, watch them stick their legs out to defend themselves.

Me and my mate tried it and we scraped all the skin off each others' shins and spent the next week limping around the office 'cos we stupidly stuck our legs out thinking that'd stop us from colliding. Yeah, right.

Hilarious fun! And it poses no danger to anyone whatsoever.
(raize, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 16:01, Reply)

Hello could I speak to Mrs Focker?
I once worked in telesales trying to sell burglar alarms on behalf of British Gas. I was poor and desperate and still not proud. It really was the worst job ever as the database was always frightened old ladies which you had to harangue into accepting an appointment.

Anyway, to liven up the 12 hour shifts we used to do we invented a rather simple game in which you had to fit in a word or phrase to your sales shpeel without the person on the phone realising.

It started off quite tame like saying words like "Beat off" and "Hand Job", but escalated quite quickly into full phrases like "your hot hairy cookies" and "beware the wild monkeys". Obviously the longer and more ridiculous the phrase the bigger the laugh, and hence points.

I remember this one "oooh I've just come......off my chair, it must be broken".

Vee vee childish, but Vee vee amusing,
(jackamonk, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:53, Reply)

manager bingo
this is a nice inoffensive one for the workplace,you and your collegues have to think of a word for each other eg "wimple" or "jehova".By the end of the day you have to make the manager say this via the "richard and judy you say we pay" method but not allowed to alert his suspicion at all,last one to make him say the word loses.
(minister of evil, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:50, Reply)

Tree-fluid
A game for two players.

First person says 'Tree'

Second person says 'Fluid'

Back to first person, who says 'Tree', and so on.

Winner is first person to say 'Sap!'. The idea is to say 'Sap!' exactly before your opponent was going to say it, to maximise their frustration. At first you may think this is silly, and you'd just say 'Sap!' on your first go, but that triumph pales once you get to the advanced level, and go round about 20 times, as the tension rises, and you get a 'Sap!' in.

Its a simplified Mornington Crescent, really...
(spacedman, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:21, Reply)

being hideously drunk
is essential for this one. oh, and you need an old school bowling alley where the returning balls get shot down a channel at the side, incredibly fast and straight back to you.

you can imagine what happens next. man drinks too much, man sits on chute with legs spread, man takes ball to the nuts. it's a great game. as long as it's not you in the hot seat.

sounds like just a stupid drunk thing to do? well, you're not far wrong. but the game is this: getting complete strangers to do it. and, believe it or not, it's doable. not easy, mind you. oh, and a rule is that you're not allowed to buy drinks for them. just smooth talk.

the record is three in one evening. beat that.
(dunkin' goodhew, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:14, Reply)

Where is the bass drum?
While zooming through roadside villages in the west of Ireland, my friend would hang bodily out of the car's back window and shout at surprised, shrinking pedestrians, "WHERE IS THE BASS DRUM?". In a faux-German accent, naturally.

It's the simple things in life....
(schmig, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:02, Reply)

Good game
Using small balled up pieces of paper or blue tac, lying on the floor below and uplighter lamp shade throwing as many in as you can. Happy for hours.
(smithsonian, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 15:01, Reply)

Ooh... Another one... Melon tossing!
two people stand facing eachother about a foot apart, one tosses a large watermelon to the other. They both take a step back, and toss the melon again. The stepping back and tossing is repeated until one person drops the melon.

The loser.
( dr_fonz, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:55, Reply)

A Hot Summer's Day
Mid-afternoon in the park, 6 of us lazing about, wasting time.
To stifle the boredom, we invented Thong Ball (c)
To play this mysterious, magical game of aeons past - you need:

3 thongs (preferably different colours)

A long, empty pringles can (preferably cheese and onion).

Wrap the three thongs into a ball, and use the pringles can as a bat - forthwith baseball shall be played.

Estimated time before you get bored of Thong Ball (c) - 10 minutes
(Market Man, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:50, Reply)

Superdrug is a shitehole
Its boring as hell and the pay is pish. So to entertain ourselves, i and a few of the other staff invented a few games to pass the time and piss off the bastard customers.

1) This allows you to get your own back on the knob who has just interrupted your conversation with a colleague because they cant find a product. Your job is to deliberately mispronounce the product, and try and get the customer to follow suit, and look like a twat. bonus points for the wilder names.

2) a game titled "did you pay for that?" works a charm with those with young children. Basically, you offer a customer a basket (good customer service) then try and slip as much intop the basket without them noticing. You cannot pre-load the basket before handing it to the customer. preloading rarely works anyway. More points for the heavier and bulkier the item, double points if they actually pay for it, and triple points if the child gets a row or either harrased mother or child cries as a result.
(Rushy, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:43, Reply)

Shoving cacti up your arse... Best played somewhere hot (where cacti grow)
The aim of the game is simple... Point to a cactus and say to the other player "how much would you have to be paid to shove that up your arse?" They offer a price (or perhaps decline the offer). When it's their turn they point to a cactus and ask the same question.

Repeat. Ad nauseam.
( dr_fonz, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:33, Reply)

Shouting "Penis" the loudest - only more hardcore
Since shouting "penis" the loudest (or variants thereof) has become this question's 'Ice Cream Van' answer, I thought I'd share the version we played at school.

Each player takes it in turn to close their eyes and raise "the V's" or their middle fingers at head-height in the direction of the teacher. Each participant must keep their eyes closed and fingers raised longer than the last. Loser is the first one to get rumbled and receive a bollocking.

Note: works best with substitute teachers and the entire back row of a class playing.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:05, Reply)

Tramps
Me and me mates like to play top tramps, we have cool names for the tramps that live near us in the high street like The Worm (3 points as he is king tramp) The Weasel (2 points he is the prince of tramps) and all the others are just skaggy, and are worth 1 point.
(BoatMan, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 14:00, Reply)

The Starring Game. (tm)
When me and my mate Helen were on holiday to the coast, we did a lot of driving around. To pass away the time, we invented "The Starring Game." Look out for someone walking along the street (or better still, do it in traffic jams when both lanes/both ways are packed) and make eye contact with them. Now don't lose eye contact until they go past. Sound boring? Do you have any idea how many down right nasty/dirty/down right scared looks we got from people? Try it with children, or better still - angry Mother's with screaming kids in their cars.
( holygiblets, Wed 31 Mar 2004, 13:50, Reply)