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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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Have you tried the Dickensian Orphanage Chef workout regime?
Let me tell you: it's gruelling.
(sinisterdexter, Mon 27 Aug 2018, 9:33, Reply)
i asked my friend
why she was dating a homeless man who looked like Elvis.
she replied: "i'm courting a tramp, i can't walk out"
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 26 Aug 2018, 15:10, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
Which World Leader Current or Past, has the biggest genitals?
China's Previous President.. Hu Jintao (Huge Endow)
(I helped save b3ta! R2Dtard Poor kids are as smart as white kids, Sat 25 Aug 2018, 22:34, Reply)
What do you call somebody who compulsively steals from Polish shops?
A Skleptomaniac
(I helped save b3ta! Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Sat 25 Aug 2018, 21:33, Reply)
Poor Old Billy
I find the expressions of concern by the British talk show host, Michael Parkinson, regarding Billy Connelly's decline in his "Parkinson's" Disease utterly distasteful, given that Mr Parkinson clearly gave it to him in the first place. what a hypocrite, eh?
(GSRP, Sat 25 Aug 2018, 10:15, Reply)
My dog went to a demonstration the other day
While she was there some antifa types took issue at her placard.

It was all an innocent misunderstanding, she was only campaigning for Free Tummy Rubs.
(keeferreefer, Sat 25 Aug 2018, 0:39, Reply)
A pun, sort of
Your dad might not like yeast based toast toppers,


But your marmite
(Formaly Over say's hello, Fri 24 Aug 2018, 20:16, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
it's not my joke, goes almost like this:
I once had a job digging holes for water. it was well boring.
(I helped save b3ta! Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 24 Aug 2018, 15:59, Reply)
My German Shepherd won't stop eating
He's alsatiable
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 24 Aug 2018, 14:53, Reply)
I was so hungry last night I ate the magazine that was sitting on my bedside table.
Now I've got Readers Indigestion.
(JewelKnightJess, Fri 24 Aug 2018, 14:27, Reply)
Do you know what gets my goat?
El Chupacabra.
(I helped save b3ta! Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Mon 20 Aug 2018, 23:52, Reply)
I find it impossible to look at cream cakes
The doctor says it's a problem with my profiterole vision.
(I helped save b3ta! krang, Sun 19 Aug 2018, 21:27, Reply)
My mum made me do bell ringing at the church when I was a kid.
One day, when alone in the bell tower, I dropped my trousers and wrapped the rope round my nob for a laugh.

The vicar came in and tolled me off.
(Wanksock Crusty. Musty. Trusty, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 11:00, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
Copulation is best learnt the hard way.

(I helped save b3ta! blugg (it's all gone horribly wrong), Sun 29 Jul 2018, 17:02, Reply)
My girlfriend surprised me with a strap-on the other night
I was terrified at first, but I've managed to put it behind me.
(Bocboy, Sun 29 Jul 2018, 14:27, Reply)
High brow joke
I can't believe they cancelled Vivaldi after just Four Seasons...
(wiggys, Fri 20 Jul 2018, 13:24, Reply)
Great news about the cave rescue
Finally a time when dirty men looking for Thai boys didn't end in a messy court case and deportation
(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Wed 11 Jul 2018, 2:59, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
Joke
The DUP's bridge from Northern Ireland to Scotland.
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Fri 6 Jul 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Joke
At the Battle of el Alamein, what was the last thing Rommel said to his troops before they got into their tanks?
"OK men, get into your tanks."
(bravenewmalden, Wed 4 Jul 2018, 16:13, Reply)
Why did the amorous owl give up?
Too wet to woo
(I helped save b3ta! ProjectWeasel The Bird is the Word, Fri 29 Jun 2018, 22:57, Reply)
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Clit
Clit who?
Clit Richard. Well I always thought he was a bit of a cunt.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:03, Reply)
I was looking for help with my finances but I found myself looking at a website that was trying to restore a French impressionist painter's art
Turns out it was monetsavingexpert.com
(I helped save b3ta! The_cold_stare Coming here only when very, very bored, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 22:05, Reply)
The guy from A Very English Scandal and 90s rapper Skee-Lo stood back to back
Whishaw was a little bit taller
(electricgoose, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 14:10, 2 replies, latest was 6 years ago)
A polar bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a large ............. ...... ... whisky."
Barman: "Why the big paws?"
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:32, Reply)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:28, 1 reply, 6 years ago)
Q. What's a good brand name for a scheme in which one pays for vehicles with anuses?
A.Bum Per Cars™.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 6 Jun 2018, 18:39, Reply)
*ahem*
If a travel agent is surrounded by a ring of small islands, are they atoll-protected?
(I helped save b3ta! mugwump In summary then, oh no. Chris., Mon 4 Jun 2018, 0:49, Reply)
Someone murdered a competitor in the Tour de France
Cycle killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?




Je suis désolé.
(I helped save b3ta! Ivana Puliakokov, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 1:28, 2 replies, latest was 7 years ago)

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