Juan Quar reminds me:
Steel wool.

Actually, it's not so much steel wool I hate as the thought that it inevitably triggers in me when I encounter any, to wit: I'd really fucking hate to bite down on to a ball of this stuff.

I don't have fillings, but the thought of biting steel wool (or a fork, come to think of it), makes me go all wuhhurhuragh anyway. So why will the thought of actually doing so not go away?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:14, 5 replies)

Probably not that irrational but......
a few things that make me rage

Cheesy Crisps
They smell like the devil and make your fingers orange. If they do that to your fingers, imagine what they are doing to your insides?
I feel sick if anyone near me is eating them. They smell horrible and it clings to you all day. Vile

Eyes
I don’t have a problem with other peoples – it’s only having mine touched. Or anything near my eyes.
I had my eyebrows threaded once and cried so much she had to stop halfway as she brushed her hand against my eyelashes. *shivers*

Shoes
People who make you take your shoes off when you get into their house.
I haven’t been walking in shit you know

Decking
Why put crappy wood over a lovely garden?

Fell pregnant
People who say they ‘fell’ pregnant
Fell? Did you fall onto a penis and just so happen to get knocked up? No. Then stop saying it you fuckign mong it doesn’t even make sense

Toes / legs
Things going between toes really freaks me out. I can wear flip flops but if something gets trapped between my toes (string, material etc) I totally flip out. My sister used to put things between my toes (mostly playing cards) when I was asleep just to watch my reaction when I woke up. This was mostly screaming.
Also, things on my legs. If my other half happens to put his leg over one of mine at night I go mental. I do the same if I get my leg wrapped up in the duvet at night too.

Chalk
I hate the feeling of chalk on my hands. It’s making me go all goosey just thinking about it.

Maltesers
I hate them. They are nasty dry little shells that stick to the roof of your mouth.

Slamming
What’s wrong with you? Are you a 15 year old sulky hormonal teenager? No. You are a grown adult. Close the door properly you slack handed fucko

Walkers
Or people who don’t know how to walk.
The people who suddenly stop walking at the top of an escalator, or the people who walk out of a shop doorway only to suddenly stop and decide where they are going to next whilst standing right in the exit. Fuckos.
Or the people who decide the middle of a busy high street on a Saturday afternoon is the perfect place to stop and have a chat.
They usually seem surprised when I ask them to ‘move out of the bloody way’

Oyster Card rummagers.
You do the journey every day. It’s not like the Oyster machine is a shock. It hasn’t sprung up over night.
Why on earth do you wait till you get right up to it before rummaging in your bag for your oyster card and manage to hold up everyone behind you? Thickos.
(Nanny Pat vote for me, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 14:03, 12 replies)

A couple of years ago,
we were trawling the shops for a new sofa. There was one particular one that I liked quite a lot. But as time went on, we started noticing slight variations on the design in various shops and for some reason that put me off. I decided it a bit naff, moved on and never gave it a second thought after that. Then a few weeks later, a friend bought one in that style.

Another example was a certain type of bath. The typical rectangular bath, except that half of one side is bowed out and you get a similarly curved glass shower screen. I quite liked them at first, but then I saw them everywhere. Again, it put me off and I think they're a bit tacky now. Once more, a friend of my missus bought the same bath and shower screen.

So, people we know. Stop buying stuff I no longer like. It really gets on my tits.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:49, 1 reply)

The word "solus"
Apparently it means a marketing email sent out to promote just one thing, like an event or something. Or as I would call it, an email. I'm currently watching it creep into a bunch of marketing-speak at work (an email I just got refers to "two solus emails"). Why? Why can't I just call it a fucking email?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:46, 3 replies)

Wasps
I am a grown man of 46 but screamed like a little girl when a wasp flew at me in the kitchen on Saturday. "Flew" is probably a bit strong. "Drifted slowly" would be more accurate.

I have never liked them. They are brightly coloured evil.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:43, 4 replies)

Oop - despite my protestation below
"Fashion" glasses with either no lenses, or simple glass/plastic.

I wear glasses because I'm short-sighted. I wouldn't if I didn't have to.

You, however, are wearing them, though you don't have to, and they aid you not at all. You are an absolute fucking dolt.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:29, 12 replies)

Friends.
What a load of unfunny merkin shit.
It should be banned from being shown on any channel.

I don't know why, i can't stand it.
Oh wait, yes i can, its fucking shit!!!
I can't see why people rave over it.

(PS Am i the only one who doesn't think it's funny???)
(betty swollocks, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:23, 8 replies)

"Aspiring Model"
Why is it every woman under the age of 30 who gets maimed or murdered is nearly always described as an "aspiring model" by the press?
(superfly78, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:06, 11 replies)

Those big 'back door' style keys, with a metal bit at the end with bits cut out. My upper front teeth could slide into one of those gaps and get snapped off.
Every time I see such a key I cringe and wrap my tongue around my teeth in case the key attacks them. I've even been known to place a hand over my mouth until the key is safely out of sight. Just a photo of one can set me off.

Why? I dunno. I'm sitting here now anxiously checking my front teeth with my tongue and occasionally patting my lips to make sure no rogue back door keys can sneak in there. Urrgh.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:02, 9 replies)

Gold medals are no guarantee of quality
Mrs BinDipper has real hate in her bones for Kelly Holmes.

Did Kelly bully her as a child? no

Did Kelly say her new hair cut made her look man-ish? no

Did Kelly show up at party wearing the same dress? no

So what's the source for all the hatred?

Mrs BD: "she's just a bit up herself isn't she"

Seems winning a gold medal does not guarantee love from the whole country.
(BinDipper, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:58, 7 replies)

The third law of thermodynamics
Everyone is always banging on about the third law of thermodynamics, no one ever wants to talk about the first, second or fourth laws.
WHO GIVES A F*CK ABOUT THE THIRD LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS?
(peterd was fighting crime on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:49, 17 replies)

People who post on QotW

( WormuIus, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:46, 4 replies)

Cars that tell you when to change gear
I've recently been driving a lot of hire cars, most of which have unfortunately been Vauxhalls.

Of all their many many failings, the one that irks me most is the little light that comes on the dashboard with an arrow saying SHIFT if you linger longer in a gear than the car would like you to.

"Fuck you!" I want to shout at it "If I want to stay in third gear then I will do so, don't pretend that you know my reasons or how I should be driving"

I fucking hate it. Stupid shit Vauxhalls. Although I am told that it's not just Vauxhalls that have it now either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:39, 24 replies)

The use of the word "tot" to describe a small child
Usually used by the tabloids. I know it is a legitimate phrase but I absolutely fucking loathe it.
(Leonard Hatred briefly did some work on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:34, 5 replies)

liars, or people who warp the facts
like my mate who has a new website claiming he has a 'successful' background in broadcasting. His company actually went bankrupt 5-6 years ago without any programmes being commissioned.
( Bamboo Steamer, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:34, 3 replies)

Rotting teeth
Especially from current/ex-heroin addicts, seriously, you people have nothing to smile about, I don't want to see those rancid gaps where your teeth used to be before you started shooting smack into your balls/labia. At least go to a dentist and get some implants or something, it's not that I expect everyone to have perfect teeth, I just find those rotten gaps surrounded by a yellow, brown and black jagged maw absolutely disgusting, it makes me want to rip my own eyes out of my skull.

Just go see the fucking dentist, I don't care if you have to take out another mortgage, just sort it out and maybe you might find a job.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 12:15, 8 replies)

I'm pumped to the tits on fertility drugs.
I hate everything.

Eighty percent of this nation’s violent female prisoners committed their crimes while on Clomid. Just try to disagree with me when I’m Hulk-ovulating.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:54, 2 replies)

Peaches
They're just fucking weird. All purply and furry and soft...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:52, 1 reply)

Grey Squirrels
Just rats with bushy tails, quite what anyone sees in the ruddy things is beyond me
Waltzing into the garden, chasing off the small birds, pinching the food ide put out for them and then eating the freshly planted & sprouting bulbs

I see them in the garden, the door out is old and heavy with two locks, they know that it takes me far long to get out to make anything of chasing them away so they stare through the window, mocking my angry gesticulations.

Tho i did score a point against them recently, the bird feeder on the washing line that they raid now has two freely rotating 2 liter bottles on either end that they can't get round. All squirrelly attempts so far have lead to rodent re-inactions of the high rollers from Takeshi's castle, although i've never watched that hoping that the contestants fracture their skulls

Like most moans however, my biggest frustration is with the council, because i would quite happily catch and kill them if the legislation wasn't so idiotic.
The preferred humane way of dispatching them is to either pay for pest control, shoot them (ok if you have a gun) or put them in a bag and hit them on the head.

So, a squirrel running around in a sack with repeat attempts from me to clonk the bugger with the cricket bat... paints a very humane image for sure
bah
(MaxZero ZeroMax, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:45, 6 replies)

Websites that bollock you for not logging out politely
FUCK OFF! Close that window rudely, every time.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Parsley
Most of the posts on here have been about rational hatreds, in which I concur. Chavs, Tories, bad English.

But parsley? Why should I hate it? It's a herb.

Yet it is the very pubic fronds of the Old One Himself, drenched in the secretions of a billion succubi.

For starters, it's ALWAYS green, no matter how long you've been ignoring it on the spice rack.

Second, it's what the English use instead of actual flavours. This reaches its apotheosis in the abomination known as parsley sauce. "Spunk with green bits in for tea again? Thanks Mum!"

Last, it has a sort of aroma: that of decayed grass cuttings and burning linoleum.

Bastard parsley.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:20, 14 replies)

Eurgh.
The feeling of seatbelt running through teeth.

Not sure if it's just me, but if I ever found myself being tortured by the Stasi, they'd just have to do this to me and I'd break in an instant.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:19, 5 replies)

Everyone, everything, everywhere.
I am become Hatred.

Chill, peeps - it's a beautiful day. Why not 'phone a friend and tell them how great they are?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:16, 1 reply)

Radio advertising
For cheap car insurance

The one that i hate the most uses their web address in a sentence.
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

And another couple...
Letting agents. A shower of scum. Probably not irrational.
Chav scum, tracky bottoms tucked into day-glo socks, hands down front of pants like they is from the fucking hood. Again, probably not irrational.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Daddy long legs aka Craneflies
it's only them it's no other insects (not even mozzies and those bad boys fucking LOVE eating me)
No it's just Daddy Long Legs. It's the way they fly in a sort of clattering around way I can't stand it and if one is in the toilet I have to kill it before I can go. Even if there is a turtle-head situation. I cannot sit on the throne in the presence of a DLL...
Bleurgh.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:49, 1 reply)

winged beasties
houseflies and mosquitos mainly. This hatred is vastly inflated when in the toilet. I go in, lock the door and then hear "bzzzzzzzz" and then spend the next few minutes trying to see whatever it is flying about.
It happened last summer, and I saw a mosquito. So I twatted it one. 10 seconds later, I hear another. And another. I squashed 5 of them before I could sit down and relax.

And a particularly loud housefly in the same room as me makes me come up in goosepimples.

And this is why I very rarely turf any spiders out of the house.

Edit: Oops, just noticed that B.T. has posted pretty much the same thing down there VVVVV
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Middle lane hoggers
MOVE THE FUCK OVER, YOU IGNORANT BASTARDS*.

Sure it's been mentioned, but we're up to 21 pages now. I just don't have that much time...

* and people who use capital letters to shout on the web
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Moths.
Furry butterflies? Fuck off, they're minions of Satan himself.

My fear/hatred stems from the fact that, in the autumn, the toilet at my parents' house would be invaded by these little fucknuts, and they'd always choose to dive bomb you in the middle of a particularly long childhood shit.

Now I can't even see one without going back to that time, having a perfectly good shit ruined by these little cunts and my spastic uncoordinated attempts to get them to leave me alone.

Think I'm daft? Well you weren't there, man! You weren't there!
( B.T., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:35, 2 replies)