I'm going to destroy you all
I haven't quite decided how, but you are all definitely for it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:29, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

While shopping at Tescos
I found - and grabbed - a DVD of Kentucky Fried Movie for £1. Result!

What classic movies would you like to add to your collection?

predictive text had that initially as "mother would you like to bed". Filth!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:00, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Up till 130 drinking and playing cards
Up at 7, in work by 8.

Thus the question: What is the best way to slyly sleep at your desk? I face away from the door and there is only one other person in who doesn't care. Tell me tales of your sleeping as well.

And to make Becky happy you are all a bunch of shit gobberling spunk filled anal prolapsing kaoltards
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 8:56, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Artificial Sperm....a more likely explanation
The radio is full of news about Newcastle Uni's creation of artificial sperm.

I think what really happened is that one of the geordie techies found himself with the opportunity for some gentlemanly relaxation while in the lab. He deposited his little wrigglers in a test tube and forgot to clear up while in his post wank haze.

Next morning his results are discovered, and rather than own up, he sees the chance of a Nobel Prize. It just escalated from there.

So my question is.

Have you ever cracked one off at work? Only half a point if you did the deed in the bogs, 2 points if you were caught.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 7:51, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Please can I get a dose
of MTFU. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because his daughter keeps telling him stuff I've said, but embellishes it to make me look bad when she's drunk (Want me to take you shopping for clothes for your new job turns into Dad, sue said I am fat and ugly and will never make anything of myself) Seriously. And even when she is confronted with the truth I still get blamed (dad, Sue said I,ve been drinking and I haven't, even when she's passed out and I've told her to sober up before he gets home).

It's killing me, but I won't tolerate being lied about and I just can't fucking do this anymore. I need to man the fuck up, but is it ok if I die a little inside and cry?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 3:43, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I look like a chipmunk
and I can't open my mouth much wider then to fit a straw in.

woo yay. :(
Stupid wisdom teeth.

In othernews, the sun is shining. What's it like in your various world corners?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 3:28, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm gonna be
fairly fucked off if my funeral doesnt follow this format quite closely:
www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1198105/Michael-Jacksons-funeral-memorial-service-place-Staples-Center-Los-Angeles.html

yeah soz dailymail but fuck off
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 23:47, Reply)

If Neil Young could sing any song (at all not just his own) at your funeral
which song would it be, and why?
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:17, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Which would you rather be?
Hatefully remembered
or
forgotten
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 22:09, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Aia!
Let's have a new comic.


( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 21:19, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok, i've been watching this Jackson thing for about 30 minuites now.
I've mentioned this a few times, but american culture seems to be focused on gaining attention by who can have the biggest reaction to something. There are plenty of examples out there, like the "CupChicks Reaction" things.

Ovbously this isn't a statement on all americans, but american culture. Some american culture I like, it's just this aspect of it that pisses me off.

This over-the-top God talk is bullshit too, nobody in that room should be crying more than the kids, who look like they have no reaction at all.

At the end of the day, he was a geezer who sang well and did some good stuff, and probably some bad stuff too.

Plus what's up with the "I've just learnt photoshop, look, filters !" pictures on the projectors?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 20:03, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am amazed they even bothered to reply to such a lunatic.
Von: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Samstag, 4. Juli 2009 19:17
An: BUGA R: WOB, BUGATTI SALES
Betreff: Contact - www.bugatti.com

E-Mail:[email protected]

Notes/Message:

Hi,

I know this is a long shot, but can I borrow a Veyron for a weekend? My neighbour just got a Vauxhall Tigra and he has been driving it around and winding me up. I promise I will fill the tank up before I give it back.

Thanks!

powervator

--------------------

Dear powervator,

First of all thank you for your interest in our Bugatti Brand and Product.

Unfortunately it is not possible to borrow you a Veyron.

We kindly ask you for your understaning and wish you all the best for the future.


Mit freundlichen Grüßen // Yours sincerely
Mr Robert XXXXX
Bugatti Automobiles S.A.S.
Marketing/ Sales
www.bugatti.com

Adress
Bugatti Automobiles S.A.S.
1, Château St.Jean
67120 Molsheim-Dorlisheim
FRANCE
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 18:57, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Tuesday, it's quarter to seven, it's...


Brought to you by an entire bag of M&S sherbet lemons and the resultant sugar high. Gleeeeeeee.
( Maladicta, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 18:45, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So the Michael Jackson memorial service
who's watching?

I want them to wheel the coffin out, start the Thriller music and him to leap out and start dancing. That may well make my day
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 18:29, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

BNP babes
www.viceland.com/wp/2009/07/babes-of-the-bnp/
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 17:33, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Blyton
I think it would be an absolutely wizard idea if we had a "National Talk Like the Famous Five Day".

Probably with bags of lettuce, heaps of tomatoes and lashings of ginger beer.

etc.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 16:34, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh fuck this shit for a game of soldiers
If OT is going to revert back to being the festering circle wank full of kittehs and cups of tea then I'm leaving these shores for talk. They appear to be able to tell anyone to get to fuck and not suffer any consequences, so why the fuck shouldn't we? I mean we're all b3tans afterall.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 16:15, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's going to be a long week
I need some more sites in the vein of fmylife/mylifeisaverage/textsfromlastnight

Anything predominatly text based and funny. Please b3tans I am begging you, share the funnies.

Also hope you all have a nice day :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 15:22, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you reckon
either of these girls survived?

img515.imageshack.us/img515/4296/birthofasupervillain2.jpg
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 15:12, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YES !
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW2qxFkcLM0&feature=player_embedded

A film with no plot, no charactors, just disaster after disaster.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 13:51, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Buying body jewellery online
I usually get stuff from www.bodyjewelleryshop.com/ but as they don't have what I'm after I could do with some recommendations for other places to try; I'd rather not just go with something I find on google.

I'm looking for 12mm silicon plugs. They don't have to be flesh coloured; I'd prefer white.
( Captain V, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 13:27, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If you had the opportunity
To sell your soul, in return for the skillz/ life of someone else:

A) Would you do it?
B) If Yes then who/ what?


I quite fancy the life of a house-cat (non-neutered preferably), or the guitar skillz of Jimi Hendrix... or both hmmmmm
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 13:26, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got 'flu....
...and I'm bored. In fact I am the Chairman of the bored.

Any suggestions on minimal energy fun or cheering activities to pass the day?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 13:00, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, 'tards...
What's all this naughtiness that's going on?
And can it continue here?
( thealternativefact, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 12:51, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I laugh at danger, hahahahah!
I have just been electrocuted, cut myself and broke a nail all at the same time.


I'm still buzzing.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 12:42, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Seriousness for a moment
what do you slags think of the memorial in Hyde Park?

Not seen a decent pic yet. anyone got a link?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 12:33, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DEAR INTERNET USERS
Hit a pothole, found a pothole, or just fed up with potholes?
www.potholes.co.uk/
CAN HELP.

I WILL bring JUSTICE to any pothole criminal villains that do not SHOW A PROPER DUTY OF CARE.

HAS YOUR HONDA ACCORD BEEN THE VICTIM OF POTHOLES?
YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO CLAIM $$$$

Yours

(INTERNETLAWYERMAN QC: Ace Attorney, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 12:16, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What is a meat puppet?
Are there rules governing use of meat puppets?
Can I have one?

Answer these questions and get them added to FAQs. (Just so I don't look senile).

God Edit: We're cracking down on sockpuppet accounts as they're being abused recently.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:19, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One for all of you dolescum lazy cunts
www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/5760558/Jobcentre-advertises-TV-porn-job.html
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Tue 7 Jul 2009, 11:14, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)