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(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:03, Reply)

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(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:03, Reply)

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(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:03, Reply)

It's morning thread time bitches
I believe a picture this big is appropriate. Right?


(witchfinder general finding witches called richard, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 7:43, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Meh!
Alarm clocks should never go off at 3:45am. Ever.
Knackered and I've only been at work for an hour so far.

See you all for the commute into work!
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 6:14, Reply)

Now you know how I prefer to steer clear of controversial subjects, but I'd like to bring this to your attention...
in replies as it's a long 'un with line breaks
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 0:20, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I think someone ought to explain to Blaireau69
that the term "gay shift" is not some sort of thinly veiled implication that anyone on the board is actually a homosexual.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B3ta#The_gay_shift

It simply refers to the time of the thread she was talking about.

Nobody thinks your secretly gay. Nobody cares about you at all.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 23:23, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who do you think you are?
Well? Were your ancestors Kings of great nations, or intolerable knaves famed for rooting around the land? Perhaps you ancestors were knights who carved their way through the crusades, or Vikings who pillaged Europe. Maybe your forefathers made a discovery, or drew the first CDC. Tell us your past!

Bonus points for being interesting and/or funny.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 21:25, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all.


Today's sweet treat is chocolate chip meringues and there is a variety of tea on the trolley.
( Maladicta, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 19:52, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We're currently having one of our regular summer thunderstorms
here in Abroad. And though I have seen dozens, I can't help but stand with my nose against the glass like a mong going "ooh, lightning".

What is your childish fascination?
(ragged, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 19:48, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So the HSH threads are clearly scintillating then
A quick scan of the pages reveals a count of 2 replies for yesterday morning, 51 for the gay shift and 12 for this morning.

I think my work here is done.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 19:37, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

hello all.
Today I have caught my first perch and first roach on a nice fishing session in Cornwall.

what have you done today?
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Wed 15 Jul 2009, 18:45, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bomber is about to go into
surgery to remove some glass that's embedded under her paw :(
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 18:22, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Life for sale; one previous owner, sold as new, might have few scratches.
Has anyone on here done one of those "Fuck it, ebay it" things? I've decided to flog a ton of stuff I never use on ebay, i'll get it all cataloged this week and up on there next week.

I've also just brought a PS3 on ebay, then all I'm lackin' is a decent sound system and some laziboys for the set-up, and i've got A/V Heaven.

So, in honnor of this; "Do you play video games? If so, what ones are good these days?" with an alternative question of "What films blow you away with PEW PEW bits?"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 17:13, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Waiting for a friend in Waterloo
Two double-priced NINJA (fuck you eBay touts) tix in my wallet, soon to head to the O2 for the last NIN tour.

Ancrenne texts me to say her mate got her in for free. She's in soundcheck, watching NIN and Gary Numan play...

If she wasn't awesome my intense jealousy would manifest itself as the strap-on knife from Seven, and she'd receive an almighty spite-ravaging.

What have you lot been jealous of recently?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 16:58, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Booo! My cats knocked over a bottle of vodka
thus breaking the bottle and one of them also cut his little paw open in the process.
I now have to take her to the vet for stitches.
Poor little thing.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 16:29, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

seems like the board is slowing down this afternoon
what is your greatest ambition/dream?

I'd like to play with my band in front of thousands and have them shouting the words back as loud as the PA.

if you are in a pit of misery, with no dreams or ambitions, what would you like to be remembered for?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 15:18, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear Britain,
how would you like me to vote on The Lisbon Treaty, given...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8152099.stm

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:51, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Are we just posting wibble now?
smsjhshhjsh and then a CAT jumped out sjhfhbbs bsnss and I jumped in my accord wbbsbnsbnsbnbna nana A GIANT VAGINA! nsnabnsnbbnsbns going to the South pole he said jhedjebfnd but I was very, very drunk.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 14:34, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YOU CALL ME BLACK BASTARD
....then you are white fat fucking cow"

Was the shout, eyes popping out, turban fizzing. The object of his rage, a pasty, queasy looking she-ned who had been marinaded in cheap cider and left to bake under the midday sun, gleefully jumped to the challenge that the goggled eyed 'Spaki' had so charmingly laid down.

She pointed her tasteless face piercing into the prevailing wind, and charged. He on the other hand swiped a be-turbaned kick and she promptly assumed a prostrate position to wit a few kicks to the skull would not have went amiss. It was not to be however, she sprung back up as quickly as here kappa shod legs could muster.

"YOU CALL ME BLACK BASTARD, YOU FUCKING BITCH" - Yes pal, she did, now rise above and go away, she aint worth it. At this point my wife takes out her phone and wields it, weapon like, toward the unfolding shitstorm.

The Asian guy sees this and picks up his rottweiler pup and legs it, they, the she-neds that is, pick up on a new target, my wife. I'm not sure how close she came to being shoed, but, fortutiously, she was not. They huffed, puffed and gesticulated wildly...however, going to get their gaudy baubles and gew-gaws and of course, the small baby in the pram. They decide vacating the park was the best course of action. And so it was over. Bellahouston park, casual racial hatred, assault, threats of violence. All in a days work, and what caused it all? The guys pup went to lick a bottle belonging to the mewling crotch fruit.

True story, it only happened yesterday. Anyone else got any similar heartwarming tales?






"Hows my line breaks? Call 0845 653 9892 if you see anything that contravenes common sense."
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:58, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been quiet for a while so, have you missed me?
It's been observed that I've not posted on b3ta QOTW for a while (apart from the gym posts).

So, in the spirit of (my) outright vanity, have you missed me, not thought about me, are thrilled to see me post or not give a flying monkey turd?

Be nice as I'm pretty sure I'm about 3 steps from postal-like mental flip-outtage :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 13:16, 63 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Celeb Spots
The part of London i work in, I get used to seeing famous people around, and have perfected the art of feigning disinterest.

But I just saw someone that stopped me in my tracks until i realised I was gawping like a retarded guppy.

I just saw David Hasselhoff getting into a taxi on Harley Street.

David Hasselhoff...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:51, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Breaking News
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8144841.stm

"69% of people said it would be very damaging financially - for them or their household - if they were to lose their job. "

Really?
In other breaking news:
- Pope confirms he's catholic.
- Bear defecates in woodland location.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 12:29, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

check it
www.b3ta.com/links/Something_interesting_happens_in_cricket_match_shock
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:32, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

did anyone go to t in the park this year ?
if so what were your highlights or if you prefer who's tent would you most like to set fire to ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:27, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oi Flapheads
I didn't come in to work to actually fucking work - where's all the chit-chat?
What can we do to Kaol to make him more interesting?
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:04, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Khan vs Kotelnik
Your predictions?

I don't really care, I'm only really going for undercard but think Khan on points or KO in 11/12th round
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 11:03, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

how can I stop myself from looking at a website?
I fucking hate reading FML, it drives me insane and I end up arguing with stupid people about stupid things, and yet I can't stop myself from doing it...

edit: points to Al for a sensible solution that worked.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 10:40, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm off to see NIN/JA tonight at the O2
and don't have to worry about getting a train home as we have a room booked in a flea pit somewhere near Victoria tube station.

As such, can anyone recommend anywhere that's still going to be open for a few beers once the gig kicks out and we have made our way back across the city? We were thinking of hitting the Intrepid Fox as it's not far from where we're crashing but are generally open to suggestion!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 10:18, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear Bono
It's one thing that you haven't yet had the common decency to contract a horrible flesh eating virus on your many trips to third world countries, possibly also proving God does not exist, but now you have decided to not only rape my poor audio recepticals but also you are now shoving your hideous smug face in my eyes whilst wailing some lyrics so cheesy I actually feel the need to murder several kittens just to try and restore the balance of the universe.

It was bad enough that you demanded the iconic iPod adverts be changed so people could actually see your spunk guzzling cross eyed flesh bag you call your face, and you still insist on pumping out music more flacid than the pitiful flesh string you call your penis but this new advert must have been more satisfying than rolling around in your vat full of money whilst women wearing Bono masks try and massage some life in to your pathetic spam javelin. Not only do you get to sing what is quite possibly the worst U2 song I have heard since the last release, you also get to gurn your way through 30 seconds of pure Bono Ego Stroking.

I'll go crazy if I don't introduce your face to a very blunt object tonight.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Jul 2009, 9:39, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)