Important update
I've just done the last of the grouting. most of it has been cleaned and we can seal and put up the shower tomorrow.

floor will go down later this week/next weekend and photos will follow shortly after
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 18:56, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rude DIY
Having had lots of building work done in our pad, DG and myself have spent the last week cleaning up & decorating. And giggling.

I've been FILLING HOLES (pollyfilla smells of wee, or that might just be me). DG has been pasting the newly plastered walls with STICKY STUFF. Now we are painting the kitchen & bathroom ceilings with Dulux SOFT VANILLA EMULSION.

DG is having trouble with his roller - the END KEEPS COMING OFF. He says the pile is TOO LONG AND SHAGGY. A COUPLE OF STROKES AND IT'S DRYING UP....

Oh, and the paint is SPILLING OVER OUR KNUCKLES.

I've been texting this smut to chickenlady and PJM; fortunately for them my phone is GETTING LOW on credit so I'm inflicting it on you guys now...

*EDIT* I've just opened a BIG BOX of wine, only to find the INNER RECEPTICLE is not foil. It's a translucent plastic and looks exactly like a colostomy bag. Which makes me think of bottoms and poo, both of which are rude and funny :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 18:09, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well, just played a nice chilled out lunchtime pub set with my band
while consulting the diary for future engagements, the landlord informed us that he wanted to pay for us to have some time in a local studio, and that if possible he'd get a mate of his to engineer it.

a guy who is now retired, but used to produce AC/DC....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 17:01, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Afternoon All
Anyone about? Its awful quiet today...
Its sunday afternoon, and I've nowt to do but the this weeks Laundry. Ican't even make cakes and biscuits cos the oven seems to be broke and only goes on at gas mark 9. Anyone know anything about ovens? My landlord will be at least a week soting that out! :O

How is everyone/anyone?


*watches the lonely tumbleweed blow by...*
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 15:19, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Time - it's a bastard ain't it?
I've just been to get some provisions in for tonight. Walking around the aisles I noticed a familar looking person that it took me a while to place, then it smacked me in the face.

I had worked with her around 15 years back in the DSS. Back then she was petite and pretty, probably a perfect 10 figure; very easy on the eye and with a fairly hefty chest (but not too hefty).

Today, she was jowly, haggard-looking and her chest had expanded and relocated to somewhere around her burgeoning Pirelli factory.

Funnily enough, she didn't seem to recognise me (but then again, I am somewhat hairier and not as sylph like as I used to be myself either).

Ho-hum. This getting old lark is not all it's cracked up to be sometimes...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 14:28, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This QOTW has gotten too much for me.
Didn't want to spoil to the QOTW in the QOTW though so thought being a party pooper here would be more appropriate.

Broke up with my girlfriend on Tuesday. Absolutely thought she'd be the person I spent the rest of my life with.

The reason for our break up was that we need to spend more time concentrating on ourselves at the moment and we were starting to put strain on our relationship by not doing that. The last thing either of us wanted was to risk losing each other completely.

I'm really struggling to get to grips with the idea of just being friends even though I know it's for the best and is absolutely and completely necessary for both of our sakes.

The idea that things aren't going to work out in the future is incomprehensible to me at the moment yet I know I need to get it into my head that we're just friends (and I need to try and let go of the hope we'll get back together in the future even though I'm currently convinced we will) else I'll never achieve what I need to achieve and I'll also hinder her too.

I think what hurts so much is that this has nothing to do with how we feel or personal differences or anything like that. It's just a combination of both our personal crappy situations at the moment.

If she'd turned round and said she didn't feel the same way anymore this would be so much easier to deal with. I could just admit that my expectation of where our relationship would go were wrong and (with difficulty) move on. This is just a horrible head fuck.

Apologies for length, gloom and rambling. Just needed to express it in some form and I've already spoken to my good mates about it so don't want to become a bore to them.
( Captain V, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 12:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am working
:(
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 11:46, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kilt
In response to my post on QotW, some of you wanted to know what I look like in a kilt.

For the answer, see the replies.

The tartan's Henderson. I'm lucky to have a family with good tartans. Crap genes, but good tartans.


RIGHT: Off to Croatia for ten days now. Since the trip is funded by you, the taxpayer... ta!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 11:34, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ahahaa
my cat just fell over :)

What a 'tard.
(Mike_ss ARRRRRR (oooh) RRGGGHHHH, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 10:23, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

B3taday!
Wow! 3 Years I've officially been on here, plus a few more spent lurking!

Someone told me I get a dozen virgins on my 3rd B3taday, where can I find them? (Clue: I live in Essex, so I don't expect to find them nearby)

Oh, and morning all :)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Sun 31 Aug 2008, 10:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Ha first on here this morning....how fucking sad am I. *laughs*
Anyway got up at 8am, cleaned up some cat sick and what do I see on the telly.

The Highland games....lots of rather large and handsome men in kilts chucking things about and being generally macho.

Well it's cheered me up this morning, I can tell you.

I'm off to the gym now so ...... Woo for me!
( girlinthehole, Sun 31 Aug 2008, 8:56, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well good evening
Who else is a sad old fart like me and staying in tonight?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 30 Aug 2008, 19:34, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ning Nings All and Sundry!
How art thou on this fine morn?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 8:32, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

just a call from the singer in my band
we played a gig last friday in a pub, and the guy basically wants us to play the 5th, the 12th and every Friday in October

for £200 a time

this seems quite good, but I feel puzzled by it. We have about 40 original songs, but we basically have to play all of them to fill the time slot....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 20:05, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening
Well it's hotdog and chips night.
Some of my brownies were a little undercooked so I'm going to cover them in birds custard and have them as pudding.
And I got paid which I wasn't expecting to.
What good things have happened to you today?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 18:51, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just received this email...and I'm very tempted to reply, especially as there is a btconnect address....
Sgt Brian Bevan ([email protected])
Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
Sent: 29 August 2008 10:54:12
To:
Hello,

I'm in need of your assistance, Am Sgt. Brian Bevan with the Engineering unit here in Ba'qubah Iraq for the United States, we have about 9.5 million US dollars that we want to move out of the country.My partners and I need someone we can trust to actualize this venture.The money is from oil proceeds and is legal.

We are moving it by diplomatic means to your house directly or a safe and secured location of your choice using diplomatic courier services. Can we trust you? Once the funds gets to you, you take your 30% out and keep our own 70%. Your role is to find a safe place where the funds will be deliver.

Your buddy,
Sgt Brian Bevan
God Bless America!



Or should I just sign him up for the b3ta newsletter?

*EDIT* Just to make this clear, [email protected] is not my email address, neither do I know who this person is...they sent this to me randomly.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:43, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last of the Day, I Promise!
Chapter Four:

Stealin' Stones and Tryin' to Break Bones

In which Caramel Thorpe is hanging around, and an Old Man makes a proposition.

PREVIOUSLY:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:11, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is this normal?
Ok, so I've just got a message from my brother back home that one of our mutual friends was found under a train today.

My initial reaction to this news was disbelief since the lad in question always seemed to be rather resilient.

I ring my brother and it turns out that the lad split up with his fiancée a few days ago, went off to visit his Mum and then goes missing.

So I now believe the news, mainly because I could tell that my brother was getting pretty emotional (normally totally dispassionate) on the phone and that he's been called by a few people with the same news.

The thing is that I just don't seem to be feeling anything that I think I should feel. I've recently emigrated and don't really have anyone here to talk to about it, well no one who knew him anyway.

For reference, the guy was a good lad at heart but a bit socially awkward and competitive at times and some people found him hard to get on with after a while, me included. However, once I'd left to do my Ph.D. I'd have a good time with him during my infrequent visits back home.

I just don't know - anyone else received similar news and felt like it's just washing over you?
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:50, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Chapter 3 (or 2, depending on your viewpoint)
Is within the replies of this thread.

It is entitled: How To Get A Head In Clacton.

In which Clint Spark gets his big break, and then makes a discovery!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:50, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Unemployment sucks
I was made redundant six weeks ago now and I still can't find a job in the stupid industry I studied for four years to do.

I'm beginning to think I may as well throw in the towel and use this as a chance to start a career in something new and (dare I say it) fun, that otherwise I wouldn't have got a chance to try having previously been on the desk job gravy train.

Only problem is, apart from being a porn director or a Birds custard taster I can't think of anything.

Any of you weird, wonderful and diverse B3tards out there got any ideas?
(Errorist, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:30, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes it's sad .......
But the surveyor just got through valuing the house for the remortgage and has pegged it at £115K and as we paid £98K two years ago I'm fucking delighted.

I had visions of it hovering about the original purchase price - Granted I'm hardly Nicky Hoogstraten but that's really perked me up.

The credit crunch can suck a fart out of my arse!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:12, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

update
Following on from here www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post230294 I had a full tin of beans with my sausage and chips and today I am doing lots of warm farts.

Today is also babyspikeypickles 1st birthday so WHOO HOO for him :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:48, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Chapter 2
Or maybe 3, I'm not sure yet, of the blossoming novel lies herein...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:41, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick technical Question
Ok, don't laugh. This is probably really obvious to everyone bar me. Is there ANY possibility that leaving three computers to defragment after work could cause the electricity to blow a fuse? (We got our IT chap to show us yesterday and three out of the four ladies in my office decided we should do this)
But when we came in this morning the power was out. A fuse had blown. Manager reckons that three computers was too much, but surely not. right?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:41, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bloody new QOTW
it'll give some ok stories, but I've already posted mine twice. TWICE! Guilty Secrets and Dumped!

now it's on there for the third time, and stands even less chance of being properly appreciated than it did the last couple of times!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:21, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning all
Due to my brain/body still being royally messed up from my last set of nights I was up at 3am and have been watching American Dad while smoking furiously. Hardly the best preparation for the surveyor who's coming later on to revalue the house.

How are all you lovely people this glorious morning?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 6:14, 255 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's my b3ta birthday in a couple of days
and I'll be away all sodding weekend, unable to celebrate it. Please, raise a glass of gin/talisker for me.

Meh. How is everyone? I've got tomorrow off, getting the train up to Newcastle for a wedding. Which means a lie-in tomorrow morning!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 23:22, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ATTENTION!!
mr wheatley of b3ta fame's telly program The Wrong Door is starting on bbc3 in 2 minutes (10:30)

GO AND WATCH!
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 22:28, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

other things Spimf does not like about Dubai...
#000006
being too far away to come round there and give that Marlboro bint a clip round the ear

#000007
these cunts have no idea how to form a decent queue

#000008
haven't had a decent cup of tea in 6 weeks because the milk tastes funny
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 Aug 2008, 21:57, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)