Know any famous people?
After hearing about this I cringe, I actually know Michaele Salahi, not personally, but I know her enough to know she is a crazy bitch. She has given me copious amounts of her wine, which is total shit.

Alternatively, if you were to crash a celeb's bash, who would you pick?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:47, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This Christmas, forget about new electricals
Spend all your money on new-fangled foods instead.
Celebrate the fact that your new freezer is bigger than a breadbin.
In the run up to Christmas you have to come home and say "Ooh, I got us some of those new frozen oven chips thingies. And I tell you what, tomorrow I'm going to get some of that new Vienetta malarky. It looks delicious, and really posh. I bet posh people serve Viennetta off a platter. And while I'm at it I'll do my bit and buy that Band Aid single. I bet that Midge Ure gets a knighthood out of this."

If Christmas was still like this ^ I would weep tears of joy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:04, 86 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I need to buy a new TV
I currently have a 21" CRT job, which I would happily keep, but it is making a high pitched noise more and more often, and giving it a smack only works for so long...

Richer sounds have flat screens with a substantial amount of money off. The question is, do I buy now, after christmas in the sales, or when my TV actually dies?

I want to get the best bargain obviously
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 13:34, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Enough about you lot
I had a cracking weekend. Got bladdered on friday night with some good mates. Had a lie in, followed by an awesome fry up on saturday, then got some house stuff done. Quiet night in with the mrs. Sunday was another lie in, followed by an exciting afternoon of my band's CD launch party.

Was a great laugh, despite being half-cut from sloe gin before playing our second set.

what did you get up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:19, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I bought a Suzuki GSX-R 600 yesterday
And I can't tell you how excited I am about it! :D '02 plate, absolutally mint condition, £3,200. Awesome!

My first sports bike at 19 years old! Whoop! So far I've had a Honda XR125L (motocross style thing), a Honda XR400R (Supermoto/motocross)and a Suzuki GSF600S Bandit (streetfightered)

Have you made any purchases recently that you're incredibly excited about and what to share with us?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:04, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I has a candle : )
I've been here three years and it's been a roller coaster ride of laughter, sadness and sometimes shaking my fists at the internet but I've gained some friends, a greater lexicon of swear words and information on some sexual practices I have yet to attempt.

I love you all.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:30, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As I write I'm soaked right through, wrapped in a towel.
I've only just stopped shaking, and my hair stinks of seawater.
I've been trying to catch some pictures of the waves crashing over the sea wall where I live, only my crappy camera has a slight delay between squeezing the trigger and taking the pic so most of my pictures are of where waves used to be.
The last wave hit me full in the face so my camera may not live through the night.
Has anyone else done anything completely fucking retarded in the name of absolutely nothing lately?
Also: what's the best way to dry a pair of shoes?
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 2:37, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ok, which one of you lot was it?
Saw this outside the halls of residence at Toulouse. Made me giggle a little.

i50.tinypic.com/2ikcow7.jpg
( Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Mon 30 Nov 2009, 1:16, Reply)

are we still interested in worst towns?
I live here

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/6671012/Man-with-sexual-fetish-for-slurry-jailed.html
( Peej, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 19:29, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gosh it's quiet today.
What does a middle aged lady have to do to get some sapphic innuendo and breathless masturbatory replies around here?
( girlinthehole, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 19:24, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

hello offtopic
how are you today?
( well, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 14:46, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

@ spikeypickle
70's white dog poo - much has been said about chewing bones and calcium build up, not strictly true; dogs chew bones tend to get at the marrow - which if anything gives them the shits. the answer is much simpler; petfood manufacturers used to be able to include a percentage of fillers derived basically from chalk. when a log with a high concentration of fillers was laid just where you wanted to try out your new skateboard - the chalky deposits didn't decompose, they just dried out in the sun to leave a ghost poo. then european law changed to improve just what you could chuck in dog food and casper the friendly crap went into hiding. some oldschool owners still lob on a handfull of bonemeal on what they feed their dogs so the fabled moby shit can still be sighted on rare occasions

before you slit your wrists from boredom consider this, laws have been tightened up no so much that the 'meat' in your donner kebab is of a lower classification than dogmeat and that there are actually people who taste dogfood for a living

sorry to link you to the mail but it is true
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 12:49, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My wife has just bought a chandelier.
Not just any old thing. It's a wrought iron one with space for 9 candles (the smaller church candle size). I now realise she wants it installed in time for Xmas. This means taking up the secondary floor in the back bedroom, removing a square from the real floor, removing the electric fitting and installing supporting stuff. I will also need to put up a new ceiling rose or some such.

So. What have you bought recently that has either lead to greater expense or fuckloads more effort than you intended?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 29 Nov 2009, 12:29, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Un-batten the hatches and splice the mainbrace!

The floodwaters are receding.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 29 Nov 2009, 8:18, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tomorrow
I am going to a power kiting festival on a very very cold beach in St Andrews. What are you doing tomorrow?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sun 29 Nov 2009, 3:08, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How about this then?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cumbria/8384033.stm

I'm originally from Cumbria.

All that the stupid big eared cunt has done is walked about shaking peoples hands.

He owns a lot of land up there, which, I expect, is why he sympathises with the "Cumbrian Spirit", but he won't when their rent is due - tax-free to him, obviously.

He's also gone to the places that have got on National Telly. South Cumbria? No, not a word, despite the fact that it's been equally fucked.

Sending the jug-eared inadequate for a media fest is like sending a Bob the Builder puppet there. Can he fix it? Yes he fucking could by releasing some of OUR money to the relief fund.

This is close to my heart. These were my communities. You'll excuse me for being emotive.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 21:17, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Geek thread.
We managed to get on the Xbox 360 Natal beta test, and running it via a PC the the Playstation 3, got it working in Home.

90nz0.com/Netal-dance-beta-test.php
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 18:13, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Empire Strikes Back is on the telly
I'm about to make a hot chocolate with 100% chocolate (Peruvian or Venezuelan?) and tonight I'm off to see New Model Army.

Everyone else having a fun Saturday?

EDIT: I've opted for the Peruvian, with a small piece of blended Indonesian chocolate on the side.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 16:59, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wow
Just watched twilight with all my friends. Just wow. Probably like the best thing I've ever seen. It really touched me. I really felt what it must be like to be a 14 year old girl and in lust for the first time. I'm shaking.

Oh hang on, did I say "Just watched twilight"? What I meant to say is that I've just deliberately trapped my balls in a door hinge.

Sorry about that, carry on.

And I dont have the words for this: . It makes me want to slice my retinas out.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 16:26, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Trap Door
Just found Trap Door on one of the kids channels on Sky (Pop! Ch.616).

Have series linked it already...

(One of the benefits of having kids is that they're the perfect excuse to be able to watch Rainbow again!)
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 12:36, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dilemma (but not that difficult)
You walk up to a cashpoint, there's £50 in three notes sticking out of the cash slot and it's making that beeping noise. You didn't see anyone at the machine as you approached and noone is heading back towards it looking confused.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 12:15, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I got properly tanked up last night
now I get to reward myself with black pudding.

Huzzah!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 28 Nov 2009, 10:48, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Facebook
For some reason, FB has decided - I think - that it's going to keep every link I post and every status update secret from everyone else. And it's not letting me remove the secrecy, as far as I can tell.

Does anyone else have a little padlock icon next to all their updates? And does anyone know how I can get rid of it?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 19:27, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just eaten the first satsuma of the season. Happy Christmas everyone.
I've also bought a chocolate roulade cake for my sister and nephew when they visit tomorrow.

I know for a fact that I can leave it untouched till their arrival. Ok I had a piece but only because I really fancied some and not because I had to have some.

The amount of willpower I can muster sometimes scares me. I think I must be a genetic experiment gone wrong and then secretly given up for adoption.
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 17:51, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good news
I thought that I had to do a reception shift tonight.
I got up, was about to fly down the stairs, quickly double-checked the rota, and realised I'd made a mistake. That was last Friday.
I do not have to work on reception tonight!

Erm... what are you, like, relieved about yeah?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 17:14, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just been told by a colleague
that one of our clients is pregnant. My instinctive reply was "typical woman"

this made me laugh, and then cringe as you can't be sure of anyone's reaction these days. oh, the crazy times we are living in....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 16:31, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)