Hello there fan club!
DO you people think QOTW is above /LINKS?
One of you is going.

This is much better than having a group representing each board meet on World of Warcraft and asthma attack their way to victory.
Which now doesn't seem too bad an option now I see it written down.

Perhaps you reinforced virgins can put up a good fight. They say /LINKS have been talking themselves up, too.

As ever, I'll probably be blamed.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:35, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

God's hitlist
shelleytherepublican.com/blacklist

Well, I'm fucked then.
I'm sure I'll see most of you in hell. Especially if you're a bummer (She really doesn't like the gays)
( wanderlust, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:27, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I must point out that I found this by searching for the story
not while I was browsing The Star's website

www.thestar.co.uk/news/Sledge-death-jokes-anger-.4957736.jp

sickipedia is in the news
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:56, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ning feathermuckers!
The sun is sheeining here, and it's almost light when I get into work. I saw the first new shoots of the year last weekend... Spring is coming!

Oh, and CUNTYPOPS!


Today's thread sponsored by Tampax
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:04, 334 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Teenage woes part 2!
In a follow up to part one...

To everyone who said he's an immature little prick who's acting possessive.... You were right.

We were both at a party of a mutual friend last night, not completely ignoring each other, but not engaging in conversation either. That was fine. However, some of my friends like to smoke weed. Occasionally, so do I. The friends who do smoke weed are very very close friends of mine who I have been leaning on a lot this past couple of weeks, so when they decided to go upstairs and get the pipe going I followed them up.

This did not make him happy. He texts me (mm, mature of you) saying
"Weed? You disgust me. Grow a fucking spine. Don't text me"
According to a friend who tried to talk him out of this, he hates me and plans on never speaking to me again. Because I kissed a boy and had a bit of weed. I should point out that a lot of his friends smoke weed as well and he's never had a problem with it. It's an issue because it's me and he apparently still feels like he should be controlling my life.

Luckily, my friends are the best ever and are going out of their way to make things work for me. Nick is just going to be consigned to the immature douche pile.

Being 17 is a bit shit. Everyone around you acts like 17 year olds!

Now to resist sinking to his level and texting him back telling him what a cowardly little idiot he is....
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 2:37, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kaol Black: Episode 4 of "The Beast Of The Chignals"


Previously:


All previous stories are linked in my profile.
( Cawl, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 0:45, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bollocks
It looks like I'm car-less for the moment.

Stopped for a red light on my way home from work. The Volvo lorry behind me didn't...

Got to get it confirmed by the insurance co, but I reckon my car's almost certainly a write off. Words can't describe how utterly pissed off I am at the moment.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:37, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Politician in telling-truth shock
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7884131.stm

I love how it's news when a politician keeps a promise :)
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 17:54, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Krav Maga
Anyone done much of it before ? Anything good, bad or otherwise to say about it ?
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 17:50, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who wants to adopt a fluffeh kitteh?
img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/vet%20animals/gingerkitteh.jpg

He's all of the win :)

Been with us since Friday and no-one's claimed him yet :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 15:17, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Whats Germany Like?
I might be moving to Dusseldorf soon. Also can you hook me up with some hot woman. I don't know a soul there.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 15:05, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ah! The sweet irony.
I've just skinned up using a piece torn from the card of my local police station's "Drug liaison officer" as roach material.

I'm reeeeeeally going to savour this one.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:45, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Brought on by the current QOTW.
What type of drunk are you?


I tend to get silly, then horny and then at a certain point in the evening I decide I want to go home and disappear from the pub without telling a soul. I've had a few fraught friends call me the next day to ask where I got too. I've only ever been an angry drunk once in my life and that scared me. (Because of a guy obviously).
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:37, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

my toaster died last night
can anyone recommend one?

things I want from a toaster are:
1. to be able to fit any size slice of bread in
it
2. to produce good quality toast. it's got to have that good toast flavour to it, not just bread that's been heated until it's crispy.

if you don't know what I mean then get the fuck outta here!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:33, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Learning French
I'm planning to take an evening course in French but as it doesn't start again until September thought I'd try a CD based course to see if I can learn at least some French in the time I spend going to and from work.

First stop was linguaphone simply because I'd heard of them and heard a couple of good reports in the form of a friend of a friend learning language X with them. Their CD course is £100 so I'm looking at cheaper alternatives but don't really know what to look for.

Can anybody recommend a course or suggest what I should be looking for and what to avoid?

I'm not really interested in CD courses with accompanying books as I know I'll never do any of the work in the books.
( Captain V, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 13:10, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shit jokes.
Some of this week's QOTW entries made me wonder...

What's the shittest joke you've ever heard?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 9:41, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all


How are we all today??
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 8:19, 390 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Octuplet mom is now asking for donations
After all, she's unemployed, unmarried, not in a serious relationship and someone has to pay for the octuplets and the six children she had prior to that.....

Yes, it pisses me off. I get real angry reading about it. How the hell can ANYONE be so irresonpsible as to decide to have 14 children when they have no means of raising them. Grrrr!

Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of you are single parents, as was my mum (raised twins alone and worked her arse off for it) and I'm not railing on single parents, I'm railing on the sheer irresponsibility of this woman who thinks that public assistance (food stamps etc) doesn't count as "living off the State".
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 7:25, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

posting upthread for new venue for 21 Feb Bash
Interested B3tards will now be meeting up at the Yorkshire Grey. Calendar is updated with new info.
( cackers, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 1:21, Reply)

For all the whiney bitches...
in reply
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 22:37, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

For the first time this year
I was able to see some daylight on my cycleride home. At last, the dark days are coming to an end. This may inspire me to get to the office earlier so I can cycle home in daylight.

So what inspirational things have happened to you recently?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 18:59, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wanderlust
(the feeling, not the user)

I've been low for a few days, and to pick myself up I've got itchy feet for a hitch-hike this weekend. I live near Milton Keynes (concretecowsroundaboutsblahblahblah) and fancy hitching for four or five hours from early Saturday morning. It's been known for me to cover 250 miles in five hours on a good day.

I can afford a few pints to see the night through, a b&b, a nice walk or something in the morning then hitch home in time for tea on Sunday.

My question is... where should I go?

Edit: lusty - feel free to answer too :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:17, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just wasted an hour of life doing health and safety training.

Seriously what is wrong with people that they don't have the basic common sense to get through a day in the office without setting fire to their testicles?

Frankly if I want to sit contorted into a pretzel shape all day fucking my back I will, it's my spine and I'll do as I please with it, consequently I shouldn't be allowed to sue and then we can all get on with our lives like adults.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:12, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Platonic Valentine's Gift
I have a female friend who is a bit down at the moment, having lost a parent. She's unattached, and I know she's going to be alone on the 14th.

I would like to give/do something for her that says "I care about you as a friend" without in any way impying anything more, because I just don't want to go there.

As usual, I lack the empathatic gene that falls off when you get a Y chromosone, so I have no idea where to start. Suggestions please.
(ragged, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:03, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What would you do?
Call me a cunt if you like, but I did a line of ‘fixed odds’ football betting last weekend.

Hull’s draw with Chelsea has (along with the other results), given me a return of £357 from a £5 stake.

So, the question is, what do I spend about £150 on? The rest of the cash see’s me eating something other than value pasta until payday comes around next.

I’ve got no valentine, so the money is all mine to spend in a really flamboyant way.

Suggestions on a postcard to the usual address.

Mullered
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:11, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The morning looks a bit better than yesterday did.
Sorry for the bloggish-ness of this, but after yesterday's rant I thought I should balance things out a little.

After the blow of an unsuccessful job interview yesterday I went downtown to the R&D facility (which is where I was applying to) because one of the pieces of equipment we've been trying to improve had a part fail, resulting in it stopping working. I ended up getting out wrenches and dismantling the thing to remove a drive nut on an acme screw (de-RIS here, if you're interested), and found that it had worn so badly that the threads came out of the nut like a Slinky. Looks like I was right- we need to make one from Delrin rather than brass or bronze. Anyway, the guy I interviewed with saw me there with my arms up to the elbows in the machine and I explained to him exactly how the thing had failed- so hopefully I made a good impression.

I then went home, got cleaned up, and my three kids took me out to dinner here. As I sat there with my three teens, listening to them chat about their friends and their lives, I was struck by how well they're doing- they're all getting good grades, none of them are into drugs- not even pot- or alcohol, none of them are girl or boy crazy but have good relationships with the opposite sex, they all like having jobs and are responsible, none of them are rebelling against me or their mother... overall I'm extremely lucky. I'm very happy with all three of them.

The job will resolve somehow. I still draw a paycheck, I have someone coming to look over the house with an eye toward renting one of my rooms which will help with expenses, and things are really not that dire overall- I'm in a better situation than many are at this point.

So, sorry for the ranting yesterday. Things should get back to normal again soon.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:22, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

really long posts
Followed by a length joke really annoy me.

Grrrrr.
( rofl harris, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:13, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday was my daughters first birthday
She got a large ball pool and 700 shiny plastic balls. I spent most of the day lounging in the ball pool and intend to go straight back there after work today.

It made me think of all the supposed kids toys that are much more suited to adults.

Lego for example.

So B3tans with kids, which of their toys do you spend more time paying with than they do?
( Peej, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 12:10, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've often wondered
Why do people maul a loaf of bread, but then pick up a different one?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 11:48, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)