Hmmmm.
Go to www.thesaurus.com and give me the most obscure word that describes how you feel today. If you find one I've not heard before, you win. The prize is five ounces of my scorn, delivered directly to your eyes. If you can't find one, make one up. Or chat inane waffle as usual.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:06, 212 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've just had two pieces of toast
I'm feeling avaracious.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

have some inane chatter as well
on Kerrang radio they just did a fake advert that said "Facebook has now activated a setting that will make the earth hurtle directly into the sun. To change this setting, simply go to Account Settings, Earth's Trajectory and untick the box that says 'planetary sun poke'."

This amused me.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

bellicose
as befits a litigator
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

fine thanks

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

ha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

vacillating betwixt torpid and sanguine

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Bertolic.
Meaning to have been scorned by someone called Bert.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I slept fantastically well last night
And i'm feeling beatific today.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I'm never sure how to pronounce beatific
I could look it up, but eh, shitehawkery.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Why not ask someone else to look it up for you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

*waves*
Morning Jeff.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

*waves!*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

*white horses*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

*Crazy horses*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Toothy mormons

(Cave Duck, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I got a call the other day, a mate said to me
'They're going to make a film about the life of Marie Osmond'

I said, 'Warner Bros?'

He said, 'I already have'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

*SPANG*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

+LES

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Confusilicious
Yes, I made it up, but I think it adequately describes my mood.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Sideswipe
Due to me sending an electronic message to Rachel about a deceased Sex Pistol.
(Cave Duck, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Effete.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Your cunt appears to have gone missing...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Didn't think he deserved it.
Wasn't thinking straight. Bit like you!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Well,
hello...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

'ello me dearios
I'm faring well but appear to have cordwangled my bogling fork within an unfortunate moolie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Rambling Sid Rumpo FTW
I have a single and an LP, thanks to my dear brother (whom I have never fucked).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I should hope not
for that would make you gay AND a nonce.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

And we all know the only thing worse than a NONCE is a BUMNONCE.
(+1 if an immigrant or terrorist)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

It wouldn't make me a nonce - the cunt's a fortnight older than you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Well, bugger me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

No, I won't bum you either, sorry old bean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I'm actually quite glad about that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

DON'T HAVE NIGHTMARES.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Discombobulated.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I can imagine
A nice drink will clear your head.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Now I'm just feeling retardalicious

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

That explains everything.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Cheers

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Facebook told me it was my friend's birthday
and I thought he had the same birthday as my brother. I didn't actually look at the date, I just sent a text to my brother saying 'Happy Birthday', and he just replied saying 'It's not my birthday, you idiot'. Checked the date. He's right, it's not.

EDIT: It seems I'm not the only idiot. How do you tell someone that they're not invited to a party when you didn't even realise that they were planning on coming?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Kill them

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

But I like her!
Bah. I made an event on Facebook and left it public because I didn't know who people wanted to invite. Now a family friend has responded. She's not invited and I don't know how to tell her. :/
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Would it be such a tragedy if she went?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Yes
Anyway, I've sent her a message now. I feel like a bit of a cunt, but it would be worse if she came.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

To their face, with a sly grin.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'd have gone with, "with a look that you'd normally reserve for a child who you've just caught playing in dog faeces."

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I'm considering if my morals will stop me applying for a well paid job.
I think my laziness will cause more problems.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

You would make a shit prostitute chompy.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

And it's that specialisation that makes it so well paid.

(Cave Duck, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Also
it's a big step from raping to waiting to be asked how much you charge for a blowie. I think you have to go on a course first, and undergo a bit of CBT before they let you down the docks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

What's the moral issue?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

It's a trap, DG, A TRAP.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Going from NHS
to a company that makes money from paid SMS's like X-factor text votes competitions porn that sort of stuff.
They provide the infrastructure rather than actually running X-Factor, I'm not the devil.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

They provide a service people use and get paid for it.
I fail to see any issue with this.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Yeah, but it's the X Factor Noel...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

No it's not, it's a text-message infrastructure company.
They're bystanders in the evil genius empire of Cowell.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Better still, if he's involved with said infrastructure
He could use his charm and wit to sabotage the whole ghastly mong-parade that is the X-factor.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

charm fat wit rapey
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

You're worse than bert.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Result.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

They're eventually trying to turn mobile phones into a form of credit card
removing all the checks involved in getting a credit card.

I'm just a bit iffy about the company but the pay rise will be in the tens of thousands of pounds so I might just suck it up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Better than sucking it up.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Suck it up for a bit
stash a load away, then leave to start up your very own paperclip company like you've always wanted.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

*mental image of Scrooge McDuck in his basement throwing millions of golden paperclips into the air*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:39, Reply)

it's up to the individuals if they use the service
you should go for it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

oh yeah I meant to reply to that
the money does look sexy but the rest of the job looks really boring.

Alright, I'll admit it, I didn't read past "provide statistical..."
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

That's what I do anyway.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:40, Reply)

we dealt with getting one of those companies fined tens of thousands for sending unsolicited porno texts
and they couldn't pay it, went under. always check the stability of any new employer first.

doesn't mean you can't go for the interview though, any interview experience is never wasted in my opinion.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:44, Reply)

It's a multinational looks like at least 15 offices in America Europe and the middle east.
It's not a provider it's the people who run the messaging infrasturcture. So the actual servers and stuff not the things that go through it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

could be big business in future
might be a good move, given what may happen to the NHS
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

What will happen to the NHS
It's already starting. :(
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Yep
Emergency dentist has changed from being 5 days a week to 2, and it's now based in the middle of nowhere.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I hope they don't decide to totally change everything
that would be stupid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I got told the other day
that subject to being able to find someone internally to fill my post, I can take my voluntary redundancy. I am hoping this happens.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Hooray!
I know you've been trying for a redundancy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Still needs a few things sorted out though.
The figure I was given may not be the actual sum I receive; it depends on what happens with the superannuation bill. If I get what was projected, I'll go; if it's less, I'd have to think about it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Bollocksed.
It's probably not in there but I couldn't be bothered to look.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

our company has launched its new intranet today
the old one was shit admittedly, but on the new one we are expected to have our own profiles and it transpires are able to "add someone as a colleague"

they've tried to make our intranet into facebook. the stupid fucks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Jesus Christ.
That is beyond retarded.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

It really is
my main concern at the moment is that where I am on secondment the technology is pretty backwards so I can barely see the new company stuff, so if they do away with the old stuff then I won't be able to use webmail for my main email address.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I was called into my bosses office a few weeks back
He's signed the company up to LinkedIn, and I have had to make sure everyone has got a profile set up, and show anyone who is stuck what to do.

The site is shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

We, on the other hand, block the twat
anybody wanting to get to that site has to make a special application (ie get the Marketing boss to bully mine)
( Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Vipros likes 'Stealing pens' and 'Dropping a massive stinky shit in the girl's toilets in the upstairs office' on hisworkintranet.com

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Ha ha ha!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Happies

( jenpots, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:51, Reply)

*waves*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

*grins*
*waves*
( jenpots, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

*raises eyebrow*
*narrows eyes*
Alright? :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Aye, I'm grand.
I have a sick daughter at home, but she's flaked out on the sofa watching WallE.

How about yourself?
( jenpots, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Uncanny, mine's off with a nasty cold too.
I'm pretty fucking excellent actually!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Titivated

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:58, Reply)

after meeting Pam?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Nope, just because it's Chrimbo and I have a hangover

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:06, Reply)

arrrrrrgh my (admittedly normally amazing) boss has just pissed me off SO MUCH
i am about half a mm away from walking out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

What did you enter
Into www.thesaurus.com to come up with that?^
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I am esurient
and stuck on a phonecall.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

I'm feeling quite acapnotic
And have been for a while. Later I hope to be paizogonic, but not in the office!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

And my scorn goes to... LiC!
And a little respect actually. Damn.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Luciferous Logolepsy FTW

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Apparently I am
Woebegone.
I like that.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Sounds like an incantation. Or a Star Wars character.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

PROZAK ! AND THE WOE BE GONE

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

What happened to sexface then?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Donno, has anything happened?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

no idea bm keeps banging on about it
I thought it would be something you knew about.
He could just be going mental again.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Nah', he's doing great as far as I know, at least for the most part.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

I meant bm, not sexface

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Enervated.
I have carrots and chocolate milk, and I'm STAYING IN BED.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Jammy, I could right have done with a day in bed today.
Three day weekend, here I come!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Excellent on the weekend. I'm going home, I can't wait
I did get up and go to lectures/doctor today. Not entirely all in bed.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Phil, seats.
*Edit* Damn, b3ta is being really bloody slow today.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

It was fine until midday :(

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

It really, really is.
But the previous post didn't have "Not entirely all in bed" so not exactly great seats at the Phil.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Woo, going home, enjoy toots.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Thanks love.
Doing anything exciting with your time off?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Poppet's coming down and we've got all kinds of shit planned, should be a good one.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Aww, have fun!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)

You too.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Cherophobic.
All the 'wacky' types are arranging festive fun and I want to kill them.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:45, Reply)

I hate enforced festivities.
New Year's Eve can suck my balls 'n all.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

'Cake day' is the best idea so far.
Everyone is to bring a cake. Now I've got nothing against cake but how fucking sad is that? Other 'great' ideas include lunch at Wetherspoons, festive fancy dress and playing Xmas music.
Thank Satan I have my own office as I am feeling a tad 'stabby'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:58, Reply)

We're going to the German Market tonight
I'm only going as I love the food stalls, plus I doubt we'll be able to stay together.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

That I could cope with.
Update - Now the most deformed and desperate are hanging mistletoe in doorways. I need MDs.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Frankie Boyle's "Things you wouldn't want to hear at Christmas"
"It's not rape - look, mistletoe!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

that would drive me fucking mental
I like Christmas, but only on Christmas Day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I do love the Xmas season.
I'm just too selfish to share it with these twunts.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)

=/
fat dumb and happy =/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:50, Reply)

i have a question
but it's too whiny for its own, so i'll chuck it in here.

i have a friend who is great fun but dreadfully high maintenance. she could take offence at the queen's speech. usually i put up with it, but last week she went too far. during a text conversation, i mentioned that a family friend had died on my mum's anniversary. she had clearly forgotten, which is fine, but then said "how did you mark the anniversary?" so i told her what i was doing on different days with different people to mark it, and her response was... "whether you meant to or not, it sounds as if you are having a go at me for forgetting." this utterly incensed me - since when was my mum dying ALL ABOUT HER?????? i was so angry that i even deleted her from facebook, shock horror. i only ever cull people from fb if i never see or speak to them and so it's a bit pointless, i've never deleted a real friend before.

now she has sent me a group email about drinks and a christmas card, so she clearly feels a bit bad, but hasn't had the guts to say anything. so should i carry on shunning her, because i am still pretty disgusted, or grow up because we're not 13 any more?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 12:56, Reply)

You know, you could actually tell her what the problem is.

( Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

i did!
i sent her the harshest text i've ever sent anyone in my whole life telling her that i found her suggestion that i would use my mum just to make HER feel bad (to say nothing of the fact that i have absolutely no reason to make her feel bad, we were planning a night out ffs!) to be the most offensive thing she could have found to say. i never fall out with anyone normally, but this just wound me up beyond all belief.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:02, Reply)

And how did she reply to that particular text?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)

With a picture of her bumhole

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:06, Reply)

For quality control purposes
I'm going to need to see this picture.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Has she apologised to you?
And I mean actually said sorry, rather than just inviting you to some lame drinks event.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:05, Reply)

do you want to hang out with her any more?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:07, Reply)

^this
How close a friend was she?
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

yeah, because this incident may have just made you come to the conclusion that you don't need them in your life anymore
don't worry about shunning them, and don't worry about being immature or something.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)

this i think sadly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)

then don't feel guilty about it
she did something stupid, that has made you realise you don't need her around. You shouldn't need to defend or rationalise it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Fill your life with lovely low maintenance people like I do.
I can only think of one person that I've ever been friends with that was slightly problematic.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Stop shunning her.
She just sounds a bit shit and is now at a loss as how to put right this mistake that she is probably embarrassed about.

Have you told her how angry you are/were?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

see above...
it's normally impossible to upset me, but i'm a bit sensitive about my mum, esp on the anniversary!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Set her up with Bert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Well, we do all share a proportion of our genetic makeup with bananas or something.
So I suppose technically they are related...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Or just tell her to 'fuck off'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Shun her until she apologises properly
She sounds like a right cheb-end.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Stop saying Cheb!
To me, that means breast. So in essence, you're calling her friend a nipple.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)

I AM CALLING HER A NIPPLE
I know what I'm saying.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

That's a rubbish insult
There are far better ones!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Fine
She sounds like a fucking horrible cuntface of the highest order.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

That's better.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I'm glad you like it.
Seriously though, ditch the bitch.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Put her contact details on here
I'm sure one of the many perverts can set her straight.

In all reality, yes, she's a tool. But I don't think she meant to cause offence, she just sounds a bit of a retard. I've got a friend who is the same, I've just come to a point now where I'm brutally honest with her if she starts anything, maybe you could try that?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Turn up to the drinks
but throw a bucket of offal over her and storm out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Come on, this is rswipe we're talking about
She hasn't got the guts to do something like that.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

intestinalolz

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Particularly if it entrails violent confrontation.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

I bet she knows a man who has.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Something like "She's got the brains, he's got the Brawn?"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:16, Reply)

*sings*
Let's make lots of money!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

this is very good
even though Brawn is made from a pig's head
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I can't help feeling
everyone is making light(s) of my suggestion.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Tbh, after I said 'guts', I ran out of ideas, so had to stick offal into google, just so I could find something else!
Although I've now discovered something called Blood tongue, and I quite want to try it...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I shall look out for that at the German Market
it sounds nommy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Really does, doesn't it?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Talk to her.
People make mistakes, have bad days, make odd judgement calls. So have a word - there's good reasons you're friends. Either that or stab her in the face with a fork.
Noel would like to assure readers that stabbing people in the face is a bad thing.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Yeah there's not enough flesh and too much bone.
Go for the kidneys if you get both they'll probably die before the ambulance arives.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I am unslaked apparently.
So, Play.com, your 'delivery estimates' (or 'wild stab in the dark') has left me unslaked.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Anything exciting coming?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Christmas pressies for Flim, mainly.
So yes, there are some exciting things coming!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Have you got her Black Ops?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Haha, No.
I haven't bought it for myself either, yet. You never know what santa might stuff in my stocking.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I'm quite worried
I'll be ordering Goldeneye from them tomorrow, just hoping it will arrive for Christmas!

My brother's wife finally got back to me, he wants Goldeneye and a bottle of Jameson's. As this doesn't cover the entire budget, I'm also considering getting him some of this
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:22, Reply)

How many scovilles is that?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I don't know
but it's fucking hot. Really fucking hot. To the point where it isn't actually useful for anything other than pranks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)

We have lots of chilli-lols at work.
I'm sure I've seen hotter.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I bought this one a while back
www.chilliworld.com/SP6.asp?p_id=97

Stupidly hot, only bought it for a laugh
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:29, Reply)

80,000, so not as high as the really extreme ones, but hot enough to give a good kick

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)

yeah, that's not *that* hot

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)

My brother makes lots of big stews and chillis, so a drop or two of this would be perfect methinks

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:30, Reply)

yeah, we just wipe it on the edge of pint-pots.
I am yet to meet someone from round here who actually uses it to cook.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)

My friends decided it would be hilarious to put some on my lips while I was asleep
This happened 4 times in all, by different people. The final time I threatened to make the lad in question eat the entire fucking bottle, even if it killed him. It was in the bin 5 minutes later, enough was enough.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:35, Reply)

That's funny.
I'm going to do it to my mate Daffs when he inevitably ends up kipping on my sofa tonight. It's his birthday :)
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I like a bit of Dave's.
A woman I once worked with tried to 'burn off' a cold by eating a tablespoon of a very, very hot Chili Sauce. Minutes later, she threw up her stomach lining.

If you like good, independently produced chili sauces, these guys do some excellent ones: feel-the-burn.co.uk/
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Probably some spokey dokeys
for his massively gay new bike.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:18, Reply)

YOU FUCK OFF.
My new bike is MANLY and RUGGED. And very, very red.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Yeah, I noticed that...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Damn straight, G Dog.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:50, Reply)

ausgespielt
I've no idea how to put this into a sentence, but there you go.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Have you finished?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Defenestrated
Metaphorically of course, I work on the first floor
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Defenestration
used to mean putting out someone's eyes.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)

It means being thrown through a window ACKSHULLY
I thought you were supposed to be clever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I am clever
The eyes are the 'window to the soul' dickhead.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)

So according to you the etymology of the word is due to some spiritual bollocks
and nothing to do with the French and English languages' common Latin root for the word "window"?

Also, knowing the eyes are the window to the soul doesn't make you clever, I saw that on a poster for Killzone or something years ago
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:29, Reply)

It's everything to do with the etymology
and also everything to do with spiritual bollocks. People have been known to use words metaphorically, the two things are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Call the UN
They're missing a peacekeeper. In all seriousness that's quite interesting, I hadn't thought of it that way before
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)

You can't even provoke an argument on here without people getting pissy.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I think you'll find it was you who attempted to provoke an argument
Badly, I might add
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I know I did.
If you're so fucking clever, you provoke one.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)

The truly intelligent don't feel the need to engage in petty squabbling
I've no idea how this pertains to me, I just read it somewhere

(I'm calling you thick)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Well.
In other news, twitpic.com/3g3nhp this made me laugh. Discuss.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I assume this shop isn't in Tel-Aviv

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I hope not
But it would be brilliant if it was.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)

I'd suggest you go and take advantage of this gap in the marketplace
but I strongly believe you to eb far, far too lazy to do so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:55, Reply)

It would take a very motivated person
To go to Israel and set up a shop just for the sake of a joke.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:00, Reply)

He won the Weakest Link, you know.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I can say with absolute confidence
That this is the strongest contender for "post only one person clicks" in the history of B3ta.

*click*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:51, Reply)

And yet it's top of the motherfucking popular page.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Dec 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I got bored after about the second or third click
I'll go with dolorous.
(berk, Wed 15 Dec 2010, 13:38, Reply)