Yes, it's me again, sorry.
I am trying a novel approach here. I am trying to get Montstock 2011 together, but am struggling to get a date that people can agree on.

I'd like it to be on a Saturday as Tayyabs is almost unbearably busy on Fridays and I want to get leathered so a weekend is preferable. January 29th was shot down in flames within seconds of my suggesting it.

Despite my taking rather a dim view of democracy on the whole, I am asking you horrible cunts to sort it out amongst yourselves and to get back to me.

So, question: when should I book Tayyabs for?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:25, 96 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A time when I can get there

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:27, Reply)

You're welcome to stay at mine
If I'm welcome to come.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I might take you up on that
and I insist you come to Oxford soon
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Course you are, you great fool.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

♥
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I say the 27th. Maybe.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

That's a Thursday :/

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

yeah but on the 27th Noel and I are in London.
and we're ace enough to merit a thursday bash aren't we?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:39, Reply)

No

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:43, Reply)

fuck you and all of milton keynes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I HOPE YOUR WHOLE COUNTRY SINKS!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Ouch.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Charm and Wit Boycey, Charm and Wit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Shock and awe, more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I'm thinking more Arse and Shithead.
but y'know, he did just say he wants my whole country to sink.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

I like the Idea of an MK defence force
that blows the shit out of anyone that slightly insults MK.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

They'd be fucking busy...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

belated ha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)

...and the concrete cow you rode in on?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

this exactly.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Jan 29th, hook it on to Purplestock
It would mean having to do it in Derby instead though
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I'm not sure Tayyabs will be up for relocating to Derby, but I'll ask.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Do they deliver?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Nah, nee liver
Masala fish is good though

This "joke" has been brought to you in a Northern accent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

ha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I like this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Pol Pot died on April the 15th 1998
This year, that falls on a Friday.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:30, Reply)

That's not something to celebrate. Jeff.

RIP Pol you legend
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Jesus's fans make a massive deal of the day he died.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Wikipedia tells me that Hitler topped himself on the 30th of April.
This year, that falls on a Saturday.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:39, Reply)

5 days before I was born.
EDIT: Shit, that was meant to say 10 years and 5 days, but I'm a spaz who can't read.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

You're 12???
I fucking knew it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Shit.
That was wrong.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

April the 16th, of 1984 was the day Tommy Cooper died.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 18:05, Reply)

I'll be there whenever
I'm easier than... ... ... um Berts sister?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Fuck off Bert

(TheColonel, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:42, Reply)

How about Jan 22nd?
A Saturday and enough of a time from my start back at university that I'll move heaven and earth to get away
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I'm down with 22nd
Amberl, you and I will eat whatever the fuck we want. Normal service will recommence on Sunday. Unless I take you for pancakes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Mm Pancakes
and Snog can't be too bad can it?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Snog is low fat.
I guess granola and various fruits will make it ok. Unless I just have brownie chunks. Mmm brownie. Haven't been back since LAAK and Berk went. Saddest of sad times.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

snog is absolutely AMAZING i love it
i have had many a fine snog in soho, south ken and westfield in my time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Have you not been to the Covent Garden one?
I love the way they hire pretty boys to serve you. Delicious.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:56, Reply)

she's talking about kisses
you don't get them in Covent Garden
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

oh christ
if you're going to ask me to name every area of london i've snogged someone in....... er......

snog: order chocolate frozen yoghurt with the tiny white and dark chocolate heart sprinkles, the granola and the mini oreo cookies. then orgasm on the spot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I had white chocolate stars, oreo cookies and strawberries
with the usual yoghurt last time
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

I have standard, with strawberries, granola and brownie.
REplace granola with the dark chocolate hearts if feeling naughty.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

No, but you can get a blowie in Soho
/crude
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Bugger off with the granola
I will get a small one. Both times I've gone I've only eaten half of it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

The granola is superb
Keep meaning to try the green tea one, but no idea what to eat it with.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Please stop talking about fucking granola
in my Tayyabs thread. It's sacrilege.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Sorry love.
You can feed me meat this time. Though I do not guarantee I won't have my face stuck in the daal though.

Oh, I have daal. I might have some.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

I will starve myself beforehand
in order to do it justice
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I might start preparing now
Looking at an MandS meal plan, they're getting by on 1000 calories, for 4 weeks. Tempting...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I actually have a goal now
1st July I want to have lost at least two stone for this ball
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I maintain that you don't need to
but I have a rather gorgeous dress you can borrow if you like. I don't know whether it will still fit you if you lose 2 stone though!
EDIT - I guess jogging is out with your feet, but buy a cheap second hand bike and start cycling places - weight will fall off.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

That's very kind of you
what's it like?

Sadly I can't cycle either because I can't feel my feet so if I don't look down they get tangled in the pedals. I'm taking the gym back up again though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I can manage this
someone will have to offer me floorspace for the night though as I will be skinted to buggery from buying meat and booze.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Direct bus from mine to Tayyabs
Well, fairly direct, no more than a 5 minute walk. It's bring your own booze.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Score!
I will still be skint though. And that's very kind, thank you very much. You will be repaid in cake or healthy snack of your choice.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

if you can keep a secret (this thread will self-destruct etc)
i heard that mr tayyab is opening a second restaurant
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

This doesn't surprise me.
They have extended their current premises five times since I started going.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Yes, but I thought that was just so they could fit in a table long enough to accomodate your order?
_{...and Al's arse.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

is that so they can fit the ever-increasing Al in there?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

He's still stuck in there from last time.
They're going to have to knock a wall down to get him out. Jerry Springer will be there to perform an interview with the fat, sweaty, remorseful Faux Geordie, when they wheel him out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

that explains why he hasn't been around today
he probably dropped his iphone in a fold of gut and can't access it while trapped betwixt two tables.

once again I apologise for not being able to make it to Tayyabs. One day!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

You will fucking love it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Long as you organise trip another around 2nd July, I don't mind!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:35, Reply)

oh tayyabs looks nice

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:35, Reply)

It's fucking stupendous, Kristine.
Stupendous. I've been going there for a good 12 years now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:46, Reply)

15th or 22nd Jan
19th Feb, 12th or 26th March.
Or if it does go on a week night, I can probably make it down.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:36, Reply)

yes, 19th feb
the day after my birthday
you all can celebrate
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

also it's half term

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

The main drawback to the 22nd is that I can't make that. And that wouldn't do now, would it?
Personally I fail to see what's wrong with the 29th myself; the 15th I'm pretty sure I could do, or if we have to push it back further then the 5th of Feb and indeed most subsequent Saturdays look to be clear.

(I made a point of sorting out my diary this afternoon so I actually have a vague notion of what the jolly-rogering-fuck is going on for once.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Can you really not make the 22nd?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

Sort your life out man
surely coming for a curry with weirdos from the internet is more important than ANYTHING ELSE your social life could have to offer?
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I tried to sort it out this afternoon. And it clashed with everyone else's...
Admittedly going for a curry with my favourite internet weirdos does seem kind of preferable to the gig I'd agreed to go and see.

If you all have your hearts set on the 22nd then I might acquiesce.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:57, Reply)

So it's looking like the 22nd so far.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

You're going about this all wrong
say "I'm going to Tayyabs on Sat the whatever of whatever and you're welcome to come. If you don't, fuck you".

Benign dictatorship is the only way to go.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I couldn't agree more
but sadly two key attendees objected within ten seconds when I tried it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

What you're dealing with here
is crowd inertia. The more people you're dealing with, the less likely it is that anything is going to happen.
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I might go there on my own for lunch on Saturday.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

At least you can guarantee that everybody important will be free on that date

( Kroney, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Innit blud.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

I was whining to beckyjsbx
the other day about not having gone there yet, so perfect opportunity
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Well rather than asking people what date they can/can't do.
Why not post the names of people who can't make particular dates, than way, people will opt to dine with their favourites.

It'll be like the X Factor, but without phone voting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

But every inch as shit
don't give people a choice and roundly mock them when they can't make it. Be a man!
( Kroney, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Is it near the NHM?
Because I'm going there on Saturday and I want to try this legendary tayyabs you WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Near the fucking what?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

The Natural History Musem
Other side of central London, Badger.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)

Monty! Your troubles could be over!
Vaccine for Cocaine Addiction could be on horizon
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

What is Montstock?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

It's like Moatstock but with less fried chicken and gun wounds, more dry meat and 70's roadie.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

It's basically Woodstock for the NOW generation.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Count me in
if I have a job by then!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I'm free that weekend (29th)
So I'm voting for that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)