Good day to you all.
I see Gary Moore has died. I also see that I don't give a toss about this. I have nothing especially negative to say about the tedious, pug-faced Padraig 'axeman', but it reminded me of one of the biggest loads of bollocks of all time - 'don't speak ill of the dead'. Why the fuck not? A cunt who has died is just the same cunt, but mercifully, now dead.

What other commonplace phrases or practices are blatantly fucking ridiculous? NB astrology is so utterly 'medieval peasant' that there's no point in even mentioning it.

If this seems a bit too much like hard work for you at this time on a Monday: Alt: Did we all have nommy weekends? Do tell. I am simply desperate to hear all about it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:31, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I nommed some roast pork on sunday night
and on saturday I nommed some lamb and two bottles of red wine and then had a little sick
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)

You fucking lightweight*
*not literally, you fat cunt.

Last night I nommed chilli squid followed by char-grilled pork with rice vermicelli. I have found the best Vietnamese restaurant in Shoreditch (from a choice of at least 20). I am considering a shock development of perhaps having a B3ta meal there next time, as opposed to Tayyab's. It's BYO which helps with the bill too, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:45, Reply)

I'm always up for some south east asian cuisine

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:53, Reply)

This place is fucking great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Long as this isn't when I'm there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'd enjoy Vietnamese food, but I'm already looking forward to Tayyab's.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I dreamed I was tayyabs last night
And was crushingly disappointed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I dreamt I could see my feet last night
and I too was crushingly disappointed.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)

You dreamt you were Tayyab's? You weird cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:06, Reply)

he means he dreamt he had al inside him

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

In tayyabs. I meant in.
Bloody phone and my bleary eyes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I'd normally say something along the lines of grieving a famous person as if you knew them, and how retarded that is.
But I was fucking gutted when Dimebag Darrell and Humphrey Lyttleton died, so that'd be quite hypocritical of me.

How about insulting the police? That's pretty commonplace, and mostly retarded. Yes, officers themselves have made mistakes in their time, but that give no reason for anyone to tar them with the same bunch. I've heard before from people 'all the ones I've met have been cunts'. Now, I'll place bets you've not simply met them in the street, and they've told you to fuck off. It's likely you've either gained their attention, or possibly you've been in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Alt: Pretty dull weekend tbh, spent Friday night being the representative of man for my friend who had just been cheated on, that was fun! What was even less fun was finding out she'd already gone back to him by the time I woke up the next day. She's such a fucking idiot. I'm quite worried she's only one step away from 'walking into a door', if you get my meaning.

Saturday and Sunday just watched TV, and caught up with various series. Although I did enjoy the football yesterday, but as you will all likely point out, it's gay, etc. To each their own.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Do any of your friends not have "issues"?

When I was kidnapped by a crack addict the police were marvelous.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:51, Reply)

But you still ended up married?
crackaddictwifeLoLZ!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Majority of them don't, no
But they don't produce stories worth telling, aside from 'We got pissed'.

Let's see, we've got 'Fake Suicide girl', 'Girl whose suicide was faked by someone else', and 'Retard who can't see that her boyfriend is a cunt'.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:53, Reply)

re. the police thing...
Woop! Woop!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Oh boy
that sounds like the most groundbreaking musical genre since jazz.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:56, Reply)

yes indeed

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:57, Reply)

My mother cried when John Lennon carked it.
My dad was upset when Bob Marley died.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)

How about you, has there been anyone who died, and ruined your day?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Only some cunt who threw themselves under the train Monty was about to catch.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:05, Reply)

Not that I can think of, no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

As far as I can tell, it's only been those two for me.
One was the guitarist from my favourite band, the other presented ISIHAC, so I was gutted about both.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I spent the weekend in a shepherds wooden caravan
reading, drinking Sloe Gin and keeping the wood burner alive.

On Saturday I nommed the best Pork belly I've had in years.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Was it your wife?
FatwifeLoLZ!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I hate the more or less exclusively.online thing
Where the opposite of sycophancy is considered to be trolling.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Fuck off Bert

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 8:59, Reply)

That's my first FOB.
I feel warm and moist inside.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Fuck off Bert's sister

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:08, Reply)

LONG LOST HALF SISTER.
Which of course makes it all perfectly normal.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I cannot believe you posted this. You are worse than Hitler.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Yeah well if you can't do any better then don't say anything at all.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

sycophant |ˈsikəfənt; -ˌfant|
noun
a person who acts obsequiously toward someone in order to gain advantage; a servile flatterer.
DERIVATIVES
sycophancy |-fənsē; -ˌfansē| noun
sycophantic |ˌsikəˈfantik| adjective
sycophantically |ˌsikəˈfantik(ə)lē| adverb
ORIGIN mid 16th cent. (denoting an informer): from French sycophante, or via Latin from Greek sukophantēs ‘informer,’ from sukon ‘fig’ + phainein ‘to show’ ; the association with informing against the illegal exportation of figs from ancient Athens (recorded by Plutarch) is not substantiated.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Just, you know, 'cus I doubt I'm the only one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:21, Reply)

In Ancient Athens
'sycophants' were professional informers who grassed people up for 'undemocratic activity', they were the bane of the later democratic period.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Your face is the bane of the later democratic period.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

No, his mum was the bane of the late democratic period.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

If you study the texts of the time, it's quite clear that
His mum's face was the bane of the late democratic period.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Contradicting yourself in politics?
You are Nick Clegg AICMFP
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:43, Reply)

'later' and 'late'
Can describe two different democratic periods.
*Politicians, and takes back the fiver, plus tax and expenses*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Damnation.
I will say though, aside from those protests being fuck all use, they did provide me with one good laugh - this kid was genius
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I liked Gary Moore until I went to see him.
The support act was better. Speaking ill of the dead is one of my favourite pastimes. That Jane Austen was a cunt, and so was the last pope.

I think practioners of pseudo science should absolutley have to live by their own credo. You want to know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow? Throw some fucking stones on the ground and find out yourself you cunt, don't listen to the radio, with their radar and weathership mumbo jumbo. etc.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:03, Reply)

See also: Animal Testing Is Bad.
Oh really? So you're rejecting ALL OF MODERN MEDICINE on ethical grounds then? Oh, apart from your flavour-of-the-month antidepressants, of course, I understand.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I hate cunts that say all animal testing is evil
Nothing funnier than seeing a labrador whacked out of his gourd on meth.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:29, Reply)

with half his skull off, brain full of wires, and a student driving him around with an X-box controller.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

That would be quite funny
I accept this is not the majority view
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Oh man I'd love to try that!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I fucking love you, man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Wookiee is my favourite.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I don't know who Gary Moore is
Alt: Why thank you for asking. My weekend was okay thanks. Could've been better.

Oh and homeopathy. Like astrology only a step away from medieval peasant. Herbal cures, placebos, gullible serfs taken in by the local witch-doctor type
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:05, Reply)

You mean you don't know who Gary Moorw was.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:07, Reply)

That as well

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I myself don't know who 'Gary Moorw' was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Homeopathy can get tae fuck
Dangerous snake oil peddling scumcunts.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Much more succinct

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

some herbal stuff works though.
homeopathy and herbal remedies aren't synonymous.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

This weekend I worked then slept a lot
Then on Sunday watched four films. Yes Monty I'm sure they are all shit films.

Tron - awesome
RED - ok, some explosions and stuff
Pineapple Express - some laugh out loud moments and James Franco still managing to look pretty hot
Toy Story 3 - Possibly the best of the Tot Story series! Would recommend A+++++ awesomezlolz
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Toy Story 3 is brilliant
I can trash you in the shit film stakes though :( I watched Highlander
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Highlander is MAGNIFICENT.
'Are you cruising for a piece of ass?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

One of the greatest films of the eighties
"Scottish Spanish Peacock"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

It has some of the best quotes ever
'I peed my kilt the first time I went into battle'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I fear I win, as there was shit all on last night and I wasn't sleepy.
Chain Reaction.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

A rare example of being a winner, and yet a loser at the same time

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Pretty much.
On the bright side, Rachael Weisz.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Oof, would.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I really should watch that at some point.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Pineapple Express is appalling. Oh man, it's a 'crazy stoner comedy!'. Oh man indeed.
Toy Story 3* I thought was OK. Now I have a legitimate excuse to watch children's films I rather enjoy them.



*I bet it's better than 'Tot Story 3' that you watched, which sounds suspiciously like child porn.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Paedololz
's films
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Anything under the banner of Judd Apatow is shit
no wonder it's referred to as a stable
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:31, Reply)

According to the list on wikipedia, it would seem I've seen 3 of the films he's been involved with.
I feel unclean now...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

I shall insist only the films I watch from now have MASSIVE DRUGS in them
*queues up Fear and Loathing and Blow*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Lord Of War has quite a bit in

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I was thinking that
And Scarface.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Requiem for a Dream of course

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Christ, what a dull, depressing film.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I thought it was good
Plus it had Jennifer Connelly and Jared Leto in it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

And a double ended dildo. I remember the last time I had to use one of those, not fun.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

"ASS TO ASS!"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

"I know it's pretty, but I didn't take it out for air"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

'they faced each other'

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

this post worries me

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Why, are you interested in the circumstances too?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Monty makes me do some terrible things :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

it is the most depressing film ever.
it's not bad, but it's fucking miserable.

I've only watched it once, and don't intend to again.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

The Road is just as depressing

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

so's your face

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I thoroughly enjoyed RED, thought it was ace.
Not seen any of the other 3 though, and have no intention of ever watching Pineapple Express, it just doesn't interest me at all.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:23, Reply)

It is poorer than Bangladesh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I watched 'Easy A'
Which is good as it has Emma Stone in it, but bad for every other possible reason
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:31, Reply)

The synopsis of that sounds fucking awful.
And also a lot like most of /QOTW
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I watched the Green Hornet.
It wasn't worth it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I watched Inception
I can see why it made my halfwit co-worker's brain hurt, but I think I managed to keep up with what was going on.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I think anything superstitious is complete bollocks
Saluting magpies, walking under ladders (I dont do this for practical reasons of things dropping on me), number 12 - all total wank

Alt A:
Yes, a nommy weekend was had big style. Out from work on Friday night, many beers and £100 up on my first casino visit. Saturday was on Dad duties all day and the kids were really well behaved, followed by a good bottle of red on the Saturday night. 4th birthday party on Sunday to attend, chicken roast dinner and a fabulous pizza to end the evening.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Don't you like Stevie Wonder?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Nope
The writing was on the wall for Cap. Blind a long time ago
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I seem to have developed
Some sort of pavlovian response to Magpies, which disappoints me massively.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:25, Reply)

If it's a Lord's Prayer wank, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

But of course...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Best of all the wanks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Do Tarot cards count as superstition?
Load of shite that they are, I mean.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:28, Reply)

No, they count as part of the fundamental physics that underpins our entire Uiverse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Morning all
The one I hate the most is "life's too short". Is it really? Compared to what, exactly? Life is the longest thing any of us will ever know. Compared to the history of time itself, a life is obviously a drop in the ocean, but what concept do any of us have of a period of that length?

The other one is "schooldays are the best days of your lives". If I'd believed that at any point during my teens I'd have topped myself.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:31, Reply)

That's because you haven't seen my cock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)

POTD
It's early days yet. Don't get cocky (seewhatIdidthere)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I don't think I've ever met anyone
who believes in the schooldays are the best line though. I'm pretty sure that comes from an earlier age.

And quite frankly when I read E.F. Benson, I think that if I'd been born in his era (and male obviously) I'd have quite liked school as well.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I liked my school days
Now I have to go creeping around parks in the dead of night for a bum raping.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:34, Reply)

You're probably right
I still remember being told it when I was about 8 and thinking "You mean it gets WORSE?!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Did you work in an ice cream van in your teens?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I assume this is a topping pun
C-. Can and should do better
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Compared 'with' what, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:36, Reply)

You're quite right of course
I shan't attempt to cover up my error with an edit (too lazy. No coffee as yet).
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I'm on a enforced no caffiene diet.
Not by choice, but fuck me it's depressing. Made worse by the fact I've not been to bed before 2 for the last 9 days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)

That sounds horrific
If I'd had to go caffeine-free yesterday I might have actually died. ACTUALLY. What's brought this on?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Caffiene costs loads of money, except for in tea/coffee
And I have so little milk in my tea, there's no point in ever buying it, because it'll always go off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)

You can drink black tea
I mean, it's rank, but needs must when the devil vomites into your kettle
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I'd rather go without it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

You can only drink black tea when it's Earl Grey, and even then milk is sometimes permissible in it.
Word of law. Never sugar.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I don't like tea in any form
so am happy to defer to your verdict on this matter. Knowing this sort of tea-related etiquette may come in handy one day.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Actually, my statement is completely incorrect.
I think there are different types where it's more likely to drink black- like Lady Grey (strong citrus flavour) and other particular types.

I find it inconceivable that you don't like tea, but I am the girl who drank 60 cups when home over Christmas.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Was that a target, or did you just drink your way through a box?
Whenever I'm hungover at one friends house, we'll always start the day with marmite on toast, and a brew. After that, the brews are non-stop, until we're vibrating from the caffiene (and sugar).

I need one of those days soon, not had any tea in over a month.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

milk in Earl Grey?
What lies is this?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I noticed that, isn't it meant to be lemon?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

It is well-documented that I am made of wrong.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

this is true
You evil genius. Mind you I just almost climbed out of my window to avoid my scout
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

What would they have done?
I had a dream a cleaner tried to clean my room. It didn't go well and they were chasing after me trying to charge me £50 for something I would say that I'd do but wouldn't.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

she keeps asking
To be allowed to clean my bedroom. It sounds stupid but I still get a bit suspicious of her.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Hmm.
Just claim you're very very private. How messy is your bedroom?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I've just cleaned both my rooms
It's just how messy my room is, is usually a direct indicator of my health (when I'm ill I have zero energy) , and up to my second year I suspect the chaplain still asked the cleaner how bad it was.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

My room is always messy.
Seriously messy.

At least I no longer have to keep food in it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

washing up is the bane of my life
Thank god for plastic plates and cheap mugs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Charms cleaned the kitchen while I was out on Saturday.
Keep meaning to thank her.

THANK YOU CHARMONSTER
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I've arrived to late to get properly involved in this thread.
Can you all just insult yourselves please.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Shut it, rapey.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

That sort of thing, but smarter and funnier.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)

You arrived to late what?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Too late to act so vastly superiour in your direction for your Tot Story typo.
Man that would have made my day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Superiour?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

It's the illiterate leading the illiterate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Glass Houses, 'Tot Story', glass houses....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I just had around 11 hours sleep.
I probably could sleep some more.

I had a fucking lovely weekend. Breakfast with my sister, fuckloads of booze and a hangover feast with my best friend. Apart from feeling horribly sick on Sunday.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Feeling sick after hangover food should be outlawed
I once threw up steak, not fucking pleasant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

There's a lesson here about chewing your food

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:57, Reply)

I managed to keep everything down.
I once threw up my food in reverse order, and since it was very recently eaten (I was ill) I could taste each separate layer.

If you're interested, cup of tea, strawberries and tomato soup with cheese.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Tomato soup with Cheese?
This both sickens, and intrigues me...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Best fucking thing ever.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Agreed
Heinz tomato soup with small chunks of cheddar chucked in. Fucking NOM.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Shall have to keep this in mind...
Although I'm yet to find a better thing than warm, crusty bread to go with tomato and basil soup.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

-shakes hand-
You know the score.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

French onion soup with brie in it is good.
Hello my child. Would you like to come to mine for dinner any time soon?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Yes! I would love to. This week is a little busy, I go to Ireland on Thursday and I have possible plans for Sunday.
But the week after is free and open until the weekend. Let me know :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

and then drunken times with me

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Grand.
I shall confer with Lusters (who is also busy all this week so nae bother there, pal) and we'll get it together.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Best parents ever.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Firm but fair, we hope.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1069977
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

i was thinking about you two on the tube this morning
because the moonpig advert has a card that announces on the front "lusty love letters exposed!"

i felt fairly sure that she wouldn't like this in real life!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

*makes a panicked call to Moonpig about what I sold them*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

It came up like sludge.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

hello darling
prob the most tedious and ridiculous phrase which i suffered many times this morning is "this train is being held here to even out the gaps in the service. we will be on the move shortly." irritating AND untruthful.

awesome weekend for me, apart from an unbearable amount of stress on friday night caused by couriers who are (i) stupid and (ii) can't speak any english so only my being on the phone yelling and staying sober in case i had to do it myself whilst my friends were happily getting twatted saved a massive negligence issue. but sat and sun totally made up for it, esp as we spent the whole of sun lounging around a spa having facials and massages and too much food.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

That sounds good.
Especially the bit about you and your friends having 'facials' round the back of the local Spar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I expected the 'facials' bit, 0 points
You do get some points for "Spar" though. Well done.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

She didn't
Her eyelids are still sticking when she blinks.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

That's why you see women protecting their eyes with cucumber slice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

hahaha!
I always wondered!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Fucking traffic cunts
SEVENTY MINUTES my 20 minute commute took. Goddamn A45, locked solid thanks to a poxy set of temporary traffic lights.

Hooray for Google Maps on my phone, for allowing me to avoid some of the worst of it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

All traffic lights should be replaced with traffic cunts
closed means stopped, open for go. Amber would be replaced with a bumhole
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Hey - she's alright! You take that back!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

*takes back*
*slips digit on way through*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Smooth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I watched Franklyn.
Weird but not too bad. Telegraphed itself a bit.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)