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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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bored of that
So I have an exciting weekend planned. DO YOU?!?!?!?! Although I have to spend time with people like Wooks which will probably suck.

Non weekend Alt Q: If you could be a character in a film who would you be? I'd quite like to be Jaws (the Bond baddie not the shark) *nom nom nom*
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:28, 228 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
If I ever grow up and have kids
I want to be just like Liam Neeson in Taken.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)
ugh why would you have kids?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
^This

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
I don't want them
I just want to be an utter badass like Liam Neeson in Taken.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
Do you not need a question before you get to have an alternative question?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)
"So I have an exciting weekend planned. DO YOU?!?!?!?! "
I thought she included enough question marks to highlight the question.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
That was added as a sneaky edit.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)
It's not really an Alt q if there isn't an original q

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
whatevs rapey sleep watcher

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)
I got away lightly with a similar comment.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
She's got you on ignore.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
*crosses fingers*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
The question is
'do you have an exciting weekend planned?' It's quite clear
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Oh how silly of me, I must have misread it.
Yes I do, well saturday the rest isn't that exciting.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)
What time are you arriving/leaving?
That way I'll try and time it so we're not too far from ports of travel.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

not
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
When ever really the X5 runs every half hour
but I was thinking 3-3:30
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
We won't really have kicked off by that point
5.30-6.00 seems to be the start time.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)
But I know oxford well so there's no need to come find me or anything.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Yes I do have an exciting weekend planned
but I hear I have to be nice to some person called TGB :(

Alt: Batman
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Dark and broody Batman, or nipple-suit Batman?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Dark and broody Batman of course
though I'll be someone off Inception for the chance to play around in dreams
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

in dreams with Joseph Gorden-Levitt
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)
How did you know? :(

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I don't know many girls who wouldn't molesterise him given half a chance

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
true
he is ridiculously hot
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)
I've never watched the Val Kilmer or George Clooney incarnations
I think it's better if I don't.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Have you seen the Bale ones then?
with THE BATMAN VOICE
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
You've brought back memories
Of when I imagined him using that voice all the time.
"YES, THAT'S IT, WORK THE SHAFT."
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Adam West is the only real Batman.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)
He's brilliant in Family Guy

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)
They're stealing my water!

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I have and that voice really grates
luckily he doesn't have to use it that often. Bale's american accent is fine but that voice doesn't fit that body. Hugh Laurie's accent in House annoys me though, everyone else says it's brilliant but for some reason it gets on my nerves.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)
House doesn't sound like any American I've ever met or heard speak.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)
but hugh laurie
is pant-dampeningly hot.

flatmate and i were watching that fry & laurie thing reunited the other night, and i couldn't stop swooning. she didn't get it at all. but what does she know - her bf is bald AND ginger. nature's double whammy!
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)
You mean the hair he hasn't got is red?
How does that work?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)
back hair

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)
he's half-fox, half bald-eagle

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)
it is called a BEARD
maybe you'll grow one, one day when your balls have dropped and you stop cooking dinner for people?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Good point.
It's too nasal which is the default thing for people to do when they try and impersonate an american.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)
TGB is totally awesome

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I'm not sure how I feel about TGB
*looks at badge*
Ah yes, that's right.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
*cries*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
What?
My badge says "TGB's lovely sometimes".
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
I'm always nice to you
you Clendrix
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
True dat

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
I'm sometimes nice to you
But sometimes you need tellin straight *clicks fingers* mmmMHMmm
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
*pandertron*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Nahh, not worth it

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Fucking hell, you don't have to be NICE to her.
Just throw her a fish head every now and again and she'll be perfectly happy.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
My weekend should be nice.
A mate has just become a father for the first time, so baby visiting will be part of it, other than that, an elderly relative has a birthday party on Saturday, but post that, I'll probably head into Bristol for a few drinks.

Sunday, I'll sleep.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)
bored WITH that.
I'm off to 'Tumble in the Jungle' in Walthamstow tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to paed me up some lucky nippers, I think.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
"Walstamwhatsit", I think you'll find.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Alright Lampito
how was your evening?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)
I got lost on London Fields, laughed at the fixie bikes
Arrived, cracked open the gin right away, had a delicious meal and lots of fun. A+ would do again.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Points for laughing at 'fixies'
Detestable hipster toss.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
That goat was lovely I thought.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Yeah, and the food was delicious!

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
BOOM! BOOM!

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Short answer: No
Long answer: No, I have a boring life and no money.

Alt: Wouldn't mind being Wolverine from X-men, though without the crippling mental flashbacks please.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Not me, totally skint now until the end of the month. Stupid life.
Alt Q: Captain Kirk. He gets to roam around nailing green women and being treated like the hottest man EVER, despite showing off his ever-expanding waist in a collection of tight-fitting suits PLUS wearing more and more unbelievably obvious toupes.

Obviously this is 1980s Kirk, not the new one in which he is apparently "James Dean in Space".
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)
*space reserved for hilarious Simpsons tie picture*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)


(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
You'd love to be that much man, Monty, and you know it.
He punched out a giant lizard-man.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)
He's made up. You do know this, right?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Made up or not
If you don't want to punch out a giant lizard-man, then get off with a green woman with your gut hanging out of your heroically ripped lycra tunic and your syrup hanging half off your head, you're not even human, let alone a man.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
I do indeed. But it's going to be serious effort getting to Paddington.
Y U no closer to Central London?

Alt: OOh, I don't know. Just trying to remember the last film I watched where something good happened to the characters.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
bus to Elephant then Bakerloo line straight up no?
I will have to CHANGE tube lines SHOCK
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
There's a bus that goes there directly
Just not sure how long it takes. There's a bus from my nearest busstop that legit takes 61 mins on the board things, and you know how they lie. So it could be an hour by bus. Or 45 mins, which is tolerable.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)
I don't know, I can see the motivation behind wanting to avoid the Bakerloo line
particularly at the Elephant end. The air is foetid down there.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)
No, I love the Bakerloo line, it's my favourite line
due to the bouncy seats.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)
There is that mitigating factor.
It is, however, the same line on which I sat in a packed carriage who were all awkwardly trying not to stare at the man sitting opposite me and openly reading a gay pr0n magazine...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)
What is it with you and the Bakerloo line?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)
He loves it
he got to look at free gay porn
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

the man sitting opposite
and
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)
That was your reflection in the opposite window.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Cockfosters?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Mudchute
more like
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)
well i thought this was bloody hilarious
humph. seems you really do have to be rude to people round here to get any amusement whatsoever.

you all smell.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)
Do we have the skills to be that character? I mean, like, say I'm playing the part of Batman, would I still be scared of standing on chairs to change lightbulbs? 'Cus then the bad guys would win.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Visiting the in-laws
so no.

I'd pick James Bond - women, guns, gadgets, cars, spaceships (once). Not bad
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)
James Bond is an alcoholic rapist
Discuss.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
And he's charming and witty

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
POTD
Frankly, I'm stunned that no-one else has spotted this
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I noticed
I was trying to come up with a reply that wouldn't detract from it.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
That's why we love him

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)
'dishcush'

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)
Very revealing about your sexual roleplay with Dutch Schteve there
"Oh, Misch Montypenny, I schee you've dropped your penschil, you'd bescht bend over and picksch it up, yesch?"
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Misch Montypenny Schteve

Wait.. did it always say Schteve in the header? I've lost the ability to read *cries*
*throws self under bus*
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
NO
Monty is ALWAYS the catcher to Schteve's pitching.
Edit: I did put Schteve in after, but only 20 seconds or so after posting.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
It's ok I'm dead
not that you'd care
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)
*gets the bestest doctors in the world to fix you up again*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

the bestest doctors in the world +Jesus

Lab the Jesus-freak
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Oh man I could get Jesus to bless my vagina and increase admission fees by 100%

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Quick maths question:
2 x 0 = ?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I hate you
I'm not going to Oxford now you've ruined it
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Sadface
I was saying you're not a prostitute!
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Says the Catholic
Besides, it's more accurate if you say "Lab the Freak-Jesus"
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)
just because you LARP as him
doesn't actually make you Jesus
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Foam and latex nails hurt a lot less than real ones.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
First spelling, now reading....I think you have Alzheimer's.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)
I think I'm probably just stupid

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)
'No Mr Bond, I exschpect you to take it up der 'Paul Gadd''

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
You just want to be molested by TGB and one of her big metal Jawsy lovebites.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Moonraker marked the point at which they ran out of Fleming novels.
Although they were so sympathetic to the themes of the novels that had I not told you that, you'd probably never have noticed.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
If we didn't know you were being sarcastic,
only Roger Moore himself would have able to raise a sufficiently quizzical eyebrow at that...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I fucking love Bond
But I cringe at that film. Heinous.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
I think I'm the only one in the world who always things "Oh god, when will this shit be over?" when watching James Bond.
I find it really dull and borring, except Goldeneye, and that's only because it was based on the video game which came out when I was 14 or soo, so the video game came out at the right time to 'wow' me.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Correction
"The only man in the world".

Women are well known for their lack of sophistication in this area.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)
The last one I saw, which is the second from last one they made, they had what felt like an hour at a game of cards, but was probably a good 20 minutes.
OH NOES, I GOT A KING OF HEARTS ON THE RIVER WHEN THE FLOP DIDN'T BLAHDY BLAH BLAH, THEY'RE NOW GOING TO BLOW UP THE WORLD.

The only thing that would make a long cards game in a film more borring would be if they were playing it while being chased in a forrest.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I hear that you appreciate a good forest scene.
I disagree with you there, the whole speeder sequence in Return of the Jedi gave me my first ever boner in 1987. However, I can't help but think that Baccarat (or Poker, I can't remember what the game was in Casino Royale) would be unplayable whilst running in a forest.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)
The only thing that makes forrest scenes OK, but not 100% of the time, is the inclusion of aliens.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
You must have fucking loved both the original Predator
and Predators.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
They were why I said "not 100% of the time".

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Yeah, that scene was a bit dodgy
It didn't really mean anthing to someone who doesn't play poker, and to someone who does play poker it's just a joke in terms of plausability.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)
You are not alone, Gonz
I'll admit I enjoyed the recent Casino Royale (albeit partly for Eva Green's magnificent cleavage), but all the other ones I've tried watching - including the supposedly fabled Sean Connery ones (I know, I know) - have just seemed incredibly tedious to me. Perhaps I just haven't seen the right ones, or something, but I really cannot be arsed with them.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Nope you're right
Casino Royale was decent. The rest were just pretty stupid. And I've already ranted about the universal man-crush on Sean Connery
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I'm a Dalton man, myself

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I'm more of a Galton man.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Sean Connery's best roll was in The Rock, I love that film.
*Jumps down on knees, lights up two flairs and throws my arms to the air as a squadren of fighter jets blow the shit out of me*
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)
TELL YOUR MEN TO STAND DOWN
I CAN NOT DO THAT
I AM ORDERING YOU TO TELL YOUR MEN TO STAND DOWN
I CAN NOT DO THAT
STAND DOWN [name] STAND DOWN NOW
WE ARE IN AN ELEVATED POSITION, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN WALK OUT OF THIS, YOU STAND DOWN
I CAN NOT DO THAT !
*Rock falls on the floor*
*Gun fire*
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)
I like this!!

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)
ALT Q: Roy Batty
Live fast, die young.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
You are a Batty man.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)
Better than being a Deckard (Pronounced dik-hed)

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
This reminds me
There is a family in my home village with the surname "Battye". For some reason, they don't like this to be discussed although the children are surprisingly well adjusted, considering.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)
I would be Mick Jagger's character 'Turner' in Performance.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Mick Jagger Tom Hanks
Performance Turner and Hooch
Monty Boyce JeffTheDogFucker
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)
hahahhaha

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)
hahahahaha

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)
I liked Mick in Freejack
He played Mick Jagger
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)
I'd be Ron Jeremy
This weekend I am escaping to the country
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)
Why, run out of bags and want to make like a bear?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Good plan, it's back to nature for me!
"I'm going outside, I may be some time..."
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I'm going to Bristol tonight, and apparently Longleat safari park tomorrow
Doubt I'll have time to see Bobby, and obviously Jeff is banned from Longleat.

Alt Q - any Ashton Kutcher character. He always seems to end up knee-deep in quality fanny despite never being remotely convincing or charismatic. Which is basically my life, but with more money and varied quality fanny
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

going to Bristol tonight, and apparently Longleat safari park tomorrow
Doubt I'll have time to see Bobby, and obviously Jeff is banned from Longleat.

Alt Q - any Ashton Kutcher character. He always seems to end up knee-deep in quality fanny despite never being remotely convincing or charismatic. Which is basically my life, but with more money and varied quality fanny


KRAYTOS, I SEEK VENGANCE FROM MY FATHER, ZUSE ! I AM 32 YEARS OLD AND I AM THE GOD OF WAR
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)
Best Yet!

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Where are you going in Bristol this evening?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Ms Foxtrot's sister's flat
It's a five-hour drive, we won't be there early enough to do owt. She lives in something-or-other village in the city
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)
Clifton village?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Be sure to only take one of her socks

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)
That's the fella!
Is that anywhere near you?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Nowhere is that far away in Bristol
Take her a pizza from the Tesco finest range, and as Kroney says, one sock is the fashion of the day in those parts of Bristol.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)
I'm not going to try to cater for one of that family
Vegematarians, coeliacs, fussy fucking eaters. No chance. One sock?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Murderer's choice of fashion

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Sadly not
Alt: I'd be Jayne Cobb. Utterly unscrupolous, vicious, funny, and a crack shot.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Plus he has a cunning hat.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Oh Jayne is a guy?
I though AA wanted to go cross dressing again
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Obvious and unfunny answer, I'm not shocked it's come from you.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
It doesn't have to be subtle
to be true
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)
That's one more Tshirt gone

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)
So now you're stripping me?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
With a heat gun and a scraper.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Yep, after all "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything."

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Based on this
I think you should dress like that chap from Malice Mizer
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
*googles*
Holy fuck.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)
One of those is a chap?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)
They all are
the specific one I meant AA should dress as is Mana
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)
WHAT?
Prettiest man EVER
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Oh just the clothes
no way could he be as pretty as Mana. No offence AA. Though said man is well known for saying he had good legs so why shouldn't he be allowed to wear a miniskirt down the street. And yet surprisingly 100% straight.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)
None taken, I'm fine looking like a rotund bloke
Although I am losing weight
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)
There's no way I could be as pretty as Mana :(

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Would you want to look like that?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)
Well not like that per se
But he has FANTASTIC skin
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Fantastic amounts of makeup and Photoshop

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Pfft don't tell me
you didn't have a moment of 'ooh'
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)
he totally did

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I'm now wondering about some strange corners of myself
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Sometimes he looks freaky
here however...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)
I would
even if it he does look occasionally a bit freakish- see the pictures of him topless.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)
He did a song on Dirge Of Cerberus, a cracking one at that...

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)
If no one had said it was a man
I'd have thought it was a pretty, if slightly masculine-looking girl.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Asians generally have amazing skin
I have researched this by staring at people on the tube
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Smooth
I'm not talking about their skin.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)
eew you disgust me

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)
I have no idea what you're thinking
I was saying you were displaying almost Chompy levels of smoothness re: stalking.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)
so like sandpaper then?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)
That reminds me far too much of a character in one of my favourite games...

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)
That's thoroughly terrifying.
Although, I've been invited to a RHPS party, and the birthday girl is choosing who I'm going as. I'm hoping to god I'm one of the male parts (just not Frank-n-furter)
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)
RHPS?
Red Hot Penny Shares?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Rohypnol, Heroin, Pills and Speed.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Ahhh
or Thursday as you call it
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Rocky Horror Picture Show

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)
I have a stonking weekend in Wales lined up.
Hanging around Yfenni pointing at short people. To be honest I could do that anywhere, but the welsh are so sensitive, it makes it more worthwhile.

Alt Q: I'd like to be David Niven in the Guns of Naverone. He just blows everything up, and annoys authority figures.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)
David Niven was my mate's uncle!
His Dad is the absolute double of him!
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)
That is awesome.
Does your mate take after him too?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)
Not really, no
He kind of looks like his Dad but not too much

Two mins and I'll see if I can dig out a picture

EDIT:


(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)
Could you make that a bit bigger please?
I can't quite see it from space.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)
*whistles*

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)
I bet he's not even going to a wedding, hasn't been to one for years, has nothing in the pipeline eaither. He just _really_ likes those clothes.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)
This is true
.....and tea
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)
I bet the photos was taken in the roughest pub next to millwall football club on mach day.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Nice Tash.
Shame about the teeth.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)
'I'll get you, Butler'

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)
i'd quite like to be vivienne in pretty woman
but only at the point the film starts. i am very keen on the penthouse and billionaire's credit card shopping. i am not so keen on the whole hooker thing.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)
also the weekend thing: i'm out for pizza and wine tonight
children's theatre group thing on saturday (this will be hell on wheels with a hangover. also the names of the over-privileged little brats [ok lovely kids but that doesn't sound as good] are so socially upwardly mobile - all the white kids are called things like aysha and nada and all the asian kids are called things like olivia and julia, clearly each set of parents thinks they are being very hip), then down to bristol to see the awesome rakky.

sunday will prob be mahoosive brunch in bristol to get rid of the double hangover. rakky is a bad bad influence on me.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Browns will do you a nice brunch
www.browns-restaurants.co.uk/
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)
this is a link to you cooking, isn't it?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)
No, because that would be pikey and cheap.
Make sure you pack just the one sock and the Tesco pizza if you don't want to look like a Northern idiot when you go out on the town.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)
my chick lit book this morning said
"there are two types of nightclub in bristol: crap and closed."
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)
hahaha
That is probably quite true.

I've not been 'clubbing' for a long time. What sort of music do you hope to find this weekend?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)
Round to someone's house to celebrate their engagement
but we have to bring our own foods and drinks because all they have are prunes, crackers, one bottle of red, one bottle of white and a half bottle of vodka.

I made some rocky road but a bottle of water leaked into it so I've salvaged about two thirds of it. *sadface*

Someone just bought me chocolates! *falls of diet wagon completely*
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Well I'm officially fucked.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.


Shit.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)
More than usual?
Would you like to share with the group? We have tea and sammiches
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Explain please.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)
I am on the brink of financial ruin.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Can you declare yourself bankrupt?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)
If I do I will lose my home.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)
Really?
A friend had to declare herself bankrupt when the father of her two kids shagged the babysitter, then fucked off to the Philippines leaving her with shit loads of debt. She was able to keep the house.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)
it depends entirely on the circumstances
if the trustee in bankruptcy thinks the house is adequate, you'll stay there. if he thinks it's excessive, it will be sold so that something smaller can be purchased.

but it really is a last resort thing, you'd never get a mortgage again!
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)
Don't you run your own business? It's coming up for end of financial year.
Would now be a good time to award yourself a five fingered bonus?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)
Nah, it's someone else's.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)
Are you suggesting he fists himself?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)
No, I'm suggesting he steals from the company
and fucks off to Rio. It's the only sane thing to do, in the circumstances.

You cross-dressers, always about the fisting.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Do you have one of those cookery brushes that they use for egg-wash? If you've got two of them, you could sale one, but not both because you'd need one if you ever make something with pastery.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Best suggestion so far
Practical
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Or if he has Sky, Internet and a Phone line by different companies, you can generally get it cheaper if you use the same company for all three.
But the trouble is Sky's telly is the best, but their internet is rubbish. Virgin's internet is best, but their telly is medioca. And BT's telly is worst, but their price is best.

It's hard to find the right one.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Pft as if Monty has any modern technology in his flat

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)
He's got loads of modern technology, but he considers the combustion engine modern.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)
I've gone with Sky for the telly, Virgin for the internet
and cut down on the port and cut out MDs entirely. It's an individual choice, of course.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)
You alright Monty?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Not in the slightest, no.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Is there nothing that can be done?
No other routes to go down?
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Oh no. Oh no :(
I'm sorry.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)
He was fine before you went round for dinner.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Are you suggesting Lampito ate him out of house and home?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

of house and home
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Monty IS a cunt, not HAS a cunt.

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
Maybe she was the Nun, he was the vicar?

(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)

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