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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lunch thread.
I had some shit sushi for lunch but there was wasabi so that made it bearable, and an apple.

Alt: Sex. (sorry but I'm feeling a bit hello sailor today).
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:32, 157 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*Waves!*
Hiya Blousie.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
*waves*
Hello Jeff. Whatchabeenupto?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
I went to a Zombie convention on the weekend.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)
Yeah right!
And I've been ravaged by the local rugby team.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
You are Sarah Greene on a pool-table
AICMFP

(Seriously though, I think I went to a zombie convention)
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
Why only think? Aren't you sure?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
no, clearly they ate his brains

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
I went to a great-aunts 90th birthday on Saturday.
There was sherry and music. The 'pub singer' got a great reaction from the pensioners as he mumbled his way through the hits of yesteryear, the highlight for me? It had to be when he sang the Neil Diamond classic 'Sweet Caroline'

Scores of the living dead all got involved with the lines;

Hands, touchin hands
Reachin out
Touchin me
Touchin yooooou....

A mixture of cheap sherry and Parkinsons meant the slightly raised hands vacant expressions and arthritis (in addition to them all shaking like shitting dogs) caused them all to go into 'zombie mode'.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Haha!
Wish I'd been there.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
You don't.
It was beyond shit.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
Sarah Greene? Pool Table??

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
POIDH

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
Only if the pictures are 20 years old
I have zero desire to see that now
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
Google 'Sarah Greene Pool Table'

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Done!

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
Second result: this post.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:08, Reply)
Thai noodle soup.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
Fuck knows
A jaunt into Norwich is called for, I shall peruse several eateries before doubtless going to the Veggie Chinese all-you-can-eat as usual.

Alt: eh?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
That thing you do with the missus when she's drunk enough.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)
Watch Fred & Ginger movies?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
figginglolz

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)

drunk unconscious
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
So you're the pervert with the binoculars in the bushes opposite my house
Nice to put a name to the face
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
Oh.
Er. Hi.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Hi!
I wouldn't bother tonight. Glee's on, I'll probably be too angry afterwards to roger her
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
What a gobbler.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I've been wrapping salami around the buttter and marmite crusts from my breakfast
It is my new favourire thing
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)

salami my cock
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)

the butttttttttttter and marmite crusts from my breakfast my cock
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
*High fives!*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
hahaha!
fools seldom differ`
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I've been wrapping salami my cock around the butter and marmite crusts from my breakfast a cock.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
Points awarded to BGB

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
*does victory dance*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
*observes jiggling*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
I knew I should have worn the other bra this morning.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
You only have two?
Presumably you donated the rest to African children short on beds
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
Pfft!
You could house a family in one cup.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
but not quite two families one cup

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
disgustinginternetperversitylols

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
I'll see what's diet-friendly in the coffee lounge
Alt: not in a while, though I'm not yet missing it. Breasts on the other hand...
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
Do they have Jazz in the coffee lounge?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
I'm sure someone else
will do the Jazz to Jizz strikethrough so I don't have to
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
has it come to that already?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)

to that *insert 'On [random B3tan's] face' joke here.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
nice work
I'm just getting back into the daytime posting frame of mind, it's hardwork all this striking through and talking of lunches.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
I haven't posted here in ages.
Work aren't too keen on my 'use of time' an ddon't like the fact that I was using all their bandwidth on spotify all day.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
I'm only a
non-term time poster in the day. I should do something better with my time off, like work
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)
No
Only BBC News 24.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Where/who was it that used to do the jazz news?
That was good.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
You'll soon be in the company of TGB, me and Clenders.
I would say that will be a norktastic weekend.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)
I cannot wait!

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)
You used my real name in a previous thread

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
I saw this!

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
I wondered who that was referring to.
You have a nice name. Well done.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
Yeah I noticed that
Although theoretically anyone who knows what he was on about knows your real name anyway
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
I knew and I didn't
but now she's pointed it out, I DO NOW.

I am now going to commence identity theft.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
This is exactly why the internet is a bad thing
Ban this sick filth etc
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)
Shit, did I?
Bollocks, sorry!
Edit: Have gone back and changed it, so so sorry!
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
That's okay
did you have a good Sunday?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
I had a lovely Sunday thanks
The Ashmolean was a delight to look around, the journey back was pleasant, and my evening was very lazy indeed.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)
Glad to hear it :)

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:17, Reply)

a delight too damn big and made like a maze to confuse and disorientate
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)
woo boobs

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)
Oh yeah apple was very complimentary about your weight loss, thought you'd like to know.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
Everyone was...
...
...

chinpressed.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Whereas you played bad cop to her good?
That's very kind of her, I am suitably smug!
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Yeah when she said it I asked if we were talking about the same labs
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)
Probably a sandwich
Alt: impotence. Sorry, this is word association, yes?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
i have some supermarket sushi
but I just ate a cheese and onion muffin instead.

Good afternoon
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
Random spicy seafood noodles
Random - check
Spicy - fucking check (ouch)
taste of something fishy - check

Alt:
Go on then
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
Ham & Mustard sandwich, Chicken Caesar wrap.
Alt: Not for a while now unless you count Palmela Handerson.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
Pret a manger sandwich
Chicken and bacon. Also some Kettle chips and a diet coke.

Alt: I don't get it
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
and that's why you're on the internet

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
This is very true

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
It's quite simple really, the winky goes into the foo foo

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
Or into the choo choo

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)
trainsexlols

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
That's disgusting.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
and unlikely

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
There's also vigorous thrusting by the winky
and he cry's at the end if he's had a good time
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
*makes notes, corrects apostrophes*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
WHATEVS

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
If he doesn't cry am I allowed to give a swift kick to the groin area to facilitate this.
I do realise it's quite late in life for me to be asking this but who knows, I may get lucky one more time.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)
Mr winky may on occasion not cry, but this may in part be down to him not liking you
or due to massive drugs. Kicking his teabags won't help
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
If Mr Winky doesn't like me then what is he doing trying to get to my foofoo?
Just realised what you meant by crying. God, I'm getting old.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
He's a confused loner

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
he doesn't do that pre-cry thing

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
Mistaspakkawinky
All the foo foos really dig him the most
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)
SHABBA!

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)
A match made in heaven then.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:07, Reply)
You can tempt him out from time to time with treats

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Cocktail sausages?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)
peanuts

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)
A well thumbed copy of a 1980's razzle plucked from a hedgerow is his favouite

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:20, Reply)
What about some modern pron?
Zombie anal one-legged dwarf monthly.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:22, Reply)
+3D

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)
From Massive Attack? He's a paedo.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)
Nah he's old skool

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)
If you're lucky.
And he isn't obsessed with the poo poo.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Is this post about the TellyTubbies?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
The IQ levels are quite low around these parts, sometimes things have to be broken down a bit

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
Bacon, egg and sausages on a giant muffin
Alt, yes please
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Fucking povvo soup, houmous, crackers.
Alt: male, despite the hair.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Gaymo.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
Is that a kind of pink lawnmower?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
officelols

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
haha
It's a lot less bovver with a Hover.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)
A neighbour painted his lawnmower pink for the missus (she wanted to mow the lawn for some reason)
You can probably guess how that went
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
Nope, sorry.
I'm thinking either
a) fine or
b) it caused some kind of problem?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:58, Reply)
From the raised voices it sounded like she loved it and wanted the world to know

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)
That was because I was round there
give her the old one-two up the 'Paul Gadd'.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)
hehehe

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)
Your neighbour sounds like a prick

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)
It was the thought that counts

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)
I had houmous yesterday
and am looking forward to more of the pate berk made
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
One more flush should shift it.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
I could eat Hoummous til i burst.
Lidl used to do 500ml tubs and i'd easily clear one in a sitting. With a spoon.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Sounds like you really like it.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
Is it, is it wicked?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
He's loving it. loving it. loving it.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)
It's like Crack.
But tastier.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
Cheese straws and five different tubs of hummous were my undoing last weekend.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
Do you love it as well?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
Too right she does.
She's not that fussed about houmous though.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)
For fucks sake.
It shouldn't be this difficult to call someone a Houmoussexual.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
*claps*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:55, Reply)
Fuck. That sounds incredible.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:53, Reply)
It was.
I've put 3 pounds on.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
That's a godly amount of Hoummous.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Well the booze didn't help.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)
You can trick yourself into thinking it's home made
by putting it into a bowl, dusting it with paprika and then pouring a decent glug of QOTW* olive oil on it.

*extra virgin
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
this made me laugh
alright Monty, how you doing?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)
Dismal, thank you my dear.
Sorry to have missed out on the lolz on Saturday.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
Sorry you couldn't make it
any light on the horizon?
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I filled out a misery summary online for the CCCS
and have downloaded a patronising 23-page advice document this morning. I've yet to read it but it contains pictures of the sort of wankers you see in 'Just For Men' ads, pensively holding cups of coffee.

Never has my own death seemed so appealing.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)
That sounds like absolute shit
I hope there is something worthwhile enough in the document to justify the pictures
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:07, Reply)
Don't die yet.
I'm pinning my hopes on you getting some sort of facial disfigurement so that I can have you at last.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
Scarface lols

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)
Facial disfigurement is certainly something I don't wish to miss by dint of my being dead.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)
I knew you'd see it my way.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)
alt: female

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Lesbo.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
Afternoon
My lunch has been a packet of wine gums while I wait for the nice people in the garage to find out if the squeek in my car means it's about to blow up.

Loose Women is on the tv. It's the first time I've seen it. Christ it's dreadful shit.
Anyways I've been sat here an hour and I'm massively bored.
Amuse me!
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)
*dances*

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
*claps like idiot*
*then looks a bit bored and eats another wine gum*
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
*Fires up gramophone*
*Offers you a Foxtrot to the strains of Irving Berlin*
*Skulks out, tail between legs*

Calm down Jeff. Metaphorical tail.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)
Meh

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)
We now know why Biscuit keeps attacking random people.
She scared.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Is Biscuit still attacking pensioners?

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)
Odd random people,
But she doesn't like anyone with hoods or cycle helmets etc too.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:14, Reply)
Does Biscuit read the Dail Mail?
I understand they are down on Hoodies.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)
She's strictly a Guardian reader.
Hence our perplexity.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:20, Reply)
Grabs hold of a fire extinguisher, sits in office chair
Squeezes the trigger
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
This has raised a chuckle from me, if no-one else.

(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)
I had smoked salmon pasta
I am still bloody hungry. The only thing I would particularly like to do today is go back to bed and eat a lot of chocolate.
alt: would love to, alas I know of no willing volunteers.
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)
A salad that I barely touched, am in far too bad a mood to eat
Just caused an argument without meaning to, it's fucking shit.

Alt: Alright, why not? *unzips*
(, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)

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