Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How do people know when you are drunk?A friend of mine gets a numb mouth when she drinks white wine, I get a squiffy eye and Chompy "alledgedly" gets handsy.
ALT: Favourite drinks? I have a penchant for a Gin Martini with a twist, NEVER an olive you plebs!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:23,
163 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
The 'twist' being that you drink it out of a big fat poofter's arse.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:26,
Reply)
Maybe that's why he objects to the olive- he just thought it was an olive.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:27, Reply)
I enthuse at length about thingsI also grin a lot and one of my eyes looks half closed, but I think it might do that just when I smile normally.
alt: I'm enjoying vodka, lime and soda at the moment. I like a G&T and a nice glass of red though.
or a Screaming Blue Motherfucker, but I haven't had one for a while because most bars won't make it. Losers.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:27,
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I start talking full-on Barnslish at high speed.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:27,
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I end up getting in MASSIVE arguments with peopleand then people have to take me outside for a smoke
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:28,
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Tears in the toilet before bedtime(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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yeah but other peoples so it's fine(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:30,
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A good punch to the ear will do thatand leave a satisfying ringing there for morning afters
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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Are you drunk on here all day every day then?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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No I just think most people on here are cunts(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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Is there something wrong with being a pleb?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:28,
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Monty, shall I letb you field this question I'm on the phone(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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This term is used today to refer to one who is or appears to be of the middle or lower order.
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girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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Hoi polloi is acceptable, however the majority of politicians within Rome from the late Republic onwards were deemed Plebian Crassus, Pompeius and the like. They certainly weren't equestrian or lower. FLICKS V's
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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If Plebians were the social elite of their day, why is it derogatory to be painted with that brush?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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Hey! I don't make the linguistic rules.I just google them.
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girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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I've used pleb in such a manner.Don't know where I got it from.
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girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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Well you've learnt something new today, cut it out(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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I swear down I'll fucking do time for you(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:58,
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oi you twoget a room.
just don't tell jeff.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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I'm like a speader of the truth, and it's thrown back in my face :((
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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By the time Pompey & Crassus were aroundit had all gone to shit. Evidence of social mobility and opportunity for non-noble citizens towards the end of the Republic does not indicate anything more than the wealth and influence of some peasant like Philip Green does about the aristocracy in modern British society.
IN MY OPINION.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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Well if you go back to the Gracchi, they dropped their patrician status in favour of being plebian in order to hold the office of tribuneand that was a hundred years before the end of the Republic. What really done for the Patrician class were all the land and wealth grab proscriptions by Sulla and the like. They invariably ended up murdering the majority of Patricians as they were the ones with the wealth, so they ran out of numbers eventually. So enters your novus homo, Cicero didn't do so bad ' defender of the Republic'. *could go on*and on* something about Marius.....
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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I once heard someone say "the hoi polloi". They almost died.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:49,
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I am more of an 'eques', personally.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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I'm more of a dusty kneed helot :(((
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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-joins the krypteia-(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:46,
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You'll never take me alive!1!!which was the point I guess
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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I just love the "hunting for sport" bit.Oh, and the ritualised dress-your-wife-up-as-a-man-and-rape-her wedding night shenanigans.
Spartans were awesome.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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Their whole society was topsbullying of the helots as a hobby high fives
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:03,
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it's v hard to tell with mebut when i am drunk enough to vom, i purse my lips and talk like a baby. apparently, i never ever remember doing it. i assume it must be because i hate the taste of alcoholic vom.
on the plus side, i haven't done this for about 10 years.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:28,
Reply)
I repeat myself, talk faster and sit on people a lotEssentially, I get more like a cat. I can tell straight away when the boy is drunk because he can't make eye contact, and my best friend can never open his left eye properly.
I know when lampers is drunk because she vomits in my bath.
Alt: If you don't know my favourite drink by now then you're NOT WORTH MY TIME.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:28, Reply)
I flash my nipple piercings tooI definitely did this in Oxford, though I can't remember who to. Might have been a stranger.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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It wasn't me :(I've just been told off for not doing my work. By someone who's just spent the last half an hour on IGN.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:34, Reply)
I didn't show you?Maybe next time then. I think I showed Kitty, so you could always get her verdict.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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hahahahahaha sooooooo many comments(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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Hush you(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I didn't say nuffin'You're mean to me
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:40,
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I doubt it wasBut if you ask nicely next time I'll show you.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I think you showed me.I've seen Apples. Nom nom nom.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:38,
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So have I(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:39,
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Let's face it,With my nipples, it's odd if people haven't seen them.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Ah thank youNone of you vomited, so this makes me feel better.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:47,
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I hid my disgust well, evidently.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:48,
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See I didn't even make my "she couldn't see them because his chins were in the way" comment and I got shushed*sulks*
*eyes up some forks*
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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Labs is just a revolting creature. I hate him.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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*beepbeepbeepbeep*Oh ignore that it's just my LIES ON THE INTERNET detector
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:52,
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*perks the fuck up*You're the best!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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-narrows eyes-And if I were to say I hate you? Would that set it off? No? Ah, must be faulty.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:57,
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yeah but if you liked me you'd probably want to meet up all the time and text me and see what I'm doing and how I'm feeling and stuffSo really what 'm trying to say is WINNAH
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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Do I have your number? No. Do I want it? No.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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I remember the way to your house. You can expect me at 7.34pm tonight.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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awesome I'm cooking bacon and pea risotto if you want any/(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:37,
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You just made me cross my arms over my chest(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:52,
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I am happy my power extends at least 100 miles(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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What was this, some sort of nipple viewing party that I wasn't invited to?(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)
You must have been hussying about the placeAnd missed the unveiling.
In truth I was drunk, so no idea where I did it, or where you were at the time.
Shit, wait, it might have been in the museum, therefore I wouldn't have been drunk, just stupid.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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I'd like to be drunk all the time,so nobody's got anything to compare to.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29, Reply)
If it's red wine then I turn into a sex crazed maniac.If it's anything else I usually fall asleep early.
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girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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I have only been drunk about twice in the past few years.Unfortunately the last time was in front of half of /OT. I am told I am like a naughty schoolboy.
Alt: XO cognac - and if you ask me if I want ice in it I will set fire to your pub/restaurant
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
Reply)
It was endearingWatching you sway along to the music you were playing to yourself, seemingly unaware of the destruction your kitchen door was subjected to.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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You ranted on at me for half an hour about smackheads and then tried to tap my veins.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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It was hilarious.Crow was next to me, so I indicated his arms and you just latched on to him as well.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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This was in t'pub.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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I thought I'd had a life's worth of vein-tapping after living with medical students for two yearsGuess it's my own fault for rolling my sleeves up...
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)
And my fault for guiding Monty in your direction.They are rather impressive, though.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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Yup. Best sleeves I've seen in years.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:08,
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My eyes are always half closed anyway, so I always look drunk/stonedI tend to just get a little louder, a little more likely to overshare, and I repeat myself.
Alt: Gin and tonic.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
Reply)
I try to make my point clearly by saying "First of all, blah blah. Secondly, blah blah, and third blah blah"I also babble a lot more than usual.
If I'm having wine then suddenly my only goal in life is to get laid.
Alt: beer, or pom martini *guzzles*
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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alt: DEATH CIDER WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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I dunno I don't think I have been properly drunk for yearsI can drink a lot and still feel fine and wake up ok in the morning.
I like a good single malt or a good cognac. Red wine for every day drinking and real ales when in the pub.
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Peej, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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I can do 6-8 pints or two bottles of wine without feeling rough the next day.But then I am quite large so it's quite diluted.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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I'm larger (probably)and that would get me pretty wasted. I can't drink well most of the time these days.
Although, after the fondue the other week I reckon I had getting on for a couple of bottles of red, not to mention all the booze in the fondue and a metric fuckton of reefers.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:45,
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If there's food involved the sums change drastically.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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it normally has no effect on meI've moved to vodka because I can hold it better. If I'm having some spliffs, then more than 3 pints and I'll be fucked. Ditto with wine. Not 3 pints though. A couple of glasses of red and a few spliffs and I'll be leathered.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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Ah yes strong weed makes things altogether different.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:15,
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wine fucks me right upI can do that much beer or more and feel fine.
One and a half bottles of wine and I am feeling rough.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:47,
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this is on a week day mindI drink like a champ on the weekends
but usually feel like shit for half the morning
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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I like your style.When I come over and you've finished beating me up, we can get pissed up and then you can cook me steak and shrimp.
It's a deal. Thanks for the offer.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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pffftI've done more for worse people
It's a deal
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:55,
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I lose all sense of personal spaceand feel like my nose is slightly blocked up. And then I fall asleep, usually somewhere ridiculous (on other people, leaning on a piano, sitting on a table etc)
Cider probably. Or there's a bar back home which does a cocktail called 'Um Bongo' - tastes exactly like it, and you can't taste the alcohol but the stuff is rocket fuel.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:34, Reply)
It really isI wish I knew how to make it, but it doesn't say on the menu and the bar staff won't tell you. Bastards.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)
it's probably um bongo and ethanol(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:41,
Reply)
I just get giddy and a bit loud and my accent gets a lot strongeralt: I too am fond of a martini, though I'll garnish it with either. I suppose the twist suits the drink better but olives are tasty.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:34, Reply)
I punch people :(Or vomit, or start biting people's ears. Or talking in intelligible gangsta speak with the Charmer.
Alt: Gin and ginger ale, brambles, Long Island Iced Tea.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I get giggly and yappyand sometimes a bit narky.
And I try to cook.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:40,
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Yeah I just can't be arsed being understood when I'm drunk!(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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Lucky for you I still understood what you were saying. Living next to Runcorn endows you with such skills.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:44, Reply)
you've just defined "irony"writers and philosophers have been trying to do this for thousands of years.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:51,
Reply)
I tried to make a bolognese, but I was stopped in my tracks.This is for the best, as I usually eat raw things or wake up to burning food.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
I think the fact I used a slowcooker saved everyone in the building from burning that night.(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)
I become a gourmet chef!Cooking fucking steak and shrimp at 4 in the fucking morning.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:45,
Reply)
I get toast cravings.It becomes my mission when I'm really drunk to get toast, in any way possible.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:43, Reply)
Or a salad naan.-vomits-
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:45,
Reply)
Aha, a girl after my own heartI have woken up on numerous occasions with a hangover and toast stuck to me, or toast still in the toaster/on the kitchen counter with a bite missing etc etc.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)
Many years ago I had a spate of late mornings waking up with bits of veggie bacon all over the bed.(
girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:02,
Reply)
I have a mate who revels in the nickname of "Sleeps with Toast"in a faux-indian Dances with Wolves kind of manner
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:25,
Reply)
He once woke up with his room exceedingly warm after a night out.It turned out he had set his hairdryer (I know!) as an alarm clock in his befuddled state
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:27,
Reply)
That is excellentfrankly I'd rather wake up with toast stuck to my arse (which has happened) than with a half-eaten kebab in the kitchen.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)
i used to do this as a studentmore with a hangover than anything else though. one of us would make the trip to the shop for 2 loaves of thick sliced white and a pack of butter, and then we'd all shuffle round the toaster and hoon it off straight from the heat. i even used to pour salt on mine, shudder.
i think preferring granary bread is a sign of incumbent old age...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:52,
Reply)
I had lesbian toast recently.Soya and flaxseed or something. Surprisingly nice.
Nothing beats fluffy plastic white though.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:55,
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Is lesbian toast some sort of postion for old lezzers with flaps like ganary toast?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:57,
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It's when they're not really in the moodSo have to spread I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on their labia.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:03,
Reply)
like on cat's paws when it moves into a new home?i need to go and get some lunch, and this thought is really putting me off sandwiches :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
What?People put butter on their cat's paws?!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Talk utter pishAnd get the urge for MD's to clear my head. And shouty.
Alt: Hendricks G & T with cucumber in it.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)
Good work.Two bottles of red on a school night.
*blows smoke from imaginary pistols*
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)
Did it on Monday.*sheathes imaginary samurai sword*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:57,
Reply)
I THINK I'm slurring, and sometimes I might get a little stumbly.In reality I am informed that no-one can tell, ever. In which case the biggest clue is that I've started ordering Red Bull instead of more booze.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)
I must be the same thenBGB and Tourettes claim to have never seen me drunk.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:54,
Reply)
I've seen you both wastedBut then I always end up seeing the horrific things.... EL DIABLO!
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:57,
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I distinctly remember when you had the cider in the Tap and Spile and doubting your protestations of being completely pissed.You looked like you'd been drinking horlicks all night.
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girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:05,
Reply)
I fell off my stoolAnd no one noticed.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:06,
Reply)
Depends on the stage of the eveningEarly on, it exacerbates my bad habit of talking unintelligible bollocks in the manner of someone slurring the Shipping Forecast.
Later on, I'll find a comfortable place to sit down and just fall asleep like the irritable old man I am.
Alt: Stout, Porter, Mild or a good red wine.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)
My name is Martin, I'm 42 anal analyst from Norfolk and I like Babysham and cherry coke(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:56,
Reply)
I used to workwith an older lady who'd drink Brandy and Babycham.
She would get absolutely leathered and try and snog the young lads in the office.
disgracefulolz.
(, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)
When I am really fucking high I go almost silent.I got past the 'yabbering total shit at people right in their face' stage when I was about 19.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:11,
Reply)
I'm loving a Tanquerry G & T at the momentbut starting to run dangerously low on both G and T. A trip to the supermarket this weekend will resolve this trauma
I have been told I get louder when drunk
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:23,
Reply)
I start to talk shite, get opinionated (supposedly), and I have to strain to focus on things.Alt: All down to what type of booze.
Wine: I currently really like Kumala Chardonnay.
Ale: Bombardier is a favourite, as is Courage Best, Ruddles and Fraoch
Lager: Peroni, Amstel & Stella
Cocktail: Long Island Iced Tea.
Non-alcoholic: Vimto, Diet Coke & Dandelion & Burdock
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:34,
Reply)
Kumala Chardonnay, eh?Are you a hairdresser from Romford?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:42,
Reply)
Nope, I'm a cheap 22 year old from MacclesfieldI used to prefer Presidential selection Wolf Blass, but then the price went up.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:43,
Reply)
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