tell us about some misconceptions
eg: women think that make-up makes them more attractive, but most men will tell you they prefer bare-faced chic. or men think that women want to be porked by 12 inches of angry gristle for 2 hours straight when actually we'd like some expert foreplay and about 10 mins with a perfectly lovely average cock, thank you very much. what common misconceptions can you debunk?

alt q: it's 12.30 and nobody has asked what's for lunch yet?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:17, 143 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

surfing and playing the guitar does not get you the ladies

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

If you did either well it might

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I can't answer that without sounding smug

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

or mendacious?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I think if I wasn't pretty good at the guitar after playing it for 16 years I would have given up by now.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

if only everybody adopted this attitude
for a start we'd have gotten rid of tony blair after 5 minutes in charge.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

some people are misguided

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

many many people
how about michael buble and the middle aged women that cream themselves over him daily, for one example?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I think there are many many worse examples than him
I've not been exposed to these middle-aged women of whom you speak though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I set 'em up, you knock 'em down

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Some people - mentioning no names - seem to think that being able to dance makes a boy gay
Alt: Nowt. Ill.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

some people think pole dancers are slutty
tut.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

wish
not think
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

some sluts think they can pole dance
or lap dance, or just fling themselves generally at men, and those men will find that sexy. You know, as opposed to tragic and piss-funny.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

In my experience being able to pole-dance well is as difficult as it is rare to find

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I imagine your nuts tend to get in the way when you spin round the pole

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Not as much as you'd think
The main problem is that all my strength is in my arms and not my core muscles
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Bear in mind this is only to see what score I get
but

core love s
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:07, Reply)

The grass is not greener on the other side

Alt: I think I'd be sick if I ate lunch
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:20, Reply)

You're talking about lesbianism, aren't you
I could have told you that not many girls dye their pubes green.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Alt: I was like that over the weekend
totally random, 48-hour nausea. Eugh.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

That being in IT makes you a geek by default
It take work to be a geek, real dedication that I dont have.

Alt A:
A cajun mushroom wholemeal wrap with cheddar, olives and jalapenos
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:22, Reply)

i am SO JEALOUS
of your lunch. that sounds awesome.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:22, Reply)

It was actually most lovely
We have a sandwich panini press in work so it was hot and crispy too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:24, Reply)

All we have here is a fucking microwave.
It's rubbish apart from for soup/leftovers - and leftovers are something that only happen in other people's houses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

We accumulate food items in our office
and now have a fridge/freezer, coffee machine, panini press, a kettle and 2 microwaves
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

You work at Argos though, so it's no surprise.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

haha!
Says you, internet shopping boy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

The world's shittest superhero sidekick.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

haha!
ArgosMan and InternetShopping Boy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

TO THE RESCUE!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Except ArgosMan is permanently out of stock
and InternetShopping Boy won't be delivered till next week.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

If we turn up at all
Terms and conditions apply. Please enter your credit card details, which we will steal and buy mobile phones with which to ring Nigeria for 10 hours. Your home may be at risk - as we now have your address and hopefully a work address too, which mean we know when you are out. Bwahahahaha!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:41, Reply)

the deli around the corner
does toasted artisan bread with houmous, haloumi, grilled vegetables, jalapenos and tzatziki. it might have to be mine now, damn you and all your delicious sandwich eating kind.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

that sounds fucking lovely

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

yeah
i have been avoiding that shop for days because of the fear of the 800 calorie sandwich!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

That's how I cook my chilli and jacket potato
I prefer the potato microwaved anyway, hate crispy skin on it!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

you are so very wrong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

*agrees with vippers for once*

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

He really is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I just think it's vile

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I'm not actually handsome OR charming.
Alt: that's not a question.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:24, Reply)

You are a dreadfully common misconception

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Great euphemism for 'unwanted child' there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:26, Reply)

That's what I was going for

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I'm stealing that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I have two that I can debunk with personal experience
Girls with enormous knockers do not always want you to look at, talk to, fondle, or in any way refer to, said massive instruments of torture.

Also, women who marry older men are not always gold-digging whores or trophy wives.

*gets down off soapbox*

Alt: soup, probably, and a 'nana.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Well you have a granda' already

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

pft
this is true.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

and these things are not at all related?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

in what way?
Are you suggestingthat because I have a pair of ridiculously oversized boobs that I have to / was destined to marry an old man?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Anna Nicole Smithlols
since I'm cursed in exactly the same way :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Nah, some women need make up.
and even men realise that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Even if it's just a bit of foundation to cover emo self-inflicted blemishes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I might put purple eyeshadow on tomorrow to evoke more sympathy from people

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Just on one eye though
and lots of blusher on the same cheek
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

You know what's 'in' this season?
Masks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

at least I'm not so horrific looking that strangers photograph me in the street
so they can show their kids what will get them if they don't eat their vegetables.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

HAHA!
I'd forgotten about that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Oh, I certainly do.
I look rough as dogs without makeup.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I just look ill
I need blusher to do the job that my blood is obviously too lazy to do.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

My face is naturally a much paler colour than my neck.
I really don't know why. Without the little makeup I do wear, I look shiny, blotchy and generally gothy.

Not a great look.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:41, Reply)

the thing is
they say it because they have only ever seen you wearing it, so they don't know any better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I would say 90% of women either apply makeup badly
or simply wear too much. I looks fucking horrible
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

You do indeed, Popeye.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

egegegegegeg
*eats spinach*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

this is true
a lot of women go crazy on foundation and powder and their face is a different color than their neck
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I thought this was a UK thing
Orange face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Have you not seen the Jersey Shore types?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

looooooooooooooooove them
and they're not orange
not sure what's wrong with yalls tanning methods
edit: unless you mean the lot that have smeared iodine all over them
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

i love make-up
when i see people doing it Wrong, it makes me want to tear their tangerine tinted faces off.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

what I don't get
is how all the women in makeup sections of department stores got the job, when they are among the worst culprits when it comes to injudiciously applied makeup
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

this is a very good point

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

The thing is, Vippers,
they work in stupidly bright, harsh lighting. If you don't wear a bucketful of makeup, you just look ill.

Plus, they're selling makeup. They need to show you what it ALL looks like. I have a friend who works for Chanel, and they are actually disciplined if they wear any other brand of makeup.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

those are both good points
I was shopping with my mrs at the weekend though, went to one counter and the woman there actually looked attractive!!

she was over to one side, so out of the glare of the lights, so she may have not had to shovel the stuff on I suppose.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

The last time I bought my particular brand of warpaint from town and not eBay,
the poor girl in Debenhams was stuck in quite possibly the darkest corner of the whole store.

If I was trying the stuff for the first time, I would have had to walk away several times just to see a mirror in actual light.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I love the Benefit section of Debenhams
it just all looks so beautiful, like stepping back into the fifties
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

My Chanel friend used to be the Benefit lady
She had the most awful stories about the company. I was pushed to apply for her job when she moved to Chanel, but there was no way I wanted to work fopr them after what I'd heard.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

do tell

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

are they allowed to do that?
at my old job, the company was sued for trying to make employees wear only their clothes
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

really?
I'd just assumed that either that was like a uniform, or that if you worked at a place you got a great discount and it made it sensible to wear those clothes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

and I'm pretty sure
that Abercrombie and Fitch make you wear their clothes when you're working
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

my brother has a t shirt that says Applecrumble and Fish
how we laughed...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I got some A&F camo combats in Thailand
Two pairs for a tenner, and they lasted ages too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I bet they say Aberkrumbie & Fotch

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Nope, I did check for typos
I would have bought more if it had a comedy label.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

New Look make you wear their clothes
But then they get 50% off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I believe it's the same for monsoon/accessorize
but they get 70% off because their stuff is ridiculously expensive to start with.
(berk, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Some people can't afford it, no matter how good the discount is, you never know what sort of bills or problems people have at home.
I would think as long as your clothes are clean, presentable and don't break the dress code you should be allowed to wear whatever you want.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

tell that to my fucking boss, I'm not allowed to wear a CARDIGAN

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

you're not innocent enough

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:07, Reply)

either that or they supply with an actual uniform
Also, because I do my own tax returns (well, my accountant does), when I had a part time job, I used to claim a tenner a month for cleaning my uniform.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

if it's a term of the employment contract
i would have thought it would be enforceable, although i'm not an employment lawyer.

the problem would be how you prove it, unless you caught them in the act of applying a competitor's product.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

nah, there's no contract, but they were telling their employees they needed to buy new clothes and wear them within that season
so that the customer would know what they look like on a body
They don't pay that well to have to buy a new wardrobe every 3 months.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

When I was a student
a friend of mine worked in River Island. They got to pick two or three outfits every season from the new collection, and had to wear them when at work. I assume they got to keep them afterwards too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

look, we're all sorry you are ugly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I am today
I'm Rocky fucking Dennis today.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I didn't know who that was when I read it on your facebook thing
and I don't know now
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Ok, I look like Commander Worf.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

isn't he called Michael Dorn?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I don't get this.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

the actor who plays Worf

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

oh I see what you meant
Rocky Dennis is a different guy from Commander Worf. The point I was making is I have a big denty lumpy forehead thanks to the spanner self-spanging.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Having tattoos, piercings and a mohawk doesn't mean I'm a violent yob
But if that means you won't sit next to me on trains then I'm not bothered.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

thing is, you don't like a yob, even with all that
I think it's because you haven't got that vacant slightly psycho look in your eyes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

True, I'm too nice for that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

That's to do with your BO, not your stupid hair.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Musklolz

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Also if you are female, have tattoos and piercings, it doesn't make you a filthy slut.

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

just coincidence eh?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:33, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

it does in your case though, right?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Everybody has such a bad opinion of me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Do you have a tramp stamp, Blousie?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

No,

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

can't wait to see what's coming after that comma!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Sorry! typing error.

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

shock and disappointment

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I'd definitely agree with that second one you have there.
alt: coke
as in the beverage
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Not all people who listen to rock music are simply smelly, sweaty freaks
Some of us are ugly too!

Alt: Same as ever.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Do you never tire of the munchy box?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Nearly had one last night, but decided against it
However, I think I might get one on Thursday...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

What's your BMI?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Not a clue

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I guessing somewhere North of 32
What is your height and weight?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I'm about 5' 9", but have no idea what I weigh, I'd say about 10/11 stone...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:33, Reply)

the usual scouser-from-a-council-estate-chip-on-my-shoulder stuff.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

*resists temptation*
How are you today, sis? Fine and peachy, I hope.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

I'm not bad Our Kid.
How's you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Meh.
Trying to psych myself up to doing some work. You know, just for a change.

Have you found me any stuff yet?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

No
I have labyrinthitis and ME and CFS and Lupus and MS.
But I will. In two weekends' time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I had labyrinthitis once
brought on bythe shock of seeing David Bowie's fucking enormous groin bulge in a pair of grey tights.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

That was a pair of socks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Kitty says hi!

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

*melts*
awwwwww.

That's almost enough fluff to make me like cats.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Well hi the fuck to YOU!
That cat is boss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Innit.

( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Alright
then he can have the Biscuit seal of approval.


( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Yey for this as well!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

ha ha ha
Love this!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:10, Reply)

it's true, that is how I greet people

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)