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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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That thread is bogged down in buttery goodness and poor spellingSo donkeys. Useful pack animals or just shit horses?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:28,
190 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I had a ride on a donkey once.It shot off down the beach with the donkey man running along behind it shouting and trying to grab the reins. I was laughing so hard I dropped my icecream.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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You'd think donkey meat would be too tough really(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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those little guys are well hard(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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who the hell has a usefor a limp donkey?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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Donkeys are coolMules are shit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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I've never needed to use a donkey so I can't really answer.What are you, some kind of sherpa or something?
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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yes I'm typing this on my Dell K2from my shack next to a glacier
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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if you light a fire on a glacier does it melt through and sink into it?(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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Shit horses! I got a kick in the slats from a Margate donkey when I was 10.
Hated the bastards ever since.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:33, Reply)
It did say welcome to my anus in the rock?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:38,
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officelol for "a kick in the slats"Not wanting to belittle your considerable pain
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:35, Reply)
Now this is only a guess on my part, and a very risky one at thatbut I think maybe - MAYBE - Monty might have a go at you for starting a shit thread.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:34, Reply)
meh...it's that or wait for him to start a thread about how my face looks like a cat's anus after curry night(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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I like your attitudeProactive and funny. You'll go far with this sort of form.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)
In other news Al got taken swimming for his birthdaywww.youtube.com/watch?v=s-33i2b17nc
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:34,
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Best thing on youtube for a LONG time!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:48,
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Sorry to pull you into this but needed an excuse to pinch it from \links!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:49,
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Paaahahahahaa(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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At the age of 11, I was a jockey in the local donkey derbyI was favourite to win but I came 3rd. The failure haunts me to this day.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:34,
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No-one likes donkeysthey're shit horses. Also the single stupidest thing at the seaside
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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are there even seasides with donkey's still?and why do you hate them so? They carried the baby jesus
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:49,
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I remember them as a childeven then I didn't like them. Disease ridden and unhappy the lot of them
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:57,
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But they carried Jesusand they're sad because they have burdens.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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Everything happens to Eeyore(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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You've obviously never been to Weston-Super-Marewhere the stupidist things on the beach are:
1) Drug addicts
2) Weston college students
3) Brummies
4) Oasis c.1994
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:49,
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Nice flood defences though(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:56,
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they arebut they are pointless. should have let the place be washed away
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:00,
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I reckon it's going to be a golden age for the flood defence industryThis time next year you're going to be a MEEL-YOWN-AIRE Rodney.
Possibly.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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doubt itquantity of work has zero to do with pay rates
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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It's all there for a man with vision VippersI hear Japan has got some work going. "The Vipros Patent Flood Defence System: Guaranteed to keep out all tidal waves and giant radioactive monsters*"
*Not including Mothray
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:09,
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no no, engineering is all about claiming to be doing the most important work aroundwhile whinging that you are under-paid and under-appreciated
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:12,
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2) Weston college students
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:57,
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You really don't like Brummies(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:00,
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:03,
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Donkeys are adorable.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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I really like the timing of this postAccidentally contradicting Amberl's very assertive statement just above it
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)
No, I saw her post :)(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:58,
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and for just 9.99 a month you can(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:58,
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Blimey, her prices have gone up!I blame Cunty Osborne.
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thealternativefact, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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Well with this much extra materialyou won't regret it
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:01,
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Only if you call them.I'm sure it's your turn.
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thealternativefact, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:08,
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HD as wellit's your lucky month. Just look for the volume entitled Ass to Ass for hot donkey-Lampito action
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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So in my head I immediately imagined a well hung porn star buggering Lampers and a donkey in turn.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Ohsorry to disappoint. It's just the ass dealing the damage
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:08,
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I have to make my cut somehow(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:05,
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You could be the producer who appears at the start of the film in slutty underwear to introduce the actors(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Steady onwe want to keep them watching and this isn't a BBW production
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:11,
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I dread to think what you could come up with if your had any artistic skills.(
girlinthehole, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:16,
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looks like a wolf(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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Hahahabest laugh of today
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:20,
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Whenever I see you next, I'll punch you.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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Wherever.-Shakiras-
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:23,
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i always have trouble telling boobs from hills(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:25,
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Lucky I have strong legs like my mother.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:26,
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You might have the wrong girl there(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:27,
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I'm actually listening to it.It has wolf howls and panpipes. I love it.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:30,
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I read this as a reply to my postand felt bad for a minute
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:22,
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I thought she would be pleased that I showed her with nice nipples.(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)
As opposed to...(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:24,
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Those aren't unpleasant?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:27,
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I'm not surprisednice = edible in your eyes
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:29,
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-looks down top--sadfaces-
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:29,
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they are nice nipples?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:25,
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My best donkey-related story is fucking shitbut I will tell it anyway. My younger sister played a donkey in our Primary School Nativity Play and somehow managed to snare herself a song. Not just any song; a solo performance. Playing a fucking donkey. It was called "I carried Mary" and has since become a standard for aspirational donkeys everywhere, although a more downbeat version has also emerged in which the word "Mary" is replaced in the chorus by "various easily communicable blood diseases".
See if you can spot the point in my story above at which Mr Bullshit reared his ugly head.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Not to my knowledgeShe's surprisingly sensible, having inherited both the looks and the brains whilst leaving nowt of either for me, so I highly doubt it.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:52, Reply)
So basically what you are saying isyou fucked a donkey?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:52,
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Nice work thereYou're not getting a score. It was a female donkey.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)
You keep telling yourself thatCricket going tit up for you - another wicket gone. £1 down I think
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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And anotherI should have remembered that the Saffers are chokers. I did make the point this morning that the Kiwis bat all the way down and the Proteas have a long tail, but I'm still down a quid, aren't I
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)
"It was cold, bitterly cold as we approached bethlehemI was so tired I could hardly keep awake on the little donkey"
Why the hell can I still remember my opening lines from when I was Mary in a nativity when I was 15?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:48,
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I thought people stopped doing Nativity plays when they were 6?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:51,
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no, it was with churchWe did another one the year after (I think) which was basically a taleau. We walked in one at a time to assemble at the stable. Unfortunately a toy sheep looked at me funny and I sniggered. This set off everyone else in the tableau which left everyone in the church giggling like loons. Not the moving scene they were hoping for
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:54,
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Oh fucking hellIs Bartleby about? I really hope not, New Zealand are being incosiderately good at cricket at the worst possible time.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)
you think that's bad? I only just realised Dev doesn't have a cd and the only way I can listen to her is on youtube.(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:56,
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Why did you post this? IN GOD'S NAME, WHY?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:54,
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www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1134759
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:55,
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Because he's a dull cunt,I want more Tayaabs, I've got a right hankering for some spicy food.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)
It's pretty fucking tempting that's for sure. I'll do some checking and gaz you next week.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)
eh hemwww.manoir.com/web/olem/raymond_blanc.jsp
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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If I had enough money to eat theredo you think I'd be on b3ta at this moment?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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Unless you're offering to subsidise my meal obviouslyat about £120
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:09,
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There's one of his in MKPrix Fixe is about the same cost as going to the fucking Beefeater nearby at around £16 a head.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)
Yeah lets all talk about some Indian restaurant in the arsehole of LondonPersonally I'd rather hear about someone who got bitten by a donkey, then punched the donkey wihich ran into the sea dragging it's owner behind it, OK?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 14:59,
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But...I thought you were the 'arsehole of London'?*confused face*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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I am and you consistantly eat hot meat out of me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:03,
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I am nothing if not reliable.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:00,
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This made me laugh:Ranet Reet Roughtaargh walks into a bar and asks "Can I get a large aperitif?"
The barman looks at her and says, "I seriously doubt it, love."
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:09,
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that's outstanding(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:12,
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I don't get itor the joke
WAIT!! got it HAHHAHA
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:12,
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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a barBarman says "Why the long face?"
Yours is better
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Christian O'ConnellWalks into a bar.
Barman says "Why the long face you dull cunt?"
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)
Please do not even mention that utter fucking cunt.I beg you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:17,
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kick me in the balls and fill me with your hot meat my master
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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I suppose you met him and he was a boring gobshiteAlthough you could have formulated that opinion if ever you were unlucky enough to catch his show
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)
I knew him between the ages of about 13 and 18.I hate his fucking guts - as does every single other person who also knew him. No ambivalence - active hatred from all.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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Hey, don't diss the "OC" he is as witty as they come(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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We all know you're just doing that deliberatelyNo-one thinks he's witty. Not even him. Well, possibly him.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I have no idea who he is(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:29,
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That is as it should be. I envy you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:31,
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He had one friend,a simpleton called 'Spoon' - so-called because 'his hair looked like a spoon'. It didn't.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:28,
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An early versionof fat Richie. Who inexplicably manges to make him look good.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Please don't get me started.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:30,
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Special Friday afternoon treat. Only mentioned it as I know you two are Winchester BFFs.
*stops pulling leg*
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)
Horse walks into a bar and the barman says, "Why the long face?""I've got horse AIDS..."
EDIT: I don't get it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:17,
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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I can't work out why people still have horses, they're a bit redundant really when it comes to farm work.There are loads of farms in Enfield with horses which don't seem to do anything but be horses. Admitadly, they're very good at being horses, but they've been replaced with tractors and cars.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:27,
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When was the last time you sucked a car's cock?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:31,
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When was the last time you sucked some donkey dick?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:33,
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I was desperately searching for the right replyand that was it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:37,
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About two weeks ago, and it still hasn't called back, not even a text message ! Typical.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:36,
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This being b3ta, I'm really surprised that no one has mentioned the obvious that Donkey's are short enough that they are easier to be very close to than full sized horses or sheep.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:32, Reply)
a man of sense here(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:40,
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I dunno what sort of sheep you get in Americabut donkeys here are quite a bit bigger than sheep
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:45,
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Poor writing, I am american after all and God knows we don;t speak english here.I should have said they are the perfect size, bigger than sheep and smaller than horses.
This is of course all conjecture. I haven't done any empirical testing of this hypothesis.
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Are we talking bore size here?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 15:56,
Reply)
Right, I know I'm running the risk of outing myself as a complete mong here but I've stared at it and thought about it and googled it and stared at it againbut I can't for the life of me get that JSP joke.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 16:19,
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The SJP one I get, I'm NOT a complete mong.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 16:37,
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The Janet Street-Porter one, you complete mong.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 16:40,
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Oh fuck it, a larger pair of teeth.Penis.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 27 Mar 2011, 18:26,
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Donkeys are excellent.Feed them orange peel and watch their faces. Incredible.
PS What JSP joke?
(, Fri 25 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
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