Nine o'clock!
Start of the working week, for you lot anyway, I've been at work since 7am. What awesome crap did you get up to at the weekend? What've you got on this week?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:02, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A 15" black rubber cock
I had fish and chips for the first time in 15 years, it was nom.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Don't you mean really bland?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Good fish and chips is excellent
Meh fish and chips is terrible
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)

This weekend I prioritised pleasure and relaxation above work and am now paying the price.
Hippolyte Delehaye can go choke on a crucifix.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:10, Reply)

This weekend.......
The mighty Belmers 2.0 rocked the Coventry Oak for money and...FREE BEER!!
I was 'not a well boy' on Saturday - Pooflake was even worse.
Happy days.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Glad you guys are still going
I have fond memories of seeing you with TGB, Kaol, Labs et al.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I'm going out for lunch with my dad tomorrow.
looking forward to that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I haven't had any coffee yet
My Saturday was bloody great as I spent most of it drinking, right up until I stopped DJing at 3am. Most unprofessional. There was a period of a couple of hours when I may been drunkenly fuming over the actions of some football-related individuals known collectively as "cunts" but otherwise it was a top day.

Yesterday was a complete write-off.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Morning all.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)

This weekend I mostly sat around doing not much, looking
forward to getting back on the exercise train this week.

Reviews and payrise stuff this week too, ooer.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:25, Reply)

This weekend has been a good one!
Nice day on Saturday meant pissing about in the sun with the kids. Went round the local around 4.30 for an early Mother's Day tea with Mrs Cow and the kids. Ordered food and kids started to kick off as they were hungry. I wandered over to the gambler to show them the lights, etc and stuck £3 in. Daughter presses buttons and dropped the jackpot of £70! WIN!

Food arrives - Moroccan spiced lamb, cooked rare and served with cous cous and roasted veg. Topping it was a Merguez sausage which is fucking amazing! top notch grub indeed, washed down with a few pints of Budvar

Sunday, take Mrs Cow breakfast in bed and chocs/cards. Off down to the beach for an hour, then back home for hotdogs. Mam and Dad round on the afternoon in the sun, then Sunday roast chicken dinner, followed by lovely local ice cream.

Only blot on the landscape was Sunderland getting ass raped by Man City. Ho hum

This week I have work, work and more work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:27, Reply)

breakfast

had to be done.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:31, Reply)

It was a bit difficult with the kids standing there
God loves a tryer though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Morning mate, glad you had a good one
Football embargo today I think?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I don't think so
Filled to the brim with glee, I am.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Understandably so
However your timing is awful
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I can't really be arsed with the footy at the moment
Much like Sunderland, it seems
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

We have Sunderland next week
Nice timing for us, it would seem.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:10, Reply)

We will probably win next week
'cos that's what we do. 7 games and 1 point most likely means we will win the next 3 or something
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Or it could mean that you're shit
I know what you mean though, under diMatteo we had a terrible run, then beat Everton and Newcastle by a country mile, then another terrible run.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

We are shit, yes
But I think at some point Muntari and Sessegnon will remember that they can play football
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I had an excellent weekend
Went to see the football on Saturday, we beat the Scousers for the first time in 30 years. Celebrated that evening with pizza and a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape - keep it under your hat, but that stuff's pretty nice.

Gym on Sunday and then I made Steak Sort Of Diane, including setting fire to brandy in the pan for the first time. It was delicious and I managed not to burn myself/the house down - quite the win!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)

sex, drugz and rock and roll
and far too much nice food. the gym was very painful yesterday, first time in a month... and i'm out for a massive greek tonight too... gah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I've not been in ages
and I had Fire and Stone, Wahaca AND Wagamama's this weekend.

Fatsie.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:40, Reply)

ZOMG fire & stone AND wahaca???
jealous jealous jealous.

i did get maggie jones on sat night though, which was truly awesome.

anyway wahaca and wags are pretty healthy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Damn you both, I want Wahaca now.
I need mackerel thingies. Whatever they were called.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)

WOO let's go! It was yummy last time

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Happy days.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Awesome mexican GLESS

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Steak taco, chicken quesadillas, bean quesadillas, cocktails and churros :/
NOT HEALTHY.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Damn right it's not.
BEAN quesadillas?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Cheese and bean
Obvs. Best things ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:48, Reply)

This weekend was full of LARPlolz
Within minutes of arriving and catching up with old friends I texted a mate saying "I can feel my virginity growing back already". Yes it's nerdy in the extreme, but it was fun.

Sleeping in a tent in early April isn't fun. I'd taken the wrong sleeping bag (my summer one, not my 3 season one), and the temps dropped over night. Both mornings I woke at around 2am to frost on the inside of my tent. Sunday morning was worst, I ended up driving the 30 mins back home at 3am because I could not get back to sleep.

In other news, my target weight (arbitrarily set 3 months ago) has been reached. I celebrated with a pizza.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Congratulations old boy
Excellent feeling, ain't it. The weight loss, not the LARPing. You fucking geek.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)

It is a great feeling
I still want to lose a little more and tone up a bit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:59, Reply)

That's the bastard part
I've only been back in my running regime two weeks and I'm already finding excuses not to go. Am quite annoyed that taking a small amount of MDs on Saturday night was enough to completely knacker me for two days afterwards.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Do Shaun T's Insanity Workout, so I can laugh at someone who also can't use their legs for about an hour afterwards.
I hate exercise in all shapes and forms but this really motivates you, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's one already.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Yes it is
I'll grab any excuse not to cycle to or after work.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to swim at the moment as well
too fucking tired all the time. Admittedly not helped by going to bed at 4am and 3am over the weekend

also, a lot of exercise stuff is boring. I just need to surf more.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I find cycling in the sun enjoyable
I should probably emigrate.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)

my route to and from work is only about 10 minutes on a bike
doesn't really give me good exercise just makes me red in the face when I get there. so I don't bother.

I'd been swimming twice a week since november, but over the last few weeks I've had so much work to do, and then I knackered my back. Already hard to get back into it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)

10 minutes here for me too
And no showers at work make it a less than enjoyable prospect.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)

LAB IN TEXTING WHILST SUPPOSEDLY WITH REAL FRIENDS SHOCKER

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Hahaha.
*high fives*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Hahaha!
If I get texts then it's rude not to reply to them.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

You said you texted him
Basically you have a problem. Well you have lots. This is currently the most annoying
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I did text her
But I also wasn't in the company of anyone when I did. You assume too much.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Only based on statistical evidence gathered from time spent with you
Also remember my assumptions are nearly always right
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I can safely say I've never initiated text conversations with people
While chatting with you or any other friends.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

No you do initiate games, web browsing, stupid aps etc etc though

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Yes, when you're being boring and watching F1

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Well you shouldn't come down on F1 weekend

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

congrats on the target weight. that's fantastic.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Thank you!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:36, Reply)

mEH!

( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)

*Waves*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:51, Reply)

mEH!
*flaps wrist around pathetically*
( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Why so 'mEH!'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I'm fed up.
I have to get back to work. I'll catch you later.
( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I saw Babylon 5 - The Gathering for the first time on Friday night.
Ms Foxtrot has responded to my incredibly generous offer to improve her life by showing her Battlestar Galactica by insisting I educate myself in B5 first. Now, I was expecting it to look a mite dated, especially in comparison to BSG which came 10 years later and is, y'know, the best TV programme ever made.

But fucking HELL.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Is Babylon 5 a Jamacian version of Police 5?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Yes, Jeff

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)

It's not aged well.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:00, Reply)

It has not
Some of the acting is laughable. I am assured that matters improve.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Yeah it does get better when the guy from Tron takes over.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I've just started a fitness workout this morning.
Because reading the independent reviews all over the web have shown it works wonders. It's called Shaun T's Insanity Workout and old Shaun isn't lying with the name. I can't really walk...and it was only the warm up.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I'm using my weights bench and it is killing me!
Off for a run this evening I think
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:13, Reply)

I googled it for reviews
but most of the results seem to be on sites like "discountfitnessdvd.com" and I'm skeptical of their impartiality.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Yeah you have to find independent blogs etc.
A couple mates rave about it as well so that was me sold (aka I downloaded all the DVDs through BitTorrent).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)

saves the shipping & handling, very wise
I'm sure you'll remit Mr Shaun the full amount should you find the product satisfactory
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I accidentally went to the Electric Ballroom again on Friday and hung out with goths.
Good times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Was fat smurf there?
Or Mr DateRapey?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Neither of 'em, at least not that I noticed.
I wasn't noticing very much though, I was disgustingly drunk.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I approve of this
So long as the appropriate facial expression was pulled if Bryan Adams got played.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I don't know.
It's all a blur, a big, messy blur.

On the upside, last week's "Sleep? You don't need to sleep!" brainwrongs meant that I didn't end up in Croydon.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

That is a plus

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:30, Reply)

And you wonder why I call you an alcoholic?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I had an excuse! I had to go to a work birthday party first.
It was awful but drinks were half price until 8. I'd had to stop drinking booze by half nine.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I went home
and had a meal with my dad and got drunk, then went shopping with Mummybadger on Saturday and spent way too much money and then watched MotoGP on Sunday which was freeeking awesome!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I managed to go
from being out running to being in a club inside of an hour. I was quite impressed by this, myself.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

If you go out with Chompy, doing that the other way around is almost a given.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I like this.

(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Did you see the boyfriend this weekend?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Not my boyfriend.
and yes, briefly. Although we had a bit* of a misunderstanding on Friday and things have been rather strained since.

*lot
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Details, if you please

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)

He aimed high

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Ugh, I've whined about it already on here
it was just a stupid misunderstanding and him apparently being insecure. Tried to calm him down but just kept saying the wrong thing, and have only heard from him since saturday to thank me for giving him a lift home.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I was out all weekend
Now I have to trawl through old posts for more info. Cheers.
Oh, and sorry to hear that, now get fixing things!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Meh, I don't want to come across as all clingy though
especially since it's him and not me that needs to MTFU.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Just read back
And yes he does need to MTFU.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

He sounds like a cunt
ditch him and find someone who isn't actually a 12 year old girl inside. This will make you happier and I won't have to read all the whiny shit. kthankxbye
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Hahahaha, YES
AGHHHH, I AM SO ANGRY, GRRRR, LOOK AT MY FACE, I AM STORMING OUT OF HERE AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER, AGHHHHHH, ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY McANGRY. *Storms out the room, grabs coat off banister, slam out the front door so hard a photo falls from the wall*

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

Ermm, can I grab a lift home? BUT I'M STILL NOT SPEAKING TO YOU.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Is it a photo of a pug?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Limited edition print (only 10k to be printed) commomorating the royal wedding but with pugs photoshopped over the head of kate and will.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Hahaha, it wasn't quite like that
he invited me out on saturday thinking it was too short notice and I wouldn't come. But I did, and we chatted and he seemed fine then. I offered him a lift home because I was driving.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:46, Reply)

That's trouble, he shouldn't have invited you out if he didn't want to see you.
Such an early time to put a strike on his card, I bet you a date you can't get him to rack up the other two strikes inside a month.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

texts are lethal
they get totally misinterpreted.

don't text him, berk-o. play it cooooool. if you feel the need, text me instead!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Don't I know it.
and I'm trying very hard to play it cool and not pester him, but I just get impatient and think 'well fuck it, I want to hear from him so I'll text him'.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:48, Reply)

remember my mantra
you don't want a "text-back", you want a "text". ie you want him to initiate contact, not to reply to you.

otherwise it doesn't count.

after a few dates this is irrelevant, but at the beginning, this mantra is gold!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Very true
although if I haven't heard from him by this evening then I will probably cave and text him anyway.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Send a letter
quietly outling your issues and how you think that they can be resolved, explain how you want the relationship to work, but it will take effort and good commuincation from both of you. Then sign it in your own blood.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Seriously are there any good points to this guy?
If you say "oh he's hot" then I'm afraid I will have to be mean
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:57, Reply)

When he's not being a total arse
he's lovely. And he makes me laugh.

and yes, he is hotter than a very hot thing.
(berk, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Oh SMOOTH. I am making a note of this one.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Play it cool, Wooks, play it cool....*falls through bar*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Berk on the rebound, gonz rejoyces.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I spent 6 hours in the pub in the sunshine on Sunday then I had cake
*WINS*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)