It's my birthday soon
What are you going to buy me?

Also I'm having a party with some other people with birthdays near me, what makes a good party, what makes a bad party


,,,,,,,??TWWWWWT?,,,,,,,,,,,,,
?TWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT,,,,,,,,
?HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?,,,
,,,WHW?,,,,,,,,,??WHHHHHHT,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HHHHHHW
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?HHHHHH
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?HHHHHH
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?WHHHHW
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?WHHHHH??
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THHHHHHT?,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,THHHHHHW,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHHHHHW,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHHHHHT?,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,HHHHHHT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,THHHHHT?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,WHHHW?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,THHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,WHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,WHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,??????,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,?THHHHHT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,THHHHHHHHW,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,WHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,WHHHHHHHHH,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,TWHHHHW?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:27, 94 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Also I had a dream that my dad was making Rum in my old room.
Tell me about your dreams.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I had a dream last night where a crazy rasta bloke managed to crash a fishing boat
up a set of stairs at the dock and onto the quayside. I think I need to stop eating cheese
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I keep dreaming about people's skin melting off.
I think I need to stop watching Fringe.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

My wife dreamed she got shot in the head last week
and woke up choking on "blood". I feigned ignorance
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Hello apple.
I have no idea what fringe is. I'm sure it's shit.
Cheered up yet?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Yes yes, I'm fine now.
Its a little like X Files, but with less aliens and more dodgy science and face melting. It's very good.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGKjfxgHFwg
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I might look into it later thanks.
glad you're feeling better.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Watch the link
WATCH IIIIIIIT

Actually, it might be a bit NSFW, depending on how squeamish your boss is.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I HAVE NO SOUND AT WORK
I will say I'll watch it at home then probably forget.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:50, Reply)

You don't really need sound
It's all about the visual.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

You work in a library?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Failure you add question marks makes it a statement and not a question.
So therefore I'm intrigued to encounter this "what" thing that makes a party both good and bad. Is it a new designer drug?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

There you go.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I can't quite see it
FROM SPACE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

that's just a random ASCII eroteme
it's hardly part of either of the above sentences so is no improvement.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

That's the best you're getting.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

An 'I love Milton Keynes' keyring.

( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

key cock
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Milton Cocknes?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

that too.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Is that where they dip "Larrrrdan" people in cleaning fluid?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Will you cry if you want to?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Good parties should be relaxed
Any party where you "have to do this/that" is notoriously shite. Everyone, chill the fuck out, get some beer and maybe a BBQ on. Stand around, talk to people, drink loads, eat loads, win.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Easy innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

No Twister then?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Or Risk
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

strip twister is good for a laugh.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

It can be, definitely

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

judging by the size of my flat
and the amount of people coming, there won't be enough space for strip twister.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Then I'm not coming.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

You're not coming because of exams you're going to miss out.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

It rather depends on the party company, of course.
I'm pretty sure Stephen Hawking and Anne Widdecome wouldn't be the ideal strip twister companions.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Unless you were watching them both play it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Left bollock Red.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

it's when that's followed with right bollock blue that it all goes wrong.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

What about balloons, do I need balloons?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Everyone needs balloons

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

balloons baboons
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Or them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

It's my birthday soon too
Therefore I suggest we buy the same thing for each other, nothing.

There's shitloads of birthdays at the minute, it's getting stupid now!

Alt: Good parties - The right company, booze, chilled out music, takeaway at the end of the night
Bad parties - Running out of booze, arguments, drunken girls crying, spilled drinks, shit music.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Oh yes, this^
No crying girls or arguments
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

So you see, I just had to know her name, I needed to know the name of the women I was going to marry one day.
I turned to Jack, and I said "Yous just gotta get me the name of that girl" and he laughed in his deep negro tone and said "Well young Pops, if my memory do a serve me right, she's the daughter of the General". What a conanldrum I was in, I was just a private in this man's army, I'm not a carrer soldur, I only signed up so I can see the likes of Hong Kong... they promised me that I could be seeing the whole world, well, I ain't even been south of croydon before, let alone in Hong Kong. I did hear me a tall tell of how they eat with two sticks rather than a fork, they call them Chopsticks, heck, I didn't ever did hear such a thing before, I gotta sees that.

There was a big dance going on in the hall, rumour heard it that [some obscure band that only Monty knows about] was going to be playing, and she would be there. I just had to get myself in on that, you hears me? I just had too.

But first I needed to get myself a tux, I had 5 dollars to my name that Papa gave me, in case of one of them dere emergancies. Well, if this wasn't an emergancy, then I don't know what it is. Oh gee oh gosh, I was gonna meet first the first time the wife I'm going to marry ! Little did I know those japs were at this time launching their terrible attack on Pearl Harbour, and I'd never make it to the dance, but that's another story.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

How are your innards Gonz?
You were getting a bit wobbly last week.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

They're not to bad today,
I basiclly rebooted my guts over the last week, by not eating for 3-4 days and then eating very little for the next few days until stuff starts working again. The whole thing is exorsting and painful, nearly booked myself into A&E a couple of times.

But today it is soo much better so hopefully I'm over the little attack, I think maybe I ate something bad.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Glad to hear you are not too bad.
Ask your quack for a big bag of morphine. For the pain.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Cheers dude !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I like it when everyone's fucked off, there isn't too much damage, nothing has seemingly been nicked, and the police haven't been called out
the drunk girl crying over how fat she is in the toilets I can take or leave
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Exactly this
Mess I can deal with, damage is not good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Something about the Nazi party lololololol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:58, Reply)

As has been said:
Bad party: 'organised fun'. Fuck off. I'm not coming dressed as a spastic from Star Wars and I don't want to play any fucking games. I am an adult. I want to drink heavily and take drugs, not play fucking musical pissing chairs. Fuck off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:01, Reply)

and that's why no one invites you to parties.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Ah but they do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

provincial little party blog is not of interest to anyone
and parties have been done to death. and birthday beakering has also been done to death. can't somebody think of a more interesting question, for fuck's fucking sake?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:01, Reply)

how's this for a question:
why don't you shut up and fuck off?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:01, Reply)

because you would miss me too much
next?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:02, Reply)

flippant.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:03, Reply)

i am in severe amounts of pain today
because the washing machine has snapped the wire in my bra and i didn't notice before putting it on. now i have the choice between having a really sharp piece of metal stabbing one of my breasts at regular but unexpected intervals - or tugging it out and therefore having one of them lifted slightly higher than the other. which is not a great look. this is making me intensely irritable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

*stabby bra lowfives*

( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

they should make men like you
wear these things in their underwear
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:12, Reply)

why would I want to wear your tits in my underwear?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

shits and giggles, Vippers
shits and giggles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

having rswipe hanging by her tits from my boxers doesn't fit my definition of shits and giggles

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Hmmm. Enduring image, isn't it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

they'd get all stretched :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

yeah, but he can always buy some new ones.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

i meant my breasts
now i am thinking about vipros' stretchy gingery scrotum.

thanks badger. no, really. thanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I was actually talking about his boxer shorts getting stretched due to critical breast volume
but, y'know, if you want to think long and hard about his pendulous wrinkled coppery scrotum, staring at you like the face of a particularly sad baby orang-utan, then go right ahead. No-one's stopping you
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

gingery?
where the hell did you get that from?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I dunno either
but I'm running well with that, so don't spoil the moment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

it's too late
I've taken offence
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

*starts tugging it out*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:08, Reply)

it one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:09, Reply)

haha
good work, boys
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

You could remove your bra and go for the "Massi women in the sarengetti" look.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:15, Reply)

+ve

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

'National Geographic tits' (c) Viz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

You could always take the wire out
and then spend the day sitting or standing at a slight angle to level them out?

that, or gaffer tape the sharp bit up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Just unleash the puppies
Let them both swing wild and free
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I do that sometimes.
it's liberating.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 May 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Me too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Hon! lovely as you are, there's not much there to swing.
*jealouses*
( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

You're jealous of chompy's micro-penis?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

this is true. I want bigger ones.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 16 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

hmm. Feral breasts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

what part of my desk
(which is covered in deeds and documents and textbooks) do you think might contain something as practical as gaffer tape?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Pop out to M&S and buy a new one ffs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

the m&s near me is only a simply food
i'd have to fashion my own from two coconut halves and some celery strings.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

And your point is?
The castaway look is very much in vogue this summer, just look at Monty, he's got the "been stuck on an island in the same clothes, without a wash or shave for 3 months" look down to a t!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:36, Reply)

sellotape, then. Or blu-tack.
honestly, for someone as smart as you, you're showing a poor grasp of improvisation....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

awww
you think i'm smart??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

it's probably too late to drop in an "allegedly" now, isn't it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Good parties are where you fall down the stairs because you've drunk so much gin
bad parties are when you throw up green bile the next morning.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Both of these equal a good party

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

An extremely drunk friend of mine once took a shit in the beer bath
he then remembered it was his house and he had to fish it out...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)