Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Today is International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO apparently)Should we try to implement this on OT today? The downside of course is that it would rule out most of the chat here.
Alt: What do you realistically think you could live without? At a push I could live without chocolate - and probably also Guinness, but I'd never be able to go to my pub quiz again.
Alt Alt: Hit me with some amusing acronyms.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:26, 227 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Kroney - "I can't live, if living is without pooooooooooo"(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
Factually correctas without the ability to poo, waste would build up inside my gut, which would then either rupture, or I'd be poisoned by leaking toxins.
/deliberate misinterpretation blog
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Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
Surprisingly, I'm against this ideabecause I don't want everyone to stop talking to me.
Alt: Meat, as has been evidence over the last 9 years spent dating a vegetarian. Although I could (and mostly do) live without it, I'd rather not given the choice. No way could I live without chocolate.
Alt alt: In honour of their consistent pigtail-pulling flirtation, I vote that the phrase "I was in NAM" in future reflect sexual congress with Naked Ape and Monty.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)
That would explain the haunted look in their eyesAnd why so many NAM veterans lose themselves in drink and drugs.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)
Yes but regular Nam veterans discovered drugs AFTER NamI think Monty in particular has already dabbled a little.*
*May contain mild traces of under-statement.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)
It's easily doneWe all know plenty of 70's throwback Nazi sympathizers with a proclivity for the words "fucking shit"
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)
I don't think a vegetarian saying they can live without meat counts honeyThat's like me saying I can live without peanuts, because they're fucking horrible.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)
Wow, I knew you were a bit odd, but really, I'm surprised.I'm not sure we can be friends any more. Or if we are, I'm going to spend every conversation eating peanuts and flicking the shells at you.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Oh, sorry, I just assumed after you let me have a ride on your mum and your mrs at the same time.I do apologise.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)
he didn't have a lot of choiceyou are so corpulent that you are 'having a ride' on half of London as I type.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
I can't think of anything you or anyone else could have done which would be more likely to result in the termination of a friendshipI have been assured by our mutual acquaintance that you're a lovely bloke IRL, or at least were back in the day. Which makes me wonder what happened since then to leave you so embittered
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)
he's made the mistake of thinking you are serious on here Al(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:52,
Reply)
I don't reallyOn another day I might have worded the above better into a decent wind-up. Today I just can't be fucking arsed.
Which is very bad news for my sex life, as you can imagine.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I know the answer.Despite mummy's promises that it would happen 'but just later than the other boys', when the lofty eyries of 5'8" NEVER CAME AROUND, things became dark in the little man's world. It was like a shadow passing across little Al's sun. Somehow the spokey-dokes in the wheels of his homosexual bicycle shined a little less brightly after that day.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
Sobbing he began to eatthe creamy profiteroles and other high calorie treats could give him the security and comfort of billowing mounds of flesh, and by God if he couldn't be six foot tall, he'd be six foot wide
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:03,
Reply)
I'm not a homophobe, and I very rarely say anything homophobic here.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I wouldn't say that most of us are gay bashingwe are just pointing out that you are gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay, it's just that you are, and we feel the need to tell you. In detail.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
Are you outing Chompy here?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:46,
Reply)
No, gay men in my experience are generally very charming and wittyand really good at talking to girls
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)
I've found in the past two months that I can happily live without marijuana.This was a pleasant surprise.
I could live without pretty much all material things - I think the only thing I wouldn't want to live without would be basic health. If I was paralysed or whatever I'd rather not be here.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
One leg, yes, but none and no arms either = kill me please(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:50,
Reply)
Do it yourselfOh, you can't
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
*rolls onto the M25 and waits*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:54,
Reply)
good answerI could make do with no legs I suspect, as long as there was something to which you could attach artificial ones.
I'm terrified of hurting my hands though. Would hate to not be able to play the guitar.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
it's been a significant part of my life for quite a while thoughand I love it. it's not just an interest.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:58,
Reply)
You look like you love it when you play on stage...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
my relaxed face is quite angry lookingcan't be helped.
I got mocked so thoroughly when we first started for pulling inadvertant guitar faces that it's been drummed out of me.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:05,
Reply)
I remember you mentioned thjis ages ago, and I watched that odd video of DTTABplaying with a guy in a bear suit dancing
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:07,
Reply)
that fucking weirdo(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:11,
Reply)
What possesses a fellow, eh?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:13,
Reply)
in his case a face-twisting poltergeist(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:19,
Reply)
The more I fail at lifethe funnier I become. By July I should be an awesome standup comedian
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:28,
Reply)
I was talking about the guy in the bear suit(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:21,
Reply)
I cannot see anything wrong with a guitar face if it's genuine.Hendrxi was a right gurner - and as for Santana, Christ alive.
It only looks stupid if you're shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:15,
Reply)
I agreeand my faces weren't that bad. In proportion to my ability I think, but I got the piss taken quite a lot and it gave me a complex. The culprits deny doing it now. Cunts.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:16,
Reply)
Ah man, fuck 'em.(I fear I may have fairly 'mobile' features when playing guitar myself. Although since my cat left there have been no witnesses)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:19,
Reply)
Unfortunately it came at a formative timeI'm good enough now that I could happily pull faces, but before I was a bit more timid and unsure of myself so the damage went deep.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
I know mate, I do understand that really, I'd fucking hate to not be able to dance any moreI was attempting to find humour by inferring that lots of people can't play guitar.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)
This I can agree with the thought of going blind scares me
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
Okay thankscould be worse. You?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:12,
Reply)
Hungover and pathetically self-indulgentFootball aside, am absolutely dandy thank you :-)
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:18, Reply)
Head lice! ShudderNot me, one of the learners.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:46,
Reply)
Morning mateConcerning our agreement. Where does last night's result leave us?
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Looks like you are the teabag-ee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
This is bloody funny to be fairWas hoping for an actual response from Bobby, there's important shit to address.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Sorry was teaching. Both our teams are shit. End of. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:16,
Reply)
Don't think we had a bet just a general ban on football talkI really can't be arsed to teach today, they are being cunts.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:26,
Reply)
I could live without about 98% of the TV channels I receivebut, y'know, one of them might show that Golden Girls episode I like, so it's best to be safe.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:47,
Reply)
I could live without going to workI reckon it would be tough at first but I'd solider on
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
I would dearly love not to have to workhow are you?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
Yeah not too bad thanks.I have been offered another part part time job. Debating if I want to take it as I could do most of it whilst at my "proper" job. Couple extra hundred a month. Decisions decisions.
I hear you're still hating the secondment?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
what's the new offer?secondment is just fucking boring and seems pointless. Hate is probably too strong for it, because it's only one night I'm away and there are perks to it. I'm just sick of it.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
reckon it's worth it?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:59,
Reply)
dunno hence the debating.I will discuss it with smart people on Thursday
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
Well if you don't want it, send it Lusty's way - she's talking about taking on extra work*.*to pay for a penis extension for me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
Now that's a scaffold I wouldn't mind seeing.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:14,
Reply)
Getting the planning permission was murder.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:17,
Reply)
Am I reading this wrong?Because this reads as though you're quite keen on seeing Monty's penis.
(
Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:17,
Reply)
Make of it what you will.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:18,
Reply)
you were asking me for a facial yesterday....(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:23,
Reply)
Yeah, he's going to look lovingly at itas he walks to the bus stop.
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Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:23,
Reply)
If I was most of you would be dead by now(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
I could live without all sorts of thingsAll diseases known to man would take up a large portion of the list I suspect.
Other things might be things I don't like, I could live quite happily without ever biting my tongue accidentally for instance.
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WormuIus, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
How do you accidentally bite your tongue when it has all of that chin to hide in?(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:55,
Reply)
You're scarcely noted for your tendency to bite your tongue in this forum (, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:56, Reply)
I certainly don't say everything that springs to mindMostly because I was taught that if you've got nothing nice to say...
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:01, Reply)
I need to employ this tactic on here and IRL more often(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:01,
Reply)
It'd boring here if everyone was nice to each other, you piss weasel(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:04,
Reply)
Sadly I must agreeWe mostly have to be polite in real life, we come here to blow off some steam by abusing strangers. Except Monty, obv. He's here for the lols.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:08, Reply)
www.shadowlocked.com/images/stories/features/invasion/Sutherland_scream_Invasion_Of_The_Body_Snatchers_Kaufman_1978.jpg
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
I could live without most stuffand have done for periods of time. I'd rather not, but it's possible. To echo Monty though, healthwise if I became a paralytic I'd off myself.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:02,
Reply)
Needs MOAR gin for paralytic(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:03,
Reply)
I thought paralytic was a description for being absolutely pissed(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:05,
Reply)
HahahaI'm violating my "never click a post with poor punctuation" rule for this.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)
It is, hence my response and your responseDon't doubt yourself sporticus
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:06,
Reply)
medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/paralytic
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:07,
Reply)
You learn something new every dayTa!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:09,
Reply)
Horse disease lolsparalytic myoglobinuria
a disease of horses characterized by [...] muscle weakness, often to the point of being unable to get up. Called also azoturia and Monday morning disease.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:12,
Reply)
*sexes up bird with pink hair*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
UR MC Miker G and DJ Sven AICM little bit of Amsterdam.RIGHT?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
I'll be ring-a-rang-a-donging in my head all day now.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:32,
Reply)
well, she's legal nowbut I guarantee you'll feel dirty afterwards.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:22,
Reply)
it is informallybut it's also used to mean total paralysis.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:07,
Reply)
i could live without my clientshappily, oh so very fucking happily.
could not live without diet coke or blow-jobs. the rest is just filler!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:12,
Reply)
You really like giving blow jobs that much?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:13,
Reply)
I read thatas having been written in a really desperately hopeful tone of voice
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:26,
Reply)
You are about 15 mins too late(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:32,
Reply)
I am now deflated and slightly crusty(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:39,
Reply)
they are a good way to keep men under control(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:33,
Reply)
I could just fancy a glass of cold Coke.My throat is as dry as a Frenchman's bathmat.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:35,
Reply)
i have a very cold can of diet coke at my right hand RIGHT NOW(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:36,
Reply)
A mind like a Welsh railwayand now as dry as a Frenchman's bathmat.
I'm learning lots of new phrases today. I like educational days.
(
Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:37,
Reply)
morning bumdersOh, I just broke anti-homophobia day, didn't I?
Alt: I have found in the past I can live without most things when I have to, even things I swore I could never live without.
However, I seem to be unable to live without opening my big mouth and saying something monumentally stupid. It's a talent, I swear.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:21,
Reply)
Morning LOINThank you for the lovely texts last night. Fair cheered me up, until I started thinking about the football again
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)
well, I'm glad one of us is happyfootball aside...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:28,
Reply)
This response worries meWhat's wrong? Tell Dr Foxtrot.
*pats couch*
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:31, Reply)
I could live without televisionand have done for quite some years now. I could probably also manage without eating bread or meat, although I'd rather not.
I couldn't live without chocolate, cheese or sex. I've never had all three at the same time though, I hasten to add.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)
steady on,I thought that was Bella's idiom
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:27,
Reply)
wellno chunky spicy tomato basil soup for lunch, then.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:35,
Reply)
you could have a bread roll with it(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:36,
Reply)
That's harsh.I never said anything.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:52,
Reply)
I was being joyful.Fucking hell.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:29,
Reply)
don't do thatit's unsettling
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:30,
Reply)
that's why she didn't recognise itit's like rocking horse shit, innit
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:31,
Reply)
I'm not sure what the rocking horse thing alludes tobut yes, this. Sarcasm is much more forthcoming than joy from you. Although now I feel rather ungrateful, so HELLO MY DEAR MONTERS, how the devil are you??
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)
rare as rocking horse shit(because rocking horses obviously don't shit)
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:34,
Reply)
I am fine, thank you for asking,I trust you are, too?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:34,
Reply)
I saw Paul Foot on television last night and found him to be very funny.Is he, or was he having an unusually good day?
If you like Eddie Izzard please don't reply to this as I am not interested in your opinion.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:32,
Reply)
Wow, a lot of Izzard fans in today, then.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:35,
Reply)
Have you watched the new Stewart Lee shows.You'll either love it or hate it but the london one made me lol.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)
I quite like him but I've not seen anything of his for a while.I shall investigate, ta.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:38,
Reply)
he's shit beyond almost all beliefI watched ten minutes of the London one and it was dire
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:40,
Reply)
I am keen to see it now. WHO IS RIGHT???(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:47,
Reply)
quite obviously meas I said above my sense of humour has been finetuned by failure
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:49,
Reply)
Nah, no point.Alt: I could live without this fucking checking I have to do this morning, just because the customer is thick as pigshit.
Alt Alt: I'm quite a fan of the use of BOBFOC.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:34,
Reply)
We have one for someone in workBTSS - Big Tits, Slopey Shoulders
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:38,
Reply)
It is indeed!*wiggles eyebrows*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:45,
Reply)
In a drunken conversation me and a mate came up with a theory thatChinese/oriental women are either:
a. Beautiful beyond reproach
b. Fucking ugly
There appears to be no middle ground. Option b spawned the acronym PDU or Peedu (Pig Dog Ugly)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:37,
Reply)
Explainwithout mentioning sandwiches or blankets
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:39,
Reply)
Roll on The Floor Masturbating?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:43,
Reply)
YesI had no idea it was so popular.
Masturbation, that is, not the acronym.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)
EyethangyewUsed to work for a website that sold cameras an' that. The number of people who were convinced that the quality of their pictures was my fault rather than theirs was astonishing. I actually had a print-out of the XKCD comic entitled "RTFM" next to my monitor.
(, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)
SomeonewhosenicknamebeginswithRThe Fucking Mong
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:46,
Reply)
PEBKAC is one that is used a lot in my workplace, as we work with retards.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:39,
Reply)
Always takes me ages to remember that one(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:50,
Reply)
Loose My Gonads to Fuck, Yo.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:51,
Reply)
let me get the something?not heard that one
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:52,
Reply)
Let me Google that for you(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:54,
Reply)
Let Me Google That For YouEDIT: MINDPISS!
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:54,
Reply)
'Like My Goatse? Tell Friends, Yes?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:54,
Reply)
Crashes To Desktop?I don't see how it's applicable, really.
(
Kroney, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:04,
Reply)
given Darth's problem with DerbyI'm assuming he means Common to Derby
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:05,
Reply)
Circling The Drain I think(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:25,
Reply)
I heard that FLK was common in my local hospital where I grew up(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:00,
Reply)
Faeces-obsessed Like Kroney?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:02,
Reply)
When I worked for British Gasthere was a reorganisation and various departments became Business Units. For about a day, until someone pointed out that this made the relevant Managers into BUMs.
I also like YOYO - You're On Your Own.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 May 2011, 12:24,
Reply)
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