Good morrow, you sorry excuses for people.
Good weekend? Mine was pretty good, thanks for asking. I went to Sir John Soane's Museum which was actually faintly unnerving. It was like seeing inside the home of a nutcase. Nice to see Hogarth's 'Rake's Progress' paintings up close though, along with the sarcophagus of Seti I and a million other items. Then went on a pub crawl which was costly but hugely entertaining.

Sunday I got a text 'from my daughter' which was quite thoughtful of my ex - and helped me to cope with the heartbreak that was BGB NOT FUCKING BOTHERING TO CALL EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID SHE WOULD.

What did you cunts get up to - and what scintillating joys does the week ahead hold for you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:16, 157 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My weekend was too boring to be of interest to anybody.
Next weekend will be better, as I have some paint that needs watching while it dries.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Sympathy reply to sympathy reply.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Why not make something up? Everyone else does.
Something like 'I went round Neil Buchanan's and we all went out LARPing, then we all ate loads of ribs lol' or somesuch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:33, Reply)

I've had an imagination failure.
However, the young lady I work with is looking so hawt today, what with the tight skirt split up the back and the black stockings, I don't need much of an imagination at the moment.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

POIDH

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I'll try.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Don't let us down

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Aw Monty, are you sad that we didn't invite you out for ribs?
If you were less of a cunt, perhaps we would.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)

My laptop imploded
But the insurance folk texted me £900 voucher to spend in Comet, which is weird. Toying with the idea of spunking the lot on another Vaio, or splitting it and buying a not so bad Asus and a Pentax DSLR. Would put me £100 over budget, but it would a whole new world of snappy photo goodness which I have been lusting after for many years.

Then I am off on holiday next week, not going anywhere, but not being in work is like an instant Caribbean break. Just good to geyt away from the fucking throbbers.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:30, Reply)

I could do with a fucking holiday myself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Bangkok's your place then

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Or Romania.
Those sexy, sexy orphans...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:38, Reply)

Sorry to hear that BGB wasn't in touch
She was lovely on Saturday night. I sent her a text yesterday instructing her to give you a big wet kiss from me. Obviously it didn't arrive.
*Sadface*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Oh well, I suppose this means I have a big wet kiss in the bank for another time.
I'm trying to put on a brave face about being STOOD UP LIKE A BIG LOSER.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:37, Reply)

Nothing a danger wank won't put right.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I can't.
I already had one of those on the tube, and my bollocks resemble nothing so much as Old Mother Hubbard's sideboard at this present time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Are you a dried out withered husk of a man these days?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:43, Reply)

every day, surely?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:44, Reply)

I'm running on fumes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Turps fumes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Just keep frigging
Until a single tear of painful clear liquid issues forth.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Had a small house party on Friday, that was good fun
It was a friend's birthday on Saturday night, went out for a few drinks, left at about 2am, woke up feeling fresh as a daisy on Sunday, and I spent the day watching TV.

This week will be fantastic from Thursday onwards, as that's when my friend gets home, and I can't wait to see her, having missed her like crazy these last 11 months.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Ever since she went away, ev'ry hour and ev'ry day?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Most certainly
EDIT: Also, I'm reading this in the style of 'Something's gotten hold of my heart', and now it's stuck in my head. Shit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

I don't like it when Jessy J grabs her crotch and throws it in front of a camera, it's very unbecoming of a lady. She could do worst than take some lessons on how to be a proper prime british rose from chickenlady.
I bet instead of wearing really tight clothes she'll be wearing frilly dresses inside a month.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Chickenlady is only proper until she's had a glass of wine
Then the illusion breaks, and you see her for the fiend she is. It's rather entertaining.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I can't imagine CL stripping down to her tights, suddenly producing a layer of dirt and sweat, and then grabbing her crotch and launching her hips into the camera yelling "DO IT LIKE A DUDE".
.... excuse me, i.... I need to go for a moment.... I'll be back in 3 minutes and 80 seconds.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Ate too much, drank too much and watched lots of films
I feel like crawling under my desk and going to sleep but I've got to be all professional and interview someone later. This is my first time on the other side of the table, could be fun.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Any good films?
Ask them if they're aware of 'Monkeyfacing', if they do, throw the sexual deviants out!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I got Paul for Fathers Day and it was pretty meh
I rewatched The Prestige and I'm pretty sure the ending was different this time.

It's a code monkey I'm interviewing so I'm taking the deviance as read.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I thought Paul was ok
I was expecting it to be shit though so it may be relative.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Similar
I feared it would be meh and ended up enjoying it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Ask them what will happen if they divide by zero, and if their answer is anything but 'THE WORLD WILL END', hire them.
If anyone thinks they're being funny by giving an OTT answer to that, kill them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I watched this on Friday night
which if you didn't see it because you have a life or some shit you might enjoy.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00wmdqs/Festivals_Britannia/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I have that saved on my BT telly-box thingie.
It's fucking brilliant. Also it features my dear pal Rick who is the chap being interviewed about the Castlemorton rave.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I had a feeling you might know someone involved somewhere along the line
Hawkwind were mentioned A LOT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I've been reading, and I went shopping today.
I had fun.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)

played a great gig on Friday
I'm not sure what happened for the rest of the weekend, I can only assume that it was good because I feel fucked today.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Did you have chompy over to stay?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

not as far as I know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Do you feel a little sore?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I do not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Any blood in your stools?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)

this has become tiresome
I can remember my weekend it was excellent. I had steak tartare on saturday night at a brasserie run by french people. It was fucking amazing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Aren't we a little gumpy git this morning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

not particularly
and it's a bit of a leap to infer that from what I've posted

edit: you prat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Ok then I'll assume that you are full of the joys of Spring
Why was your gig so good?

Edit: you ninny
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I wouldn't go that far...
we played really well. Our new songs are a lot of fun and are being well received. Managed to play a bunch of guitar solos which I was really pleased with, including some good wah-wah pedal action.

Turns out the sound guy recorded the gig as well which is cool.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)

We went to Pendennis castle to see the cannons being fired
Which was awesome. As we were leaving they were firing off the MASSIVE Long Tom gun from WWII. At the very moment it fired a car was reversing from its space and BANG. An old guy got out of the next car and said "Oh my God" Went round to inspect his perfectly OK car and stared at the other driver who smiled and drove off with the old man yelling at him. Obviously he thought the gun was the car hitting him. How he thought it left no damage I don't know but his wife got out acting as if she had major whiplash and they were still inspecting the car when we left.
( Peej, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)

You'd have loved it there
5 hours of guns being fired.
( Peej, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Castle - check
Guns - check

Sounds rather my cup of tea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Have you heard about the guy who decided to burn down a castle because he was upset about what they were charging him to get married there?
Fucking heathen
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

What a complete cunt.
Like those Norwegian 'black metal' spastics who burnt down a 900-year-old wooden church. Utter, utter cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)

What, Lordi?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Neither Norwegian nor black metal
b3th, you have scored zero points.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Didn't they win Eurovision for Norway though?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

finland

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Morning you
Good weekend?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

See below.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Have done now, apologies for slow reactions.
And yet I hear you were DRUNK last night?!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I NO RITE?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Anyone who thinks burning churches, etc is retarded.
I was going to write 'old buildings', but I'm not sure how much I'd mourn if someone firebombed parliament.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Parliament is a lovely building.
Shame about the people inside it, on the other hand. Perhaps a low-yield neutron bomb might sort things out.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:00, Reply)

The bomb that kills people, but leaves buildings untouched?
Made by an architect with no mates.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

The ultimate capitalist bomb.
Destroys people, not property!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

that pisses me off
one of the only good things about religion is that it leads to awesome buildings. Or it used to anyway. Modern churches are mostly vulgar and shite.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I went to Galway a few years back, and had a snoop round the Cathedral
The imagery was fantastic, it was a beautiful building, right up until I walked into the SHOP in the middle of it. Fucking ruined the entire experience for me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

that sucks
my sister-in-law lives in Wells, and we went in the cathedral there a little while ago. Stunning builing, and there was a proper choir practising in there. Not your shit C of E hymn type choir, but a proper latin chanting one. I sat down and listened for a good 15 minutes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Wells is a really gorgeous cathedral.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Yeah except when I went there
I was being *constantly* harrassed to donate to the fucking place. Put me right off giving them any money at all. So I didn't. Fuck you, yokels.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Bastards.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)

And they people of the cloth.
Makes me fucking sick.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

it's an outrage

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

They were basically following me round shaking tins at me.
So I paid them back by ignoring all their little signs and flash-photographing all their displays into oblivion.

Donate that, cunts.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Plus, ghastly paddies all over the fucking show.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Well, that too.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Ok I guess.
The week holds the usual boring mix of "Have you turned it off and on again" and wanking myself to sleep to distract from the epic pain of being single.

So yes, the usual.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

You, Sir, are in entirely the right place.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Seems to be.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)

It's not a *good* place
but it is the right place.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)

My weekend was - just for a fucking change - unremittingly tedious.
I really must look into getting one of those 'life' things that all the youngsters are raving about.

In other news: god help me, it's computers for the terrified this morning. I'm going to try them with photos today.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)

what is this "Life" you speak of?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure
but I've heard people talking about them, and they sound fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Introduce your victims to b3ta straight away.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)

My old dears have a combined age of about a thousand.
They really wouldn't get b3ta. Or computers. *sigh*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)

I want them to leave the internet to me, so I have more bandwidth.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I bought a shiny new laptop
and arranged broadband, cable and a phone for my new flat. SEVENTH OF JULY they're sending an engineer round, the dawdling cunts. How do they expect me to steal movies and look at naked ladies until then??
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Go to McDonalds
You can eat burgers while you're doing it, and get proper fat.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Just hook up your phone and use it as a modem.
/Sensible.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I actually looked into this at the weekend
there's several homebrew apps to do it but the installation process for apps appears to be b0rked on my phone :(

I'm going to have to uninstall and reinstall the installer I think. What joy.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)

If you have an Android phone, Easy Tether is the way to go.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

^this
My Galaxy can create a wifi network if I ever need one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Palm Pré
Just to be different.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

There's always one awkward sod.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)

two
Noel has one as well.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

My weekend was fantastic, thank you
This is technically not accurate, as parts of yesterday were tedious and all of it was spent with a stealthy hangover and desire to get more sleep, but Saturday was so brilliant that it more than compensated. Ms Foxtrot's parents' wedding. Went just about as well as could possibly have been hoped.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I hope you let the other boys and girls have their turn with the face painter.
You big nancy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I went last ACKSHULLY
She was really fucking good
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)

What a gentleman.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

she were the crowd of men were
+when I asked to look like the star of a bukkake film
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Plasterer's radio innit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

did it read
HAP.E DAD DAY, .LUV U 4EVA XXX. Mother's 60th and mates' leaving do. Shattered today. This week I will mostly be writing essays.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Student in 'does work' shocker.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Got to be done I'm afraid. Gonna go swimming first though.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

No it did not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)

never mind, there's always next year.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

My Mother - my fucking MOTHER, uses 'txt spk' sometimes
because she cannot get her head round predictive text. It makes me fucking sick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)

parentsshouldnttext.com/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

luckily my folks can't text so am able to avoid most of their calls
but I a have 8 more weeks at theirs 'til I move out. Counting the seconds.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I worked and slept
Later I may be seeing some lovely people for board game fun. Hopefully trains and crayons *HINT*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I've got to go to bloody London tomorrow
stupid early train, stupid thing all day in Hammersmith, then a train home.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)

No time for a pint then?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

unfortunately not
my train gets in at 9, thing starts at 10. Finishes at half 3ish and my train is at 16:10 or thereabouts. I would've stayed up there, but I have to go to Dorset first thing on Wednesday for my secondment.

Hectic week, and I have my stag do at the weekend.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Ah well.
What're you doing for the stag do - or are you in the dark about it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

we're going to Cornwall camping
other than that I know almost nothing.

One of my mate's parents managed to let slip that the guys have clubbed together and bought some kind of massive tent for us to hang out in. I suspect that we will just be getting wasted and surfing if there is some.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I fear the weather might not be too good for camping.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I'm hoping the forecast I checked is wrong
because it currently says 270 mph winds.

as long as we have enough big tents and vans etc. we'll be fine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I proved beyond all doubt that I'm better than all the garages I've taken my car to.
Then I did some tidying up, played some computer games and had a splash or two of white whilst watching Quantum of Solace.

So enjoyable in a quiet sort of a way.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

QoS is a terrible film.
And I should know - because I'm really 'into film', yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

He's no Dalton, that's for certain.
But I have decided that I like the new Bond franchise. Even if it is a bit post-Bourneist.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I thought Casino Royale was superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I need to steal that one.
But I can never find it in Blockbuster.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

David Niven was great.
*film joke*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

He's my friend's uncle, dontchaknow

( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Really?
Legend!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I going to put forward our little plan in a bit.
So people can start getting excited.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)

There will be fluid everywhere.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Definitely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I've just found Monty's daily text to Lusty when he wakes up


Turns out his name is Mark, who'd have thought it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Hahah that's excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Had me chuckling for a good 5 minutes before I could post it here.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It truly is.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

2 days on the sauce to celebrate a wedding.
The wedding was good, the food was good and the wet weather didn't put the mockers on things.

I'm shattered now though. Oh, Monty. Sorry to say that I never bothered buying a lottery tickets, so I won't be getting you the George costume.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

DAMN YOU TO HELL.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Let's be honest though.
How often would you have worn it.

Once - at a push - before getting cheesed off with people following you, looking for great lager.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)

No way - I'd wear it all the time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)

In that case
I'll be sure to buy a ticket next Friday or whenever the next Euro lottery draw is.

And then insist, should I win of course, that you post a picture every day of you in your George outfit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)

No problem.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

If I win, I'll hold you to that.
*Prays for lottery win*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I've got a Polish wedding coming up at some point
I'm the best man. Apparently I'm not allowed to refuse any drinks offered to me for three days straight. This will not end well.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Marnin.
I had a good weekend. I went to a food festival, got rained on, saw some lovely people, slept a lot, and got drunk at a pub. Delightful.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That ticks most of the boxes for a good-weekend!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Apple and I performed a doubles pole routine at my dance school's showcase on Saturday night
it was terrifying but we were awesome and everyone cheered so yay.

Obligatory empowering comment.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I watched the video.
too blurry, too far away and too many clothes.


seriously though, it's cool to see it in motion. The two of you did really well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

thanks!
we're going to film it again tonight in class so we've got a good copy of it before we get old and fat.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

good thinking
you don't have long to go
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I watched it too
I kept waiting for the bit where you lezzed out but it never happened. I want my 3 minutes back!
( Peej, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

That bit where Apple climbs up and around me and we hug,
you can't see from the angle of the video but we snog a bit too. That's why everyone cheered.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

NNNNGAAAAH.
Sorry, I know I've not been on here for a while, but I need to vent before I make a head-shaped hole in my desk. I have just had the following conversation with a colleague:
Colleague: I think I need to get a dongle because the wireless signal's really weak in my room.
Crow: But your laptop's already got a wireless receiver in it, surely?
Co: Yes.
Crow: You can't solve the problem by sticking extra aerials onto it. Have you thought about getting a repeater to boost the signal?
Co: I don't see how that would help.
Cr: Well, it's designed to pick up your weak wireless signal and re-broadcast it.
Co: I am not sure how well that would work though
Cr: Why not?
Co: Well if the signal is weak how will it be able to rebroadcast it any better?
Cr: Because that's what it's designed to do.
Co: But the signal in my room is as weak as you can have before it cuts out, and in fact it cuts out a lot while i use it...
Cr: But that's the whole point. It's designed to receive a weak signal and boost it. It's much more sensitive than your wireless card.
Co: I'm not sure how well it would work though...
This has been going on for a good ten minutes now. Oh fucking hell she's whinging about her boyfriend again now. What a fucking great way to start a morning....

On a lighter note, Monts, thank you again for that tip-off about the Santana doc. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:18, Reply)

punch her in the throat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Unfortunately my IM program doesn't have a button for that...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Someone should invent a "punch in the throat" smilie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

suggest something really stupid that she would believe
like wrapping her laptop in tinfoil
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I like this course of action.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Some people are beyond help. Say to her:
"Fine, go buy your dongle. When that doesn't work, which it won't, then do what I tell you. You can thank me for solving the problem for you at the same time as kicking yourself for being a dick".

I'm well-liked at my work.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)

And I thought your rapport with your colleagues had improved after you stopped stockpiling your turds in the communal fridge...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 11:30, Reply)