Vomit!
I just came from the library where some guy just walked in and threw up all over the floor.

alt Q: when was the last time you were ON A BOAT
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 18:56, 255 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm not surprised someone vommed
If you were there, trying to see how far away from the library you could shoot your jizz.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:00, Reply)

I only made it past the biographies section
a poor performance by anyone's standards.

I had to help take this wrecked guy to the hospital.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Was he drunk?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:03, Reply)

No
for once food poisoning.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:04, Reply)

Shame really.
I was hoping he was drunk and this was his cry for help, and then I could have made some sort of comment about his cry for help being 'sushhed' by the librarian.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:06, Reply)

The librarian put a cone over the sick

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:25, Reply)

ice cream cone?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:43, Reply)

'cleaning in progress' cone

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)

I nearly punched out like 10 people on the way home today.
Fucking absolute cunts, the pure definition of cunts, who see a queue for the escilator, walk around it and then push in at the mouth of the escilator, I want to yell "OI ! OI YOU ! YES, YOU IN THE FUCKING BLACK SHIRT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? YOU THINK YOU'RE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME? GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SELF RIGHTIOUS PIECE OF CRAP.... YEAH, I SAID IT, CUNT. C U N T. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE".

Then there are the cunt torrests who stand still at the top of the escilator, sort their bag out, make sure they got their oyster, I want to yell "LISTEN UP, CUNTY, THIS ESCILATOR IS GOING TO SPEW 1000s OF PEOPLE EVERY MINUTE WEATHER YOU SORT YOUR SHIT OUT OR NOT. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE FROM OUTSIDE THE M25, JOG ON, COMMON SENSE, COMPRENDE AMIGO ?"

Then there are the cunts who won't move down the train, I want to go "EXCUSE ME? EEEXXCUSE ME? CAN YOU PLEASE USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE AND MOVE DOWN, IT'S FUCKING RUSH HOUR AND YOU'RE STOPPING 5 ODD PEOPLE FROM GETTING ON THIS TRAIN 'CUS YOU WON'T MOVE DOWN. NOW MOVE DOWN BEFORE I CHUCK YOU OFF THE FUCKING TRAIN AND PUT YOU UNDER THE TRACKS"

Then there are the cunts who won't let me off the train, refuse to step down off the train so people can get off and then they can get on first, where I want to yell "I SWARE TO GOD, IF I END UP IN [next stop from the one I want to get off] THERE WILL BE BLOOD ON MY HANDS, THE FLOOR, THE CIELING AND THEY'LL NEED TO CALL IN A FUCKING PREAST TO GIVE YOU YOUR LAST RIGHTS"

Then there are the ones who do something of the above at the oyster turnstyles, I want to yell "HAY, HAY YOU, YOU THERE, WAS IT A FUCKING SUPPRISE YOU NEEDED YOUR TICKET? WAKEY WAKEY SHIT FOR BRAINS"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:04, Reply)

so nothing out of the ordinary for the London commute?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:06, Reply)

I've said it before
and I will probably say it again

London sucks.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:08, Reply)

use your HONDA ACCORD OF JUSTICE to sort them out

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:08, Reply)

Justice doesn't pay the congestion charge
The congestion charge pays it (in supermodels)
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:11, Reply)

I'm with Captain on this.
London does indeed suck.

The problem won't get worse with the Olympics next year will it... Hell no! It'll be fine :(
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:10, Reply)

London is inherently stressful
while the weekend was cool, it was not without stress and sweaty buses
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:11, Reply)

I generally like it as a place to visit.
But I could no more live there than I could suck Darth's cock for money.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Yeah', couldn't charge for that, people might talk.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:14, Reply)

even if it were a lot of money?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:14, Reply)

No.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Gonz, you need to stroke a dog, mate.
That'll calm you down.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:11, Reply)

Oh man, if I had a dog, that would have fixed EVERYTHING.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:14, Reply)

someone needs a yop

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:12, Reply)

Nyom, noym, noym.... morphine haze now.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:14, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:15, Reply)

Very disapointed with thai lunch, really really disapointed, I'd go as far as to say it was the worst edible thai I've ever had.
And I kept on spending ages trying to word and work in the joke "There is this thai place where I live, but they're a bit racist, it's black tie/thai only"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:16, Reply)

Wait,
they put morphine in Yop? this changes EVERYTHING
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:30, Reply)

surely you should know that
science boy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:37, Reply)

Haven't science'd in a while
on account of holidays, holidays that involved BOATs
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:39, Reply)

what kind of boats

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:43, Reply)

rowing and motorboat

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:03, Reply)

I love motorboating!!!!

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:05, Reply)

me too
both kinds!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:06, Reply)

I just like the kind that involves boobs.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)

I have never experienced either

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)

gross, when other people puke I get ill
but only when sober
when I'm drunk I'm a hair holding champ

alt: I was on a canoe when I was like 13
not sure this counts
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:07, Reply)

You have to look after your drunk mates
also it counts.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:09, Reply)

alt: probably when I went canadian canoeing
it was the first time I'd done anything other than splashing about in sea kayaks. I declared rest to be for the weak and paddled 9 miles. I could barely lift my arms to drive home and kept having to stop
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:10, Reply)

what differentiates Canadian canoeing from regular canoeing?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:13, Reply)

More bacon

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:14, Reply)

Alt:
About a year ago, testing out the dive club's new boat.

Shame the engine is now fucked.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:12, Reply)

Did you fuck it?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:13, Reply)

No, I think it burned out and was a bit faulty when we bought the boat.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:35, Reply)

BOAT LoL!

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:12, Reply)

when I see this I think "bo at" like you're saying "bo" and then "at"
also, I don't know this meme
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:16, Reply)

I think it was before you joined us hon!

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:16, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:17, Reply)

Haha!
Motherfucking BOAT!
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:18, Reply)

it's a big blue watery road

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:19, Reply)

fuck land

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:19, Reply)

I've seen this.
"I Just Had Sex" is probably my favorite

"I found a woman that let me put my penis inside her"
classic
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:19, Reply)

Finally a song that covers my full range of romantic feelings

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:21, Reply)

like a boss

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Promote synergy!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:12, Reply)

hahahaha

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:24, Reply)

Haha!
You big softie.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:38, Reply)

What can I say ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:42, Reply)

haha

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:28, Reply)

One day I will post this song
one day I will be victorious
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:43, Reply)

Casey Anthony was acquited.
My facebook is slowly filling with anger about this.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Who?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:31, Reply)

they were talking about it in another thread
she was accused of murdering her daughter and the jury just found her not guilty
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:33, Reply)

but but
perhaps she's not guilty? Surely that's what the whole trial thing is about
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:35, Reply)

I only stated the facts, Captain
she was accused and has been found not guilty

I wasn't present and don't know all the facts about the trial, only what I've read. I think she did it. Her being found not guilty has swayed my judgement a bit. Now I just feel sorry for her. Because it's likely she's going to have to go into protection lest she's murdered herself.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:39, Reply)

i was more criticising your fb friends
which i suppose is pretty reactionary of me, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:42, Reply)

my facebook has blown up over it
there is a chance she is innocent
but she certainly didn't act that way
her daughter was missing for 31 days and didn't report it, her mother did
there were pictures of her partying while her daughter was basically rotting, it's a bit hard to sympathise
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:51, Reply)

beats trial by media

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:41, Reply)

I'll Google them and then come back and offer my uninformed opinion.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:35, Reply)

She isn't much of a looker.
There. That's my opinion.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Guilty then.
Everyone knows ugly people commit crimes.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)

Attractive people are only
murderously eccentric
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:46, Reply)

oh! :(
I thought you just had to be rich to be eccentric

now I must rethink my life plan
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:49, Reply)

If you are poor you are simply a crazy!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Nope
you can be eccentric and poor
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:50, Reply)

i am so confused
my plan is to be eccentric. I've been wearing hats specifically for the time when I'm old and rich enough
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Wow, so will theyn go after the grandparents?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:47, Reply)

unlikely
I guess if the police thought they were suspects they would've been arrested already
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:52, Reply)

The last boat I was on was a zapcat
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWxGQsYZVK8&feature=related
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Well get you Mr I live life on the edge.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:47, Reply)

I am clutching my joi de vivre with my last ounce of strength

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Don't loosen that grip an inch.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)

But I'm getting tired BGB, so tired

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Find the strength deep inside of you ape.
Garner the last dregs of life from your weakened bones and throw yourself at every new experience with all the joy of a five year old.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:08, Reply)

sounds fun
worth a go?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Yeah not bad was a present for Christmas, so not sure of the cost
Also I had to to Hayling Island *shudder*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 19:49, Reply)

I'm watching 4 Rooms.
Some bloke is trying to sell a collection of stuffed frogs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:05, Reply)

4 rooms?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:09, Reply)

www.channel4.com/programmes/four-rooms
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)

I thought I'd watch some telly
but iplayer and 4od seem to just be full of shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:09, Reply)

What type of show do you want to be watching?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:10, Reply)

not really sure
something funny, perhaps, but not 'HAHHA look at this guy he totally got hit in the nuts' funny
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:11, Reply)

I still like Phone Shop on 4OD
(The first episode is called Doctor Who)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:16, Reply)

i saw a trailer
but it looked shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:17, Reply)

I found it amusing.
But what do I know, eh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:18, Reply)

each to their own

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)

So what did you end up putting on

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:32, Reply)

nothing
tv is more effort than it's worth
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Watch 'Faking It' on 4OD
That's quite interesting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)

I was on the train a few weeks ago...
A chap got on, the doors closed, and then he sang a solo vomit opera over the door. We pulled in to Canada Water moments later, at which point he turned to the carriage and said "c'est la vie!" before darting off the train and in to the night.

Alt: a couple of years ago, on Windermere.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:11, Reply)

C'est la vie indeed

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:15, Reply)

What are ya loike!
Don't think anyone will get ^ that
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:16, Reply)

no fear
I foight loike me da as well
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:24, Reply)

*jigs*

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:24, Reply)

Recently in Wales.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:33, Reply)

BOATS AND WALES HAHAHA

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:35, Reply)

PUT YOUR PHONE BACK IN YOUR CAR.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Regretting calling your boss a perv yet?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:38, Reply)

no, he is a fucking perv
why would I regret it?
even if it gets me fired, he's still a fucking perv
I can find a new job, but he's still a nasty old perv
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:41, Reply)

A new job might mean more money and a proper amount of annual leave to take!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:46, Reply)

Darling, you'd have to be a CEO or something to find a NEW job which allows you that much holiday time when starting out
perhaps not a CEO but probably a shit ton of training which I don't have
my roommate just started her job in january in corporate sales for a computer software company, making probably $50k a year and she only gets a weeks holiday
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Is $50k a good salary?
I only ask, as a couple of years ago when you'd get $2 to £1 that would be similar to a UK job paying £25k, which is below the national average for the UK.

EDIT: Title edited. Sorry K.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)

better than $50k, that's for sure
but I think the base salary for my town is somewhere around $34k
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:55, Reply)

Is 34 grand a year a livable wage, or is that a bit of a struggle.
I'm guessing that like the UK, location dictates salary as much as anything.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

After taxes it's probably around 24 grand, most housing is around a thousand a month so that cuts it in half
I'd say it's a bit of a struggle considering most have to commute, with fuel prices, car maintenance, food, utilities.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

taxes are a cunt.
If things are a bit of a struggle for most people every month, you can see why health insurance isn't always top of the list for people to buy, not at the expense of food or heating.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)

plus it's a cunt and a half as far as price goes
mine was $110 a month through my employer, and that was 4 years ago
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I've got no idea what country offers the best value for money for its nationals
Based on tax, average salary, healthcare and general cost of living.

I'll find out!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Stay where you are!
According to the Daily Heil France is the best place to live.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240988/France-tops-list-best-places-live-world-fifth-year-row--Britain-languishes-25th.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:14, Reply)

I heard it's stinky there because they don't bathe properly

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Correct.
Saying, 'Lordy, my throat is as dry as a Frenchmans bath mat' is a cue for your host to go and get you a drink as you might die from dehydration at any moment.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

it'll be skewed by weird places like Brunei
which have free healthcare and no income tax.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)

£25k is national average? seriously?
I don't get anywhere near that yet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

It varies on experience, location, sector and all manner of other things.
career-advice.monster.co.uk/salary-benefits/pay-salary-advice/uk-average-salary-graphs/article.aspx
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:05, Reply)

including tolerance of perviness

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:09, Reply)

I'm amazed to see that on average, men are earning 7k a year more than women.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)

I'm slightly above average for a temp
/looks on bright side
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:11, Reply)

But you get to cock about with cameras everyday.
I get to slave over spreadsheets and I have to talk to people who use words like 'blue sky thinking'.

People who use phrases like 'blue sky thinking' get the hump when you say, 'And the difference between 'blue sky thinking' and just 'thinking' is what exactly?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)

i do like arsing about with cameras
and wearing robes. I asked my boss if I could wear the robes all the time. She said I could, but she'd have to check with health and safety for wearing them in teh darkroom
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:16, Reply)

And I'm guessing you also benefit from a massive holiday entitlement as well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

in the sense that I don't get paid for them yet, yes

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Sorry.
I thought teachers got an annual salary and were paid during term breaks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

you do when you're not a temp, like me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Well I hope these other 21 people going for your job all get overlooked in favour of you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

cheers
I'm bored of talking about my job - look at the picture I'm about to post n the left. It's totally chock full of lolz
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:17, Reply)

What are you laughing at Missus!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

You, you muppet.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

*sads*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

You make me laugh.
Isn't that a good thing?
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:21, Reply)

It is a good thing Blousie.
But I don't know WHY I make you laugh.

This is less good.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I'd say coz you is funny
but what do I know?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Blousie laughs at me
Not with me though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

is that not better than nothing?
crumbs of comfort from such an exalted lady are better than nothing, surely?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)

She has to be nice to me as I'd booked her a bash-hug for being awesome!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:41, Reply)

I'm sure that helped
everyone likes a hug.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:42, Reply)

you want to use more carrot and stick

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Hell is other people.
And there is nothing more hellish than those who love a good buzzword.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:19, Reply)

our favourite is
"...falls naturally out of the curriculum..."

which means "we're giving you more shit to do in your lessons but no extra time to do it in"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Make one of these for your sector!
www.businessbuzzwordbingo.com/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)

hehe
might have to. Luckily I don't go to all that many meetings
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:30, Reply)

How is playground patrol going? Are you still on the look out for 'that fella'
You know, the one who turned your head.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

I don't have to go again until September
it's very unlikely I'll see him until then *sigh*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Hey, it might be summer by September.
You could show off your school holiday tan and he'll be all 'Wow! Captain, with this tan you are spoiling us'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

tan? HAHAHHAHAHH!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)

What we lack in buzzwords we make up for in acronyms.
With this in mind, I've started calling actions with very uncertain timescales SMQs (String Measurement Queries).
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)

I love string theory.
I watched an Horizon programme about it once and my head nearly exploded.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Ha ha!
does what it says on the tanker.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)

hahahahahahaha
It's funny because their telephone number is obscured.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

I NO, RIGHT?!
who will know how to get in touch with them now?!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Using their URL
Oh wait. There is a ladder over that too.

hahahahahaha
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Funnily enough, we (that is, the company I work for) buy mineral oil from them.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

What up peeps?
I'm listening to Tom waits, drinking cocoa and feeling a bit tired after several brilliant days, how are we all tonight?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:24, Reply)

I am ashamed of my whinging
I have learnt valuable lessons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Oooh!
what are they? Don't worry Cap'n we all have our blue days, be sure I'll have mine again soon enough, I've just been a lucky boy lately.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

well congratulations to you young man
lesson 1 - sleep more
lesson 2 - don't follow no sleep by forgetting to take thyroxine (the stuff that makes my metabolism work
lesson 3: don't follow this with whinging about it on the interwebs

this morning I could barely open my eyes, then realised what was going on
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Young man? Faurly sure I out-age you...
flattering none the less.

1. Well yes, if you work out how do tell me.
2. That can be a bugger that.
3. coulda been worse I think only I noticed and I won't tell anyone.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

that was a close thing
if I was caught by others, I'd never live it down.

don't I out-age my by about a year or something?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)

can't remember, maybe
never mind, I'll let you off. You weren't that bad, just bforget it and it'll all be good.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)

cocoa
I can't fucking imagine it in this heat.
When I say "this heat" I of course mean "outside". As I'm sat in the AC. But still, no cocoa for at least 7 or 8 months.

I can't find a ticket for a part I have to bill. Thees ees no bueno.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Cocoa is scrummy
and it just rained so it's cooled down.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

I've just google map'd my home and got very excited about seeing it on the internet.
Why I haven't done this ages ago is beyond me.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)

have you seen streetview?
/2009
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:37, Reply)

That's what I mean.
And the photo was taken while I was living here which is fabulous.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)

that's so cute

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)

It was taken by a racing pigeon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)

I hope he was on double time.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:44, Reply)

It was being chased
*Does the Muttley laugh*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Genuine LOL
I thought everyone did that ages ago. Hey Blousie, how goes it Oop North?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:38, Reply)

It's warm and muggy so I finally changed my winter quilt for my summer one.
I may sleep in the nuddy.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Been sleeping in the nuddy
with no quilt for weeks now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Naked? on your bed? with no covering?
*is shocked*

And a little bit turned on.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Not if you saw me
sprawled on my back with my mouth wide open snoring and dribbling, but it's the only way I can get cool enough.

I am sure that you, dear lady, will make a much more edifying prospect.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Oh aye! I am a pretty sight.



And buy a fan you daft bugger.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Bestill my beating heart!
I have 2 but just the boring electric type, nothing exotic they do help but for some reason I don't have them in the bedroom, maybe I'll try it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Saves getting bit on the bum by a stray moth at night.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:56, Reply)

The moth that bites me is very brave
actually found a dead one in the bed this morning, so there's one thatb won't be biting any more.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I don't like moths : /

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)

do you get the grumps when it's the time of the moth?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:01, Reply)

LTI Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

*Stomps feet*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Me neither
This was the first one I've seen here, living on the main road means not much wildlife, which is a plus.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

you should both read Perdido Street Station
then you REALLY won't like moths
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)

nah
Think I'll pass, I can do without the leggy bastards as it is, just glad spiders can't fecking fly.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

if snakes flew
I'd live in constant fear...wait.... SNAKES ON A PLANE!!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)

snakes are quite cute
and have no legs, so are OK.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:10, Reply)

quite the opposite
they are freaky no-legged nasty little fuckers who will snap at my face even if I think about them

*shudder*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Apart from the snakes that do have legs

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

lizards are cool

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Komodo dragons hunting cows is frickin awesumsss!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:18, Reply)

I love Komodo Dragons
they could only be cooler if they had wings
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Hmm according to my matrix you don't like blacks, asians, the disabled, Virginians, and now moths

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

I do like you though.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:04, Reply)

I thought he said you didn't like virgins?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

Blousie told me she is happy to use any mainline train company.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Oh boy, I knew if I tried hard enough I'd get some b3tan lovin

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Ditto
it's too bloody hot in my flat come the summer, but in winter I have to wear two pairs of pyjamas, use two duvets and a sodding electric blanket. It's silly.
(berk, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:54, Reply)

pyjamas are only for when you stop round someone's house

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:56, Reply)

I like then for lounging around the flat
I even have slippers, I'm well cool I am. Thanks for the tip on Rain DOgs BTW, that was you wasn't it?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:57, Reply)

yeah, that would be me. Good, isn't it?
I have Cthulu slippers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:59, Reply)

Of course you do. Bunny slippers not good enough?

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:01, Reply)

you don't get the same existential angst and creeping madness
when you look at your feet with bunny slippers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

I'd like a pair of zombie slippers.
If you find anywhere that makes them, let me know.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

can't be that hard to make
although making two the same would be harder
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

Zombie undies FTW.
www.amazon.com/Iron-Fist-Zombie-Chomper-Underwear/dp/B0040HDXXU/ref=pd_sbs_shoe_4
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)

hahahahha!
she's got funny nipples, mind
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

nipples is nipples Lass
you learns not to be choosy.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Oh really?

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:22, Reply)

This is not to say some are not nicer than others
and sometimes one does get lucky.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:26, Reply)

I think you got away with that one
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:36, Reply)

I fuckin hope so Cap'n, I fuckin hope so
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

she;s not said anything yet, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

maybe she's gone to bed
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:41, Reply)

i think you're in trouble
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:42, Reply)

oh dear, what shall I do?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

mind altering drugs are the only answer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:44, Reply)

For me, or for Blousie?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:45, Reply)

both? it's best to be safe
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:46, Reply)

sounds good
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:48, Reply)

yup, it is
I like the theory of Cthulu slippers, but probably not as practical as my M&S ones.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)

perhaps you are older than me, then

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

practically a pipe smoker
I vary from 15 - 50 depends on the mood.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Not too bad here in winter
but then I have Scots blood, I manage cold better than heat.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 21:56, Reply)

This winter just gone
even with the poxy electric heating turned on to full and costing me a small fucking fortune, I could see my breath in the air on the coldest nights. Admittedly, those coldest nights were around -15oC, but still...
(berk, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Do you live in a cardboard box?

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:02, Reply)

don't be horrible to berk, Blousie.
She called me during Pulp!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I'm going to get pissed on Saturday night.
Would you like me to call you then?
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:05, Reply)

If you're going to see a band then hook me up for a listen in during a song!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

No band but I can sing to you if you like.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:10, Reply)

That'll work!
Get drunk and give me a bell.

But you MUST sing to me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Okeydokey : )
Although it will probably be the theme tune to the Loveboat as it's the only song I can remember when I'm drunk.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Are you taking requests?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:13, Reply)

No. See above.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Fair enough!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:17, Reply)

with no heating by the sound of it
sounds a bit grim.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Storage heating
right old pile of donkey balls. I'm never leasing a flat with it again.
(berk, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:07, Reply)

I had that in one house I rented
it is proper shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:09, Reply)

I'm impoverished
but it's not quite that bad. My flat just has very high ceilings and electric heating (which is about as much use as a chocolate teapot) and consequently is very hard to keep warm when it's cold out.
(berk, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:06, Reply)

same celings
but proper gas central heating FTW, also in the middle of a block with neighbors above, below and either side helps.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:12, Reply)

If your place is on the end of a row and too old for cavity wall insulation, that counts for nothing.
I speak from bitter experience.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:22, Reply)

well this place used to be a Victorian bank
no idea what that means insulation wise but it's warm enough.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Victorians knew how to build properly.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

That they did
this is why I like my flat, most of it may be small but the living room is nice and big and the ceilings are so high I cannot reach then if I stand on a chair.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

damnit a moth just attacked my ear!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Jubblies!
Time for bed, nighty night OT.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)

did I start a thing
with talking about boobs before bedtime?

night!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 5 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)