*tap tap*
Is this thing on?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:39, 202 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Yes,
this is nice and childish, www.foxnewsuk.com/ check the source code as well.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I stand corrected
that is very funny.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Catch the fail bus to the Murdocholypse!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I think it's suffering from being "fucking shit", "dull" and "repetative"
I'm sorry to say it, but /OT appears to have run out of stuff worth writing about.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Unpossible.
We're talking about the cream of humanity. Go-getters. High flyers. World changers. The taut web of intellectual steel upon which our very society is draped.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I just feel it's lost something recently
Even Chompy hasn't been his usual fountain of interesting BBC links.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

it's because you were away
now you're back you can make it awesome again.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Copy'n'paste \/ into the address bar > 'add' "English - United Kingdom" > click "Use this language for spell checking" > Stop the imperialist democracy of the United States of America from taking over the literacy world, one 'z' at a time.
chrome://settings/languages
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Poor America, first the BSkyB take over, and now the browser language take over.
Gutted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Cheers, Gonz I actually worked that one out for myself after winging a K about it.
We should form a club.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Alright-to-Awesome Facial Hair Club

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:49, Reply)

I was thinking we should call it DNA
for National Association of Dyslexics, this is one of my favourite dyslexic jokes.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Hah, [along the same lines], "Did you know that Dyselxia is an annogram for 'I have sex every day and i am very good at it' ?"
*walks into a bra*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:13, Reply)

I'm not sorry to say that OT never had anything to say in the first place

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

I don't even know what that means Rory
I really don't.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

What a horrid thing to say.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

S'troo Shambles, if anything it's less shit now than it used to be, that's not saying much though

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I'm going to pick it up by the balls and pluck its pubes with my teeth until it pulls its fucking metaphors together.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Such missionary zeal will soon falter, you'll be reduced to recounting the contents of your lunchbox in no time at all

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Cock, balls and the overpowering scent of impending humiliation.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:55, Reply)

One TWO, one TWO.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

peeeoooOOOOwooooooooooomomomomomom

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

I appear to have arrived to a thread too late, so I will decamp to here.
What I said was:

I was just in town and saw a man get told off by a lady in WHSmiths for reading all the magazines. She was being really polite about it, and he was all 'I've never been so insulted', and she actually used the phrase "We sell magazines - we're not a library."

I didn't laugh though, as I was still on a downer. But I should have done.

I accept that it may have got no replies because it was shit. But I'm going to give it another fucking go.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)

You should have kicked him RIGHT IN THE FUCKING CUNT!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I was too busy trying to look like I wasn't earwigging.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I'm going to reply just in case you're one of those needy types.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I think she's quite needy

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Thanks.
I am.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

It's a shit thing to be.
You should stop being needy and grow a dick. Figuratively or literally.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

If she grew a dick
she could finally indulge in her ultimate fantasy of bending her brother over a park bench and fucking him up the arse while singing "I'm in the mood for dancing" by The Nolan Sisters.

He would join in the harmonies for the chorus.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I think you're getting my ultimate fantasy mixed up with your ultimate fantasy.
or favourite memory.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I've been up her brother
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I@M GOING TO BE ON TELLY B3TH
then i'll be well famous
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I've been on telly Rory
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Well yeah it's gonna be that new magician (that cunt who walked on the Thames whoever he is) show
keep your eye out for the guy in the background on his phone during a card trick in Covent Garden, THAT WAS ME YESTERDAY. I'll gaz you an autograph.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)

that Dynamo thing?
is that it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Google says YES
Obviously I can't talk much about it as we haven't wrapped the series yet, but my part in it is pretty MEGA
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I CAN'T WAIT!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Is it the Weakest Link?
I hope it is.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)

EVEN BETTER
I was there in the background for about 10 seconds before wandering off. BEAT THAT FUCKOSSSSS
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Oh man be my friend PLEEEZ.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:23, Reply)

W0WZ0RZ!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I know!
It's not going to go to my head or anything, it just means that I'll be posting less, but I'm sure you'll all understand.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Well fair enough - I mean, what next - The Weakest Link?????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Oh man then I could on and on and on and on and on about my 'winnings'
Sit back and enjoy this half hour of Darths finest moments b3ta.com/search/answers?q=twl
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

That's very kind of you - thanks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Oh B3th, me too, I think I'm going to go doctors in the morning because something seems to have upset me over the last week and I donno what but it isn't very pleasent.
I think it's because, when I think about it, lots of things suck the big one. I want to crawl back into my little bubbleworld where everything is rose-tinted and the only textures are fluffy, soft and warm.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:46, Reply)

It's always quiet here between 5 and 6
which, coincidentally, is the last hour of my working day when I am most in need of distraction. I've actually considered changing my 'working' hours so this is not so. /sad.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Is this about 'periods'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:23, Reply)

You seem uncommonly bouncy Mr Boyce
Good drugs?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Sadly not - exhaustion caused by a fucking alarm opposite my flat keeping me up half the night.
Similar effects.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Ahh sleep dep induced psychosis
That can be fun and best of all it's free.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:38, Reply)

A couple of drinks after work and I am going to be feeling pretty fucking odd I reckon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:47, Reply)

I got the impression
you rather enjoyed feeling odd. Of am I confusing your meme with reality
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)

It's my life's work. The odder the better.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:56, Reply)

I was wondering the other day if whales or monkeys have periods.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:25, Reply)

I've heard of monkeys with typewriters, but whales? Come on, Gonz ... be reasonable.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Baboon TISH

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)

I know it was a crap pun but I hoped you'd be gibbon me the benefit of the doubt.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Maybe you should practice on your family first, like your dad and Ma-then-you'll-be-Set (marmoset)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

I'm gibbon you the benefit of the doubt here, but that last pun was a howler.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)

For god's saki

(Oh man, kissing that must be what it's like to go down on Generic Female B3tan as you move your head in)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I've wondered this
about most animals, but surely if, for example, dogs had periods I'd have seen one....
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Where's Jeff when you need him, eh?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Exactly, I would have thought I would have heard of it, but they're mammals too, which is the closest to what we are.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)

bitches menstruate when they are in season.
A hip hop guide to veterinary science, part one.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

So are all dog owners just very good at cleaning up?
because, not that I pay attention to such things, but I've never seemn a dog bleeding from the cunt.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:34, Reply)

look harder.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Nah, I'll leave that to Jeff
Seriously though, why, in all the zoos and documentaries in the world have I never seen a single animal on the blob?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)

I once saw this stroppy cow, can't say if she was on the blob or not, but the staff at primark were glad to get rid of her.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:39, Reply)

I think humans are one of the only creatures
who're ready to breed throughout the year

:(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Yay!
More chances for getting lucky that way.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

throughout the year? have you read some of the posts on here? more like once a decade.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

capable of
is not the same as actually having the opportunity to be
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:43, Reply)

imagine the lack of opportunity
combined with having to wait to be in season, it'd be even harder to get laid.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:50, Reply)

this is a valid point
but then if you were in-season at a different time to other girls you'd be in more demand, rather than the over-flooded market it is now.

wait, I think I implied you were a girl, there. Oops
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)

You wouldn't be the first or likely the last woman to do so.
I generally take it as a compliment.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Show us yer tits, love.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:55, Reply)

*removes shirt*
*cups moobs and flutters eyelashes*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)

I think he's gone off for a wank now

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:04, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100519204533AACNETp
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Thank you
Informative as always.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:41, Reply)

*winks*

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

being human sucks

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I don't know. *shrugs*
We have cake.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:43, Reply)

that is true
I quite like that we have books, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:44, Reply)

and cheese
cheese is awesome, as is chocolate. and I for one think that the ability to have sex more or less whenever we feel like it is worth the periods, but then I don't have to have them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Well now I'm not screaming in agony once a month, I would agree with you.

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Chemicals FTW
Period pains FTL
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Oh man, I'm never touching a fanny again !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Again?
/obvious
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Yeah', once on the way out was more than enough for me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:01, Reply)

alright Shambles?
Gid ovening you quending fucktards. What have I missed today?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I'm going to be on telly

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

appearing on noncewatch.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:36, Reply)

That sounds more interesting than the the grim reality of you watching grainy images of chubby cunts wanking in their rooms for fourteen or fifteen hours of the day

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:39, Reply)

oh rory you card.
I wuv you really.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:46, Reply)

I'm bored and I need a wee.

( Kroney, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:35, Reply)

i bought beef!
I'm so proud. I stood there for ages at the fridge thing being all stressed because I had no idea what I was meant to get, then I plucked up the courage and asked some dude on the butcher's counter. Then I bought BEEF!

next: cooking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:38, Reply)

What kind of beef? minced? steak? etc

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:42, Reply)

it's red and flat

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:43, Reply)

if you need advice on mincing
Just ask Darth.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I heard his bird was a minger, is it true?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:53, Reply)

nobody said anything like that.
What I said was that I don't think she's that fit. Just expressed a taste based opinion. As I've said, anything in the public domain is fair game for discussion, including pics of one's beard.

I have no further statement to make at this time.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)

I've no idea what you are on about
fuck talking, lets just fuck
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:20, Reply)

What does it call it on the packet?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:55, Reply)

beef
welsh tender beef steak
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Cool, how are you going to cook it? what are you going to serve it with?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I'm going to try this
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1278209

so far, I know the ingredients
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Sounds good !
Add some garlic to that maronade, should be lush
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:02, Reply)

maronaide? interesting
I was just going to put all the things in a pan. Well it's all experiments I suppose
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:03, Reply)

This is what I would do with them.
- Get the rice on (half a mug of rice to a whole mug of water, lid on, boil for 15 minutes)
- Cut the steak into strips
- Get a plate and put a little bit of flour on it, sprinkle with salt and pepper, mix it up with your fingers.
- Run the steak strips through the flour
- Get some veg oil in a hot wok or frying pan (wok would be better), put it on as hot as you can (about 1/2 cm deep).
- Mix up some minced garlic, soy sauce, honey, chopped chili, olive oil... taste it, if it's alright, then great.
- Put the beef into the hot oil for about 5-7 minutes, stiring it around every minute so each side gets crispy.... about 3 minutes into it, add your chopped veg.
- Drain some of the oil down the sink (it's OK, it's not a lot of oil), so now you've only got enough oil to coat the pan.
- Pour the sauce all over beef'n'veg, mix it around, just for a minute so it thickens a bit and coats everything.
- Serve it on the rice and enjoy =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:11, Reply)

I know it looks like a lot of steps, but really it isn't, I just detailed it because you're knew to this sort of thing =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:11, Reply)

Honestly Gonz, if a recipe doesn't stop at 'pierce film lid', I really don't have the patience.
I'm a great baker, but a terrible cook.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:15, Reply)

Oh B3th, you _are_ worth cooking for.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:17, Reply)

How are you today?
no funny turns, I hope.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Quite horrific, felt like jumping under a bus in a scarily literal sense. A few days of anxiety/panic attacks has really taken it out of me.
Gonna go docs in the morning to see if I can get my hands on some chill-the-fuck-out pills. I need a break from everything, including being me. Might go away somewhere next week, Ma' has booked this hotel in Brighton with my uncle. I might look around and get some cheap b'n'b around the same area, or even the same hotel, I donno, it's not what I was looking forward too, but I'm sure it'll be alright, it'll be a break anyway.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Poor love.
Is there any one thing you can put your finger on? If there's one thing you can change, it might alleviate some of teh other stuff.
Having said that, if I don't take my chill-the-fuck-out pills, I get absolutely awful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

I can't think of anything that I want to change that I can change.
except taking this break so I don't burn out completely.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:02, Reply)

OK, cheers
it's kind of what I just started off doing. It's only me eating it so it doesn't matter if it fucks up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:17, Reply)

Exactly ! Totally !
Don't be defeatest, but if it doesn't work out, you won't go hungry, we're not in ethiopia. And if you think "This is alright, but maybe next time could add some XYZ", then, you got a good base for a dish for next time =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:21, Reply)

lesson learnt so far:
over cleaner left on the hob smells quite strongly when you cook
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:26, Reply)

also: how narrow are the strips meant to be?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Ugh.
I scrubbed out the kitchen yesterday and spent the entire day breathing in bleach.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

i poured oven cleaner on the hob
and moved it around a bit. It's like cleaning
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Would you like to hear a Top Tip?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:30, Reply)

always
especially if it makes my life easier
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

I discovered last week
that if you have a load of greasy gunk stuck on the top of your ceramic hob (which you generally do if your other half fries everything he fucking eats) then a credit card or store card or something is really good for scraping it off.

I'm going to send it to a magazine and see if I can get some money for it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:33, Reply)

I don't really have this problem
I'm not even sure if I have ceramic hobs.

you should definitely send it to one of those magazines, along with a picture of your dog in sunglasses
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:02, Reply)

In my weekly role as "trying to stop Gonz killing himself with food"
could I just add .. 1/2cm of oil? it's a fucking stir fry. You're not supposed to deep fry it. enough to stop the beef sticking. Tipping it away at the end ain't helping you, the food's already absorbed half of it.

otherwise, carry on. good work as always.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:19, Reply)

I was Hmming and Hurrring about how to describe the oil.
I think because it's coated in flour that it does need more than just pan-coating, and was thinking of a crispy crust. I guess it depends on the saucepan, I was htinking along the lines of a wok, where 1cm would be alright because it has a small base.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:23, Reply)

It's a lot more than I would use, even in a wok...

(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:24, Reply)

You!
How do you feel about moving to Somerset?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I'd love to move back to Bristol, or around there
however I suspect tennis boy would love the idea less.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:30, Reply)

I may have completely the wrong end of the stick about your area of expertise
but I've just seen an advert for a diagnostic laboratories biochemistry technician at Bristol University's veterinary teaching hospital.

This may or may not be completely useless to you...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I shall have a nosy at it, for sure
do you have a link, please?
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Anything for you, pretty lady :-)
http://www.langfordvets.co.uk/vacancies.htm
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Do-able, albeit a long way away...
so well done and thankyou for spotting it, I shall stick it on the List.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Well, if it's a job you don't want
you're almost guaranteed to get an interview.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

That is pretty much the way it's going at the minute, yes...

(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:47, Reply)

come back to Bristol

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:40, Reply)

Hey you
you back home yet? At some point in the future, Blousie wants to come and meet up with me and Jeff and go on the pier at weston. You totally have to come too, if you're around.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)

Yeah back now :)
Can't believe I was fine all festival even when having a dodgy burger, then as soon as I get home I get a stomach bug that's going around.

I'd love to :) Weston isn't too far
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:47, Reply)

Hi Berk!
Happy Birthday!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Hi al!
thankyou!
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Did you have a nice day?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:33, Reply)

It was just like every other day, really
my birthday is not a big deal for me.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Did TB not get you some nice fizzy wine and take you out to a steak restaurant?
and then have really unselfish sex with you in the alley behind the newsagents?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Nope
he was at work til 10pm so I cooked instead. I had really unselfish sex with him this morning as he fell asleep on the sofa last night before I had chance to leap on him.
He is taking me out to dinner on Friday.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Fair enough.
That sounds reasonable.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Just as long as there is filthy sex at the end of it

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

There had bloody well better be
I bought a new dress and everything.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:46, Reply)

unless you've shoved half a pound of flour in with it
no you don't. you're using the flour and oil as the base for a stir-fry sauce and generally speaking, you need equal weights flour and fat for the roux. There's fat in the beef and a dusting of flour is going to be, what, an ounce at best? so really only a little oil.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:28, Reply)

^this
mr b3th refuses to use my spray oil. He just pours oil into everything. It makes my skin crawl watching him cook.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:29, Reply)

spray oil is hideous cock though
sorry and that. but it's emulsified and therefore well wrong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:31, Reply)

You're much better off getting yourself some cheap supermarket own brand olive oil
and then getting your olive farmer to take it in for you.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:34, Reply)

No, you can get these aerators
you put your own oil in (good quality if you can afford it) then pump it up like a bicycle pump, and spray a fine mist of oil. Much healthier.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

CURTAINS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:54, Reply)

this made me laugh more than it should have

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:01, Reply)

Hi babe
how's your willy?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:46, Reply)

good thanks bbz.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:50, Reply)

bbz?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)

What's up, Broadsword bbz?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)

big bleeding zits?
bulbous berts zister?

I just don't understand
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:00, Reply)

you noncecock.
It just means babez. In innernet speak.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:02, Reply)

are you saying I'm a babe?
frankly I'm flattered. Lets skype, I'll smoosh my tits together for you.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:05, Reply)

I love tits.
Thnx bbz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:08, Reply)

lol rofl lmao

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:11, Reply)

gizza screenshot

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:13, Reply)

here you go

nsfa
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:14, Reply)

*swoons*

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:17, Reply)

He's not that fit.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:39, Reply)

You so want me

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)

pass the lube.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Where we're going, we don't NEED no lube
mainly because my anus flaps about like an airfield windsock
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:44, Reply)

I would give you a click
but not sure if I like this is the correct response
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:49, Reply)

HE LOOKS ABOUT 30

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:44, Reply)

YOU MASSIVE BITCH.
Don't think I don't know what goes on here behind my back.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:58, Reply)

wrankj;dsfho;uy490twnak;lrfdseuj9f0g
I DARE YOU to decipher my code!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:04, Reply)

Probably not
goodnight Manchester
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Afternoon

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Alright Al
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)

I'm alright thanks.
I had a shitty meeting with an angry builder today. I was told I didn't know what I was talking about by a man who looks like he would have difficulty counting to twenty unless he was wearing sandals.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:40, Reply)

Probably while wearing socks at the same time
sneak back at night and steal his ladders as a small but adequete revenge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:45, Reply)

Or just smear butter all over the ladder treads.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:22, Reply)

The only good thing to have happened in Manchester, ever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gM6rn0RUdQ
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)

i cooked a thing, it wasn't horrible
up2.it/ali/dinner2a.jpg
up2.it/ali/dinner1a.jpg

too much rice, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:00, Reply)

I like the first shot
if it tasted as good as the photography, then it's a winner.
(berk, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:03, Reply)

I'm considerably better at photography
than cooking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:04, Reply)

that looks like something you'd see in a magazine

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:03, Reply)

because photography is easy
and cooking is hard
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:05, Reply)

cooking MY WILLY
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:11, Reply)

that's hard, is it?
...shame
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Oh wow.
Looking at the first picture, you've had brown and black with a bit of red and green for you dinner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:18, Reply)

its all about the colours

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:20, Reply)

Racist.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:21, Reply)

It looks yummy.
Considerably more yummy than the Dolmio microwave pasta bolgnese I had.

I have Thorntons chocolate Jumbles for afters though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:21, Reply)

Microwave pasta is just wrong.
How difficult is it to heat a pan filled with water?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Not hard at all
but microwave pasta takes all of 90 seconds. I refuse to wait longer than that for 'food'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:27, Reply)

I'll bet you're the sort of person who puts a packet of crisps in the car when you go to the 'drive thru'
Just in case there is a big order being processed between the point where you pay, and the window where you have to collect your food.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:30, Reply)

Looks faulous !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jul 2011, 19:25, Reply)