Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Inaccurate news story ahoy!news.yahoo.com/patsy-clines-restored-house-opening-va-193532152.html
Well maybe not inaccurate, but they forgot to mention you can buy crack a couple streets away.
alt: I heard Prince Harry asked B3th out on a date, but she refused because she thinks gingers smell funny.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:18,
179 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Stuff that, I've just had a conversation with Rufus Brevett on Twitter.He's one of my favourite players ever, when I shouted "Ruuuuuuuuufusssssssss!" at him at Basel airport a couple years ago he shook my hand and called me a lovely man. God I love him. AND I've just found the best t-shirt in the world. Today has been fantastic.
(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:22, Reply)
And his R&B Masterclass on Waller FM is usually worth a listen.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:30,
Reply)
the quarterback of my nfl team is super hot and engaged to a girl named sarah marshallI'd like to meet him and tell him to forget her
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:30,
Reply)
I heard Chickenlady isn't actually a chicken at all
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:22,
Reply)
I don't know why I like this so much.It's not very funny but I'm having fun with it.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:25,
Reply)
don't lick their facesthey get cross
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:26,
Reply)
I HEARD DOZER LIKES TO SHAG DANCERSBUT ONLY BRUNETTES
MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:24,
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That would encompass DFbut not his missus.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:26,
Reply)
I love brunettes.I make very rare exceptions for blondes. Cameron Diaz most notably.
So fucking sue me.
(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:46, Reply)
don't anger the blonde mafia(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:50,
Reply)
Well hello ; )But you wouldn't want me now I've gone crazy haired.
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girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:53,
Reply)
Hi.*flashes grin*
That's a very fine chardonnay you're not drinking.
(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:03, Reply)
I forgot what happens when you debate with extremests, no matter what side they're on. www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=138412412911716&id=248089495201877¬if_t=share_reply
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:31,
Reply)
some people have too much time on their hands...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:32,
Reply)
The thing with these groups are, they're so blinded by hate for the likes of who they're against (just the same as the EDL are for the muslims)....... that they put everything remotely linked onto them like it's their entirely fault and every action they do, such as brushing their teeth, is BECAUSE THEY'RE EVIL.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:42,
Reply)
I bet that EDL fascist uses an inferior brand of FASCIST TOOTHPASTE because he's a FASCIST!(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:44, Reply)
That chap clearly wasn't going to be reasoned with, was he?I wouldn't be surprised if he were one of the people that thought it was big and clever to turn up to that edition of Question Time purely to heckle Nick Griffin.
(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:41, Reply)
while complaining that the BBC gave him an audiance.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:48,
Reply)
I thought in the interview with BBC3, it came as if she was trying to get him to say that bombing mosques was a good idea.It came off as very umprofesional, and interview-wise, Robinson pwnd her, but the Hope Not Hate lot are saying it's a victory over the EDL because that's what their hatred does... exactly the same as how the BNP lot said that Nick Griffin came off looking good when he was on question time.
None of them can see past their noses, they're all just as bad as each other.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:20,
Reply)
didnt searchlight say there werent links between him and the edl?And they're very anti EDL
(, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:22, Reply)
I reckon the links were tennious at best, he also probably ate mcdonalds a few times too.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:35,
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Alright dude?www.b3ta.com/talk/7259989
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:51,
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Those /talkers.Whataretheylikeeh?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:53,
Reply)
This is certainly true in baldmonkey's case.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:30,
Reply)
I get confused with links like that.I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
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girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:54,
Reply)
Internet hugging for boys is when you thwack your cock on the keyboard, right?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:52,
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BBC3 at 8pm DGCan you provide a translation for us southern-types?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:52,
Reply)
No.My head hurts and this sounds too much like hard work.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 19:53,
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Alright.Apart from the low throb headache I've fucking had since Saturday, thanks. I feel an appointment with the osteopath coming on. What about you guys?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:26,
Reply)
I'm shattered.So I'm going to have an early night me thinks.
If you've had a headache since Saturday, then maybe a doctor would be a good place to start.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:27,
Reply)
Nah, I reckon it's spine related.This has happened before and an osteopath sorted it out. I did go to a Doctor about it once, and they recommended the same, so... Most headaches are either spine related or caused by dehydration. And I'm not dehydrated 'cos I've drank loads of beer, me!
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:29,
Reply)
Are you still smurkin' the rollies man!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:30,
Reply)
I am, yes.Unless I'm out on my own then I'll buy a pack for convenience.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:31,
Reply)
Woo! Saving money and still smoking.That has to be the future. Still on the menthol filters as well?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:32,
Reply)
Yep, although I ran out last night and had to resort to normal ones.In other news, I've bought a tent.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:34,
Reply)
Where are you going with your tent,And what tent did you buy?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:35,
Reply)
Technically I'm not going anywhere with itas I'm too old for that shit. Two mates have organised a festival locally, and we're staying at theirs afterwards as it's in the middle of nowhere. Sweary Jr and his mate are coming too, but there's not enough room in the house as it'll be full, so the tent's for them to stay in the garden.
It's a Regatta 2 man pop up job that came with camping mattresses, sleeping bags and folding chairs. Looks alright. Not expensive but it'll do the job.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:42,
Reply)
Pop up tents are fine until you have to take them down.A mate of mine ordered one when they first came out and he had it delivered to work. With everyone wanting to see this new development in the world of camping, he gave in to pressure and agreed to 'open it' in the office.
It was up for 4 days before someone worked out how to take the fucking thing down again.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:46,
Reply)
I have heard this...I'm sure we'll have a loltastic time working it all out though.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:46,
Reply)
Worth looking for a YouTube video in advance.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:47,
Reply)
That's an idea...(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:50,
Reply)
Doesn't mean it'll make it any easier!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:50,
Reply)
Well at least we'll know what to expect.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:53,
Reply)
It'll be funny as fuck for about 5 minutes.Then you'll start getting pissy with each other.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:55,
Reply)
See above.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:42,
Reply)
I am very much looking forward to it.I'm also going to cook my signature dish for you on the Saturday as we found some bargain bream earlier today :)
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:54,
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I just need to remember to get the brie, watercress and spring onions.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
*hugs your neck**injects you with sunshine and rainbows*
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:19,
Reply)
using a unicorn horn needle?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
Jesus fucking christthat chilli I sliced up and put on my pizza was painfully hot.
I'm going to remember that tomorrow and no mistake.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:52,
Reply)
Don't have a wank whatever you do!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 20:55,
Reply)
I'm not as far north as youso I have soap and hot water.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
WITCHCRAFT!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
I don't know what to do wth myselfI'm not sure I can even work up the enthusiasm to buy and eat cheesecake
wtf do people do when they've done something good? I'm not used to this shit
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
Beer.You know it makes sense.
And, if you don't have to get up early tomorrow, drink two more than you'd normally have.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:03,
Reply)
i have to be awake by 10 to call the tattooistsnot sure I can be arsed with beer, either
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:04,
Reply)
i have no idea where I'd start to find drugsI expect I could find somewhere, but I think I'd look like a n00b.
Think I might just go out for a bit of a drive or something
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:07,
Reply)
Go for a drive.And then fuck a sheep. That's what people round your way do innit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:08,
Reply)
that's what I hear(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:09,
Reply)
So are you going for inking tomorrow, or do you just need to book an appointment?Also, gaz us a pic of what you're having done.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:12,
Reply)
I don't really have a picture of the designI'll take a photo tomorrow
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:13,
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Fair enough.Although I might not care that much tomorrow. Just so you know.
You've already had some of my attention this week, what with me having to wish you well for your interview.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:14,
Reply)
i know I've been like super-beakerand everything.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
I booked an appointment for 3I just have to call them to confirm I'm not chickening out.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:13,
Reply)
Is this your first tatt, and how long have you been thinking about getting one?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:15,
Reply)
yesa while. Off and on for years - mostly off on the basis I was convinced I would never settle on anything I'd like. It's coalesced into a doable idea in the last few months.
I blame Iain M Banks' last book, but if you've not read it, that means nothing
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:16,
Reply)
I haven't read it.It means nothing.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:17,
Reply)
MehI probably couldn't explain why it was important anyway
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:19,
Reply)
Is it me your looking for................How is babby and Mrs?
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girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:14,
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is thebaby thing all noisy?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:17,
Reply)
Never, she is absolutely perfectShe only cries a bit when I change her nappy
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:19,
Reply)
She probably thinks you're looking at her bitsyou filthy perv.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
I'm fine. I've not squeezed a babies head through my fanny.(
girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:23,
Reply)
Well I'm pleased for your fanny!I'm watching The Code on BBC 2 but I fear I have had too much wine to understand fully
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:26,
Reply)
I have had too much wine which is why I'm watching Blade Trinity.(
girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
I'm watching Ace of Cakesand wondering why I have no cake.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
Oh my god it's you!!!!!!!!!How do's, fella. All good chez Ape?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
No point asking him B3th.I gave him a 'Word!' shout and the cunt ignored me.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
Nope, see below.Looks like it's just you he hates.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
What a fucking cunt he is.Monty was right all along.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
Sorry jeffy! On my phone so not very observant!How are you? How's the dog fucking going?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
I'm up to my guts in greyhounds.So, parenthood is treating you well!
Delighted to hear it mate.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:34,
Reply)
Ta very much!Although I'm biased, she is so pretty she breaks my heart
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:36,
Reply)
You wait 'till she wants to bring boys home.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:39,
Reply)
Awkward, I live above an 80 year old woman...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:44,
Reply)
She might grow up to be a lezzer who likes grannies.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:46,
Reply)
Couldn't be better,making a little babba is the best thing I've ever done(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
I HEARD NAKED APE SQUEEZED A LEMON OUT OF HIS JAP EYE(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:28,
Reply)
I bet that smarted a bit.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
Hi Krizzabelle, hav you been horse riding yet?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
NO >:(I'm about to LOSE MY JOB.
I almost wrote hob there, but don't worry I still have a hob.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
Re what I said yesterday.Feel free to gaz me your 'skills' - I have very few qualifications and I'm doing okay. Alternatively (and I'm sure he won't mind me mentioning it) Bob was in recruitment, so he might be able to go over your C.V if you ask him nicely.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
Don't fall for it, K!Bobby overhauled my CV for me, and I've not had a single reply from the last four applications.
Of course, it could just be that I'm unemployable...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:35,
Reply)
I'm applying to fridays tonight, I hear they make bank.If that doesn't work I could always sauce it up and become a model
tinyurl.com/6bdglwv
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:38,
Reply)
You've got more stateside employment than she has!Point worth noting here. You might have more chance of a job if you're prepared to work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday... as well as Friday.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:41,
Reply)
What does working at Fridays involve?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:44,
Reply)
it's a restaurant, so, I guess whatever people do when they work in a restaurant?(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:45,
Reply)
I can't jizz in soup! I doubt they'll let me watch porn at all.(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:48,
Reply)
prepare it at home and bring it in with you(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:50,
Reply)
Am I right in thinking that staff in restaurants in the states pay tax on tips they've not yet received?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:47,
Reply)
I'd check that out before you waste your time applying.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:50,
Reply)
why the hell would you pay tax on money you haven't recieved? I reckon they take it out of your pay instead of nightly tips?
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:52,
Reply)
I'm sure I read somewhere that waiting staff were taxed, based on 'expected tips' or that they received no minimum wageOr something.
This was a few years back mind you.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:56,
Reply)
yeah, you don't get minimum wage, you get like $2.50 an hour or something(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:57,
Reply)
Aren't there any high-end restaurants you could try your luck with?The folk there would probably be better tippers, if that is where the bulk of your income would come from.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 22:00,
Reply)
Oh no! : (Did you refuse perv boss one too many times?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:34,
Reply)
Apparently I don't make them enough money, and so they told me yesterday my replacement will be here in 2 weeksand that he may have a few days worth cleaning and painting for me to do but that's about it
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:39,
Reply)
How do you make the company money?I guessed you fixed cars or something?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:43,
Reply)
In the office mostly. Apparently I don't cheat people as much as this guy does.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:44,
Reply)
That sucksTake a dump in the coffee pot
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:47,
Reply)
she's supposed to stand topless outside the garageshouting "Come on in here, fuckers!"
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:45,
Reply)
OKAY ANYWAYCongrats on Mum and Babe, hope things continue to be amazing!
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:41,
Reply)
I have cut my shin falling off the bike but I do love it.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:30,
Reply)
My ex 'fell off her bike' on a monthly basis.It coincided with 'Liverpool playing at home'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:31,
Reply)
I chipped my front tooth falling off a bike. It was very traumatic, blood and EVERYTHING.(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:32,
Reply)
Not till Monday, just thought I'd pop in and say hello(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:42,
Reply)
what if we don't want you back?What if we've moved on, huh? Have you thought about taht?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:44,
Reply)
This sounds like the ranting of a broken heart(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:48,
Reply)
Did you chew a tampon to soak the blood up?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:42,
Reply)
OMG ME TOO!In fact I've chipped my front teeth three times. The first two times were fine as the dentist just evened them out; the third time took a small chip out of the tooth. I've never bothered getting it fixed as it's not really a big deal.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:46,
Reply)
Cheeky bastard.It's barely noticeable, which is why I've never had it fixed. Plus my mum had a tooth capped and it gave her nothing but grief.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:51,
Reply)
They used cavity filling to fix mine.They made half my tooth brown with that shit, I called them and the lady was like "Well, you smoke right?" and I was all bitch whatever my teeth aren't brown and they fixed it FOR FREE. Holla.
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jul 2011, 21:53,
Reply)
To be truthful I haven't been to the dentist for about five years.I had a checkup booked, but was skint and cancelled it with the intention of rebooking a couple of months later. Never got round to it. I'm probably off their books by now.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 27 Jul 2011, 22:01,
Reply)
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