For god's sake don't open with that when you go to TGIF for an interview.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:05, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm fucking excellent at customer service, I'll be all "Welcome to Friday's, how are y'all doin' today? Good, good. What can I get y'all to drink"
and they'd totally be all YOU ARE AWESOME
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:11, Reply)

*tips*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Hmm wouldn't work in the UK
We don't like to be served by chirpy people. We prefer a more surly waiter.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:13, Reply)

The sort that just stands there and looks at you?
I hate that.
I went to the butchers the other day and his son was working and he did that. I wanted to swat some manners into him. Weren't he raised in the country? Golly.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Anytime anyone ever says golly I'm reminded of this
Click for large image.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)

*doesn't get it*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

It's the female lead from Back to the Future.
And said "Golly" a lot.

Never mind, it's just how my mind works.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:22, Reply)

You'd be OK
Being an obvious septic, people would accept it from you. If I id it they'd know I was taking the piss.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)

hmm...if I were to punch you for calling me a septic, that'd be acceptable right?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I'm lazy
I keep remembering it should be red-neck and not yank and then not bothering to type it. Can we agree on an acceptable short and derogatory term for your people?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:23, Reply)

redneck is about as derogatory as I'll let you get, bub

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:26, Reply)

You'll have to travel a long way to punch me.
Which bit of the south are you in again? Do they still lynch people?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

don't be stupid

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Sorry, I thought that was a bit OTT once I posted it
but then deleting it wouldn't guarantee you hadn't seen it but would make it harder for you to call me a tit.

*offers internet hugz*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I live in Virginia, by the way, which means I'm not a total swampmonster but I also don't have much of an accent.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Shame about the accent
I'd have thought that was one of the best bits.

*looks up Virginia on a map*
That's more middling than south, really. I'm sure it's.... erm pretty or something /knows nothing about america
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:09, Reply)

It's gorgeous, actually.
And it's the south.
I don't tell you "facts" about where you live, do I?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I once had a Canadian telling me that while we may not have the Euro in Devon
the rest of the UK definitely did.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Because he'd definitely know.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:17, Reply)

she
but yeah, all you can do in that situation is introduce mr face to mrs palm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Have a gander at the photo album on my facebook 9/12/2009 or something like that
there's a fuck ton of photos from the national park here
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Don't be ridiculous.
You're not black.
( Kroney, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

How about hillbilly?
Or maybe clodhopper, hick or rube?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Are hillybillies southern?
I thought they were mountain folk.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Yes because they don't have mountains in the south.
Definitely. The Appalachians are in upstate New York, right?

*belms*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I definitely cannot see The Appalachians out my bedroom window.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Fuck you Boyce
/ac

I'm geographically illiterate, it's a very debilitating condition, compounded by not needing to know where anything is outside of London, because it's all shit, innit?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Does rather make the whole 'teasing Americans because you perceive them to be ignorant' game a little trickier.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:48, Reply)

you'd think so, wouldn't you?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:10, Reply)

clodhoppers are shoes
hick is okay
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Agreed on the shoes
My mum used to call them that, but the term seems to have gone out of common usage.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

From what I've seen of some hillbillies on TV
They seem a pretty smart bunch. The guy from Dual Survival, for instance.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I saw this documentary about them once.
They discovered oil and moved to LA.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Country Bumpkin !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Let's not be horrible to Kristine folks.
Not this week.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Ah man, don't give me special treatment or anything ;)

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

You deserve a bit of pandering.

( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Naw :)

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:51, Reply)

The first time I went to america
every shop assistant was like "Hi, how are ya?" and smiley. It was quite a culture shock.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:17, Reply)

We are LOVELY and that's why you all hate us, it's not because we're fat.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)

we don't want people being all smiley and helpful
if I wanted a chat I'd go see my mates.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

well fuck off the internet then

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I wasn't talking about now
I meant in a restaurant or a shop
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I know.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I know you know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I know you know I know

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

the potion with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

My girls are going to be so disappointed in us.
Our shop assistants look at you like you're not fit to empty their bins.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Mostly lovely.
New Yorkers can fuck the fuck off. People from Virginia are nice enough though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

This is true.
My friend Laurie certainly is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Americans who have been to England always seem surprised at how polite I am.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I went out with an American girl for a bit.
She had to learn how to eat properly with cutlery when she came here. She was fucking brilliant though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:28, Reply)

what, did she just use her hands to smash the food into her face?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

You eat like trained chimps.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Chopped it all up first, and then ate it all by fork with an elbow on the table.
I mean, really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:36, Reply)

the heathen
/has never ever done that in her life, honest
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I still love you, no matter what.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:41, Reply)

*beams*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I've known a few Americans who do it
it's really weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:57, Reply)

^oh, this. With the cutlery, I mean.
They're fascinated to watch me pile food on the back of my fork. It's like they're watching some tribal ritual or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I've only seen this in movies.
You actually do that?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:34, Reply)

It's how you'rer meant to do it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

You'rer not wrong.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

my gonzism is getting wurs

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

see also, not holding the knife like a pen.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I have great pals in New York. They're excellent people.


Perhaps they just thought you were a wanker and didn't mind you knowing this?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)

No, really.
The Americans I was travelling with remarked on the fact as well. This one guy who worked in the left luggage facility was a complete and total tool. I had to deal with him four times in the course of my visit to the States, and he was a dick every single time.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You only disliked him because you were in the left luggage department and he was mocking your name.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Hahah I was in New York once and a shop assistant took it 'one louder' by asking 'how are you?'
I was somewhat annoyed by this fatuous enquiry so instead of the 'fine thanks' she was expecting I made up some lies about how 'not good, actually, my cat's just died and my dad's just lost his job' or similar and the look of dismay on the poor girl's face actually brings on a pang of guilt to this day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You've just shattered my illusion of you being a sociopath.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I'm lying, really I think it's funny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I was about to resoundingly mock you for feeling guilt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Guilt is for the weak.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

you tit
It's because we CARE. Or pretend to care. One of those two.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:28, Reply)