Do I have to read all of that?
Time for a good news thread I think. Apparently, a media company based in York are interested in me... time for a proper grown up job I think.

What good news have you all had recently?

Alt: Why does life suck for you?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:05, 113 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good on you, Luggers.
Alt: mainly because I am such an utter, utter twat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Are the baliffs camped outside again?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Actually what is really getting me down
is that my father is over in the UK and my ex won't let me take my kid to see him in Oxford next Sunday. He's been a shit grandfather but I really think it's a good thing to do anyway, I am most upset.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Fair do's can he not come to London though?
Surely he wants to see his grandaughter and maybe even you?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:38, Reply)

That was what she was saying.
The thing is he's here for work and only has one day off - and my sister's having lunch with him in Oxford and I am joining them.

The thing is if my old boy wasn't such a selfish, lazy old tosser he would have made it possible to come to town and he just hasn't bothered.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:48, Reply)

I wouldn't feel too bad then, Monty.
You've made an effort and failed and he's just doing what suits him.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)

Whilst this is right it makes me feel immensely sad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:58, Reply)

For a job, or for a potential sexual relationship?
I'm not dead yet. That's probably a cause for positivity every morning to be honest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:08, Reply)

You think a York-based media company wants The Luggage for a sexual relationship?
Do offices still employ gimps?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:11, Reply)

No mate.
The office isn't in bloody Ipswich.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Oh this is easy
Showed my 6-year-old nephew Star Wars for the first time and he loved it. I experienced what must, surely, be the greatest moment of parenthood without having had to raise him.

Alt: had to show him on VHS because my collector's edition original trilogy DVD box set has disappeared into thin air.

Congrats on the job mate!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Haven't got it yet.
Need to see if I can ace the interview... but thanks!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:12, Reply)

I like York.
Alt: I am struggling to save money, due to an epic commute and maintaining the car, petrol, etc. Not being able to save money is stopping me from moving closer or buying a more efficient (by this I mean "faster") car.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I didn't die.

I'd love a real grown up job. I love what I do, but it would be nice to know you were going to be paid at the end of the month.

Also, in case people didn't see it in that last thread: http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1304308

Alt: I feel like I've been in a fight with a Scouser.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:11, Reply)

They left you up on bricks?
Ouch...

And congratulations!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I was tossed about like a ragdoll
and consequently am stiff all over.

How long can I milk the glory on this one? I'm enjoying not being boring.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:17, Reply)

they jemmied your back doors open and nicked your Blaupunkt?
ooof.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:15, Reply)

hahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)

They ran into you in an old Sierra
and stole all your electronics?
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:17, Reply)

i may look for a new job, need a change
the job descriptions in the pay bracket i'm looking for are terrifying though!

Good news must be my little babba, who was weighed again today and piles in at a mighty 5lbs 12Oz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:16, Reply)

51 pounds?
that's some pie action.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:17, Reply)

tits
ninjaring now
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:18, Reply)

Christ, most babies weigh more than that when they're born!
Was she a tiny one?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:18, Reply)

5 pounds exactly
She is a wee little might, I can carry her in one hand
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:20, Reply)

51 pounds 12 ounces?
Mind piss.

Congrats to your old lady anyway.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:19, Reply)

You're too late piss weasel

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Oh, bit of good news
We're getting a hawt chixxor coming to work in our department. She'll enjoy that.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:25, Reply)

this does not necessarily mean you'll get laid
you do know this, right?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)

you mean she might be a lesbian?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:31, Reply)

well yes
every hawt chick who doesn't want to get boned by kroney is a licker, right?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:32, Reply)

That's alright, she's being zany
having seen me manfully striding around Uxbridge on many an occasion, she knows exactly what sort of paragon of masculine virtue I am.

In fact, I am so hot she was afraid to approach me or even make eye contact.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:33, Reply)

you were too busy kicking tramps
and raping pigeons...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)

I do like to kick a tramp.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:50, Reply)

or raping tramps
and kicking pigeons. whichever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Different days, different moods.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Because now barnet PCT have fucked up TWO referals of mine.
I might go and sue them or something, that'll teach them for being so cash-strapped that they can't employe compitance.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:29, Reply)

OH OH OH OH, I JUST THOUGHT UP A JOKE, OR A THOUGHT, OR SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE FUNNY.
You know how you got Yorkshire Tea, how comes they have Yorkshire Tea but can't prounce 't's?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Yorkshire tea
for Yorkshire speech impediments.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I just grabbed my moobs, they're now more than a handful.
Sad Times.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:33, Reply)

No, wait, they're exactly a handful, that's perfect, right?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:34, Reply)

I wouldn't know.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:35, Reply)

You replace his NG spray with lynx and you can find out by christmas, just as soon as probate comes through.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:37, Reply)

oh, you card!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:38, Reply)

it depends on how pert they are
if they're spaniel's ears, no amount of big or small is going to save them.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:36, Reply)

it's the moles and scraggly hairs that are really off putting
*BOKES HARD*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I saw an actual woman with hairy tits once
on Platform 5 of Reading Station. She was wearing a low cut red dress. Her choice of attire, given her affliction, baffles me to this day.

I didn't mind though, werewolf titty gives me a right rock-on.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:41, Reply)

dude it was fucking reading
READING.

what did you expect??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:49, Reply)

I've been to various places with less than salubrious reputations
and Reading is far from the worst. Albeit with a somewhat higher chance of being stabbed.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Sentances, pro-nounes, grammar, punctuation.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:02, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:57, Reply)

more than a mouthful is just a waste
or so I've heard
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:10, Reply)

I live in York.
Which media company? Leeds is the place for media jobs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:34, Reply)

I think you'll find London is the place for all jobs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I meant in the environs of York, my simian colleague.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:42, Reply)

ioko
Not one I've heard of before. They handle stuff like 4OD and iPlayer.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 17:56, Reply)

they are quite new and therefore risky.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:07, Reply)

They've been going since 1996.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Last week was for good news
This week is for..um...I'm not sure what this week is for.

well done on the whole potential job thing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Oh I did get my first complement from
a stranger for my tattoo. Yay!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:16, Reply)

he wants to PUT IT IN YOU.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:25, Reply)

he's bit camp
for that to be the case
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:26, Reply)

up your butt then?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:34, Reply)

i'm sorry i don't know why i wrote that
today has been weird
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:34, Reply)

haha - s'ok, that's how we roll here
why's today been weird?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:37, Reply)

Alt:
Because I thought I was coming down with the JeffAIDS, but it turns out I've got a virus that a number of other people in the office have had.

I've not eaten properly for two days. :(

On the plus side, I've got nothing left to vomm-up.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:35, Reply)

oh noes!
JeffAids is the worst of the illnesses, you had it for about a year last time?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:38, Reply)

There is no cure for Jeffaids
Once you have it, that's it. Your days are effectively numbered.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:39, Reply)

*Notices your sig*
She's lying.
She's lying.

Ain't no doubt it's plain to see...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:40, Reply)

and it's no use crying about it
stop those crocodile tears shoes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:40, Reply)

Well, I think that covers his entire back catalogue.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:41, Reply)

yup
I don't know any others
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:42, Reply)

^ She's lying.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:42, Reply)

don't forget miming the slapped arse
that is his face.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:42, Reply)

I've not got the JeffAIDS though, Just a virus,
Still feel like shite.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:39, Reply)

Will it make you feel any better to hear
that I'm going to be doing a pier recce at the beginning of September?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:44, Reply)

It would do if I believed you.
What is there to recce exactly? It's a pier. You walk along it, mutter something about, 'fuck me, they spent 50 million on this!' walk off again, go to the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:46, Reply)

When my american girls come over at the beginning of September
they want to go on the pier. I'll case the joint, find out where the best chips are, and report back.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:47, Reply)

Please also get a full bar tarrif, so I see what range of beers and ciders are available.
Likewise, if they have a little cafe that sells toasted-teacakes, I'd also like information.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Good man
I'm getting £50 off the bank, because they've been shit!

Alt: Because I'm a fucking idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:39, Reply)

That's quite an achievement.
Well done.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:44, Reply)

dont' spend it all at once

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:45, Reply)

I have a new job (yay)
but I'm likely to be gypped out of my redundancy because of it (boo). Lordy, how I hate being poor.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:46, Reply)

How does that work berk?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:47, Reply)

If I complete my contract at my current place
I will get two weeks wages redundancy pay. The new place are adamant that they want me to start before my contract ends, thus gypping me out of a lot of money for a couple of weeks work.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:51, Reply)

How close are the dates likely to be?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:52, Reply)

They wanted me 1st september
I said it wasn't do-able, offered a start date 1st October (allowing me to complete my current contract) they're come back and said I can start 19th September latest, earlier would be better, later isn't feasible. So potentially I'm going to lose out on £800 for the sake of a fortnight. I have told them this, very politely and firmly, that either they recompense me or damn well wait.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Exactly right.
Hope it works out for you mate, you deserve a bit of luck.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Tey can't actually force you to start before the end of your notice.
It's ytour notice period, it's a legal requirement.
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Well, I've only a month's notice to give
which would take me to the start of september...so I can't argue that.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:05, Reply)

Oh, well, good luck!

( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:09, Reply)

Have you told your new place this?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:54, Reply)

Yeah, this morning
I haven't yet heard back from them though. *worries*
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:59, Reply)

See these people that have jobs and regular sex
those people, yeah? They make me sick.


Sick and jealous.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:48, Reply)

yeah *shakes fist*
you're allowed one or the other
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:49, Reply)

You have a husband!
you can have sex as often as you like/as often as you're capable.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:50, Reply)

hahahaha!
We can tell you've never been married.
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

If it means not getting laid as often then I'd just as soon not bother
although I am less vehemently anti-marriage than I was.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:06, Reply)

swipe darling, are you still at work or are you home yet?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:47, Reply)

I didn't answer any of the questions.
Erm, my audio gear is turning up this weekend and I've discovered a sudden urge to splash a little of my hard-earned cash on a two-octave keyboard and MIDI controller. Alt: life's alright actually, I'm quite the optimist.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Thanks for reminding me that I will soon have to start touting myself to prospective employers.
Oh, and good luck.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:53, Reply)

DEEEEEGEEEEEE!
Did the hound enjoy her birthday?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:53, Reply)

Good for you Luggage
Haven't had any good news really. I think God has decided to fuck me off properly for the span of my life
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:56, Reply)

What sort of work are you looking for Amberl?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Jeffypoo! are you ill my dear : (((((((

( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 18:59, Reply)

When I eat, I vomit.
Lots of folk have had it, so it's just a case of waiting for it to pass.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:00, Reply)

Will hamper your weight gain though.
How long will it last?
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Estimates vary between 3 and 6 days.
It hasn't stopped me from doing anyway, bar eating.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Big squishy get well hugs.

( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:04, Reply)

At this point pretty much anything
best would be something that doesn't look too bad on my C.V. so adminstration or whatever. I want to fill it up a bit before applying for jobs I want.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:03, Reply)

Alt: Everyone's going out to some new place tonight.
Free to get in, £1 drinks. Although the latter is irrelevant for me seeing as I'm not drinking, as it stands I can't go because I'm the only twenty year old in the country without identification.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:06, Reply)

Have you lost your passport?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:08, Reply)

It's been lost for bare time, yo.
It fell out my pocket at my local station as I got on a train. Some kid picked it up and shouted through the window that he'd hand it in. He didn't, the little swine.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:10, Reply)

Good news: Vision Thing is still a cracking album
so buying the CD for £2.50 while awaiting the return of my Vinyl was well worth it. Also, life is generally good, I'm on holiday, I have good friends, I did some clothes shopping today and bought some more communist pants.

Alt: not a lot really, it's a bit hot, some shorts I spent all of £4 on don't fit me which I rather expected. One of my bikes has a flat tyre and it's the rear wheel! disaster, or something.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 2 Aug 2011, 19:30, Reply)