Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
I've just got into workand it looks like there's been a break in. The internal security door has the handle off it's screws and the security plate around the lock has been gone at with a jemmy.
Luckily there is no sign of anything missing in my office.
Have you ever been burgled*?
* as in robbed, not some euphemism for buggery
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:08, 245 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Good day.No, I've not - and I utterly deserve to have been. I've accidentally left my front door open all day on several occasions.
But then, I'm an 'ace face' round the East End so no-one would fackin' dare turn my gaff over innit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:15,
Reply)
When in AustraliaI discovered how you couldn't trust 7 and 10 year olds to actually close a front door properly.
On many occasions I would come back from dropping them at school to find the door swinging open, sometimes it wouldn't be until I picked them up that evening.
Fortunately I lived in a nice bit without
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)
It's a 1960s term for a top mod.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
The term 'face' for a 'known geezer' on the mod scenecan be seen in 'The Small Faces' who were diminutive mods - and in the pre-Who 'High Numbers' single 'I'm The Face'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:42,
Reply)
Ah, of courseBeen a while since I saw Quadrophenia. It's not very good, you see
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)
YOU'RE bent.Ergo, you are a mod.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
I have to sayI think I'd have been a rocker. I'm too grubby to have been a mod and I prefer rock'n'roll to soul.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
I prefer the film to the music.The Who were shite by then, IMHO.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
I have little time for eitherWas never a fan. They played Glastonbury last time I was there - the organisers were good enough to ensure they weren't the worst of the headliners by putting The Killers on as well. I was off watching your mates Tom and Ed
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Up to about 1972 The Who were one of the most original and entertaining bands on earth.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:56,
Reply)
Go on thenGive me something to look up - your previous in this respect has been uniformly excellent
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)
'I Can See For Miles'is one of the best British psychedelic singles EVER.
I also love their first single 'I Can't Explain' with it's Kinks-style tightness. The guitar solo was played by Jimmy Page, fact fans.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:04,
Reply)
Thank you very muchIf these songs are "fucking shit" you will be hearing from my lawyers
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Oh they are not shit.By the way - re 'I can see for miles' - at the peak of the psych era only The Who would be so contrary as to release a single with a one-note guitar solo.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
I never understood how The Who were mod musicBut this could be because by and large I like there music, and think mods are/were bent. Enlighten me Herr Doktor Boyce
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:12,
Reply)
The Who were only associated with the mod scene for their first three or four singles.After that they deserted that scene as it was dying out.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:17,
Reply)
Live At Leeds is fucking awesomeBest general intro to The Who, IMHO
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)
At first I thought you'd spelt "farce" wrongbut yours is good too.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
My parents place was turned over once when I was a kid.Luckily my then policy of keeping my bedroom floor 6 inches deep in random crap seemed to ensure they didn't nick anything of mine. Looking back I can't think I owned anything worth having, but I remember a feeling or having dodged a bullet at the time.
I also remember the usual feelings of outrage and violation. I think they took some jewellery of my mum's that had very little cash value but lots or sentimental value, but I don't remember being without a TV, so maybe they didn't take that no idea why, probably coz it was crap.
/dull.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:23,
Reply)
They might hav stolen your jazz mags"Bearded girls of the Motherland"
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:26,
Reply)
No, I'd have remembered thatI think I hid them under the carpet back then.
Gosh hw odd it seems to have an actual physical cache of pornography rathwer than just an internet connection.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
No but I was once kidnapped by a crack addict.In other news, my mum was gardening one day and came back into the house and made her way to the stairs only to find some little scrote stood at the top of the stairs. He claimed to be painting the house from the top down, Mum told hime to fack off and he did.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:25,
Reply)
These are different stories, I should have made that clear(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
Only had my car broken intofor my stereo. Left the top of the window open a crack (height of summer) so the insurance people wouldn't replace it. Nice.
How are we all this damp, miserable morning?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Funny you should mention thisYesterday morning we realised that some cunts had nicked clothing off our washing line. I'm not even joking.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Shouldn't be too hard to spot a chavin a pair of chaps and short shorts?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)
This is the ridiculous thingThey nicked a couple of nice tops of Ms Foxtrot's, some of my sleeveless running tops, and left all the knickers!
We're looking for scumbags with no dress sense or sense of style. Thank god we don't live in Liverpool.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)
perhaps they left the knickers as they'd already wanked in them in situ?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
If their aim was good enough to hit knickers that high off the ground then good luck to them(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)
extreme wanking.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
with Bear Gryyyyyylllllllsss(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:53,
Reply)
Dr Fox isn't even a real fox.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:07,
Reply)
I meant which Doctor Foxthere are at least 2. One of them might actually be a fox.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)
are there two?I was thinking of the ex-capital DJ. He's categorically not a fox.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:13,
Reply)
Is Liam Fox a doctor?He's no more a fox than I am a fruit... could've worded that better...
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Oh, of coursehe used to be an actual doctor though, didn't he?
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:16,
Reply)
Gosh, he was actually an GPI just assumed he had a PhD in general cuntery.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I can't imagine he would have been a pleasant GP to have.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
My favourite ever bit of the Mark and Lard showwas when they read out a story about someone going into a record store and asking for the latest release from anus johnson, it went on for a while but ended with the punchline that this person had infact forgotten about Dre and really wanted this song
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:13, Reply)
The suspect pool must be pretty smallHow many people even wear sequined thongs?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
I considered making a LOLARIOUS reference to Pink Floyd's first (and best) single but decided I was wasting my time.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:32,
Reply)
I won't lie to you Monters, I don't get itI grew up in a town called Arnold, if that helps
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)
It's a song about a man who steals clothes from washing lines(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
This is one of those situationswhere knowing the name of the song is not as useful as knowing the content of the song.
*is suitably abashed*
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)
They were so, so good - for about 18 months.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:54,
Reply)
Did they lose it before, after or because of Syd Barrett's departure, in your opinion?I've no doubt you'll lambast me for liking Dark Side of the Moon, so I won't mention it... damn.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Because of.When he was gone they became dire very, very quickly, I feel. The second LP is still good, though.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:06,
Reply)
It was probably like that scene in Full Monty when they're running away naked from the police.I reckon that's a daily occorance in Nottingham.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
HahahaI like this. Nottingham's disproportionate female to male ratio makes it the best place for such a thing to happen, too.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)
The total opposite of burglaryYesterday i was looking for a 'post it note' around my desk, but alas there were none to be found. I didn't mention this to anyone at all.
Yet, this morning a find a brand new multicoloured block of 'post its' on my desk. Maybe the tooth fairy is branching out into office supplies
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:35,
Reply)
Squatters broke into my flatBut there was nothing in it. They half assembled my flatmate's wardrobe though.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
Alright handsome.Sorry I've not been around, real life and all that.
(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:39,
Reply)
Lusters returns from Canada early next week - let's do something soon eh?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
Haha, yeah', I guess you're right there, an orgy between Me/You/Lampers/Lusty/FitFlatmate _would_ be a good idea.I'm with you on there.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
Oh gonz!^There should totally be a sitcom called that.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
I was trying to work out who'd call a sitcom"an orgy between me/you/lampers/etc etc" for about 5 minutes.
Until I realised you meant "Oh Gonz"
*gets coat*
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
If you want someone to provide the half time orangesand mop up any spills, then I'd be happy to help out.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)
just don't offer to be Gonz's physio.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:53,
Reply)
Woh', hold up a sec here, hold on one moment, under no circamstances do I want you to be the one mopping up the spills.Seriously, if you're the one doing that, then I'm not doing my laborious tasks right.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:54,
Reply)
And if we don't do it right, then, gosh darn it, we'll do it again until it _is_ done right.It's a Team Effort people, we all have our roles, please keep to them.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:55,
Reply)
There's no 'I' in team.There are, however, two in 'jizz-fountain'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:57,
Reply)
there's no "I" in teambut there is a "me" in "reverse dutch steamboat"
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
There is no "i" in team.But there is a "Me" between "Lampers, Lusty, Fit Flatmate, 4 metre gap, Security Door, Al on guard at the security door, PA Speaker-system and then Monty, and a bag of distracting cola (or coke or whatever it is he likes)".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
I love the idea of Monty being so entralled by a little baggie of smackthat he fails to care, or even notice, that his girlfriend is getting it on with a red haired porcelain skinned demi-goddess.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I've certainly never heard Gonz described like that before.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:23,
Reply)
Is that a real thing?I thought it was something the Daily Mash made up
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)
The "dutch steamboat"is the practice of shouting mental right-wing shit during anal sex despite being very liberal. Ergo, the reverse dutch steamboat is shouting left-wing stuff despite being Sarah Palin.
Although, I'm not entirely sure it's not a case of "life imitates Mash"
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:12,
Reply)
wait, what?"OH YEAH BABY, YEAH HONEY, THE DISPROTION BETWEEN WEALTH AND CLASS IS AN ABOMINATION OF THE CAPITALIST SYSTEM, YEAH, YEAH... I BEILIVE PRISONERS IN HER MAGISTY'S PRISON SERVICES DESERVE A RIGHT TO A FAIR DEMOCRATIC SYSTEM".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:15,
Reply)
It's a variant on a fairly old idea, Gonz.I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass, hard
Almost certainly NSFW but only text. I should also point out it probably helps if you know who Ann Coulter is.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:20,
Reply)
I'm starting to think you actually know everything in the worldEither that or you can bullshit with extraordinary conviction. Have you ever considered going on a BBC quiz show?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)
little bit from column a), little bit from column b).(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:21,
Reply)
If you were told by Dermot Mulroney or whoever presents Eggheads nowadaysthat you'd answered a question wrong, could you argue him to a standstill and claim the point?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:22, Reply)
probably not.Also, your sig - Is it a sign that I'm officially old that I was just thinking "why didn't he just put Chris Broad, he's more famous anyway?"
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
YesAlso, I believe that Broad Jnr will be a mainstay of this all-conquering England team for the next five or six years at least. I am futureproofing my sig.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)
In all seriousness, Mighty Badger is the most clever man I've ever meet.And when I consider people 'clever', it's not just what they know, but what they do with it, and how they handle their greatness (eg, you get some real bods out there who can't order a round in a pub, despite their superior knowledge of 'molecular shakesperian subcontext theories' or whatever, and therefore, aren't actually that smart, in my books).
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
I meant like drinks spillslike if you got a bit over enthusiastic and swung leg over like _that_, and then you didn't see the bottle of lucozade on the coffee table, and it got knocked and spilled on the floor, well, you'd need someone to clean that up or it could pose a risk of someone slipping and if they were in _that_ position they could easily pull a muscle if they slipped.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Yop goes off pretty quickly, too.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
Kenga From Big Brother styleé ?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
As if I am capable of assembling a wardrobe.Puh-lease.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:43,
Reply)
someone nicked my bike out of my car in Old Street.I couldn't really work out who would go to the bother of spending 20 mins or so removing a completely disassembled bike from the back seat and boot of a mini when once they had broken in they could have just taken the whole car. I suppose it says a lot about the respective qualities of the bike and car and the denziens of Old Street.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
reminds me of those georgia nicholson books9:50pm - our french homework is this: you are staying in a gite. you discover that your bike has been stolen. draft an advert for the local paper.
9:52pm - my advert reads: "merci beaucoup"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
I'm not sure a letter about the linear mass density of textile fibres would ever get thanks.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
When I lived with my sister in a student area in Manchester we were broken into.We didn't realise we had been burgled till about an hour after getting home. We didn't have much and they only took a broken Video player.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
you know what you need a couple of weeks before you get married?a viral thing that not only gives you a fever, but also covers you in red fucking spots that can possibly take 6-8 weeks to go away.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:17,
Reply)
Oh dearIf push comes to shove, can you wear makeup for the big day?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)
potentially, but I wouldn't be happy about it.I'm hoping it goes away quickly because it has come on pretty quickly.
I should be looking forward to my wedding and honeymoon, but so much shit has happened in the last couple of months, some good, some bad, and some just fucking weird, that it has prevented me from doing so.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:21,
Reply)
Crap news mate, hope it does go away quickly.Any idea what caused it? I had an interesting reaction to a plant a I waded through at the weekend!
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:25, Reply)
thanksit's a viral thing but I suspect being pretty rundown and stressed hasn't helped my immune system
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
I also had an interesting reaction to a plant on the weekend.LOL.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHWhy does this not surprise me. What you up to tonight Senor Boyce?
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Nah, I don't need thatgetting something like that would be really fucking shit.
Is it measles?
If you've got measles I'm not coming to your wedding, which by the way, I have not received my invitation for yet.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)
pityriasis rosea apparentlynot harmful, just fucking annoying.
Mine doesn't look anywhere near as bad as the pictures on google fortunately
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
my friend had that when we were about 17she was panicking but it actually cleared up in about a week.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
this is the sort of thing that I like to hear(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
c'est vraiof course everyone's body is different, but she was clear in no time. she was really worried about our 6th form ball, and was fine!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:36,
Reply)
Oh, well the stress of preparing for a 6th form ballis astronomical compared to a measly wedding.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)
the wedding hasn't stressed me out at allit's the financial woes (now sorted), new jobs, the operation that my mrs had, the illnesses we've both had and so on...
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:39,
Reply)
it was the same diseasethe cause is irrelevant. you spastic.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:40,
Reply)
well, I generally heal pretty quicklyso fingers are crossed.
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:37,
Reply)
Those look like lesionsare you sure you don't have face AIDS?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
CHCB had something nasty just before her wedding too.Must be stress induced.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
unfortunately it doesn't grow on my nose and foreheador eyelids
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
I live herebut am not from here
(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
Where are you from originally?I'm going to guess...Hereford
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
oh, me too...I hail from the shit hole that is Iver(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:42,
Reply)
High Wycombe(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
Oh dear...I can see why you moved to the sticks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
My schools music wing got broken into last year and 18 Apple Macs got nicked.A proper job and everything, they were nailed down too and they were still stolen.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Look it's only fucking Freefair!18 Apple Macs, what school did you go to?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:27,
Reply)
HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Oh that's fucking precious.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Thank you.I'm confident there is nothing I haven't passed with at least a B, the only anticipation in me is to see if I have any A's or A*'s.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:43, Reply)
I'm sure your teachers would tell you that this isn't trueBut no-one gives a shit about your GCSE results in the real world, so don't be gutted if one or two are below where you'd have hoped.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)
If you haven't managed at least 3 or 4 A*sthen you must be some sort of witless spastic.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)
I recon I have got A* in Biology, Physics, Chemistry and Business Studies, and obviously in the utterly without difficulty subject that is Citizenship.(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)
^thiseasiest exams you will ever take
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
Al, don't build the boy's hopes upBy saying that you imply that if he has got 3 or 4 A*'s, we might stop calling him a witless spastic
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)
Sorry I should have clarifiedby failing to achieve 3 or 4 A*s you automatically qualify for witless spastic status, but achieving that bare minimum still does not mean that you are not in fact a witless spastic.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)
GCSEs are piss easyif he fails them, it'll mean he's such a mong he doesn't deserve to be let back on the internet
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
I am not the kind of person who would leave school with no qualifications.So I have made bloody sure I have passed them all.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)
You only need to read a book to do that(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:47,
Reply)
Seriously, GCSEs are just warm-up examsA levels are important in that they get you to your university of choice, but that's all. Good on you for being ambitious though.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Damn those Eastern European gyppoes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
Where have you been, kid?We speculated that you've been in a permananent state of self-pollution since The Luggage wrote his magnum opus
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)
i know it's not fucking linksbut look www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/aug/22/are-books-dead-ewan-morrison
it's very long, you only need to read the first para or so. are kindles killing books? and has the internet killed porn? or is this sensationalist journalism?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
i hope soi need a whacking great advance for my AMAZING novel so that i can disappear off to a beach to write the rest of it.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
Is it a story about a wealthy but grounded woman who has terrible luck with men who are all bastardsbut then she finds a guy who's sensitive on the inside also rich and all protective and tough on the outside and that?
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
but DEFINITELY NOT GAY.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:31,
Reply)
Nobody who spends that much time on their bodyin a room full of sweaty men grunting and straining could possibly be gay.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)
He happens to own a bespoke travel book shop, and is really struggling so needs a lodger he doesn't like.Even though he has a few million in property value in Nottingham Hill
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
Lovely.Summer season is done now though I'm afraid, so it's back to navy blue (home) and red (away) in the sock department.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
wellbashing other men's balls around whilst bending over your hard stick and then getting all muddy and sweaty before showering it off together... is also not remotely gay, right??
(unless it's a load of schoolgirls playing it, knowing a pervert like you)
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
Is this like a bisexuals's protocol ala the gay hanky in a night club thing?one sock color for bum, another for fanny?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:48,
Reply)
I am not making a comment about swipebut I am making a comment about ALL FEMALE LITERATURE
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
protective and tough on the outside? are you nuts?we had our first ever argument on sat morning. admittedly it was absolutely tiny. but he argues like a woman, ie he sulks. and sulking is far too childish for my tastes. it annoys me.
he is over the sulking and is sweating a little bit now. which will do him good, it's no use being very sensitive about yourself and your own feelings if you can't extend that to other people's feelings. otherwise what's the point in going out with a delicate little flower; i might as well go back to the usual neanderthal type.
but if he sends the wrong kind of flowers... well. you wouldn't want to be him.......................
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:35,
Reply)
you mean liliescarnations are manky but lilies STINK
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
Lillies at least have a touch of class about themYour arguemnt is personal, carnations are renowned as the pikiest of all flowers and should never be given to anyone, ever.
except maybe if that recipient wants to build one of those shines to people that get run over
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
I think those a really funnywhen a rancid cunt died wrapping himself round a tree because he was drunk someone left a camping chair with a can of fosters in the drink holder and a little note saying something like "here's to you buddy" or something equally inane.
The idea that he would really appreciate a tribute of warm lager made me laugh out loud when I saw it.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)
Probably with him on the night out before(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:57,
Reply)
Wow, oh man, I'm like neo from the matrix!Talk about dodging bullets, I've never seen someone so over anylitical as you.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
ha, you should try himsometimes i think i have inadvertently become a lezzer and am dating a girl.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:47,
Reply)
It would explain your cckblocking "no boys" rule.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
So what you're saying here is that he's turned out to be yet another weak-chinned man-child?How many times do I have to have this conversation with you?
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
no, this one is very different to the restbut he has very different issues. mostly he's amazing, but sometimes i just want to staple shit to his head.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:59,
Reply)
The fact that vinyl still sells tells you all you need to know.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:32,
Reply)
Monty, I hate to break this to youbut nobody makes any money off vinyl, the sales are minuscule.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Not so.There's a specialist niche market for deluxe reissues on 180g vinyl in limited editions - there are firms who only do these, Ozit Morpheus for example, so they'd be bust by now if there was nothing in it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:58,
Reply)
for god's sake montyal knows best about everything. didn't you know that? you can't teach him anything about anything.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
i normally love youbut now i am singing that inside my head and i fucking HATE you!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
I like books and can't see myself not buying themI do however see how a kindle might be useful on holiday or when travelling
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
or, according to the advert, as something for your dog to lick.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
makes a change from your balls I suppose(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:31,
Reply)
I don't even own a dog.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
The ads are fucking ridiculous.They actually have the nerve to make out that reading a book – surely without any doubt a solitary activity – is somehow a social thing. How fucking stupid do they think people are?
Oh.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:36,
Reply)
These sort of arguments have been going around since the adventof recordable cassettes. Some people like some things, other people like other things. Most people will buy both.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
FUCK YOU, everyone should like what I likeotherwise you are just plain wrong in your tastes
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
I'm not arguing with a man who's in possession of 11 testicles.(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
NOT IF WATERSTONES COLLAPSES AND DIESAFTER BEING MUGGED AND STABBED BY DIGITAL BOOKS THEY WON'T
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
I myself have recently been downloading lots of ebooksand am looking forward to reading all the james bond novels.
The publishing industry has, much like the music industry, totally failed to see this coming and adapt properly, despite having a hell of a lot more warning than the music industry.
That they can justify selling an ebook for the same price as a paperback is ludicrous and it's unsurprising that piracy of electronic books is taking off.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)
OHMSS is a great Bond novel.Live and Let Die is the best. Film and book.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
Incorrect.The Living Daylights is the best Bond film.
Man card revoked.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
Me too, it's the only one I ever like and that was because it was based on the video game.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:39,
Reply)
"casino royale"because daniel craig in his black shirt and chinos, or all wet in his tux in the shower and sucking that girl's finger, is such that you literally cannot stay on your seat.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:38,
Reply)
I thought that was a superb film.And Craig's Bond genuinely is closest to Fleming's as he's a bit of a cunt.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:40,
Reply)
yupi'd never seen a bond film until CR, but i had read quite a few of the books. they are sooooo much darker than the films. now i've seen a few, some of them are pretty caricature-ish!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
I liked CRread a few of the books when I was little, they were pretty hilarious. I was disappointed when I finally watched the film of You Only Live Twice to find it was nothing like the book.
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
I don't really consider those to be part of the same franchise.They are all considerably better than the last lot, though. It is true.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:46,
Reply)
Did you aquaplane off your leather sofa and across the room?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
Or did they have to pry you off like the suction cups Gavin From Autoglass uses to refit windows?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:53,
Reply)
Shut up.It's got that woofter in it. And don't give me that 'closest to Fleming's Bond' nonsense either. It's a fucking lie. Dalton's Bond was an attempt to be a bit 'new man' and show his 'emotional side' - a far cry from the callous alkie of the books. And his eyes are weird and he has a terrible bum-chin.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:39,
Reply)
*shakes hands*Total gaylord. I believe he actually starts fucking crying at one point. As did I, at how utterly bent it was.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:40,
Reply)
You must be fooking joking squireTimothy Dalton sucks as JB. Fact.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)
If you can be this wrong on something so simplethen logically you must also be wrong on everything else ever.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:05,
Reply)
He's bent - you're bent.BENT.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:09,
Reply)
I heard his favourite Bond was George Lazenby(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:13,
Reply)
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHTDoes FRWL have scenes in Harlem? No it does not.
I concede that the 'gyppo camp girl fight scene' is fucking magnificent though
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:44,
Reply)
Live and Let Die was my favourite Bond film as a kidAnd the book is comfortably the best of those I've read. You Only Live Twice is the best of the films though, just for the gleeful absurdity.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)
The only time I would use a kindle would be if I was backpacking around the world.And then I wouldn't use it in case it got stolen.
(
girlinthehole, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
Someone decided they simply must have iteven if it was by burglary.
/film
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
*reads**understands*
*apologizes*
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
Many years ago my house was burgledProper cleaned out, TV, stereo, jewellery, ornaments - the lot.
Police gave not one flying toss, just handed over a 'crime number'. The insurance company sent over a loss adjuster who had a very bad time once he'd all but accused me of doing it myself and falsely claiming for stuff that I either didn't really own or hadn't been stolen. I threw him out - bodily.
Once the dust settled the insurance company paid in full and, through my 'friends in low places' connections, I got some of the jewellery back. However, I still hate insurance companies with a passion you wouldn't believe.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)
Wotcha Cap.Any more insane guitarists to recommend?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 10:54,
Reply)
I can't remember.If I went through my gazzes I could tell you and maybe I will tonight.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
Hi there*I can recommend Antoine Dufour as a steel-string player. There's one on youtube that's a must see - John Fahey, the piece is called 'Red Pony'. Not the most technical player but the sound he makes is just awesome!
*Every time I type that I hear the beginning of Peter Gabriel'sd 'Big Time' in my head
Ninjas edit for Mr grape juice - try Tommy Emmanuel, Andy McKee and Erik Mongrain.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)
No, thank fuck.I reckon I'd have to move if our house got broken into.
(, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »