Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I seem to have gAIDSWas just in Sainsbury's getting some ingredients for dinner tonight, and flowers as I plan to make the place look nice for when Ms Foxtrot gets home from teaching. The cashier spots the theme and enquires;
"Romantic evening planned?"
"Yes", I reply, "I'm going to a festival for three days so thought I'd cook the better half a romantic meal"
She smiles and says "Well, he's very lucky"
Fucks sakes.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:46, 16 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I can't tell you how much I enjoyed reading that.Are you looking particularly fabulous today?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:49,
Reply)
Dunno about thatWhite and purple striped YSL shirt. Matching piercings, obv. That might be what did it
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:50, Reply)
true actually.in London you'd pass for straight. I mean, fucksake Barry seems to get away with it.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
In Norwichanyone demonstrating any taste, class, elan, verve or style is labelled bent.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:55, Reply)
No-one thinks the missus is bentAnd before you say it, she does have class, elan, verve and style. If not taste.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:56, Reply)
yes, but she's a girl, it's allowed.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
She must stand out thoughbecause the rest of the birds your way look like bull dyke lesbians!
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:58, Reply)
There's a fair few hotties in NorwichShe does stand out, but I would say that, wouldn't I
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:02, Reply)
That you did, I was most surprised, good result for your boysNot that I care, seeing as how I'm not a Norwich fan
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:43, Reply)
yes.this is his problem. Move to London or Brighton and he'll be fine.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
are you kiddingyou'll look butch in Brighton.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:04,
Reply)
About three weeks after making friends I'll be worrying more about my appearance and on-trend fashion(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)
oh real life lol.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:50,
Reply)
If I'd known it'd be this well receivedI'd have saved it for a QOTW entry
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:51, Reply)
It's the first time I've ever shown a mate at work this place, she laughed too.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:53,
Reply)
Oh yeah', 'cus there is going to be a right awnser to that now I've showed the link and it's now blatent what user I am.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
HELLO GONZ'S FEMALE COLLEAGUE!!!!!!!!!he thinks you are well mingin', innit, but he'd still stick it up you, so let him so he can tell us all about it, it'll be fun.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
If you're reading this you should totally sign up and join in. we're really nice and stuff.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
I think you have to say Yes dude.or you'll never get to put your finger in her bot bot.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
The answer is always "yes"Unless she's well minging and you're worried she's desperate enough to take the "yes" as "omfg I love her despite her warts and tyres and weeping bed sores" in which case the answer's "no". If she's that bad her self-esteem will be wrecked anyway and you're statistically unlikely to be the one that finally drives her to suicide.
Hope this helps.
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Kroney, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
Did you read about the womanwho hung herself from a tree after her fiancee broke off the engagement? How bad does he feel?
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:01, Reply)
If her self-esteem was so completely dependent on him staying with herI imagine he feels the most relaxed he has in years
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:02, Reply)
Not bad I'd imaginefunerals are shorter than weddings
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:03,
Reply)
You are probably right. He was pictured in the paper with a new bird on the firm.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:05, Reply)
I heard he was well hung and she got jelous of that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
The correct answer is "she's in a different league to me"which sounds like a compliment but is non commital.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Everyone's in a different league to youNot better, not worse... just different
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)
Best thing I've read all day.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
I was about ready to leaveso I just smiled and fucked off. If we'd been halfway through the scanning process I'd have corrected her, but in my (considerable) experience this is a highly flustered, embarrassed experience
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:14, Reply)
I have to say mate that's pretty embarrassingShe now has you down as a raving woofter. You will be forever referred to in the staff locker room as 'that gay bloke with the funny ears'. Word will spread. Children will openly mock you in the street. The changing rooms at the swimming pool will empty as soon as you come in the door. You need to put this to bed now, but I fear that it might be too late.....
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:20, Reply)
You have to bone her.I appreciate that you're very happy with Ms Foxtrot, but you must chat the checkout girl up, ask her out, wine her, dine her, and then bang her in a way that only a completely straight man with no concerns over his sexuality can do.
Good luck. We're all counting on you.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)
You didn't see herI'd rather be thought of as gay. In fact, I'd rather bang the last woman of her age to accuse me of bumderism. She might be ginger but at least she's rich
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)
Hang right the fuck on.Are you implying you'd actually 'do' Anne Robinson? Because that's really just .... disturbing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:30,
Reply)
Gingers are grateful for whatever they can getRich + grateful = YACHT
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)
But - and I know I'm in no position to lecture - She's OLDHer face has been botoxed into submission, but I bet her fanny is wrinklier than your balls.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:34,
Reply)
I think what I originally said was that I'd rather shag her than the woman who accused me of being gay todayBut now that I'm thinking about it, I'm rather warming to the notion
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dies**comes back to life again*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
This response made me laugh almost as hard as mine did youAlmost.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)
I seriously doubt I've ever had so many responses to a postI knew there'd be an upside
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)
This could only have been better if she'd got out a bullhorn and given a full "Bumder Alert" to warn the whole of the supermarket that she thought you were a bummer.Thank you for making my afternoon.
(, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)
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