oh hey gais
well what is up?
not much?
that's cool, not much here either, I got a job but it's a part time position, and doesn't pay enough for me to work there unless I get promoted quickly.
You ought to know my dog farted and it is DE_sgus_TING.

oh boy, totally drunk here
lul u gais lol bbz
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 7:58, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

yeeeeah...
.... I'm kind of sure we did NOT need to know that. but thanks for sharing, K!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:06, Reply)

YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME, YOU MASSIVE FUCKING DOUCHER

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:26, Reply)

oh yeah i went there

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:28, Reply)

O HAI K DIZZLE

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:21, Reply)

HEEEEYYYYYYYYYY

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:27, Reply)

Skittles Crazy Cores rule.
I want pasta for breakfast.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:23, Reply)

I just had 4, I REPEAT 4 FUCKING DEVILLED EGGS

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:27, Reply)

What has the devil done to them?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:29, Reply)

made them fucking delicious
when I come to UK I will make them for you and Rosie and we will drunk from bottles and it will be fun
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:31, Reply)

That sounds perfect.
Me and Rosala pulled some pensioners in central London on Friday but then djtp turned up and ruined it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:33, Reply)

what a fucking shit cock
why would he even do that?
I'll be right back
i have to shower and wash my hair and shave my legs cause teh sex is going down tomorrow
lol brb
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:36, Reply)

They were called Jawj and Fiddy Pence.
Don't forget the fetlocks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:38, Reply)

fair enough but is fiddy pence as sexy as fiddy cents?
i highly fucking doubt it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

In his own quiet way...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

*looks around* i'll come back later.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:31, Reply)

am I not good enough for you?
fine
i see how it is
/sulks
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:32, Reply)

I cannot deal with this level of waki at 8am

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:40, Reply)

it ain't wakki bitch

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Hey Kristine did the hurricane blow you away, or did it just rattle your shutters?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:40, Reply)

She's gone for a shower, Bart

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Surely a dog's fart isn't that bad.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Our Tigger did a pathetic fart a couple of weeks ago.
It smelt like fresh fruit and angels.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Do you feed him tinned peaches?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Nope.
He never farts though. He doesn't like that kind of thing. Now I know why. He's rubbish at it. You could sell his farts as fresh air spray.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I think you should get this verified by a third party before you enter into production.
And maybe do some research before putting it on the market.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I'd call it 'Poof'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

It looks like Kristine is shaving a bear in the shower.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:59, Reply)

She's drowned.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

My dog has never farted I don't think.
People think she has though because I always blame her. However she sneezes all the time, and it never fails to make me giggle like a school girl.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

There was one of those dog in the University gardens the other day.
Gawjuss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

also
"your dog" did it. "your DOG"?

yeah yeah yeah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:53, Reply)

look, I farted in the shower and it was nast
i ain't gon lie
it was the devilled eggs
so yeah
it was totally satans fault
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Oh god, I was thinking I would have forgotten about moving to brighton today but now I remembered and now I'm excited again.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:55, Reply)

R U Gay?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Nah', you got it wrong, female gay clubs have a lot of bisexual girls, who are desperate for some cock in their foaming clunges, you hold your mate's hand as you walk through the door....
... and then you wash your hands when you get in and it's wall to wall fanny.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

You're moving to Brighton???
What about 'I love Farringdon'?
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:58, Reply)

No, it's 'I've just farted in Farringdon'.
He wants to move to Brighton to get away from the smell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Work in farringdon, live in brighton, 1:30 direct train from one to the other.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

It's Thameslink Gonz.
Worst railway in the country.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I don't mind, there are loads of trains that go from london to brighton and back.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Why's that then?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Unreliable
and it smells of vomit.

I was sick on it once.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Didn't some chap spend 6 months smearing shit over the carriages?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I'm sure they've cleaned it up since then, probably.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Wow that's some strong vomit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

It was formed when some dopey twit looked at a map and drew a line between Bedford and Brighton.
Then tried to use all the old and abandoned bits of existing railway through London.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

And they let him do it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Yup,
He must have been ethnic or gay. Equal opportunities and that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Maybe he had some community funding, yes.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

He'd tried really hard and used different coloured crayons
bless.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Good day.
I've just had an 11.5hr sleep.

And Lusty is back which is excellent.

In other news, Heathrow is a fucking dump. To think, next year thousands upon thousands of foreigners will see Heathrow, and then use our public transport, and then stay in Hackney to see a totally shit fuck-up Olympics. Go national pride.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 8:59, Reply)

To be fair, Mr Boyce...
...Heathrow is only a dump because it's owned by Ferrovial. A Spanish company who famously invested jack shit into Heathrow. Terminal 5 is lovely, but only because British Airways pumped the money in.
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

I bow to your superior airport finance knowledge.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:15, Reply)

They should pick it up and move it, and dump it on Kent somewhere

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:06, Reply)

It's all about Gatwick.
I think I've only flown out of Heathrow once. Gatwick's mega though. And by mega I mean not horrific for an airport.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

The best airport in the South is Bournemouth
Tiny, quiet, well appointed and quick to navigate.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

It was a collection of portcabins the last time I was there
I hope it's moved on since then.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Hey, Barry!
Did you sort out your trip to The Netherlands...?
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Is that a gay sex euphemism?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Nah, not sure I'm gonna bother.
Krakow in Poland looks good enough for me. Plus I've been reading a few articles on Wilsa Krakow fans and they're more than a bit nuts, so I probably won't make it back alive to go to Holland anyway.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Shame, man....
....but I've never been to Poland. I have heard their drinking exploits are legendary. And Polish Vodka is liver mangling...
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Fucking hell
Gatwick is an atrocious shitehole filled with retarded chavs heading to Malaga in the summer and cheap skiing in the winter. Christ knows how anybody can stand to be there for more than 5 minutes. Only Stansted is worse and it's a points decision.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)

You're wrong there actually
They have made some really significant improvements to Gatwick recently, it's streets ahead of Stanstead and Luton, and I much prefer it to Heathrow now. At Stanstead they are pretty much going out of their way to make any journey through their as unpleasant as possible.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Unless they've changed the fucking retarded gate layout at Gatwick
then no, I'm not. Plus, my problem with Gatwick is the people who use it not particularly the airport as it all contributes to the overall "ambience"

Admittedly I've not been though Gatwick for 6 months or so, so I guess at least the replacement terminal connecty monorail thing will be done now, but what else have they done?

Stansted is shite but you expect that from an airport that mostly flies budget and charter. Gatwick is just a massive disappointment.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:44, Reply)

That's the best summation...
...of Gatwick and Stansted I think I've ever read! Hopefully, Virgin Airways will make the investment into Gatwick and make it its hub (like British Airways did for Heathrow Terminal 5). Then, Maybe Gatwick will have a fighting chance. Stansted, on the other hand has Ryanair and EasyJet. Oh dear...
(Don Draper is, indeed, mad and a man., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Heathrow's problem is not terminals, it's lack of runways and other space
I mean, 1-3 aren't excatly salubrious, but these days I don't use it unless it's unavoidable simply becuase nothing except intercontinental is ever on time. Too many planes and not enough runways. All the Gordon Ramsay in the world in T5 doesn't change the fact that the thing I want most from a plane is to be on fucking time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I love this shithole of a country.
We're manky but we think we're ace.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

We are ace
*sings rule Bristania*
*goes down with ship*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Roota
I have a question for you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Go'ead

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Is Rosie cross with me?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

What?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

She used to talk to me
and the other day she didn't, and she unfriended me. So I thought she might be cross with me.

I'm very sensitive about how other people on the internet feel about me, so I thought I would ask.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

It's the internet, how do I know?
I am most disappointed if you do in fact turn out to be this sensitive.
I thought you were a narky old cunt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Since you met her
and you know me, I assumed the conversation would have turned to me at some point. Most conversations do in my experience.

Did you have a nice weekend with your man?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Sorry, we were too busy doing shots with pensioners.
Until HE turned up.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

He's such a fucking killjoy isn't he.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Yeah man.
And elder abuse is not cool either.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Has he been abusing you?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Yup.
It's because I'm from the '70s.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:33, Reply)

from the in my
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

fuck you all im going to bed

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Night

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Night K, sleep well.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

try not to choke on your own vomit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:19, Reply)

You haven't answered my question.
^^^^^^
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Morning benders
Night K

How are we all?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

All the better for a stealth lie-in
I was listening to the headlines on Radio 4 at 7am and suddenly they're talking about gyppoes building on greenbelt land and it's 7:45.

Guess I needed it. Never argue with your body, that's my motto.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

It did amuse me that the guy speaking in favour of the gypsys
refused to actually answer the questions put to him and instead talked about something totally different.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Was he a 'politician'?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)

No, I think he was a solicitor
He must have had the best tarmacced drive out of all his mates.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I noticed that
almost as if it's indefensible behaviour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I did something similar
I slept really badly last night, despite being in bed before 5am for the first time since Thursday night
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Morning Darth
I'm fookin shattered, but otherwise cheerful. Yourself?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Much the same mate
Am going to have to eat something sooner or later
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Morning all
I'm currently recovering from a mental weekend, how are we all?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I'm currently recovering from shuddering disbelief
that Barry thinks Gatwick is pleasant.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I've never had to suffer the place
Manchester isn't too bad, too many proles though. East Midlands is shit, and Schipol seemed like it was fucking massive.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I suppose if he's talking about design
then it has some positive points, but the vast hordes of sub-human trogs that use it ruin any aspect of positive nature. Plus, the gate layout is retarded.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Schipol is fucking massive
and it works splendidly
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I remember it being the first place I'd ever seen armed police.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)

they employ a lot of thalidomide victims around your way?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

East Midlands is two portakabins
and one is usually shut.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Good jobbing, there, Krizzle.
You need to fuck your dog's shit up proper.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I still haven't managed to come even close to sleeping through an entire night
feeling better, but am pretty much covered in scabs. Lovely.

On the plus side, I now weigh about 12 and a half stone
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Have you been picking? bad Vipros.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

not at all
I've been amazingly restrained. Just the natural progression of spots to crusty scabby bits.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

god I hated that bit.
It was agony. I scratched. I have a raised pink weal on one of my shoulders cos I scratched so much it scarred
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I've not scratched really at all
I do have some nasty looking scabs on my face though. Having looked on google, I've had more spots than almost any of the photos on there. No wonder I've been so fucking unwell.

I'm counting on the fact that I've never scarred from anything else that has ever happened to me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I mark easily I think.
I have a scar on my elbow from when I fell over about 10 years ago. Didn't need stitches or anything, just got a massive scar.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I kind of hope the big scabs drop off sooner rather than later
as I want my face to have as much time as possible to heal before the wedding.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Try picking them off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)

I can't wait to see the amount fo photoshopping that will be required on your wedding snaps.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

yeah, thanks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Anytime.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Some woman I friended on FB to play a FB game is breaking the rules
I don't show you any of my personal shit and you don't show me yours is the rule for that sort of friend.

But no, she's having some sort of multiple status meltdown about how her life is worthless and her child killed himself and her family hate her and the state has screwed her over. And she's up at 3am rearranging a meaningless digital world while her own is shit.

Awkward.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Seriz Bizness, online
I suggest you bombard her with cock gazzes. What can go wrong?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)

bumhole pics are the way
sounds like she's a prime candidate to pay his mortgage.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)

de-friend -> move on
done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GAME APE!
YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE GAME!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Have I just lost 'the game'?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I was pretending that bit wasn't in the OP
on the grounds that I didn't want to harsly judge TLiC who otherwise seems to be a fairly upstanding sort.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

It's awkward because I know nothing about this woman
and here she is pouring her heart out online at 4am. It's one of those "should I say something? Hugz4u xx? MTFU?" situations.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Copy what she's been saying here
so we can make an informed decision for you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)

That seems reasonable
[name] I hate my life. I get $674.00 a month (PSSSSSSST! That is Less than half of the LOWEST USA National poverty level) I pay $425.00 per month for 490 sq ft. of shabby, PLUS all utilities. I have always been too young, too old, too short, too tall, too skinn, too fat, too white, too dark, too stupid, too not so smart, I always fall through the cracks. I wanted to get a car, get a better place to live, to not be told how useless life.
20 minutes ago near [...] · Like · Comment

[name] That even now I could have been worth something more than this. I hate my life, so I tried to change it, How silly of me, I was born alienated in this family, this life, what purpose is it to spend a lifetime to prove you were never worth it from the start. I tried to bring my kids up to believe they were not useless, that they could do anything! I failed [boysname] killed himself.
26 minutes ago near [...] · Like · Comment

[name] I was a failure in life, I failed as wife, a mother, as a daughter, as a sister. What is emptiness, a void, a failed life. I was stupid enough to think that life could be changed, even after 60 years. I tried to convince myself and everyone else that my life was worth more
30 minutes ago near [...] · Like · Comment

WhoMadeYourPants ? Goooood MORNING people!How are you all today ? Did you enjoy your last bank holiday until Boxing Day ?
31 minutes ago · Like · Comment

[name] It is 3:23 am and I am up rearranging a mindless, make believe fantasy world, While mine crumbles! I have never had anything that I did not get onl my own, I have asked for help from my family 3 times in my life and each time, it did not happen. If I eve got anything I did it myself. I just can not do it anymore, So here it is and I will set here until no more.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I include the WhoMadeYourPants post
for the sheer incongruity.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)

O_O
She should probably kill herself, it's the only way
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

She's 60?
she seriously needs to man the fuck up then.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I know
I'm just hoping that when her actual friends wake up in a few hours she gets a bunch of "there, there"s. All I want is someone who'll click to help me build something or whatever.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Again, I'm going to pretend I didn't see the second sentence there
it's for your own good, chap.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I suspect it's not a real person but a con-artist.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Tell her to pack in the shameless beakering and MTFU

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Her profile picture is a pug in a sunflower costume
I should suggest Gonz as a friend.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Don't be online at 4am
simple.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

It's never a good idea

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Simple solution: stop using 'FB', it's for cunts anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

you say this a lot
and yet you aren't on it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

zing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

BOOM!
Score one to Vipros.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

That's very hurtful.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

the truth often is

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I imagine less so than having massive red welts on your face
which are immortalised at the occasion when you will have more photos taken of yourself than at pretty much any other time during your life.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:56, Reply)

still not going to be any worse than photos of your fat, shining balding head though, eh?
edit: is this a new form of edgy humour or are you genuinely becoming an actual arsehole?

I don't just mean what you said here, because it doesn't bother me, what happens happens, but you have been getting more and more personal with things with a lot of people.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 9:57, Reply)

That's because Al is on a diet and he gets mean if he can't have his 15 breakfast donuts

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

that might explain it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

And he's getting defriended left, right and centre.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

indeed

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

cause and effect, or effect and cause though?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

It's an ever-decreasing spiral of despair from which there is no escape.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

i enjoyed your description of the boat rave
it was alarmingly close to my own views on it. and you KNOW i'm going to repeat it the next time i'm at his and he is playing with his decks. THEN i will blame you for the inevitable argument. blame you HARD.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I can live with that.
Especially if it takes another "DeeJay" out of commission.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)

it makes me feel really old to think THIS IS NOT MUSIC, THIS IS JUST BANGING NOISE
but then i remember i would have thought that at 13 and 23 as well as 33, and that i'll certainly think it at 43 and 53, so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

roooooota, so what do your spidey senses tell you about don draper?
i think he has a faint whiff of the opera about him, myself...??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Yeah I agree,
I was thinking it the other night, and thinking it best not to bother people with it, seeing as he is everywhere and has about four usernames already.
Then CHCB aired the same suspicion and her mama din't raise no fool.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I'd not seen him around
and assumed it was NakedApe because it has ape in it....

what's the dealio?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Word is he is not the man to go to if you have injured your hand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

if it writes like an edmund
and sounds like an edmund
and reads like an edmund
and types like an edmund
and postulates like an edmund
and relates stories like an edmund
and gives advice on things like mortgages like an edmund....

it most likely IS an edmund...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:22, Reply)

what the fuck's an Edmund?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/performance/post1326583
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)

This, I fear, leaves me none the wiser.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

oh come ON, you know who edmund is!!!
the mentalist who keeps coming back, dispensing medical advice despite not being a doctor, asking all the girls out, wanting to take roota to the opera and to fly me to hong kong (and i thought i was so special, little did i know i was one of 200) despite never having met any of us... then it got all over the papers that he was a real life bigamist who went to prison after pretending to be a doctor and somehow getting a stint as an army doctor and operating on some poor sod's hand despite NOT BEING A DOCTOR and fucking it up.... dude! where have you been?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:31, Reply)

It would appear
I've been elsewhere. How interesting. Sorry, I meant, "how mental"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

It's like a Humphrey but more bigamisty and cock-gazzy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)

things like the post above
and the mortgage "advice" swung it for me. opera tickets and cock-gazzes for 137 coming right up...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

it certainly looks like his writing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Ah, a cockgazzer.
Best of all the creepy shut-ins.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

A full-on IRL fantasist
who actually did time for impersonating a doctor.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)

It's what happens when a short, tubby man loses his hair.
He becomes desperate and increasingly embittered with each depressing morning: seeing more head hair than stubble in the sink after his morning shave.

Weeping with frustration, his only fleeting pleasure is to point his stubby finger at the misfortune of others, gaining a respite from self-loathing that lasts merely moments, before crashing back to shiny-pated earth with a disheartening bump.

It's quite funny, really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

he's just using us all to escape the tediousness of his humdrum existence
this morning it was your turn, that's all.

you'll be fine for the wedding. if all else fails, dig out those make-up tips i emailed you for presents to buy for mrs v...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I'm not concerned about the wedding
if I look blotchy or whatever then so be it.

I've still got a glorious head of hair and a magnificent beard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

you've certainly frightened al away anyway
he has gone off to lick his wounds your spots
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

He's going to have to take a long hard look at himself in the mirror
well, two mirrors.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

a concave mirror

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Darth has a magnificent beard
she's very convincing, I'm told.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Very good

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 30 Aug 2011, 10:32, Reply)