Big thread is big
Here's something: www.avitable.com/2011/09/05/wheres-my-reply-okcupid-prelude-to-a-lawsuit/ - someone set up an OKCupid account for this guy touting for gay sex, and ended with a rape fantasy including the guys real home address.

What's the nastiest thing you've done to someone?

ALT: What's the nastiest thing you've had done to you?

Alt alt: What nasty thing do you have for lunch?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 13:54, 140 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: I'm thinking 'not letting me visit my daughter in Intensive Care and not letting me see her until I got a very expensive court order' ranks pretty high.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Blimey - the interns were looking after her too?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I have literally no idea WHAT you are on about.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

ninja

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

People are cunts

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Depeche Mode's etc

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

*enjoys silence*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Atilla The Stockbroker had the right idea about them.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

He is a serious contender for ‘least funny person ever’

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I think I saw about 5 mins of him at Glastonbury years ago
I was not amused
/victoria
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

He's had his moments.
Few, but he's had some.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

That's when I saw him.
Some time in the '80s.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Best one being
"and that's all from me tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Why the hell would you want to go there anyway? The pedo CD cabinate is shit, at most you'd get is some codine.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Pedo CDs?
What, like Jonathan King and The 'Oo?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Who's that?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Correct. The Who.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Oh, I think I remember them, that failed band that got lucky by making the sound track to CSI.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I did some pretty 'nasty' stuff with your mum last night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

For an old girl she sure loves eating poo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

She doesn't need her teeth in

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Next time I think I won't have a Tayyabs before I go round.
That was a bit mean even for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Spicy scat FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I can't think of anything truly nasty I've done
Alt:
Getting jumped wasn't overly pleasant

Alt Alt:
Tuna "crunch" sandwich - meh in a bun
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Alt: was this in the showers when you were in prison?
Because if so, I have it on good authority that you 'fucking loved it'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

No, that was the other time
I was only trying to pass you the soap as you well know
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Bending for your daily Mars Bar.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

*parp*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Alt: Someone threadstomped me once.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

The utter bastard
I'm sure they'll give some guff about yours not being there when they started typing, but in reality I bet they saw it and just didn't care.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

FYI I haven't seen 'Ant and Dec's new show', no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

If indeed you ever had a thread.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I deleted it in a fit of pique

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I bet your fits of pique are hot.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Al is so fat
He has pits of eek
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I can't think of anything on either count.
And I always have a tasty lunch. Someone bought me a McDonald's once though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Cool story bro.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Needs MOAR McChicken

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Guess I'm lucky not to know a complete set of cunts.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

+on the internet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

In real life.
Although I just remembered something. I was dealing with an annoying work colleague a while back, so put his number on Gumtree advertising a signed Justin Bieber autobiography for sale.

Sorry, that's all I have.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

One of my mates had his home number put on a load of bus shelters as selling his Sunderland season ticket for £10
The culprit was a Newcastle fan. He waited until the lad went on holiday, nicked his bin and sprayed it in red and white stripes and put a SAFC badge on it, then took it to Sunderland's stadium and took photos with the bin. Then they printed one out, framed it and swapped his wedding photo with it in the guy's house.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

And people say football fans are mentally subnormal.
Clearly not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

(!)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I thought it was a spiffing prank

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)

^ football fan

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I actually thought changing the guy's wedding photo was nothing short of genius

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

^ football fan

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Haha, nice!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Alt: Minestrone cup-of-soup
That's a pretty nasty story, but I'm not sure what he expects from a free site in terms of profile review though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

surely alt alt: Minestrone.
Unless that's the nastiest thing anyone has ever done to you? I mean, sure, some minestrone is shite but I'm pretty sure you must have had worse things happen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I love your refusal to use the horrendous term 'Cuppa-soup'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I have just endured a mushroom one
*shudders*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

You prefer them uncut, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

As nature intended

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

wolfbagging
to all three questions.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I dont know what this is but it sounds funny

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Ask your boss what it is at the top of your voice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I'll have to - he is in Greece

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

He's probably up to his nuts in the arse of an oily waiter,
wolfbagging like there's no tomorrow, as we speak.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Hah!
They always have shit bacon over there.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I'm unsure as to whether the quality of the bacon would be the wolfbaggee's primary concern.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Small victories

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

to have sexual intercourse with a wolf inside a bag.
Obviously.

or not.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

What an extraordinary activity.
Peoples' ingenuity never ceases to impress me.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

THIS^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

pssst.
I don't actually think anybody does that, really. However wolfbagging on horseback - that's the way to bag a classy lady.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Where the fuck do people think these thing up?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

And why bacon?

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

raw bacon at that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

It's very hard to digest raw bacon
this is probably a consideration.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

The bum doesn't contract when vomiting though, if anything, the body's natural 'expel everything inside me' would create the opersite effect.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

IT'S NOT REAL.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

^ expert

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I used to vomit daily for years, it got the point where all my friends and family expected it from me whenever I ate a meal.
HOW THE HELL AM I STILL A CHUBBY FUCKER?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

bulemia doesn't work
ask John Prescott
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Alt: Someone fired me once. That was pretty crap.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

from a cannon

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

No, from a job.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

WITH A KNIFE /ac

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Some bloke mocked me ON THE INTERNET
I found out that his password was his username and logged in to his picture hosting and DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING.

It was mean but I feel no guilt.

Oh I also did some amazing super smart difficult hacking on to someones b3tards account and changed one of their pictures to a GIANT FUCKING CROISSANT! I never confessed it was me until now and I hope he forgives me because I like him.

The nastiest thing anyone's done to me? Well my dad beat the shit out of me daily as a child, that was pretty mean. Oh and those kids at school when they saw I had lots of spots came up with a highly clever, hilarious nickname for me. Spotty Phil. I hear they had 4 council of the bullies meetings to come up with it.
( Peej, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

You haz evil computer skillz.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

hahaha
you were one of the suspects I must admit. I really didn't care though because it amused the hell out of me.

you should make it up to me by sending me windows 7 though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I'm glad I am not beyond suspicion
It started of as curiosity as to whose I could get in to and you popped in to my head, I promise there was no malicious intent and I have never been back in since.
( Peej, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

it's not like there is anything important in there
and it really did amuse me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I'm really pissed off on behalf of my dear pal 'Lepros'
and demand that you also send me Windows 7.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Lepros is good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I am rather pleased with it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Oh fuck! I totally forgot I was supposed to do that!
Right, I shall get that sorted asap
( Peej, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

no worries
I only mention it because my computer went tits up the other day, big style, worse than BSOD, and I only just managed to sort it and get all my shit back
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I hid my zelda game-and-watch in Michael Smith's draw in primary school and I claimed he stole it and he got detention for a week.
Someone tried to get into my Dad's safe in cyprus when he died, that was their first thought, they heard the news and rushed over to get into the safe. The body was still there.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Why was his body in the safe?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

they'll nick anything in Cyprus.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Hahaha!
ouch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

It was well safe blud

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Fallout: New Vegas' character creation system is accurate enough that you can create faces that look like people you know.
After an argument, I spent several hours creating a perfect facsimile of a friend in order to run them across a minefield, get them shot by gangsters and, in one notable trip, killed by a radscorpion. I then emailed them pictures of their own dismembered corpse.

I have absolutely no psychopathic tendencies.
( Kroney, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

psychopathic tendencies thing of interest to say, ever. Sorry everyone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

massive sadface here.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I'm sorry to hear that you have a 'massive sad face', as well as being terminally dull.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Totally flouncing.

( Kroney, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Mind you don't get your MASSIVE FACE stuck in the door on your way out.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I've had a drunken prank get out of hand, very quickly.
I know my friend's phone number off by heart, and when someone needed to contact him, I passed it on. However, the person I gave it to was messing round, pretending to flirt with him, but being absolutely ridiculous about it. The final text before the big reveal of who it was texting him read 'I'm going to shit on your tits'.

As we were pretty hammered at this point, this was hilarious. The group had expanded from there being 3 of us to there being about 20 at this point, and I encouraged everyone else to send him the same message. This is the part where it got out of hand, because I thought it'd be HILARIOUS to then get everyone who was with us to text their friend, instructing them to do the same, and text 'I'm going to shit on your tits' to this one lad.

He phoned me a little while later, quite distressed. Turns out quite a few of the people had decided to send slightly more agressive texts, so as a result he'd received around 90 messages off numbers he didn't know, getting nastier and nastier as it went on. As I was drunk, and feeling a bit bad, I denied having anything to do with it.

Nearly got away with it too, before accidentally admitting I'd started it whilst his brother was in earshot. I still feel quite bad about that.

Alt: I was jumped when I was 15. I don't think anything has affected me quite as badly since, I became afraid of going out, people talking to me when I wasn't expecting it would make me jump a mile, etc.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Well if you will insist on wearing those knobbish comedy t-shirts....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

This was in the days before them.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

^ sucker for punishment

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

This is both funny
and yet unsurprising from a man who once gave a stranger his PIN.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

PIN anal virginity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

A stranger is just a friend you haven't bummed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

He wasn't a stranger, he was (at the time) one of my best mates.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

his PIN bottom-AIDS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I gave a taxi driver my pin number once.
He took £200 and then dropped me off at Manchester airport, about 30 miles away from where I asked to go. Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

what?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

It's the most fucked I've ever been.
We bought a shit load of pills earlier in the night, they were ones we thought were shit so we necked all of them at once. Turns out they were actually very good. Was staying at a mate's we knew up there, and I ended up on my own and got in a taxi to his.Driver said I needed money for the taxi so I gave him my card and told him to go and get it, he seemed like a nice guy. Then he dropped me off at the airport and I tried getting a flight home. Turns out flights from Manchester to Blackheath don't exist so I got another cab back to the lad's house which cost another thirty odd quid. Like I said; great days!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Did you throw a shoe in the sea?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I do not understand this reference.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Joey Deacon had a spaz-attack
when Blue Peter took him to the seaside - his shoe went in the sea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:52, Reply)

You've just set off a memory now... you git.
I was shot at when I was about fifteen.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

what, and it had completely slipped your mind?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Never mind, it's only a headwound

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I only grazed him.
'High powered sniper rifle' my arse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:35, Reply)

The list is endless.
Me and my mates were arseholes as kids.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

were are
as kids
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Perhaps.
We are certainly arseholes to a lesser extent, however.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Married them.
Alt: Married me.
It's a fine institution alright.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Why do so many people marry people who they hate?
I reckon if I was going to marry someone, I'd love them, not hate them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I've never hated anyone enough to marry them.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:49, Reply)

If I weren't already attached to a ball and chain
I'd hate you enough to put a ring on it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:51, Reply)

You realise that it's only your little remarks like this that keep me going.

( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:52, Reply)

remarks like this penis, like a new-born mouse in a hairy nest
keeps gets
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Just when you thought the strikethrough was dead...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:56, Reply)

IT'S BACK!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

What I like about it is the way it fits the flow of the sentence so naturally
and didn't need to be shoe-horned in.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

That's it, you bastard.
Spoil the sentiment.
( girlinthehole, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Some kid at school was locked in a trunk and thrown down the stairs
he came out at the bottom grinning, so they zipped him into a soft suitcase and threw him down again...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Alt: people have mistaken my kindness for weakness.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Being smart can bring you respect and revernance, but the rewards of being pleasent are far more candecent.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I don't quite know what that means but it sounds good.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I never made that mistake
but your man did. Now he's having to move all the way to Scotland and he won't ever get to be with me the way he wanted.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Checkmate!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 15:12, Reply)