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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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One word for this man . . .
www.news.com.au/national/older-mums-are-selfish-and-self-centred/story-e6frfkvr-1226157800677


utter, utter prick.

Well Barry, thank you for tirade against the older (potential) Mum.
I'll bet you anything you like this asswipe has a lovely trophy wife at home, who could pop out babies for him while he worked his way up (down?) to obstetrics. Someone who makes sure his din-dins are on the table and irons his shirts for the next day, while he dispenses his own special brand of wisdom to the masses.

Life doesn't work that way for some of us . . . especially when we "are" the wife.
Strong words from a specialty that only knows how to perform two operations and has the medical nous of a chocolate biscuit.

He'd better not break anything while I'm on-call . . .


Thoughts?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:45, 253 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
He sounds a fucking idiot
My parents were 37 & 38 when I was born, and my Dad is in better health than I am currently. Obviously my Mum isn't, but maybe if I'd loved her more, and not listened to as much Green Day, she'd still be here?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)
I love how you've come to accept this view as the truth.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)
I don't know, he has a point
It's not really fair to expect a twenty year old to deal with care homes and dementia just because someone wanted to "live their life" before "settling down".
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)
I think his age 'limits' are slightly off
but I can't say I disagree completely. Whenever some ancient man like David Jason, Des O'Connor or Rod Stewart become a father again at the age they are I just think 'selfish cunt'
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:57, Reply)
I think they are less selfish, since they can happily afford to support themselves
and dozens of other people should they choose to.

Actually I quite like Rod Stewert's attitude to his kids which has always been "they need to make their own money, why should they rely on me?".

I'm sure he'll see them right once he's carked it, but he wants them to stand on their own feet while he's around.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)
I meant more in a
'those poor kids are going to lose their Dads before they turn 13' kind of way.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Fair point.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I'd disagree. Exactly what age do you think dementia hits?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
60.
I have proof of this too. My dad went to open a tin of cat food, but my mum had left a tin of tomatoes on top of the pile of cat food tins.

So my dad opened the tomatoes and then got very grumpy because he had an open tin of tomatoes that he didn't need.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Unless this ends with him throwing the tomatos at a neighbour
then I don't want to know.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Sorry, but this has just absolutely cracked me up, because I can just imagine my Dad doing the same.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)
My mum has started leaving tins of tomatoes on top of things he might need
to see if he'll do it again.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
Hahahaha

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)
I think having a baby past 40 is pushing it.
But then I've never wanted kids.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

kids a dozen men to fire their hot spunk all over my face and tits.

never
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)
What made her change her mind?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)
I think she's always wanted that to happen.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Well, according to you
"But then I've wanted a dozen men to fire their hot spunk all over my face and tits."

To me, this reads as either you're missing the world 'always', or she's changed her mind.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Good point.
I should have ended my original edit with "since I can remember"
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
Pfft!

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:15, Reply)
seems sensible to me
he may not have put it across very well, but basically he's saying older mums are more prone to health problems
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I'm sorry Mrs Legless, I hope you don't mind, but I'm not really interested. I did read the first paragraph and tried to read yours too, but it wasn't my cup of tea.
Are you Australian Mrs Legless? I like australian women, did you know that Poppet is australian? Maybe you know her? Do you like to do the TimTamSlam ? I like it when australians slap shrimp on the ol' barby.

You know this Amanda Knox person? Does she get any compensation for being in prison for 4 years without doing anything bad?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)
she was still convicted of slander for accusing someone else of the murder
and given 3 years, so I expect the Italian authorities will just tell her to sod off
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Is slander still slander if you belive it at the time?
Now we know that Amanda didn't do the murder, maybe the person who she said did the murder, did the murder?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Woah, woah, woah
We don't know anything of the sort, we know her conviction for the murder has been quashed due to unreliable evidence, but we don't know whether she actually was involved.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I think it's unlikely that she or her boyfriend were involved

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I think it's unlikely that you haven't fucked your sister.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)
I think it's unlikely that you will ever stop repeating the same joke

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)
I like to think she didn't do the murder on account of her aquittal.
Thing is, I know the whole "No smoke without fire" thing, but without that, it means that whoever is up on court for anything will always possibly be guilty even if they are told they're not involved by the courts.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)
I'm not implying that she did it
I'm just saying that a bold statement of "Now we know that Amanda didn't do the murder" is incorrect.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
take a look at the evidence
obviously we'll never know the whole story, but I don't think there was anything that said she was at the crime scene, that she had killed her friend or had any reason to.

She was stupid enough to lie at her first police interview, which looks bad, and she behaved oddly after the police turned up but that doesn't prove anything
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I think someone else had already been convicted of the murder
Knox and her boyfriend were imprisoned because the police believed they were somehow involved.

Good question about the slander thing though, rightfully she should be let off that unless she knew he wasn't involved and deliberately set out to ruin him
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)
The appeal covered that too
and the court held that she was still guilty.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)
fair enough then, don't know much about that case

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)
I think she was sentenced to 3 years for the slander, but as she's already served 4, they've let her off

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
I'm looking forward to slapping a lot of shrimps on the barbie
when I'm out there next year. Only they don't call them shrimp, they call them prawns.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
In maylasia, which is really near, so might be the same in australia, they have prawns that are the size of lobsters, like, really really big, 5-mouthfullers really.
I dream of a day where I can have a prawn that takes me 5 mouth fulls to eat.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)
It's funny you should say that Gonz
but I think Mrs Legless has, in fact, met Poppet.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
Wow, small world.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Thoughts? Cheers
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Why is she not replying to anyone AA? Why doesn't she want to get involved in a conversation that she started?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
I don't know Gonz.
I just don't know.

*shakes head sadly*
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I don't understand it, personally, she's been here long enough to know the ettiquates.
It's like someone walking into a pub, anouncing their views on a subject at the top of their voice, asking everyone else what they think, and then walking out without a reply.

Do you know if Mrs Legless is fit?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I have no idea
I know Legless moved to the other side of the world to be with her, but since he's no looker himself that doesn't really mean anything. He could just be grateful for anything he could get.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I once went to Aberdeen to get my leg over, but australlia is really really far, you can't get anywhere further than that really.
I can't imagine anyone I would travel that far to get my leg over...... OHHHH, OH, is that why they're called 'legless', because something to do with getting your leg over?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Furthest I've been was France.
I should have drawn the line like you Gonz.

Cheers,
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:17, Reply)
Aberdeen is closer than, say, newcastle.
Because distance is only relivent in this case because it estimates how long it takes you to get there, and to get to aberdeen I got the train down to Heathrow and then a plane to aberdeen. I think it was like 3 hours door-to-door.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)
Your door-to-door time beat mine
Course, I'm still enduring a 3-5 hour trip depending on traffic. Last week it was 8 hours because of the motherfucking A14.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
I would be symapthetic, but it's all your own fault
and you're leaving me, so I don't care anymore

*wipes away tear*
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)
Maybe if you, you know, did that think *wink*
I wouldn't have to leave the country.

Cheers,
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXTNhlmcRG0
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)
You don't live together and you're getting hitched?
Don't you think that's a silly idea? She might be hell to live with.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Perhaps
But she's mostly awesome ;)
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)
GAylord

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
She's Greek. All the Greek women I've ever met have
been very nice. They (Greeks) are mad Puressence fans for some reason too.

Cheers,
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Maybe she's apeloverage in disguise?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I got a copy of his book, he emailed it to me to review on coll3ctive.
I'm looking forward to this.

I 100% honestly, on all I hold dear, thought Apeloverage was a 15-18 year old school girl.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)
Before or after you read the book?
Seriously, is the book much cop?

Cheers,
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I remember back when most people assumed Chompy was a girl
That was quite entertaining, actually...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I'm not on OT very regularly these days
Has the sex offender meme died as well?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
It's brought up from time to time, but not as often

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
To be fair
I thought it was funny that Chompy was the only person who, quite rightly in my opinion, thought there was anything creepy in Gonz going back to Waitrose to speak to that girl.

Nothing again Gonz, just I remember working in a supermarket and the girls hated being hit on when they were being friendly / just doing their job.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)
I saw that, but chose not to get involved
I did once chat up a girl at Tesco, we're now very good friends, so that was sort of a Win.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
She's just in fear of you and doing it out of politeness

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)
I did think this was the case for quite a while
Until I realised she's not even mildly polite, and I'm not even slightly worth fearing.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Maybe we should all gaz her our responses, in case she's somehow missed them?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:17, Reply)
o_0

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
There is a fair point in all that.
I can't help thinking about that daft bint that had IVF in her sixties because she'd chosen a career over motherhood, then gave birth to twins and popped her clogs 18 months later leaving her poor sprogs orphans. OK, she lied about her age and said she was in her fifties, but still... fifties, ffs?

Discounting the whole "it's not fair on the kids who'll have to deal with having older parents shitting themselves and dribbling on a daily basis" argument, it is a truth that there are greater risks involved for women who have kids later in life - I mean, look at what a flid AA is for starters.

That said, I had a colleague who had a daughter about three years ago. Both parents were in their 20's, but the kid had Downs. My aunt, on the other hand, had her third kid at 42, and she's perfectly normal, apart from being a Jesus freak.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)
I'd rather have a Downy than a Christian
At least they're always smiling.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)
And you can teach them to do tricks

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)
First one to clap their hands gets an ice cream...

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)
There is an entertaining picture of my brothers, sisters and I as children
I'm a fat little baby, but my brother looks like he's got Downs, it's fantastic.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Haha.
I was about to say similar.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Thoughts? Cheers
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1354255#post1354264
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)
:'(

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I don't think there is anything wrong with older mums
it also annoys me when men make sweeping statements over what women should and shouldn't be allowed to do. I notice no mention is made of elderly fathers, but presumably no-one minds caring for an old man, as much as they do for an old woman who gave birth to them.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I think older fathers are fucking selfish bastards, to be honest.
"Ooh, look, he's in his 80's and can still get it up, isn't that amazing?" Er, no, it isn't. Well done, you've just fathered another child. And you're probably about to die. Nice going, fucktard.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)
I completely agree
With the minor proviso that all women should be forcibly sterilised at 30. And all men who father a child and don't have at least a five figure sum in the bank should have one testicle forcibly removed (assless mistake you don't make twice).

I think we can all agree what a better society it would be if that were the case. Vote Tory.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
I agree with the helmet that wrote the article.
I wouldn't have wanted a 60 year old Mum when I was 18.

I want a sexy 40 year old.

NO OLD BADGERS. THANKS.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Here you go
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:17, Reply)
I love you AA.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
:D

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
That's the stuff.
Not some doddery old lavender sniffer.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
What are you doing getting all worked up?
He's writing about women, not to them. Honestly, who'd write about something like this to a woman. You girls just aren't set up for comprehending stuff like this.

Now, stop worrying about what men talk about, dear, surely you have some ironing to do?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)
*pats little lady on head*
Toddle off now.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:14, Reply)
I *think* Kroney is a man

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)
Holy shit . . .
I start typing a letter and all hell breaks loose.

OK, in brief:

1. I have met Poppet - lovely lady
2. Dunno about the Knox case - lots of dodgy evidence was aired earlier in the piece and I'm not entirely sure who's guilty
3. I am quite well - just got distracted writing to someone.

Anything else I missed?

Edit: Tim Tam slams are wonderful . . . you should try one :)
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
How is Legless?
Still wearing the knotted hankies?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I got in the post today two letters and photos from the two guide dogs I sponsor.
One is a golden retriever cross labrador called Cracker, and the other is a lbarador called Rudolph.

They look so happy in the photos, which makes me happy. I wish I had a dog of my own. Do you have any dogs Mrs Legless?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)
She had a cat but it got run over :(

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)
No, that's Workboresbatshitmentalsomething, and it didn't get run over, she smashed it up against a pain of glass repeatably until the glass smashed and then shoved pennies down it's throat.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Then she got upset when her workmates complained about her violent behavior.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Didn't she beat up a load of school kids for doing the hiddious crime of not supporting The Cougers ?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)
I agree with him saying before trying to get pregnant you should be healthy and a good weight.
Same with stopping smoking and drinking in my opinion.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)
I honestly do not understand how any women can smoke or drink during pregnancy
The amount of health issues linked to doing either, even in small amounts when pregnant are staggering.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)
I saw a beautiful sight the other day
a woman who must have been 10 months pregnant, wearing a mini dress and smoking outside a bookies. Pure class
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)
*facepalm*

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
Mirrored windows at the bookies?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
you frigger

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Didn't touch her!

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Haha

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Was she turning tricks so she could get the baby something nice?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
if it hadn't been for the enormous gut, fag and bookies
she would have looked really pretty, so I'll go with 'no'
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
You came to Basildon and didn't say hello?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
In small amounts there is an arguable benefit to drinking.
Something like 3 small glasses of red wine a week.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Well that's not worth getting pregnant for.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
In 6th form, I did a fair amount of research into Foetal Alcohol Syndrome
Granted, it was 5 years ago, so things may have changed since, but at the time, according to what I read, there was no clear indicator how much was too much, so the only way to stay safe was to avoid it completely.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
It's the benifit of decreased blood pressure vs the risk of FAS,
around about those levels, the benifit outweigh the risks.
Edit: according to some studies, it's hard to get much in the way of facts since the PC brigade stopped doctors testing on babies.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)
Ahh, fair enough

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
My parents smoking didn't stunt my growth.
But their drinking definitely inspired me.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)
This.
Those of us who got conceived before the advent of all these namby-pamby nanny-state health-and-safety-gone-maaaad Guardian-reading hippie natural-birth earth mothers, who's mums smoked and drank, grew up to be double-hard bastards. Fact.

Kids these days are all nonces and it's because they didn't have to learn to survive in a hostile womb.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Yeah.
No natural defences because they didn't have to be a Womb Warrior like wot we did.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:27, Reply)
And not being ugly
Nobody wants ugly children.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Healthy - tick
Good weight - tick

Giving an absolute age after which he categorically gives his opinion that pregnancy is off-limits - no tick.
Calling someone 37 or over "selfish" - kind of impolite, especially since a 37 year old is not necessarily "old" - some can be so, physiologically speaking.
Giving this rather controversial opinion from his comfy home base where he will never have to worry about it - a little hypocritical, no?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
It would only be hypocritical if outside of writing articles
he was actively knobbing 40 year old women and getting them up the duff deliberately.

As it is, his opinion may be distasteful to you, but it's not hypocritical.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Distasteful yes, but also
a little/lot annoying to be stating publicly his opinion on older pregnancy - not fact, no stats, just a throwaway line about being "selfish."

Let me see if I can give a comparative statement. Smokers heal much slower cf non-smokers. So a broken bone in one takes more time and resources to deal with. Smoking also happens to be an individual choice that I don't agree with. I haven't seen anyone call smokers "selfish" for not quitting when they break bones and thus saving hospitals money.

And his opinion is his own - fair call to him. But to use his title as ammo, that's wrong . . .
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)
I take it Mr Legless hasn't been doing his conjugal duty recently?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Heh heh
We don't have children yet.
I'm not Barry's "magical 37" yet but I am one of those who didn't choose to be older than 30 and without children. I didn't meet Legless until I was 30.
My job has taken most of my time for a while, and only recently can I feel human again.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)
I didn't ask

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
Breaking a bone isn't a choice though is it?
In your comparison smoking is to age what bones are to pregnancy.

I think it's perfectly valid to think that older Mum's are selfish. The same applies to older fathers too, as I said earlier. (edit: Although I should reiterate again that it feels to me that he has his ages all wrong here, 37 seems young)

I think the 'looking after older parents' is an odd thing to focus on, but the health risks are proven and the bigger concern I have is that the older the parent, the more likely they are to die and leave young children who didn't get the benefit of knowing them for as long as they should.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Then let's change the example . . .
joint replacement and smoking. Both choices, just like age and pregnancy.

A joint replacement with a risk of infection and loosening in a smoker is bad (bad, bad, bad) but aside from outlining the risks I don't preach to a patient.

I'm betting the next argument will be that a smoker doesn't damage anyome else, a pregnant lady with comorbidities does . . . :)
3....2....1....
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Pregnant ladies do tend to have MASSIVE comorbidities, though.
They can take your eye out. I read it in a book.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Phwoooar!

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)
I'd have to look up 'comorbidities' before I could make that argument.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:44, Reply)
OK, I looked it up.
But now I don't understand the point you were trying to make.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Sorry - I'm getting pedantic . . .
My original point was I felt he was using the MBBS FRACOG (obstetrician) title to push his social comments. And I feel it's wrong - it gives the non-medical reader a skewed view.

If you convert the issue into another type of health problem, it sounds less like advice and more like "listen here, I know what's best for you ladies . . ."

I'll stop ranting now . . .
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
So a man with a lot of experience in women having babies
has stated that he thinks women having babies older is more risky, a fact that is backed up by the evidence, and yet he shouldn't be using his title, that of "women having babies doctor", despite this making him better placed than most to form such an opinion?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)
I think it's more the smugness
of someone who is never going to have that particular issue, and who hasn't taken into account that plenty of older women are absolutely fine, and that everything in life bears certain risks. Would he rather a forty year old women who wants a child and is prepared for it, has it, or a sixteen year old who might be better physically, but in nearly every other respect is a poorer choice?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)
I imagine he almost certainly does take into account the women who are okay
but what he's said is that of older women that come in having babies, more of them have problems than the younger women, again this is actually born out by evidence. So his opinion, based on this evidence, is that waiting to have kids and putting both you and your baby at risk, is selfish.

And to suggest that only someone who is a woman who is in that situation is allowed to have the opinion that it is either good or bad and that anyone else venturing such an opinion is "smug" is a bit ridiculous.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)
I don't want children at any age
so I'm not affected by it, but I find his judgement offensive, especially the selfish comment. As I said there are risks to everything, and people are entitled to take those risks.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)
They are indeed entitled to take risks should they choose to, but in taking those risks they can still be selfish.
Or do you think that everyone should be able to do anything they want to, without any concern for how their actions may affect someone else?

Oh, hang on, you're a tory, you do think that.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:15, Reply)
Yes . . . and no . . .
He can give whatever opinion he likes.
He also needs to remember what his job entails, and that there is a degree of social responsibility with giving advice about his field.

The "selfish" part of the interview gave me the shits, not his opinion on when to have babies. The judgement passed on an older mother is the wrong part, not the facts he opines...

It would be like me saying "all smokers who don't quit before their surgery are idiots." The science backs up smoking as a risky behaviour, but my judgement of stupidness for smokers is wrong.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:58, Reply)
It's not wrong at all
Say someone has a family that relies on them, but they are diabetic. They are told that smoking and drinking are worse for them than average people because of their condition, but they continue to do it anyway. That person is being selfish, they are putting themselves before other people who rely on them.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Yes . . . this is true
but do you think antagonising them and insulting them will lead to a change in behaviour? Nup.
All you'll get is "F*%$ off" - as seems to be the theme of the comments following the original article from a lot of people.


And to be fair, I have referred to someone as an "idiot" for certain lifestyle choices that didn't help his surgery. It was confrontational and probably didn't work for him anyway.
One of the first things medical students are taught (well, way back when I started . . .) is that judgements of patients are off-limits. What I think of someone is irrelevent because my job is to lok after them, even if I don't/agree with them.

Being judgemental of a person clouds clinical judgement . . . you tend to bugger things up when you're not thinking objectively.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)
So at no point should you ever venture an opinion about public health when asked during an interview?
He's not gone to an individual patient "You're a selfish cunt you are". And I suspect, that as a Doctor he probably wouldn't, for the same reasons you wouldn't, that said I have no evidence that this is true, but you have none the other way either.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:19, Reply)
No - because it isn't my/his job to do that . . .
It's not where his training lies, and I'm certainly not involved in public health, so I'm not going to give social commentary even in a subject I know a lot about.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)
Is he involved in public health?
I don't know, but given you based your comments on an article about an article, I can't imagine you know either.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)
No he's not . . .
And as stated before, I received the digest of the article as an email.

He's an obstetrician, admitted to the college in 2005.
No involvement in public health, professor at UWE.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)
It means 'gazongas'.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)
If that were true, then I really wouldn't understand the point.
I mean, why would I have a problem with that?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
All you need to understand is that old pregnant women are dangerous
Except for those with big boobies.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
Or are they more dangerous?
I forget
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I think they are more likely to trip over them

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
You can be as physically healthy as you like
but the risk of chromosonal disorders like down syndrome does increase with age. at 20 it's 1 in 1500, at 37 it's 1in 242 and it just gets more likely as you increase age.
I'm not saying he's right but it's not a simple case of "my body, I can do what I like" waiting to become pregnant in later life does have drawbacks.
I don't really get his point about looking after parents, that's a strain whenever it happens
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)
I don't dispute the stats, and he
may have seemed a little more credible with a couple thrown in.
To be fair, some creative editing on the journalist's part to make the "selfish" comment prominent did the job of making me 1. look and 2. get mad enough to comment

He just seemed to come off as a pissed off little boy . . . "You nasty women coming in with all these problems - just stop it!"
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:36, Reply)
He's being a typical doctor.
Taking his medical opinion "people should stop making my job hard" and trying to justify it with poorly thought out logic and moronic social commentary.
All doctors think they know what's going on in society, and how to fix it but they rarely do.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)
If there's one thing I've learnt . . .
it's that I can't fix a bloody thing.
I cannot unbreak bones
I cannot reverse arthritis
I cannot uninjure tissues

And my job is not to be a preacher. I make the best of a situation after the injury. Preventative medicine is part of what I do, but insulting people isn't a great way to do it...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Doesn't being pregnant help/stop arthritis for the length of the pregnancy.
You should get all your arthritic women pregnant.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)
I know a pregnant women with arthritis and she complains pretty badly about it
She also continues to smoke weed, so perhaps her view is not so valid...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:55, Reply)
"Oh my, my arthritis is so bad I can't skin up, you'll have to do it"
That sort of thing?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:57, Reply)
Funnily enough she can just about manage to skin up
But it's ok because she "doesn't put much tobacco in". Weed is fine apparently.
Oh, and she can't eat because it makes her feel sick.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:59, Reply)
She sounds classy.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)
She really is.
In order to occasionally buy weed I have to occasionally spend time with people like this. It's nice to see how the other half live sometimes.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Why do small time weed dealers always have such 'big plans'
which you know will never even come close to fruition?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)
I never deal directly with dealers
Always keep myself at least one removed from them.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)
If you linked to the original article
au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/newshome/10391604/you-are-selfish-senior-doctor-tells-old-mums/

it does have some numbers in, but not many. But it's a report of an interview, so that's really down to the poor quality journalism that is so prevalent in the southern hemisphere.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)
Excellent . . .
didn't see that - thanks. I received the link in an email (hence my absence earlier).
Yes, some stats - and a little on the caseoad of that particular unit, which see difficult pregnancies. So I guess the sample is skewed a little . . . which I would've thought "Barry" might have taken into account.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Without the actual text of the interview
you can't possibly know what "Barry" actually thinks, the whole article is a ludicrous puff piece designed around a headline whose only intention is to grab your attention. Which it did. But it only contains about 3 or 4 quotes from the guy.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
Oh yes,
the sound bites from the guy are very well picked.
But I still find it hard to believe that in the course of a typical interview those phrases would come up, so I suspect ol' Barry is a bit of a prick.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Well, since it's almost certainly an interview about his opinion on older women who have kids
I don't see why it would surprise you that they came up?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)
"It is selfish and self-centred of older women to have babies"
that is a judgemental statement if I ever saw one . . . why on earth would a sane, logical (and someone who should be well-mannered with the public) man come up with that in the course of an interview?

"It is riskier to have babies as an older woman"
"It is more complicated having babies as an older woman"

There are far more civilised ways to say a similar thing.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Everyone should be culled when they get to 40
it's the only way
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)
I'm really struggling to understand your point in all this
I get that you don't agree with him, that's fine, but you're trying to make out that what he said is totally unexpected.

He has done an interview with a paper about his opinions on older women having babies. His opinion is that doing so is selfish. That's it, that's his opinion. It's an opinion arrived at by doing a job that involves coming in to contact with a lot of older women who have children and experience problems.

The facts are, as you say:
"It is riskier to have babies as an older woman"
"It is more complicated having babies as an older woman"

But his opinion, based on those facts, are that it is selfish of older women to have kids. And ultimately he's fully entitled to his opinion, as you are to yours.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)
His interview isn't unexpected as a whole . . .
the but about being selfish is unexpected, and very unprofessional.

His opinion is hiw own, and I disagree with him (although he can speak his mind on the subject at will).

What shits me is his position in this article is of a health professional, with training in a certain area. He provides facts, but also provides an opinion which is atagonistic, rude and does very little for his standing as a doctor.

He can't prove "selfish," he can't give me a percent incidence of "selfishness," - it a judgement that doesn't belong with all the other stuff there.

He loses credibility and objectivity when he uses that sort of description.
It's also a lazy way to argue - insult the population you are informing.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)
Is it not rather selfish to put your own belated desire to spawn
over that of the health of your potential child? 1 in 247 for Downs isn't great odds.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)
Oh for pete's sake, stop personalising it, the bloke has never meet you and wasn't thinking of you when he wrote it. He has no idea how old and haggared you are.
He's a medical profesional doing an interview, would you expect him to say "Generally, and it's not true of all older women, and I really hope you don't mind me saying, but generally (and I stress, this isn't with everyone, it's only with some (really sorry if this offends)) that it could possibly be riskier to have babies as a mature women (which doesn't mean you're ugly or insupiror, it's just the way nature is, I really hope that's OK with you, it's just my experiance, might not be true for everyone" ?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:25, Reply)
For all we know, he might have said exactly that anyway
because it's not going to get reported is it?

I wasn't aware that hyppocratic oath forbade Doctors from having an opinion either.

I'm with you and Al, I really don't see the problem here.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:28, Reply)
Opinions aren't forbidden . . .
but imposing opinions/values on patients is.

What I feel about a patient's condition is not relevant to what say/do to them.
It doesn't even come into the conversation.

Could you imagine your doctor telling how he feels about each of your medical decisions? It's basically not his business.

I saw the problem with this guy's choice of words. That is all.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that my medical decisions are exactly my doctor's buisness, as well as mine.
How would you word "It is riskier to have babies as an older woman" and "It is more complicated having babies as an older woman" ?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)
Your decisions are his busniess - his opinions on them are not relevant . . .
but I'm happy to agree to disagree as I'm a little tired of making the same point multiple times.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)
But as Al already said
that's not what he has done. he hasn't said to a patient in a consultation that he thinks they are selfish. He has offered an opinion at a general level in response to a question he was asked.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)
An opinion as someone who is supposed to have an educated and measured view on the subject . . .
Selfish doesn't sound particularly measured.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)
No, selfish is a perfect description of what is happening.
If someone knowingly makes a decision that puts their self interest above that of other people who rely on them, that is selfish.

Selfish - concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)
Look, let's agree to disagree
I will not accept that sort of language is a proper way to address a difficult medical question, and makes the person sound less credible, and you don't have an issue with it.

And I need to sleep.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)
Surely the only sensible way to settle this
is by arm-wrestling?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)
God no . . .
Too tired . . .

How about rock/paper/scissors?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:59, Reply)
Knifey-spooney?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)
Of course it's relevant
a patient comes to you and says "I've got diabetes but I love eating pies and cakes, smoking 50 fags a day, and drinking a bottle of wine"

You're going to say "Ok, that's fine, your decision 100%, I have no opinion on your actions".

Or, as a sensible doctor, you would more likely say "Don't smoke or drink and eat less pies and cakes"

And they will say "But I want to keep doing all this, and if I die my 3 year old child will be an orphan"

You will continue to say "oh, fine, your decision 100%".

Or maybe "You're being a bit selfish putting your cake and pie needs before that of your child, the way you are going, you will die much sooner than you need to"
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)
I probably wouldn't be telling anyone I'm OK with a bad decision
what I will tell them is the options for their health. If you do this, x will happen. If you do this, y will happen.

At no point will I insult someone if I disagree with them. "If you want to do the following to your body, - these are the consequences . . . "

What ultimately happens to a patient is up to them, except when something life-threatening happens.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)
And as Gonz said, he hasn't insulted anyone either.
He's make a generalisation. Based on risks backed up by evidence.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)
So selfish is a term of endearment 'round your way
then?

Joking . . .


He's made a judgement on the personalities of a population, based on evidence (clincal and his own experience). Selfish is a adjective used to describe behaviour - he shouldn't be touching that argument in public at all.

And now I really am getting to bed . . . 'night
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)
You really should stop editting your posts after the even without noting the fact that you are editting them
It's very bad manners when trying to have a discussion with someone.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)
But.. but... but... PIE!

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)
It's okay Davros, it's okay, it was only theoretical pie.
It wasn't eve theoretically nice.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Phew.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)
What surprises me most of all from dating sites are the amount of men my age who don't have kids and still want them.
Are they fucking mad?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Senile prolly.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Senile old bellends.
Like someone we know.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:27, Reply)
When I masturbate I sing that hym "We soe the seeds and scaaater"

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)
I also sing nigro slave songs when I mastrubate.
"I've been workign on the Rail Road, all the live long day"
"Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' forth to carry me home."

It helps the time pass.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)
I think it's a last minute panic to carry on their genes or summat.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Man sows the seed, right, nature grows the seed, yeah?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:28, Reply)
I thought it was oats?
That's why I can't eat porridge
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
Medically it's wiser to have kids earlier.
It's also wiser not to smoke or drink when pregnant and to have a good diet, all of this is good advice but no reason to make it law. There is also the emotional/financial aspect. Physically women may be best able to have l=kids at 18/20 but what 18 year old has the sense to raise a child well, let alone the cash, I reckon it all evens out in the end.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)
I'd say 16 is the maximum age they should concieve.
And they should all get council accomodation out of our taxes.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
This is another way to deal with it.
Early, subsidised, pregnancy kick the brats out to have there own kids when they are 16 and you are 32 and then you can have your life to your self. It would work, not sure how healthy the kids would be emotionally, but physically they'd probably be fine.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Then make them pay back all the benefits they've had from the
excellent jobs they will no doubt all occupy.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)
The governemnt will pay me £20 a week to spend on my crotch fruit
I shall use it to feed her gruel and dress her in sack cloth
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)
It's the only way she'll learn.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
YAY, THE DUREX DOG ADVERTS ARE BACK =DDDD

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)
That song gets stuck in my head on a regular basis, it's quite infuriating.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Whut..?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)
You know, the dog who sells condoms...?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)
*calls jeff*

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
He uses them to protect his bone.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
when he's after a nice bit of tail

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)
Yeah, you know, "Knick knack, paddywhack..."?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
The big shaggy durex dog.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)
Dulux?
:D
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:58, Reply)
Ohhhhhh, I'm always mixing those two up.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)
Must make for interesting times in the bedroom.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)
*joke about having the painters in*

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)
You'd best leave your winky in white spirit overnight then Gonz

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Andrex?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:14, Reply)
They should kick the old mother in the cunt

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
^The only language they understand

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
If you do it hard enough you could kick the unfortunate fetus right out of the old bint's gob

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I think people should stop breeding full fucking stop
there's too many people as it is, children are just a selfish indulgence.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Depends how you cook them.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Actually a growing population is essentila to the economic stability of a country
that's why it is encouraged
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)
I think there are other reasons that it's encouraged too,
still having a child is probably the least environmentally friendly thing an individual can do.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Raising a herd of 100,000 cattle on your land that is also a shale gas field and heavy metal mine would be worse
that or being Jeremy Clarkson
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
You know what I mean you bummer.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Bumming is very environmentally friendly as it means methane gas
is absorbed into the bummer from the bummie rather than being released into the air
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:14, Reply)
What a load of bollocks

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)
also you fail at 'one word for this man...'
'utter, utter prick' is three words
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)
You can't expect an Australian to be able write AND count

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)
it's australian?
Oh well that explains it, very sorry for your lack of culture etc...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)
Send them some yoghurt in the post

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)
probiotic?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:08, Reply)
of course

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)

of course no, I'm against it
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)
Sorry
I've failed you
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)
Then there's even more words afterwards.
Why must everyone lie on /qotw?
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)
It's enough to make me want to leave
and set up my own, better board on mingers.com
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)
See I know that should be pronounced "Ming-ers"
but part of my always wants to say it "minge-ers"
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Is that where Noddy Holder tried to buy the set for his Nativity?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)
eh?

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)
accent joke.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:17, Reply)
ah
carry on then
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:21, Reply)
Two words.
One is repeated.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)
it's two different words, granted
but it's still three words, you pleb
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Pedantic response gets a pedantic response
As did mine.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)
"one is repeated" is three words thicko

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)
you're on form today

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
*counts*
Yup, you're right.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)
You must be on your period.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)
Yeah', that's exactly the point, she's not knocked up.

(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)
Think they may be "drying up"
As it were...
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:32, Reply)
Haha, I don't think that's fair to say Mrs Legless is a haggared old lady who's getting insulted by someone explaining nature because it goes against her wishes to sporn something before it's too late 'cus she didn't get around to doing it already.
That's really not fair to say that at all.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)
True
It is unfair of me to speculate as to whether Mrs Legless is still menstruating or not.

Unless it is for the lols.
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

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