Morning lades.
What is that in your hand? Will it make a mess?

Alt: If you had a problem, and no one else could help. Just how would you find the A Team?
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:37, 153 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: I'd probably ask some 'lades', whatever the fuck they are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:49, Reply)

BEWARE THE LADES OF MARCH!

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:52, Reply)

I like a Lade with new tattoos.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I haz new tattoos : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I has bad LADES :((((

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

There there!

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I spent half of last night gargling salt water*.
My throat is killing me.


*and accidentally swallowed some and then nearly puked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Ya see!
Deep throating isn't as easy as it looks.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Deep throating Researching sub atomic particles


Hang on, I'm doing this wrong aren't I.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

You could never do anything wrong in my eyes.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

never do anything wrong cum

And order is restored.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

obvious post is obvious

salt water spunk
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Classical quotations before 9am?
Who are you and what have you done with Blousie?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

I'm an intellectual.
I just hide it well.
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

You really do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

She hides it under her boobs
they can hide anything.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

It's my cock and it's about to make a mess of your mum's face
Alt: Google
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:51, Reply)

In my hand is a fucking big machete so watch out. I am not in the mood for any cunts today.
Alt: What are you? 12 or something?

Fuckwit.

disclaimer: I am in a very very bad mood this morning. Politeness and civility do not exist on planet Battered today.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Tell auntie Blouse all about it.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Annoying former colleagues. Annoying Orange mobile phone company. Annoying wife. Annoying neighbours. Annoying headhunter I have to meet this afternoon. Annoying cat puking on my carpet. Annoying central heating system that failed to come on this morning. Annoying bank manager. Annoying in-laws.

Need I go on?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

please do

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

At least Dale Farm lost in court.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

YAY!!!!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Well at least you have your health.
*hopes battered isn't ill*
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Thankfully my health is fine thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Chill out mate, it might never happen/it's probably not that bad/it'll all work out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:54, Reply)

FUCK OFF SHIT CUNT

nothing personal
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Answers to your problems in order:
Ak 47, letter bombs, 'stair fall', letterbox + piss, musket, pitbull terrier, hammer, Monty's patented credit score building scheme, pilers + brake lines.

I hope this helps
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

These are helpful ta. Except pilers. What the hell are they? Some sort of homo?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

dammit
*pliers*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

It's OK old chap - you're amongst 'lades' here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:56, Reply)

dictionary.reference.com/browse/lades
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Ah OK that fits quite well, then.
You are indeed amongst 'burdens' here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I thought he was referring to the verb:
"to take on a load"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I thought it was going to mean benders

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Chillax the fuck up.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Not good fella, hope all work out

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:00, Reply)

o good god gracious
I hope kristine doesn't use this foul mood of yours too bully you off the board again!

LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Oh good it's Bert.
I am just in the mood for you today. Bring it on shitface.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

You're like a tyrannosaurus rex!
only without the massive jaws and teeth, the enormous towering size and the incredible predatory hunting ability

just flidarms

RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

This is the best thing that will appear on the board today.
I guarantee it.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

It made me smile but I just didn't want to admit it.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

why bar set so low?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

We're not really high achievers on off-topic.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

We are the extra chromosome of b3ta
*licks window*
*wanks on cat*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

*throws cat at window*
*cries online*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

*bum pics*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

*fucks sister*
*drink drives home*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

*buys expensive cardigan*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

You've lost me now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

that numpty Barry spent £180 on a cardigan when he was broke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Mr B.Eastenders does love his clothing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Don't be so hard on yourself
I know you're a sock puppet, but even sock puppets can have funny moments.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

HUGZ

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Excellent
For once I won't be the grumpiest cunt here.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I SAW A GRUMPY CUNT ONCE
at least, I think it was grumpy, its smile was sideways
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

She was Chinese

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

This is also not a bad posting
Keep it up
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

well, that's my day ruined already
I won't be contributing to this thread, apols
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

It's a USB mouse
And it will make a mess if I continue to receive retarded questions off my fellow members of staff today, when I mash it into their faces.

Alt: 118 500
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 8:59, Reply)

See any of BBC Parliament yesterday?
Rotho was boss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Unfortunately not, I was out for the night
I've heard fantastic things though, aye
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Its going to be a coffee in one and a pen in t'other
ALT: www.ba.com
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

None of my problems have any altruistic merit, the chances of a fictional team of mercenaries assisting me seem somewhat remote
I'll take a couple of spoons of cement and deal with them myself I expect.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

No one wants sensible advice here.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Fine then, live in your worlds of Carbamazepine and Risperidone see if I care!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Carbamazepine is shit. Lamotrigine is much better.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I don't know
I liked his first two albums, but that one with The Pariah Dogs was shit.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Ray Lamotrigine ftw!

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

You like the gruff beardies don't-cha?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I do : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

*regrets morning shave, clearing off 5 days of bristles*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Antiques 'Rocky' roadshow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:05, Reply)

is that a food tv pun I see?
I might contribute to this remarkable thread after all
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Mash in the Attic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Flog It-su Curry

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

It's my phone
And only if by 'mess' you mean 'pointles facebook status updates'.

Alt: I wouldn't, they were fictional and I think some of them are dead and oh, therems something interesting out of the window....

/dull and easily distracted
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Has your face AIDS cleared up?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Earing AIDS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

*golf clap*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I'm having a pundown today
*dances*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Still a bit deaf
Recovering annoyingly slowly, I reckon aanother week before I'm 100%.

And, may I just say I am surprised and touched by your concern.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Alt: I'd use the bat signal
Morning all
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

it's a pen, and only if I use it the wrong way.
I'd look up the A-team in the yellow pages.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Would you look under A or T?
Or perhaps M for Mercenaries?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

J for Jailed for a crime THEY DID NOT COMMIT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Or more simply H for Homosexuals

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

I think Face may have swung both ways but you can tell BA and Hannibal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Yeah... BA was totally straight.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

BA was a weapons-grade wanker and those snickers adverts he has done get right on my moobs.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I liked it when he got nose cancer.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Mr T got skin cancer on his nose.
You can see his weird nostril on the Snickers ads if you look.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I shall check this out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I didn't say he didn't like Snicker Street
Just I wouldn't tell him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I don't want to tell them
unless I'm more than a mile away
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

You know how all men want to see the entire "Pussycat Dolls" naked fucking each other.
Are women like you the same with the a-team ?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

We're really not
I'd pay decent money not to watch the A-team fuck
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Ok, pay me £20 and I promise not to show you the A team fucking.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

I would love to see the situation that lead to you being forced to watch the a-team fucking each other and the only 'out' for it is paying someone some money.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I'm probably broke enough
that I'd just shut my eyes instead
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

It's a shame you don't have earlids like you have eyelids.
You can't close your ears.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

I want to see the A team fucking the pussycat dolls

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

The Pussycat Dolls look like crack whores and trannies

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

There was one nice one, but I think she left,
but yeah, skanks the lot.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

I dont think she was that nice either TBH
Relatively she was hot though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Do you know why they call him BA?
Because he makes her sounds like a sheep going "baa baaaa baaaaa BAAAAAA".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I bet in every Yellow pages there's a "man with a van" called something beginning with A
and has a company called the A team, or the Adam Team or some shit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardvark Team

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanal Team

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

4 into 1 does not go*
unless you are Darth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Well, the biggest problem in my life right now is that I put my can of 'V' drink on the other side of the table as I went to sit down....
... and I have to stretch really really far, or even stand up, to get it. I'm pretty sure that calling in the entire A-Team to fix this problem would be over-kill, and besides, I just stretched to get it and have it now. I'm sorry I wasted their time, I hope there isn't a minimal billable hours, maybe I could get them to do some odd jobs around the house to make up the time? I haven't had a light bulb in my main hall for about 3 weeks now because I don't like standing on chairs and can't reach it otherwise. I'm really scared that the light in the bathroom will go, then I'll be fucked, or have to get one of those step-ladders, eaither way, I'll have to read my book via iPad 'cus it has a light.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I wouldn't worry too much
they were a soft touch, I don't think they ever actually made anyone pay in the end.

I mean, if they had, they could have afforded proper weapons and not garden sprinklers with bamboo canes taped to them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Please desist from making any further comments about shit children's TV programmes from the 80's

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Shan't!
(That's what Mr Uppity used to say, on the Mr Men. In the 80's)
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I second this vote.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

and turnips

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:33, Reply)

Oh, I fucking hate that, so much.
In 2 years time you end up with an invoice out the blue and it's always in the middle of the month when the pennies are short.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

You missed a good day on Sunday - shame you couldn't make it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Yeah', I wish I could have gone, was looking forward to it for youks, I think there are a few food fairs in'n'around there though, so hopefully next time.
I had unlimited sushi yesterday, it was good, like, really really good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

So very, very good.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Deffo =D
I don't mind doing the same next time, or ribs, both are good for me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I reckon ribs. CHCB seemed quite keen on trying some different stuff.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Awesomeness, how 'bout in about 3 week's time?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I bought a Spanish blue cheese (I had no idea the cunts even make blue cheese)
which is perhaps the best cheese I have ever eaten.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:41, Reply)

The trouble with finding amazing cheeses are is that you can never find them again.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

You're searching for cheeses?
I thought your gang killed the blighter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Except it was the romans, wasn't it? and Jesus was jewish
Never understood this bit of anti semitism.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I've juist reallised:
Gonz is the second coming.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

He can create food for lots of people
Maybe it takes a bit of practice to get to 5000
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Enough food for 5000 Baline B3tans would feed Somalia for a month

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I think the reasoning amongst the bonkers
is that the Jews supposedly demanded the death penalty as opposed to the Romans who simply wanted them to fuck off and take their naughty boy with them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Well I suppose it's no less tenuous that a lot of silly beliefs.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Why have all the icons on my desktop dissapeared?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Desktop Cleanup wizard?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Because God hates you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

God hates fags
g t
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Tod hates fags?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I'm not sure what BGB has against them
or more to the point what god has against the 'heavily proportioned' of this world
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Ardent anti-smoker innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Your monitor is off.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Or this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Someone lolwaki has set a picture of your empty desktop as your desktop!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:46, Reply)

None of the above, it was just being shit
I logged out and logged in again and it's working.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:47, Reply)

What do you do?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Pop Quiz Hotshot
/film
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

POINT BREAK!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Speed!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Roaming profiles FTL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I don't have a roaming profile

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Shit PC then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Have Darth and Vipros run away together?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)