That's enough beakering
Egg nog - white liquid gold or sickly eggy death

Alt: Whose a bigger cunt, the guy on the bus with his "thermos mug" of coffee or someone driving a Prius?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:21, 116 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sickly eggy death
/allergic to eggs

Alt: The Prius driver definitely. Coffee is acceptable, Prius drivers are not
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Yeah but, "i roast and grind my own beans at home as it's the only way to get decent coffee that I can drink out of my thermos mug"
is fucking wanky
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:28, Reply)

True
but as someone who has more than once absentmindly taken a cup of tea (in a non thermos cup) out shopping with me, I am less inclined to judge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I like this
Did you find yourself in M&S with a cold cup of tea?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Usually I realise it half way down the street
drink it quickly and hide the mug in my bag
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:58, Reply)

hahahaha!
You mong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

hahaha, you big mental

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

first sign of Alzheimers lolz

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:59, Reply)

first sign of Alzheimers lolz

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

You big spastic you're a mentalist.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I find that really endearing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

My Alzheimers doesn't prevent me from hearing the sarcasm Monty

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Never tried it
Alt: Coffee
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Don't it's hideous

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Me either
I shall rectify this at Christmas
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

haven't tried it either
and don't get the bus because I'm not a povvo, so Prius
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:27, Reply)

What about someone driving a Pious with a "thermos mug" of coffee?
I quite like the dessert zabaglione, is egg nog anything like that?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Not really.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Avoid lavender and rose water pannacotta. Friend of my wife's made it. Eurgh. I would rather lick Richard Blackwood's armpit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

That sounds "shit"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

mememememe - but this is quite funny
i just got back from reading (i'm in this volunteer scheme where i go to a school in a disadvantaged area once a week to help a small child with its reading) and my child this year is still a bit young to be able to read very much. so normally i buy her stickers and we draw pictures. this week she wanted me to draw her a giraffe. so i did.

and she then got the green crayon and slowly and laboriously added what can only be described as a giant green hairy cock. i was a bit taken aback. for a start it should have been yellow and brown. then she demanded that i drew another giraffe. a smaller one. SUCKING IT.

it took me longer than it should have done to work out that she had drawn udders. i blame you. all of you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Hahahaha, I love this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

What, sucking off giraffes?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

It great, much less hard on the knees than horses

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Fantastic!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

the problem is that i can draw quite well at a basic level
but no more than this. so the kids inevitably think it's fantastic, and take it to show the teacher, who just looks at me with a very special kind of pity.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

You can draw animal porn quite well at a basic level, you mean

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Egg nog is repulsive
My father's second wife once made about two fucking litres of it the first Christmas she and my father were together. I tried it first and did the polite thing ie lied through my teeth about how lovely it was. Everyone else was honest and said it was vile so for the next three days I kept having glasses of that filth thrust into my hand by my 'new mother'. Lying – don’t do it, kids?

In other news I have an INAPPROPRIATE PRODUCT ALERT from Sainbury’s in North Finchley – for Christmas they are stocking a ‘Glitter pencil case’. I have of course called the Daily Mail.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Check the lable to see if it was made in Cambodia

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:35, Reply)

+ by 6 year old's.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Do you have nothing to add
on the subject of Prius drivers? Ay? Ay?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

They are all bent. Every single one of them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I got two emails yesterday
1: 2-4-1 fireworks at sainsburys.
2: 50% off life insurance
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

cool story bro

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I hadn't realised you led such a lonely existence.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Sometimes I have to slap myself in the face just to remind me I'm alive.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I'm sure others can help here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Whenever I see a Prius driver on the motorway
I give them a cheery wave as I drop a gear and go past with my engine bouncing off the rev limiter.

Eat my petrol fumes, you self-satisfied hempy prick.
( Kroney, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

What's wrong with a thermos mug?
I like a brew while I'm waiting for my (inevitably delayed) train
(DeeDee, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:38, Reply)

It makes you look like a cunt, sorry to be the bearer etc...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

oh well

(DeeDee, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Fucking idiots who take coffee on the tube in rush hour piss me off. Stupid inconsiderate cunts.
I hope they all scald themselves. In the face.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I would pay good money to see this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Alt : you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

speaking of buses........
This has just had me in hysterics - must be the "couldn't give a shit" pills starting to kick in.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-15393546
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Christ alive.
The very definition of a 'slow news day'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

The resulting story where the whole family dies
after ingesting numerous strangers spittle is much more entertaining
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

No that's when a mong drowns in the duck pond

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

BONG!
Man crosses road!

BONG!

Sea remains large, wet!

BONG!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

like your mum

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:49, Reply)

*click*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Does she cross the road too?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Oh, well done!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)

'local man dies of natural causes'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

funnily enough
my thoughts exactly. Although LB has a French Market on today so off to buy some Epoisses with the money I should be paying my bills with......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Good work.
Leave a small bit of Epoisses down the back of our mutual 'friend's' radiator and watch him lose his mind trying to find the source of the smell. Go on, do it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

That would be cruel
and a waste of fab cheese. I have a can of pilchards which would do a much better job.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:19, Reply)

You know what to do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Disgusting eggy death.
I suppose it depends on the Thermos, really. If it's a tartan one then the Thermos guy is definitely the bigger cunt. A tartan thermos implies that at one point it has held soup, and has been privy to a one-person-sex-pest-a-thon on a heath somewhere.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

A good point, well made
There will also be a kagoul (or however it is spelled)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I tried making it last year but got distracted and ended up with scrambled egg nog
The Canadian relatives I was making it for were not impressed.

Alt: Don't have a problem with either. Are Prius drivers not very good at driving or something?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

The problem with Priuses is that they're too quiet,
and you can't hear them until they're right on top of you
(DeeDee, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

And they are driven by smug self satisfied wankers who think they are saving the planet, when apparently the manufacturing process for the batteries does more harm than 100,000 miles of driving with a standard petrol engine.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:50, Reply)

And then there's disposal
since the recycling process for the batteries causes almost as much harm as the manufactoring process.
( Kroney, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

This is a good point.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Basically, they're fucking shit.

( Kroney, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

You can take used batteries to WH Smith
I'd do that
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 14:58, Reply)

They're not as ugly as Multiplas tho
they are the worst car and anyone who drives one is a dick
(DeeDee, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Argh!
They look like something with eyes those things! FUCKING HORRIBLE CAR
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:03, Reply)

zzzzzzzzcarszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Gary Numan's dreaming again.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I fucking love a bit of Numan.
The first 30 seconds or so of 'Films' is almost as good as 'Tom Sawyer' by Rush for the old breakbreat cut-up so beloved of me and every other right thinking 'beat junkie' out there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:08, Reply)

On a scale of 1 to 10
How dirty would you say these beats are?
( Kroney, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:12, Reply)

On a scale of 1 to 10 how impressed would a hungarian person be by them?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Dirtier than BGB after three bottles of Black Tower.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:46, Reply)

I can't think where the third one goes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:47, Reply)

like a special needs version of a normal car

(DeeDee, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Bollocks to this. I'm off to the pub before the amateur drinkers get there.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Bollocks to that
Outside Next in Norwich, where the disaffected and the emo gather to listen to buskers and wish they could master the skateboard like the cooler kids up by the Forum, there was a small and peaceful protest going on. One of the many hand-painted banners proclaimed "THE SYSTEM HAS FAILD".

I want to call it satire, I really do.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:23, Reply)

You should put on your wackiest haircut
and go and throw shapes near them.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Are you really going to make a meme out of haircuts?
You? Really?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I could talk about your "culture slut" T-shirt if you like.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I could even post a picture.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)

*shuts up*
You're looking very dashing today, Al
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:34, Reply)

That's brilliant
I'm still amused at the girl who wrote yesterday "Inside I'm DIYING", cracked me right up.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I'm going to be DIYing tomorrow too.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)

First click in ages
Also; you are middle aged
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I can't help it, my fence is falling down.
And I need to move the bathroom light switch and put in some coving and stuff like that.

Or, I may just lie on the sofa and watch DVDs and complain while my wife brings me Lemsip, which is a bit rude since she's dosed up on high strength anti-biotics in an attempt to avoid having to have foot surgery.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Will she have to wear a big shoe?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Have you seen the story about the guy who ordered 2 standard slippers and received one GIANT one?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:41, Reply)

No.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:43, Reply)

abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2011/10/could-giant-slipper-story-be-a-monster-pr-stunt/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Oh man, it's like he ordered a pair of slippers and got one giant one instead.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:45, Reply)

It has been shown to be a "PR stunt" LOL !!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!! x

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:46, Reply)

LOL.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:47, Reply)

I don't get it.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Ask PERSONALITY HORSE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Never had it, nor will I, the very idea sounds disgusting
Alt: Prius drivers, as a cyclist I find them only marginally less murderous than BMW drivers. I have been known to take coffee with me rather than throw away still-to-hot-to-drink coffee when it's time to leave for work or do without until I get to work.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Still on lunch?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Nope.
Got a fair bit done this morning, now feeling shit and coldy. I'd bugger off home early as no one else is here, but I have to pick my son up after work so no point. Basically I've done the important bits, faked some of the less important bits and some stuff I'm leaving til next week.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I love Eggnnog, and also Advocaat

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Fuck off FreeFair.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Oh , is this the every noob is an old user thing?

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Fuck off Bert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I have always wondered, who is this Bert?

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Look in a mirror
and then fuck a child who is also your sister and then try and engage in a political debate and then get scared of baked beans.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Is this what he did?
The fiend!
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 16:00, Reply)

YOU ARE!
Well maybe not, he is a psychopath who fucked his sister and has regular meltdowns when he sneaks back here
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:56, Reply)

What is this cot-arge piiie?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Not getting the reference.

(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:58, Reply)

She's saying that you have vaginal thrush

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 16:01, Reply)

If indeed that is their real genitalia

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Is that what you feed to your victims before you nonce them?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Right I'm off you matted pile of clagnuts
have lovely weekends.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I shan't just to spite you

(Bazongaloid, Fri 21 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)