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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Bad news all O/T people
Been to the consultants today and my death isn't imminent. I have to lose a pint of blood every four weeks for the rest of my life, but I'll still be at large.

Your medical issues are...?

Edit - please accept that my problems are fuck all compared to some.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:04, 255 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
...that I'm large.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:06, Reply)
That's a psychological issue

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:08, Reply)
Okay
then arthritis, endometriosis, and depression.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:10, Reply)
I've just bunged a disclaimer on the thread header
I put germolene on my bad AIDS and it went away.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:15, Reply)
Everyone's health issues are important to them.
It's all relative.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
I'm not deleting the thread
But within a couple of minutes I felt bad about posting it.

See below - my reply to AA.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:21, Reply)
Large and in Charge.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
I'm in charge of nothing.
How's you, hardnut?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)
I'm doing good thanks.
Today I made a microsite for the video game SSX, mostly, I still need the videos and pictures and what they want for the competition... but that's really easy. I love it when inside one day's work I bring in more than a year's wages.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)
I'm asthmatic
Not the most fun, but not too bad. I also have eczema, that comes and goes though.

Why do you need to have blood removed?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:07, Reply)
I have this little tinker
www.bbc.co.uk/health/physical_health/conditions/haemochromatosis1.shtml
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:11, Reply)
Ahh
A friend of mine has that too, I believe...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:12, Reply)
It's shit, but it's controllable shit.
I regret starting this thread now.

I'm feeling sorry for myself but there's a whole lot of people worse off than me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
I know the feeling
Currently I'm pissed off with this FUCKING MOUTH ULCER I've got. Pathetic, but really, really annoying me.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)
You're allowed to feel a bit sorry for yourself sometimes.
If you're still bitching about it in a couple of days we'll give you a proper dose of man the fuck up.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:27, Reply)
Oh behave. We all have a moan so you're entitled.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:28, Reply)
It's what killed my dad
And luckily it's been diagnosed in me early so it's treatable.

I've been going through various blood tests for a while and this is the answer.

But I still feel a bit bad about sulking about a relatively small problem.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)
If it impacts your life
it's hardly a small problem.

Anyway, we're all allowed a bit of beakering every now and again.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)
An hour every 4 weeks
Hardly an impact.

I musn't eat too much red meat (never did.)
I musn't drink red wine (fuck.)
I musn't drink beer (fuck again.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Vodka!

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Don't have any, unless you count poor eyesight.
Without my contacts I can't focus on anything more than 18 inches from my face.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:08, Reply)
I've got poor eyesight as well.
Shite I'm doomed!
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:09, Reply)
Oh, this too.
And I'm anaemic. Can I have some of your extra iron?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:15, Reply)
I'd love to donate my blood
But it's not allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)
18", pah.
About 7" for me.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:11, Reply)
I went for a medical the other day and apart from being short-sighted, having psoriasis on my scalp and suffering occasionally-crippling depression I'm fully fit to drive a hackney carriage or private hire vehicle.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:10, Reply)
overactive thyroid.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:10, Reply)
I'm too good looking.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:14, Reply)
I'm not sure I want to go clubbing with you if you're as handsome as you say you are.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
Why the devil not?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
All the women will be giving me the evils.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)
So what?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:20, Reply)
What if they all gang up on me in the toilets?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)
Not going to happen.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)
How can you be sure?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)
Because at Basics there is never any trouble.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)
Well ok then.
But if anyone asks I'll tell them I'm your mother.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:26, Reply)
Will do.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)
Pylori bacteria and chronic whinging.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:15, Reply)
I suffer from chronic whinging.
mr b3th's, usually.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:16, Reply)
I once kicked a cat. Does that count?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:18, Reply)
Was it asking for it?
Did it look at your bird? Spill your pint?
I once kicked a pigeon. I felt surprisingly guilty afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:20, Reply)
It was a persian. Fucking forrins, ruining Britain.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)
Only if you broke a toe in the process.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:20, Reply)
I broke the cat's jaw. Does that count.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)
Cat owners unite!
Against this sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)
I'm chronicly lucky, I just won a bottle of 5CL Glayva. I'm going to enjoy that.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)
im ginger

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)
: (((((((((((((

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:22, Reply)
We have a winnar!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)
So is my moustache.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)
the fit greek bloke who used to cut my hair had ginger bits in his beard
its a common affliction amongst men apparently
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:25, Reply)
Lucky previous ginger women he just gave a brazilian too, then.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:27, Reply)
i hate to pull you on this paul but this jokes a fail

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)
Are you sure? I think it's alright, has potential for a smirk, which is all I could hope for.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:31, Reply)
no, definitely not
hairdressers dont usually do the minge bits. that's a beautician love
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:32, Reply)
_usually_.
Why can't we let the chicken cross the road without questioning it's motives?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)
look, just take the fucking reprimand and lets all move on

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)
You're just jelly 'cus I got a mini bottle of biscoitti baylies and a mini bottle of galyva.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)
i let you spam my wall with that baileys bollocks and i got not one sniff of a freebie

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)
Haha, gutted.
OH MAN, I GOT MY FIRST MISSION FROM NOKIA ! I gotta snap up 3 shots of stunning beards. Can I use your picture?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
I mean, that one you had of you with a ginger beard.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
nah it was my moustache
unlucky
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)
Nah', the idea is for me to take photos of ones I see, rather than my ones.
I got the facial hair at the moment so might do some wacky thing to it for the photos.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)
theres two, pick the good one

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)
Cheers =D

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:20, Reply)
Sometimes the whole beard's a different colour to the hair on top.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:43, Reply)
I've got freckles and little bits of ginger in my beard.
I'm not looking for any recognition or owt, just making conversation.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:26, Reply)
youre lucky, a little bit is fine in your beard and that
fuck being ginger and male. us women can get away with it
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:28, Reply)
I quite like ginger guys.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)
I do like a bit of ginger on a girl, it's true.
Ginger men just look like fucking aliens.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)
Hubba hubba!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)
Sexy, sexy fucking aliens.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:35, Reply)
Also: yum
www.google.co.uk/search?q=Damian+Lewis&hl=en&safe=off&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=MzTVTtDJG4TX8gPjw72WAg&ved=0CEwQsAQ&biw=1024&bih=683
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:36, Reply)
Hell yeah!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:37, Reply)
And there's me trying to convince rose I ain't gay on fb.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:38, Reply)
gay

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
Bi, fanku.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
haha now i ent arguing with you on this one
but he is the one fucking ginger bloke ALWAYS pulled out when i have this conversation
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:38, Reply)
I rate him as an actor
but I wouldn't have said he was a particularly good looking man. Still, what would I know, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)
ive proper odd tastes
heres an example, alfie allen in game of thrones.
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)
oh, and ron perlman

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)
Ooo! I like Ron Perlman too.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Ha typical.
I can't think of many other good looking ginger men, you're right.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

bit.ly/uvoRd5
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)
noel, im always right mate

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)
I was ginger before I went grey
And I'm certainly not good looking.

You're right.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
yeh, theres maybe a handful
far far. far outnumbered by the bangable non-ginger blokes
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:36, Reply)
My missus is ginger. It's not so bad.
Men however, they just look silly if ginge.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)
omg
agreement
(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:31, Reply)
I'm kind of hungry, if that counts?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)
Finally, the thread turns to food.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:35, Reply)
And I've stuck details of a pub in the calendar.
So that ticks the 'drink' option.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Christmas party that night, Jeff
Badly played
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)
Not really.
You hadn't invited me to your christmas party. I couldn't wait for ever could I?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
But it's forty quid to bring a partner
you'd never have gone for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)
What would I get for you spending forty quid on a ticket for me?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)
What would you get, free booze and food.
A far more pertinent question is what would I get, you trollop.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Fuck all.
There is more chance of Maxine Carr appearing on Strictly than there is of you getting lucky with me.

(Granted, the free bar might restrict my performance and I'm just trying to hide the fact)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)
Alright Kroners?
Where's this pic of you that got posted? I want to see if I recognise you from our halcyon days in Trefforest.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Oh, you pervert

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)
lolwut?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)
Stop pandering, I'm not into guys.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)
Neither am I.
Did someone not post a bash pic of you on here though?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)
I know, it's confusing, you've been so sure in your sexuality
but there's this one guy you can't get out of your head. I understand, I do, I always get this from "straight" men. But I'm into girls, I'm just not willing to be your experiment. Sorry mate, I don't think any the less of you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)
I know.
I just get tired of how much chicks dig me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)
It's so tiresome, being handsome.
These uggos will never understand.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
I know.
Having to go through life with such a classically handsome face is a terrible responsibility.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:51, Reply)
I always said you'd no balls

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)
alright Rory bbz?
I got that 'package'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)
Shit dawg sssh not on here, did it cut up good?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
It made my laptop dun a blue screen.
That will be the first and last time I try to rip a Blu Ray packed with 50 gig of shemale porn which I received from a stranger on the internet.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)
Srs thou any good?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:51, Reply)
I was being serious.
Yeah, it was superb. You were right about Kimber James.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Everyone hearts old skool Mowax

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)
I NOE RITE?
I went on to discogs and bought Headz, Headz 2A and Attica Blues on vinyl.

I already have them on CD.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Yer I had the Headz series out the other day
There's always something of interest on those
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Did you know that the Cream Live 2 mix is up on youtube?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:08, Reply)
I'll have a gawp at that

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:14, Reply)
I'm not ginger
but I'm a carrier of the gene and have some of the related health problems
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)
jog on gingerless

(I helped save b3ta! rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)
My hair is distinctly mahogany in bright sunlight

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Rather than hair-spray do you put Mister Sheen on it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)
No, but I will now

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)
I hear she likes a bit of charlie (sheen) in that respect.
I wish to say publicly that this is a fabrication made up for a potential joke/play on words. Should she be working in a blood creation facility, she'll not be under the influances of banned substances at any point in time.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:31, Reply)
*puts Gonz on hold*
Drive, by The Cars, on pan-pipes
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Do you remember the band Gene?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Why yes I do.
They did an utterly inoffensive cover of The Ship Song.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Pure do

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
Are you breathing again today?
Enquiring minds need to know.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)
Breathing better but have caustic snot, b3thski

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
ew

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Fuck off spiteful cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)
I am a pure spiteful cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)
*GLOMPS@

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)
Mind out, I'm a mean arse bastard

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:55, Reply)
You're just so full of caustic hate, you.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)
And snot, TD, and snot.
Glad you're not gonna croak and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:54, Reply)
But these things go in threes though.
My nan told me. And after losing Amberl and Monty, it's only a matter of time before someone else died.

Unless Gary Speed was a lurker on here, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:55, Reply)
Might be me then...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Roota 4eva in r hearts.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Don't die Roota.
Not before your nan anyway. She'll be livid.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)
She'd gimme a boss send-off though.
She'd get someone ace to lay me out like Snow White in her coffin, and my family would be like the mournful dwarves.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)
That's no way to talk about your father

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Me and him are the tall ones

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:03, Reply)
I died first, remember?
Everyone always forgets me. *sobs*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)
*remembers*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)
B3th wanted me to have AIDS
Now you want me to die as well.

I know where I'm not wanted.

(sniffs, puts meagre belongings in tied snotrag on stick and shuffles off.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)
So am I
Means more to me than you, I expect.

Had my autumn phlegm week last week.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)
Well yeah it would be odd if I was more mindful of your health than you were,
especially as I'm so dozy.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:57, Reply)
You know
it's a good job we're not planning to reproduce. Our collective genepools are not exactly what you'd call great.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)
I'm totally pregnant

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)
I shall be the coollest auntie ever!
I'm totally buying it a drumkit.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Epilepsy
As long as I take the lolmeds it's fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:08, Reply)
My first proper girlfriend's mum was epileptic.
We were driving over to town to go shopping like we always did on a Saturday, she turned around in the front seat and stared straight at me and started going all spastic. Freaked me the fuck out it did.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:14, Reply)

I have asked my wife to video the next seizure I have. I don't have a clue what happens and really want to know. Should be hilarious to watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Could be a youtube sensation : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:30, Reply)
Stick it over some breakbeats.
Excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:34, Reply)
I feel compelled to hang around now
Just to apologise to people like you.

I have been trite, and glib.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:21, Reply)
You shouldn't apologise
We all have the right to moan about stuff. And after all, we're so good at it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Nah bollocks. It's fine.
Could have something a hell of a lot worse.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Evening.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Evening squire.
Thanks for your text. Details due noted.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:28, Reply)
That reminds me
Thank you for gaz. The file I need is on my other computer, so I'll send it to you as soon as I get it turned on.
And thank you again, and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:30, Reply)
My pleasure
Am in Oxford this week and online very little so it will be a few days until I can look at it.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:34, Reply)
hey! how about we all discuss the
condition/disease we'd like least. Ebola would be nasty
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Total bollocks.
/ac Don't go comparing your problems to other people's, unless it helps. Just feel shit about it and have a better day tomorrow.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:26, Reply)
It's all relative innit.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Oh don't bring relatives in to it FFS.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:32, Reply)
I had surgery and that
apart from the odd twinge though I'm much better than I was. Oh and my shoulder is knackered from coming off my motorbike when I was 17, then persistently playing rugby and tennis despite it hurting.
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:26, Reply)
^ NAILS

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Innit.
seriously, three years ago you'd have properly shat yourself if you'd spotted me in a dark alleyway.
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:31, Reply)
You were a rotavirus?

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:33, Reply)
If I were a virus
I'd be a togavirus. Just because they sound silly.
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:34, Reply)
HORSE BRAINS

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:43, Reply)
they enjoy roman around your body

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Oh lol
Not seen you about for a bit, hows things?
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:45, Reply)
In keeping with this thread I'm a little blargh
is probably the best way to describe it. How are things going at Oxford?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Meh, I know how you feel
Oxford is good, I really like it there, but it's hard work. How's your dissertation coming along?
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:49, Reply)
Whereas Gonz will read this tomorrow and wonder why you've got Goat AIDS.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I jumped off a crane!
Well, technically, I was pushed off a crane. But I'm nails too. Not as hard as Amberl, obviously, but harder than Darth.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:32, Reply)
TD says sorry for whinging.
Bookmark this post - TD has never apologised before.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:33, Reply)
Haha
b3ta.com/search/posts/31418?q=sorry
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Nicely done.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:48, Reply)
Maybe I have then
I am abject.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:50, Reply)
hahaha!
Busted!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Fuck me - this pulls up gazzes too!
I've had a spin through and there's nothing I feel bad about.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 20:59, Reply)
No it doesn't.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:19, Reply)
um, congratulations on not being dead
I have an underactive thyroid. Also, I think I have a case of self-diagnosed dyspraxia (that's the one where you trip over your own feet, right?)

oh, and I'm a cock
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:01, Reply)
How was bow and arrow club?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:03, Reply)
pretty cool
I'm not great at it yet, but my draw is improving
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:12, Reply)
What are you on now... Gold seal?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:13, Reply)
i don't even know what that is...a type of beer?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:15, Reply)
What about squidgy black?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:17, Reply)
um
i eat a proper amount of fibre, so no
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I have overactive parathyroids.
They're near your thyroid but fuck all to do with it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:17, Reply)
what do they do then?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Controls calcium, bone health and well-being.
Some say it affects fat storage and I've certainly lost a stone since they put me on cholecalciferol to up my vit D and calcium levels and stop the parathyroids going berserk.

I think that's what caused my mum's gastric problems and osteoporosis but it's too late for her I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Controls calcium?
You need milk.
Urrugh!
It's what Ian Rush drinks.
Ian Rush?
Yeah, and he said that if I didn't drink lots of milk, I'd only be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.
Accrington Stanley.... Who are they?!?!?!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:27, Reply)
EXACTLY!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:27, Reply)
*awards Cavy 3 retro points*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:28, Reply)
ooo, I could crush a grape

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Shh! I'm busy test driving a tonka.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:30, Reply)
We don't seem to absorb Rushie's cowjuice.
Totally served the eggzackly lad his breakfast once
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Did he have milk?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:29, Reply)
Lager and a brekky
He was with Gruey
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:31, Reply)
No way! Did you ask Gruey if he was surprised when his dad grew up to the Fitz?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:34, Reply)
You're the only person who knows Gruey

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:37, Reply)
What about the follow-up series
Gruey Two-ey
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Aye

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:51, Reply)
I remember one epsiode when he accidentally spray-painted his dads car.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:40, Reply)
I think I have both of thse too
but that's just me being fat and spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:18, Reply)
thyroid buddies!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:19, Reply)
*Goes hyper*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:20, Reply)
*slumps*
*falls asleep*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:21, Reply)
*Steals dog*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:22, Reply)
For awful sexual purposes.

(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Of course.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:24, Reply)
*wakes up*
*calls RSPCA*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Does the dog - like - consent?
Does it wag it's tail a bit?
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:26, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:27, Reply)
He is, quite possibly, the happiest dog in the world.
Right now he's having a little nap after an hour's good play. I think we had about seven different toys out of the toybox. I really must teach him to put them away again when he's finished with them.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:31, Reply)
I'd raise you Bootsy and Mr Brown
Who did five miles with me this morning and are very pleased.
(I helped save b3ta! The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:34, Reply)
I was one of you
but then I drank a radioactive concoction and became SUPER CAVY! wait...no...
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:22, Reply)
They've offered it to me, but I'm going to give the current meds another year and see if things settle down.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:23, Reply)
yeah, I had those
they worked for about 6 months after I stopped taking them then it went superfast again. 2nd time I didn't have the helpful side effect of losing weight, either :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:26, Reply)
I really wish you wouldn't do yourself down so
I didn't get to go to pierbash but consensus is you're awesome, so stop it.
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Welll you certainly didn't hear THAT from me.
only joking b3th, you're awesome
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:28, Reply)
aw, shucks.
You'll be at the next one, though, right?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Maybe we could get you to go a bit further away than WsM?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:29, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:31, Reply)
I'm not allowed to cross the road on my own.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:31, Reply)
You went all the way to America. Surely you can get to Bristol?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:32, Reply)
I think I could probably manage that ; )

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:33, Reply)
*Sings*
When you gooooo, will ya send bach, a letter from the cider-boat....
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Lol

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:34, Reply)
*WAVES*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:35, Reply)
*WAVES MORE*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:35, Reply)
*Waves and sticks thumbs up*
But not like The Fonz, but like the mongs on 'We Are The Champions - SPECIAL' as hosted by Ron Pickering.

AWAY YOU GO! (veg soup joke optional)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:37, Reply)
I prefer it's a knockout.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:37, Reply)
If you don't edit this, then I'm confused.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:38, Reply)
I knew we'd get there in the end!
Remember the 'Royal Family' special?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:38, Reply)
Oh God! vaguely.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Well we could send Amberl down to make sure you don't get in any trouble.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:32, Reply)
I certainly hope so
I believe there is a Bristol/cider bash in the offing once the weather's improved a little, and I'm fully up for that.
(berk, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:37, Reply)
What you need, is a Bristolian to organise it.
I suggest CHCB.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:39, Reply)
What's to organize?
Book a weekend, choose a pub to meet at and it's done.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I was being a dafty Blousie.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I should have guessed : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:42, Reply)
and make sure it's a half term or something
at least a weekend not a bloody friday, like some gits did for the last one
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:42, Reply)
Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:45, Reply)
yeah
well, if you didn't want me to come, you just had to say
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:46, Reply)
You could get to Bristol on a Friday night you spaz.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:49, Reply)
not a friday daytime, though

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:50, Reply)
True.
I'll check out the 'What's on 2012' guide and suggest a good weekend for carnage.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Maybe we could make her feel good about her sexuality by having a threesome? I think it would be a theaputic experiance for all concerned, especially the people watching the video i'll upload.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:46, Reply)
Did anyone say anything about sexuality?
No, I didn't think so.
You, Sir, are a sweaty-palmed sex pest.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:47, Reply)
Best of all the sex pests.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:49, Reply)
He gets away with it because he's cute
Or he was cute. You know, before he became proper badass and started calling people cunts and totally meaning it.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:52, Reply)
Won't your camera work be a bit shaky?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:50, Reply)
You quendering bummers.
This thread has passed the point of ever decreasing returns, much like DJ Shadow's recording career since 2003.

Noo thred is up in da HOUSE.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:46, Reply)

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