You know what I hate?
The Bob Marley doughnuts joke. I really fucking hate it. It isn't remotely funny.

What you you really fucking hate?

Alt: what are you doing this weekend? As ever, unless you are a bulldyke with a strapon, a reply relating to my mother shall be exposed as an unamusing lie INSTANTLY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:27, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
He doesn't, he's a fucking dead stoner played incessently in student halls up and down the country in lieu of actually getting out there and discovering any real fucking music.

That one, you mean?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:29, Reply)

And one of the shittest reggae artists ever.
Worse even than Pato Banton.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Someone like Toots Hibbert deserves 50 times the plaudits granted to that little turd.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I firmly believe that 'Informer' by 'Snow' is better than anything Bob Marley recorded.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Even with his leaky bum bum?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

'leaky'!
That makes a lot more sense than 'I lick yer bum bum there', which is what I thought it was.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Something down the lane
I think
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Oh fucking come off it
thats bollocks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

OK that last one is a slight lie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

accepted
I would have let you have Jimmy Cliff or Bunny Lee though
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Christ, it's like Old Git Corner in here.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Pint of your usual?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Gin? Oh go on then.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Oh man are you gonna be drinking neat gin on monday?
I'm gonna be more relaxed because we don't have to go to court on tuesday any more.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I was not aware of a court issue!
No, I am going to be well behaved on Monday.
100% FACT.
( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I was hoping we could make you angry
and you could punch Monty right in his senile face.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Silly BFF - I don't need to be angry for that.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I really fucking hate quite a lot
but right now, for some reason, the thing that gets on my wick more than almost anything else, is that fucking Ray Winstone Bet365 Advert.

Alt: The usual, football, cinema, walking. I'm a creature of habit.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

ature of habit tin
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi' Jammin.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

How would you like a shoe in the fucking mouth you KHANT?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Does it have Jam in?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

That's how he likes them.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

He hopes you like jam in too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

clikin' dis

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

That's congealed menses, not jam.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I fucking hate not sleeping, Eastenders, chavs, running out of wine,carrot cake (wtf?),
my back, Fosters and bamboo shoots.

Alt:
I am off to a 5 year old's birthday party on Saturday, then off out for a curry. I will be celebrating my 37th birthday on Sunday with a carvery lunch and bumming your father
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Happy birthday young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Thank you kindly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Are you only 37? I assumed you were more like Montys age.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Give or take 400 days I am Monty's age

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I know, I was joking about Monty being incredibly old.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

The important part is that he is older than me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

He's senile and a bellend too.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

*shrugs*
Fair cop, guv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

*shrugs*
Fair cop, guv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Squeeze is a fair cop too!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Great seats

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

*shrugs*
Fair cop, guv.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

This means I am less than a year younger than Monty.
Fuck.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

You might as well.
You'll be too old for it very soon.
( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:52, Reply)

oh man I didn't realise you were being mean in here
I was still loitering in the other thread
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I wondered where you were!
I hope you were being mean over there - it's more effective if we can divide our skilz.
( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I was planning revenge in the name of Al

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

She totally got my back BFF.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I really fucking hate banks at the moment.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Oh Al!
You need to cheque yourself, before you riggedy-wreck yourself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Dammit, if only I knew that this morning before I left the house.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I kind of really love that joke.
I hate reading. And books. And complex arguments. I am dumb.

Alt: Reading and research. Funnest of fun times. Life is pretty boring at the moment.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I'd give my right bollock to spend my days in reading and research.
Not the left one though, I'm rather fond of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Comparison of themes in Prudentius and Augustine?
Or an investigation into the holistic aspects of Hippocratic medicine?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I would tackle both with delight.
rather than my cretinous job.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Hey,
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi' Jammin!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'GNORIN' IN THE NAME OF THE LAAAARD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

for me its the other way around, ol lefty just hangs too low
sorry lefty :(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

hate jsut ain't my style mate
and i am a bulldyke with a strapon
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I don't know that joke.
I'm sure it's something about "jamming" jam-in though.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

HOW DOES BOB MARLEY LIKES HIS DOUGHNUTS?
with cancer, injected by the FBI of course
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

manipuronline.com/Potpourri/February02/bobmarley08_1.htm
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Sadly you are right.
Bum-AIDS is funnier. Much funnier.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm going to put it as my facebook status,
and see how many likes I get.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

If I was your facebook friend I'd click "like"
But I'm not and am unlikely to ever be so I won't. But please add one to your total when you feedback to Monty on how it went.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Ok, taking that psuedo like into account my total likes is now
*drum roll*

1
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

YEAH!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I hate breasts

( WormuIus, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

You don't belong here.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'm afraid you're wronger than Goatworrier fisting a shit-soaked vole.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Sorry I meant to type
I like breasts
( WormuIus, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

For the first time in years I'm actually ill
I fucking hate being ill. I'm having strong words with my immune system, cunt that it is.

So therefore I shall be taking drugs and spending the weekend in bed, but not in a good way in either case.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I reckon most people on here never leave their beds
and that the beds in question are fused with their fatty, distended, globular bodies.

If you were to put all of OT in a room it would look like someone had melted chewing-gum over an ikea.
( WormuIus, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I think that's more likely to be /QOTW

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

They do this
because they can afford more than one pillow, unlike you, dole-bludging parasite that you are.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

The irony of my posting this is quite breathtaking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

a full 10 kilospoons.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Its not a question of being able to afford pillows
I just don't want more than one. One is enough.
( WormuIus, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Suprisingly, you are correct.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Well, unless you have a partner or guests.
Then you may need some more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

No, I have one pillow
and my tailor takes it in when I have guests. He's a member of a union though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

This seems like it should make sense
if you looked at it the right way.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Oh Al.
Your tailor has to let out pillows when you have guests. Honestly.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Oh man, no wonder all my guests hate me and have stiff necks.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

It's an etiquette minefield, I know.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Surprisingly, your spelling isn't.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

OHMYGODIMADEASPELLINGMISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ever so glad you were here to point it out rather than asking swipe to send you pictures of her breasts.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Oh Alan, you do make me LOL.
Your frenzied chasing of Swipey around the board is most amusing. I take it that at some point she rebuffed your cock gaz?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1456169
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

However in this instance, it looks fairly straightforward.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

In much the same way as you look like a sex pest
It's all about how deeply you look into these things.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I'm a sex pest? Did you forget to log back in as Quenders?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

You think I'm quentin?
That's kind of insulting.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

I'm a sex pest?
That's kind of insulting.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I'm pretty sure he meant it to be.
Being a sex pest isn't something to be proud of, and if you don't like it, don't be a sex pest. It's quite easy, like quitting smoking.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Perhaps you could provide me with some evidence of where I've been a sex pest?
Take your time.

And if you don't like being compared to Quenders, stop acting like a helmet. It's quite easy, like quitting smoking.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I love this
It's quite obvious that you fancy me. I'm not gay, but it's a nice feeling when someone fancies you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:53, Reply)

This says far more about you than it does about me.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Does it really? Are you sure about that?
Because, fair enough, you've cleverly repeated my jokes back at me in a very witty manner, but when I point out that you following me around the internet being rude is just clearly you expressing your very sexual feeling towards me this is somehow saying something about me?

I'm not the person having sexual feeling towards a man on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:57, Reply)

and yet
you love to pounce on what i post, and if you see quentin or cancertwat having a go, you cream yourself to join in. but i am preeeeetty sure you would deny that "following me around the internet being rude is just clearly you expressing your very sexual feeling towards me".

oh al.

why is it always always "do as i say, not as i do" with you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:02, Reply)

You've misunderstood.
I don't think that being rude to someone on the internet is a way of expressing your love for them, but Fister has repeatedly accused me of this, so, since he's been really clever in turning my comments back on me I just did the same.

There is a some of sarcasm in this post, and in all my previous posts, I wonder if you can spot it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

that would mean reading more than 1 word in every 6
and you and your life are just not that interesting.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Oh LOL.
I'm following you around the board? You may not have noticed this Alan, but this is a discussion board. One topic is discussed, and then another, etc. You follow a discussion, and contribute as you feel is necessary.

However, as you have proven yourself to be something of a helmet in a number of your responses to me (I'm unsure why), I spotted your spelling mistake whilst following a discussion, and took the piss out of it.

What's really funny about your reply is that you frequently chase Swipey round the board like a border collie after a tennis ball.

Now MTFU.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Oh LOL
'm following you around the board? You may not have noticed this Fister, but this is a discussion board. One topic is discussed, and then another, etc. You follow a discussion, and contribute as you feel is necessary.

What's really funny about your reply is that you frequently chase Swipey round the board like an internet white knighter white knighting a girl with breasts whos breasts you want to see a photo of.
Now MTFU.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Oh Al, you're just being silly now.
I didn't accuse you of following me around the board. I accused you of following Swipey, as she has herself confirmed above.

I respond to her posts no more regularly than I respond to anyone else's, but you seem to take great delight in hounding her around the board.

Now you guys might have some personal history of which I am unaware, but the exchanges that I've seen between the two of you do not leave you in a positive light.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Oh Fister, you're just being silly now.
You may not have noticed this Fister, but this is a discussion board. One topic is discussed, and then another, etc. You follow a discussion, and contribute as you feel is necessary.

I respond to her posts no more regularly than I respond to anyone else's. You may have noticed I post on here quite a lot, I spend a lot of time posting in response to Monty, I frequently call him senile and a bellend. Because he is senile. And a bellend.

Now you guys (I'm talking about you and swipe here) might have some personal history of which I am unaware, but the exchanges that I've seen between the two of you do not leave you in a positive light. Because they make you look like a sex pest.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Well I'd love to spend longer exploring your mental illness Alan, but I've got other things to do
Toodle pip.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I'd love to spend longer talking to you too Fister, but you've decided to go somewhere else.
I hope you have a lovely friday night and get to sleep with a girl 18 inches from your friend.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

what IS silly, is how you have no problem with appearing like a socially retarded inept cunt
and yet you think being a "sexpest" is a fate worse than death.

not that i am saying fister is a sexpest. but i AM saying you can appear like a socially retarded inept cunt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

But Swipe, as you never tire of saying to me
You've never met me! It's always do as you say, not as you do isn't it.

*shakes head sadly*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

nope, not really
it's "in admittedly a rather mean-spirited way, repeat what other people have said about what al is like in person" with me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Oh swipe, I never would have believed you were a massive hypocrite.
Well, I believed you were massive. But not a hypocrite. Now all my dreams are shattered.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:42, Reply)

You ate your other one in lieu of bread.
ADMIT IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

well he was biting it
I dont know if that counts as eating...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I went to school with a boy called Bulldyke Strapon.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I'll be honest here
you didn't, did you? Isn't your roller coaster rock and roll life in the music business enough without these ONLINE LIES, hmmmmm?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

He failed all his GCSEs but I think he went on to do a plastering apprenticeship, so he's minted now.
Just goes to show, academic achievement isn't everything.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

His dad was CEO of Stark Enterprises for a while.
But he got locked up for buggering Bulldyke.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

It's the stress of trying to keep M alive that does it.
I'm not sure what's real and what isn't anymore.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Hold it together, man.
It'll be worth it when you're snorting coke off supermodel's tits in Vegas.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Never. Again.
Reagan could barely walk after last time.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I really fucking hate nPower
conned I tell you. Bastards.

ALT: off to see Duran Duran tonight then quality time with dog at weekend. Hopefully get a shag at some stage.
EDIT: not from the dog...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

It's that or one of Duran Duran, so you're probably better off with the dog.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

^very much this

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
On a tram.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

He was a terrible racist.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Bloody American 'donuts'...
coming over here, interfering with our rings.
( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Clendrix, do you mind if I put this here? It's not relevant, but I'm quite pleased with it:

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I don't believe this...
Costner actually looks like he's acting.
( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Nah.
He's just acting like he's acting.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Somewhat unconvincingly, if you ask me.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Well Balders, apart from the Costnery bits, this is a delight to look at.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:24, Reply)

It's a real article, you know.
From a real magazine who really interviewed my real band's real band member.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I refer you to the last frame on page 40 of your book.

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Whazzat?

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I really fucking hate feeling ill
also long journeys, job centre people, marzipan and easily broken perfume bottles.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I hate people.
On a train or on a tram, I really could not give a damn.
At a bus stop or near a gate, it really is people that I hate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

But I reserve the most abuse
For those who paraphrase Dr Seuss
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Crow!
Que pasa?

I trust you are well?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Yeah, not bad thanks old chap.
How's your good self?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Well, sir. Thanks for asking.
Just about to show a couple of laydeez about the town. That'll be nice for them. One of my patented City tours. (pub crawl)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Pubs AND laydeez?
Sounds good to me.
(City pub crawl? Any particular notable boozers?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

The Swan, Jamaica Inn, The Counting House and George and Vulture.
Which are, in order, smallest, one of the oldest, premises of an original counting house that still has it's dome and where Dickens is said to have written Pickwick Papers.

Tourist sights for out of towners.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

The Swan is that tiny Fuller's pub tucked into an alleyway, isn't it?
Counting House rings a bell as well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Spot on.
Counting House is also Fullers on Cornhill.

We might have a pie-off in there.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Careful,
if Al hears any mention of pastry in conjunction with beer and laydeez, you'll be stalked round EC1 by a bearded version of the Michelin Man
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Haha.
They do multiple filling mini pies that one can fit in one's gob in one go!

Marvellous!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Oh Crow
that was uncalled for.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Sorry, you can tell I've been away for a while
Are "fat al" jokes a bit outmoded these days?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Not at all
It's just mean. I thought we were friends.

Of course, by logic of the internet this does mean that you fancy me.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:01, Reply)

In the office or at home,
reading short posts or a tome,
on internet fast or slow,
the man I click the most...Crow.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I like to eat
To eat a sweet
To eat a pie
Or hunk of meat
I like to chew
And later poo
Any type of lovely food
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Crawly Bumlick

( thealternativefact, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

That doesn't rhyme!
Silly Clenders.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Crawly Bumlick
Hoppy frog.
Dirty filthy racist wog.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha!
Thanks for that. I am wiping coffee from my workstation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Wasn't that a Prefab Sprout lyric?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Nice 'Informer' lyric there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I hate whatever radio station the gonks in the office have on.
What's with all the songs about Mick Jagger? I have been enjoying Absolute 60s this week despite their advert that thinks that 'no Beatles = no Oasis, no Rolling Stones = no Kings of Leon' is a good way of promoting sixties music.

Alt: One of our bigger clients offered us a table at their Xmas do tomorrow night. Free food and not having to watch X Factor? Oh, go on then.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Well, if you're an arthritic old lech
then you probably truly do have the moves like Jagger.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

If we take said advert at its word,
it's quite sobering to think what the world might have been spared if Mummy and Daddy Chapman had pushed the boat out and bought their son Mark a gun for christmas 18 years earlier.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

*looks wistully out of the window*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I've just had to turn on my air conditioner
as I left my radiator on full for too long.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Silly Al
I hear you now have a shiny towel rail?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I will do once your driver turns up :)

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

He said he's already delivered it!?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Really?
Oh, I'll go and see if it's in reception.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:49, Reply)

If not I'll have to go beat him with a large wooden spoon

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:50, Reply)

It's alright, no beating is required
my helpful reception person obviously just told him to leave it out the front where anyone could have nicked it rather than walking the twenty yards down the hallway to give it to me in person.

Thanks TGB! I'm the happiest towel rail owner in the world!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

HUZZAH!
Christmas has indeed come early for you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I just emailed that joke to a girl,
now she's not replying.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Chomponimous Bosch!
Give me three words for dinner which aren't dinner!
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

tea
supper
meal
(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Can I play?
Supper
Tea
Refection
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:44, Reply)

I'm sure you can instantly see why Chompalina is considered a master of this art
and people like us will only ever be amateurs.
He's neat.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Yes. Yes I can.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Everyone else is shit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Nosh
nommynoms
yumyums
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Banquet
repast
feast
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

breakfast
lunch
lunch 2: lunch HARDER
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:59, Reply)

I fucking hate christmas this year.
Stick your good cheer up your arse and squat.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

*ticks mark off presents list*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

And good riddance.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I was going to get him some outdoor shoes too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:50, Reply)

he'd have no use for them

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:02, Reply)

It's true, I have no legs :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:05, Reply)

did you see that telly program about bionic limbs other day?
Legs 2: Legs Harder
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Did it have Steven Segal in it?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

no that doctor guy from the one show was on it, they had legs that worked better tahn real legs and stuff
it wasn't a film
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Did they interview Jean Claude Van Damme?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

no i don't think he has any bionic limbs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Shame
Kickboxer would have been twice as awesome if he had steel legs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

yeah but they would have needed a sub plot to explain where the technology came from
think it through superfly, THINK IT THROUGH
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

This is why I'm not a hollwood scriptwriter.
I'd be rubbish at it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:40, Reply)

plus you ent a jew

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:46, Reply)

I found it a bit of a drag.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:25, Reply)

That's a crawl joke.
(I MEAN CRUEL)
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:26, Reply)

what about taht film with russel brand playing a rabbit?
Hop?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:27, Reply)

What's MMPS's favourite type of tea?
AMPU-TEA!
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I'm trying to think of more jokes but I am STUMPED.

(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

whats his favourite will smith film?
I am LEG-END
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:31, Reply)

and his favourite michael douglas one?
FALLING DOWN
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

This is brilliant.
Some of your best work.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:32, Reply)

whats his favourite song?
Legs by ZZ Top
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Happy Feet 2: Happy Feeter

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:37, Reply)

I don't hate nuffink
so fuck you all you whiny old men with your colds and your winging.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:56, Reply)