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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I started a thread the yesterday and no one really cared about the question
so, um just talk about you sex life/lack of sex life, exciting things you're doing this weekend/exciting things you aren't doing this weekend, what a shit day you had/what a great day you had.

oh and btw, Rory is a wuss and won't start threads. Bet he'll say something mean on this one, though
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:51, 137 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Too many options there, I'm overwhelmed.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:54, Reply)
Okay, let's limit this.
First of all, do you have a sex life?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:56, Reply)
Why would you need to know?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:57, Reply)
i don't think he does, he already
stalks you and rumages through your bins. Just small talk, you know?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:00, Reply)
I'm asking on behalf of Cavy.
She's a women who isn't getting any penis at the moment, so she probably wants to know in case it's worth her going for you.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:01, Reply)
oi!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:01, Reply)
Yeah but if he was hot
would you let him rub his winky on your boobies?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:09, Reply)
for a small price

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:23, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:25, Reply)
8===D + ( . Y . ) = \o/

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:29, Reply)
OK well
did you have a nice day today? yes/no
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:56, Reply)
Not really. You?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:57, Reply)
no
busy, didn't get a cup of tea, pissed someone off by accident, came home.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)
I hope he does
Rory saying mean things is the oxygen that keeps me going.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:55, Reply)
will you say something mean back?
that would be best. I am undulating at the very thought of it
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:55, Reply)
I have just denied man made climate change as a conspiracy on QOTW.
Advisable?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:55, Reply)
fuck off freefair.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:08, Reply)
*Copy'n'paste from the new thread I posted and deleted*
I went by the posh cheese shop across the road from work and got some cheese called "Langeres" that I got a few weeks ago and LOVED, and one called banon which I donno is any good but hopefully and a jar of truffle bits that I'll turn into truffle honey for seeing Clendrix on boxing day and family on christmas day and myself for today day... to have with the cheese. And some really artisan bread. And then I wanted some french onion soup but none of the shops I went into had, but when I walked out of Tesco I heard someone shout "JAYDA !!!!" followed by a georgous white labrador jumping up at me, with a very pretty owner who I should have gotten talking to longer than a few seconds. And I got to see the future train on the way home too. I think there is a new eppisode of Terra Nova to watch and I'll have a nice bath maybe possibly. I have a little bit of sushi to have that I didn't eat for lunch too, which will be quite pleasent while I ponder weather it's worth making my own onion soup tonight or not... probably not, I almost feel asleep at my desk today. I finished all the work I was supposed to finish this week, which was good. God, I miss linebreaks.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:58, Reply)
How the hell do I turn an average trip home from work into an adventure ?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)
I don't know, but I wish I could do that.
I, OH FUCK, i've just remembered I've left my towel rail in the van. Bollocks. And it's raining and I'm comfy on the sofa under a blanket.

Gonz, can you come over and get the keys from next door and then I'll give you the van keys and you can go and get the towel rail and bring it back?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:03, Reply)
why do you need a towel rail so badly?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:04, Reply)
It's more that it's left in the back of a van down the road, rather than safe in my house.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:09, Reply)
As long as theres a sign on the back
saying "No towels are left in this van overnight" you'll be fine.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:29, Reply)
I went and got it,
There are some cunts round my way.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Is it one of those towel rails that also are bathroom heaters? I love those, I want one now.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:06, Reply)
You should talk to TGB before she leaves her job
She totally got me an awesome deal on ours and it got delivered to my office today.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:08, Reply)
It's going to be to late by then, can you show me a picture of your one so I don't embarass you by getting the exact same one on the same night.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:12, Reply)
It's 500x1600, curved, and chrome.
I've not unwrapped yet.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:13, Reply)
How are you going to attach it to the plumbing?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:16, Reply)
The plumber will be doing that.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:21, Reply)
Is he a proper plumber like the queen?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)
Yeah, he's just like the queen.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
Oh good, I love those corgies.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)
I'm sat on the train going ooop north.
I booked my seat on coach G. Got on the train and there is no coach G. Grrrrrrr. Also the coach I am now sitting in has lights that keep going on and off and we may have broke down :((
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:32, Reply)
Are you going to go and see amazing poeple?
I wish you all lived in london.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:34, Reply)
I am :)
If I ever get there.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:36, Reply)
Are you lot coming down to london at all again this year?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Yes.. For Clendrix birhday.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:39, Reply)
whats the date for that again?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:45, Reply)
End of December.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:52, Reply)
I'm not 100% sure I can make it, I might be moving that day if its on the day I think its on.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
:((

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:21, Reply)
Can you post the b4sh pictures please?
That seems to have stopped recently and I miss living my b4shlife vicariously
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:42, Reply)
Don't forget to wear the paper bags, I'd like to keep my breakfast down

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:43, Reply)
and there it is!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:48, Reply)
I briefly considered boycotting this thread, but couldn't help myself

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:49, Reply)

help touch
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:57, Reply)
:))
This is not a bash. Just chilling with friends.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:52, Reply)
It's a microbash
anywhere where b3tans gather together is a bash of some description.

Mondays hot meat injection evening is a bash. But no cunts are invited.

If you were in London you would have been invited.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 19:58, Reply)
And I would have attended : D

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:04, Reply)
We might all have taken it in turns to spill our hot sauce on you.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
Lol
Tandori bukkake!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:07, Reply)
I imagine that would be considerably more painful
if it got in your eye.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:10, Reply)
You'd better make sure you aim at my boobs then.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:13, Reply)
Meeting a few friends in Oxford tomorrow
should be nice. My sex life is the same status as it has been in the last few months
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Mainly digital?
You see that's funny because it could be interpreted as fingers or online.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:01, Reply)
Very funny Chompy

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Oh that was uncalled for.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
'few months' ? MONTHS? FEW MONTHS ?
You lucky cow.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:05, Reply)
I no rite Gonz!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:08, Reply)
That is what is called a slight underexaggeration
I'm waiting til I'm slim and fit*

*taking up celibacy in other words
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:09, Reply)
I still think you're hot stuff.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:11, Reply)
I thought of a really funny joke to say to Crow the other day
it was something to do with wanking over you, but I can't remember what it was no.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Fantastic. I'm so flattered.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)
Your welcome.
Hope your work goes well.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I hope so too.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Something has been really pissing me off for the last few days, I used to know a insult/joke...
... where the punchline was "Look it up, it's in the dictionary between something and something, they call it syphilis". I can't remember the something and something though.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:17, Reply)
check in a dictionary

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)
YES ! FOUND IT.
I'm now going to wait until the right moment. Can someone post an OH WOE IS ME post please.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:22, Reply)
Oh fuck, I wish I used this the other day when I called that guy a cunt.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:23, Reply)
Oh I'm so sad
I just reached for the bathroom door handle and I caught my nail on the door frame and I've split it in half and it's bleeding.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:24, Reply)
If you're looking sympathy, then you won't find it here. Perhaps you'll find it in the dictionary somewhere between shit and syphilis.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:25, Reply)
Ha ha
That's quite good.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
I've been slim and fit once. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:12, Reply)
yeah? well I'm waiting for
someone who won't expect payment
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:12, Reply)
You and I should totally go on the pull.
It would be hilarious in our ineptitude :)
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:15, Reply)
haha, yeah
I'd just go hide under a chair, or dance horribly embarrassingly until everyone pretended I wasn't there
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)
I'd get horribly drunk and attempt to snog everyone.
And throw up on my shoes.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:23, Reply)
this sounds like excellent fun

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:25, Reply)
It does rather :)

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Off now. Not long till I arrive.
Have a nice weekend :)
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:28, Reply)
have a great time
hope you have spare shoes
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I would love to be on the other side of the bar watching this.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Oh Amberl, but then you'll have standards and i'll have no chance what so ever !

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:16, Reply)
You should pop down to Bristol and see her while she's still dieting.
Then, maybe if you show her a good time you'll get one last sympathy bone once she's down to her target weight.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:28, Reply)
The trouble is right, if I do her while she's fat, it's all fair, I won't know any difference. But then when she knocks off the pounds and I still get a go...
... then it'll put a downer on the previous times I've done her 'cus I'll think that I should have waited until she wasn't an ugly mess.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:33, Reply)
But at the moment she's all got stuff to grab hold of
and if she loses weight her massive jugs might slim down, and that would be a fucking tragedy.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:35, Reply)
I guess I could call it a favour-fuck, you know, one of those fucks you give to give her a bit of self esteem to sort her mess out.
HOW THE HELL DOES THIS TACTIC WORK ON PEOPLE? Seriously, this is probably one of the most vile things I've ever said, and I've seen people speak like this and get laid loads of times.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:45, Reply)
Ask Swipe
seems to work a lot with her.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:48, Reply)
I thought she only went for affluent flamboyants.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:55, Reply)
It's alright Gonz
I've got pretty good self esteem and standards. No-one off the internet has a chance
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
Sad Times.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:55, Reply)
Well in that case there's probably no point in meeting you at Download next year.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Haha, is that a code word, you gets down and she gets the load.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:59, Reply)
GNAH, I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF PEOPLE ON THE TV ON SHOWS LIKE "COME DINE WITH ME" WHEN THEY BASICLY COPY A DISH THAT I'M DOING AND TRYING TO LOOK ORIGIONAL.
Someone is doing scallops on a pea pureƩ and THATS MY DISH, AND ITS NOT AS WELL.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)
They're fucking cunts that's why Gonz.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:26, Reply)
People are going to think I saw it on the telly and thought "Oh, that's a good idea". I don't mind if it's one or two ingredients, but when it's the whole dish, it really pisses me off...
... Chris Evens was doing deep-fried stuffed pasta the other week and I swear I did that ages ago.

I think for christmas I'm going to do honey/chili/rosmery butternut squash mash with scallops on top instead now. Maybe with some toasted pine-nuts.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:31, Reply)
for fucks sake Gonz
stop posting your ideas where celebrity chefs can see them!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Sad Times

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:15, Reply)
quandry!
I have a shit load of port, I quite fancy some booze. HOwever it has to be drunk within 2 weeks of opening and I'm not sure port is for guzzling (except from the bottle in a field at 3am dressed as a pirate).

is it port time? I don't want to accidentally get portfever when I have a lot of work to do tomorrow
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I ignore those "drink/consume/eat within X days/weeks/months" because I'm hardcore
It has of course meant I've eaten mould on occasion. I blame Crow for a lot of these.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:32, Reply)
You swallowed something mouldy of Crow's?
/Gonorheaspunklolz
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:34, Reply)
He made me a cup of tea with white lumps in :(
(true story. He doesn't believe in milk expiry dates...)
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Can he not smell anything?
Mouldy milk is one of the few smells that really makes me feel ill.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Either he's trying to kill me or he had a cold at the time.
It was deeply unpleasant.

I still think he's ace, though.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:42, Reply)
He is isn't he.
I like his lovely hair.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:50, Reply)
It's a bit mulletish at the moment :(

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
still?
blimey
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:50, Reply)
This is even after he fed me undercooked meat.
Though he puts up with me being crazy. So we're even I guess.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:52, Reply)
port is not the same from a glass
also, not the same as when you're already drunk and someone's passing a bottle round of it. I'm not sure I'm as fond of port as I thought
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:50, Reply)
Have cheese with it

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:54, Reply)
I love port

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 20:57, Reply)
Because it is a delicious delicious drink

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:14, Reply)
it is getting nicer as I drink it

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:02, Reply)
It's always port o'clock. Fact.
Why the quandry?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Sex life: suggested to 2ndmrsblaireau69 that she phone in sick today. That was all it took.
Spent the rest of the day fucking and playing video games. At least until we needed to leave the house at 3:10pm to collect weeblaireau from school.
Fabtastic!
Don't bother your arse about RL and his bullshit. That's all it/he is. Static.
I've yet to encounter anything on the interweb less capable of positive input.
And so lacking in imagination too.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Have you met Quentin yet?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:50, Reply)
I have observed.
However, from personal experience I would stand by my previous statement.
At least QO is amusing.
With RL it's ALWAYS the same shit. Every fucking time.
But I do get your point!
;)
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:54, Reply)
was briefly confused
I thought RL was Real Life. Makes it more existential
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:51, Reply)
I don't think RL exists IRL, if you catch my drift?
How's your fettle?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 21:55, Reply)
the RL system is a totally broken gaming system
I think my fettle is fine, but I've not checked in on it for some time.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:01, Reply)
Good gracious.
He is sullying my eyes with his bragging of despicable acts.

You are gorging yourself on fortified wine like some godless vagrant.

What den of iniquity is this?
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:06, Reply)
and I just drank port using my RIGHT HAND!

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Can't you afford glasses in Wales then?

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:09, Reply)
yeah, but they are made of slate

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:17, Reply)
An intruiging concept
Which I'm not about to expound on as it's my bedtime.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:32, Reply)
I made two slate "glasses" about fifteen years ago, well more goblets really.
Very hard work, it were. Not as successful as I might have liked :(
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:32, Reply)
What's wrong with that?
You just have to pass it to the left, not drink with the left hand
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:36, Reply)
This is OT motherfluffer.
The horror!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:12, Reply)
Well I know it's not Links
But have a go on this fucker.

link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid72518865001?bckey=AQ~~,AAAAAFSL1bg~,CmS1EFtcMWH6elrIuLojlkMF3t-h_6Ra&bclid=0&bctid=1292080609001
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Yeah, that's a good one.
Think I'd like a shot on that!!!
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 23:12, Reply)
I didn't come here to read this filth
You seem to have no shame in your...copulating...there, I've said it - like beasts of the field.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:01, Reply)
Beasts in the bedroom, beasts in the bathroom (shower), beasts on the sofa.
Only ever done "the beast with two backs" 'in a field once.
It was fab.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:05, Reply)
A judgement will be visted on you, my man
A very dreadful judgement, I'll be bound.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Bring the fucker on, that's my response.
And you can quote me on that at my inquest.
Shame? I have none. No time for such a waste of time.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:11, Reply)
Totally awesome day to be honest
got an 'excellent' for my teaching, my naughtiest kid got a star, a learning award, and a stamp (long story) and in about 10 minutes I'm going to get fucked on cheap booze. And I'm covered in paint.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 22:40, Reply)
And you get a star from me, simply cos your shitest kid got a star
Good work, cos kids really can be cunts!
;)
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 23:20, Reply)

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