New thread, as requested by Chompy
I took my son to a party organised by his swimming teacher for all her pupils. It was held at a working men's club.
I had thought I would be ok as there was a bar, but no - it was stocked mainly with Magners and Blue WKD.
By Christ how the working classes live, eh?
So my question to you /ot is: how have you, in the words of Jarvis Cocker, lived like common people recently? Was it Ghastly?

Alt: For the commoners amongst us, how have you poshed it up recently? Let us all laugh at your attempts at behaving properly...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:07, 201 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The filth kicked in my neighbours door.
I live in the ghetto for £700 a month ffs.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

MK is expensive, people must fucking love cycle paths

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Hey, he's not THAT bad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Jeez I pay less than that in London.
I hope you have a bigger place than me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Well, as the butler was a bit under the weather, the other day I told him to go and sit down for ten minutes, and polished my own shoes.
I can't say it's for me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Oi. Back to work.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Cripes! Rumbled!

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I've not seen you on here for a while. Can't it wait 2 more days? :P

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:18, Reply)

It really should.
But it's kind of a lonely existence in this office. Just now I had to pop down the corridor and had the first proper conversation I've had since I left the flat this morning.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

*sounds of whip cracking*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Hey, I've not got out of bed yet. I'm as bad as he is.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I...I...had to take a...a....bus the other day
It was beastly, breathing in all those sickly people's breath. I've probably got the consumption
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I think a slug of brandy is needed urgently, sir
Hie yourself henceforth to Nurse Boyce, she'll sort you out.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I can only hope the port and devilled kidneys I had for breakfast gave me a strong enough constitution to prevail over their poverty stricken exhalations

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I send my butler to mix with the underclasses on my behalf.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Went out the other weekend to a pub with DG, Sweary and Noel to see a mate play in his band.
The only thing I could find to drink was a bottle of Budweiser. Dg ended up with Newky Brown and sweary with Strongbow. Totally put a dampner on the evening.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I wouldn't have minded a bottle of Newcastle Brown
But apparently commoners round here like their drinks in brighter colours than that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I've not had any Brown Ale for ages
*makes note to rectify*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

The beer was fucking appalling at that place.
It never used to be, but it seems the demand for bland, flavourless beers is taking over.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I declare this thread a success

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:16, Reply)

needs more quentin

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:19, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Lived like Common People?
Fuck you, I was born in Basildon. I AM Common People.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I was born in a Lancashire mill town.
I lived on a council estate and was bathed in the sink as a nipper.

I win the most common person on here.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

no arguments here anyone? no? no?
ok then
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

*stands proud*, which is difficult with ricketts.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

*nutmegs*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

That doesn't count.
Northerners aren't real people. I believe they were invented by Terry Jones in the early 70's.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Born and raised in a small South Yorkshire colliery town.
Late 20s now and have never lived anywhere with a garden. Also left school at 16 and have worked shifts rather than 9-5 for most of my adult life. How's that?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I've done shifts in a packing factory.
I've also been a cleaner.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

I'm from Skem, surely that gives me the lead?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

from e u
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Well, that too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Having visited Skem, I maintain it's the way it should be spelled.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Cut your hair

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Get a job

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

*smokes fags*
*plays pool*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

grass is something you smoke. Birds are something you shag.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

NB please do not read the lyrics whilst listening to the recordings.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Not recently, but at school
we were told to make desserts in Home Economics. I bought my ingredients in and at the end of class proudly presented to the teacher my peanut biscuits.

She said 'They are very nice, but biscuits are not a dessert'.

I thougt they fucking are in my house. The posh bitch.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:23, Reply)

hahaha, they really aren't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

So I learnt..
Eventually.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:28, Reply)

You must have been to a common school if pudding was referred to as dessert.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Well, as I say, born in Basildon, so her poshness was relative.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:27, Reply)

At Battered's school they prepared a cheese course in Cookery class

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

We were not taught to cook at school, the masters took the view there was no point, as we would all grow up with domestic staff to cook for us or we would eat at one of our clubs in Mayfair.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:37, Reply)

True story, I once made eggy-bread in home economics as we had to make breakfast. It was alright, I got a cutter and cut them into circles, poured on some mayple syrup and bananas, I didn't see a problem.
She threw it in the bin and failed me before even trying it, that was going to be my lunch. Apparently it wasn't enough work or it was too sweet or wahtever, I can't remember.

But the worst thing was, someone who made a bowl of cerial _didn't_ fail.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:47, Reply)

That actually made me feel sad on your behalf.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

She was a proper bully our HE teacher, so much so that when she made people cry (at least once every couple of lessons), nobody bullied them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I went to a pool club on saturday night.
that was fairly working class. Although, the booze was cheap. And the bloke playing on the next table seemed to have brought an escort with him. Which struck me as an odd way to spend your money.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Was it Kim jong ill?
after all he is ever so lonely
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I dunno but he was wearing a flat cap
so therefore is definitely a tool.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

How could you tell?
Are you sure it wasn't just that his mrs was a ropey looking slapper?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:32, Reply)

wasn't his wife (he had a ring, she didn't)
wasn't his daughter. And the opposite, she was seriously fucking fit and very much out of his league. She was wearing thigh high boots and didn't take her coat off in 3 hours of playing pool, I can only assume because she was wearing the square root of fuck all underneath.

I assumed she was a stripper when she walked in, but then they just proceeded to spend 3 hours playing pool really badly. The whole thing was fairly surreal.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

There are better quality wank mags, thats for certain

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Razzle for the ropey wives.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

What made you think she was an escort?
I wouldn't know how to spot one.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

see above.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Was it Diane's Pool Hall, by any chance?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I'm common as fuck and have to tux up for our office do on Thursday night
This makes me look like :

a. A cunt
b. A bouncer
c. A cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:33, Reply)

You are referring to 'black tie'
tuxedo's are what tacky merkins wear to weddings
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

And it should be a black hand-tied tie too. None of this red bowtie shit or clip on ones.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

comedy or jazzy bow-ties *shudders*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I've started shopping at Aldi again, I regularly get the bus, and recently drank Carling
Alt: Nothing jumps to mind, but I've just absolutely cracked up at This.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:34, Reply)

picturelols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:35, Reply)

i think you might need to attend some CBT
i went into a aldi with my girlfriend once and she bought loads of chocolate stuff cos it was on offer and she was goin to give it out as xm,as presents

and then we went round the corner to waitrose and found them 20p each cheaper
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I fail to see
how Craft Design & Technology can help the lad. He's a student of Neil Buchanan and thus has more craft skills than you or I could even dream of.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

oh you muss be dyselxic too, CBT is nothing like CDT
if only behavioural problems could be solved with PVA glue
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Why did you bother posting this?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

why did you bother asking

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Is he a freemason?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

He a practising bum-bandit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Well it is the only way to get good at it.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:42, Reply)

No he's a Londoner!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

somoene explain this one too me please i don't get it again
i don't knoww why i come here, i really don't too high brow for my liking
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I doubt he's "Street Tuff" somehow.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

I was one of those once, true story.
It was the dullest thing I've ever been roped into.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Is that part of the initiation?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I couldn't possibly say.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:50, Reply)

I thought you'd left now, but they were still charging you money?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Trying too, I found the best way to get out of it was to not reply to any of their emails or awnser their calls and ignore the secret code that they put into the electronic train timeboard that tells me to get in contact with them.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I am forced to deal with the peasantry all the fucking time.
What with them and the terminally stupid, my days are plagued with the most undesirable scum on the face of this benighted planet.

And, as if my patience is not tested enough, I come on here and have to deal with Naked Ape.

No wonder I long for the merciful release of death. Christ on a fucking bike my life is shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:38, Reply)

don't say that man, you got a girlfrien and a nice daughter and some friends and a job and that
and maybe your health too?

*whistles always look on the bright side of life*
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Haha!
You do put up with a lot.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:44, Reply)

: (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Damn straight, and that Lusty? _such_ hard work.
She's all like "Can I roll you a joint because you've had a stressful day, and then I'll massage your feet and listen to you tell me about how you meet someone who can play the guitar who the likes of little old me has never heard off... but would be blessed to hear the story anyway. And then I'll believe your brother decapitated a drug dealer in the middle of McDonalds in Lecsiter Square on a saturday evening infront of the LAPD and got an award".

SUCH a BITCH.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I was joking.
He lives a charmed life.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:52, Reply)

You was, he wasn't.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Her musical knowledge is pretty good.
Not everyone's interest starts and ends with Eagle Eye Cherry, you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

yeah, he's got a sister dontchaknow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Haha, I love how _that_ is the bit you pick out.
Stop being a decent boyfriend, it's doing me no favours.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Do you want to hug it out?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Can I hug it out ?

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:53, Reply)

anytime sweetcheeks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:54, Reply)

*drops pants*

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

*David Bellamys*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Wummages awound in the undergwowth?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:02, Reply)

*puts finger on nose and points*
*regrets putting finger near to nose*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Can we slug it out instead?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:58, Reply)

fisticuffs eh?
*puts dukes up*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Pah
*puts Earls up*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I have just been sent this. Not seen it for years
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sirHoeJ5Td8&feature=related
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:55, Reply)

And have just found out I can see Bad Manners live in February.
Excellent.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:01, Reply)

You can see them on here all day fucking long.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

True. I had no idea Buster Bloodvessel was still alive so definitely going to go.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

He played what was supposedly their last ever gig in Whitley Bay last year.
Obviously the pension fund needs topping up.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I am going to see Mastodon in february, I am excited about this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:03, Reply)

I'm going to see The Black Keys in Feb.
I don't realyl know their stuff but from what I've heard I like them a lot.

Also they're not really black, which helps a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

This is NEW music Monty...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Hardly

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

they are post 2000, let alone post 1978!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

And they play Blues Rock

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:14, Reply)

They don't sound it at all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I'm going toa pub quiz on Tuesday.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Someone put me onto them a while back. I think it was Al.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Common?
I'm from Coventry.

Checkmate, I think!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I just ate some Hersey chocolate
It was fucking vile
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

And the surprise was?

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1467489
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:06, Reply)

The club referred to at the start of this thread is probably one you know then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

when i was about 18 i had a holiday job in a pub
i worked in the estate agency from 9am-6pm, 6 days a week, and then did 4 nights a week in the pub - my dad told me i'd never manage 2 jobs, so i was determined to prove him wrong. sometimes my feet ached all the way up to my hips, wah wah wah. the area wasn't that privileged, but i was a bit, so some of the staff (and locals) used to sing that song to me whenever i walked in.

i HATED it at first, but by the end of the summer, they'd all got quite fond of me. mostly because i was the only one who actually worked my arse off and didn't keep fucking off for fag breaks every 5 minutes. that song will always remind me of pouring pints of greenalls now. classy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:08, Reply)

i did something similar once

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Worked for a living?

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:10, Reply)

or drank a pint of greenalls?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

He's probably got a paper round.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

christ can you imagine
having his gurning face poking through your letterbox every morning?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I'm sure he'd love to 'poke through your letterbox'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

OMGLOL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

when i read this i took letterbox as a euphemism for your fanny

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:19, Reply)

i am not sure if you have seen some fucked up postboxes
or some fucked up fannies.

time to turn off the free porn, babe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I get easily confused and was recently arrested for putting my dongle in a post box

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Too obvious?
a post box my underage sister
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

oh what my sisters 38!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Oh.
Well, keep fucking her then.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

i'd love to, all the baby weight she's still carrying makes her a veritable sex bouncy castle

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:42, Reply)

nope
when you're dealing with berttin, nothing is too obvious.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:29, Reply)

lets meet up and just do it right hard
yeah?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:33, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:38, Reply)

where and when? i'm free wednesday

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

i don't think you understood the question
what do you fancy, benares?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:41, Reply)

yeah, sure, why not?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:07, Reply)

DON'T YOU DARE
your gaz has told me everything i needed to know and now i am emotionally ruiend
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:09, Reply)

also, etiquette question please!
i just went to sains for a sandwich and bought a box of chocolate orange segments for my team. i want to pull out the new "toffee crunch" and "popping candy" ones and keep them for me, leaving the other inferior less exciting been there before flavours for everyone else. is this ok??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:11, Reply)

You paid for them so you get first dibs.

( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:12, Reply)

i like this
i have now extracted them. they are very pikey with the good flavours. i have about 100 ordinary milk ones, 200 milk ones with crispy bits in them, and 21539634737 of the horrible half dark chocolate ones that NOBODY LIKES BECAUSE NORMAL PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

You are wrong.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:35, Reply)

no
i am accurate. the gannets have swooped in, and, oh yes... i only have the dark chocolate ones left!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Get your assistant to get a Jiffy bag and fire them off to me
KThxBai.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:47, Reply)

In most places no. In a lawyers office that sort of rudeness is probably acceptable.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I think it's a requirement of the job.
She'll get fired for being too soft if she doesn't take her 50% up front.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:15, Reply)

there's 5 flavours and i have extracted 2
so technically i should have 40% upfront. however, as a result of the gross disproportionate apportioning by terry's, it works out at about 2.5%.

humph.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:16, Reply)

Virtually slave labour!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Why don't you leave one or two of the good flavours and blame Terrys for unproportionate packing.
Oh! *notices post above*
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

plus disbs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:17, Reply)

ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:18, Reply)

haha, yeah great

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Sorry, I've just reread this and need to register my disgust at the concept of mixing popping candy and chocolate.
You should be giving these to people you hate.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

my tasty sweet mouth begs to differ
they are the shit!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I am trying to resist the temptation to make jokes about things you put in your 'tasy sweet mouth'...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:30, Reply)

a chocolate orange segment with popping candy in it, clearly
good god man, at least try to keep up
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:37, Reply)

tasy?
shocking!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I got a sexy date with rachelswipe!
whose the envy of alll the off topic boys, and some of the girls now then eh?

eh?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I just found out I work with someone so young that they've never heard of Ultravox's 'Vienna'
I'm fed up of being nearly 40. As of today I am 27 again and staying there.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Ah shaddap you face

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

What's the matter you?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I gotta no respect

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

^ Also old

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

It was embarrassing.
He said 'It means nothing to me', so I said 'Oh, Vienna'.

He said 'What?'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:52, Reply)

That does seem to be a favourite catchphrase for many young folk.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I thought you loved the fortys?
*forty is an alcohol in america
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:51, Reply)

It means nothing to me...

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I was waiting for this.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:53, Reply)

thats not the next line

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

He's finding it hard to write the next line.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Love it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:55, Reply)

no your indestructible

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:56, Reply)

That your problem
You're always believing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:58, Reply)

that was GOLD

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:59, Reply)

WILD BOYS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:11, Reply)

her name is Rio and she dancese on the sand, oh rio tio dance across the rio grande

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

I only just realised that Rio Grande
isn't the grand canyon
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

I always wondered why she'd be dancing over the grand canyon

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Glad to oblige.
I have passed two exams today and am now at home having a little drinky.

Where is everyone right this second?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:54, Reply)

When did you eat the exams
LOOOLLL
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Funnily enough I did "shit 'em".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Well, it is 30 years old, so it's not THAT bad.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Here you go again with the "Let's make Scarpe feel ancient".

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I'm not comparing it to my own age for once, I simply mean that a song that isn't exactly hugely famous is now 30 years old
So there will be many who haven't heard it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:12, Reply)

See it's shocking to me that it's not hugely famous.
Because it was when I were a lad so to me it still is, which is why this is making me feel old.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:17, Reply)

You're not late forties?
Shit dude the years aint been kind.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I think you are confusing "Late 40's" with "Thirty years older than Rory"

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Nah I'm mid thirties innit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:10, Reply)

its ok guys, rachelswipe jsut gazzed me, i've been dumped before i even got a whiff of her knickers
saddest of sad times going down here, i'll be aight tho, i'll move on and i'll be stronger for it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I think the only appropriate response to being dumped by Swipey is suicide.
jus' sayin'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Swipey never dumps ANYONE
not even the gay ones.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:13, Reply)

:''''''''''''',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,'''''''''''''''',,,,,,,,(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:14, Reply)

i wish he were gay
we could be proper BFFs then
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:15, Reply)

who me? YES PLEASE

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:19, Reply)

i'll give it a trym, not untirely sure i'm capapbel tho

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:14, Reply)