There are lots of things I've never done that most people seem to have done.
- Watched a sunrise with a loved one on a hill sitting on a tartan blanket with a bottle of champaign, two glasses and an empty box of strawberrys and cream.
- Cried a single soltitary tear as a tiny hand grab my little finger for the first time.
- Stayed up all night with someone who I _could_ have sex with, but have chosen to talk instead.
- Known what it is like to have someone who I love, love a lot of me.
- Been drunk on my own for the sake of being drunk.
- Learnt the cords to a loved one's favorite song on the guitar and sernayed her with that song.
- To help with the above, found someone who likes the song Wonderwall by this band who went by the name Oasis.
- Cried over the deep loss of the Mother to our future king; the pincesses of our hearts, as she was taken from us by the paparanazis.
- Watched The Gladiator.
- Been to a live football match.
- Made love on top of the washing machine while the spincycle is on at 40 degree economy wash.
- Smashed some crockery at the wall in anger and stormed out the room in a really manly way.

Only that last one I want to do.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 9:57, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've kicked a door in before, that was quite manly,
Ning Gonz.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:00, Reply)

door tramp

for shame MMPS, for shame
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I'm not shamed by this.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)

My dad once kicked in a door, we were in an abandoned house we wanted to buy and wanted to see the room.
I was so shocked, never thought he'd manage to do it, but 4 or 5 kicks and it was done, everyone was so shocked. Turns out there is a knack to doing it right, rather than strength, and he used to have to do it a lot in his days when he worked in property.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)

First time for me. All kinds of smug.
If only it wasn't in my own house though.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I tried it once and my foot just went through it
Half-arsed chip board piece of shit.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)

My mate kicked a door in in the flat we lived in at uni
we glued back every splinter and the landlord never noticed...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)

My ex locked me out of my own flat once.
It was snowing. I had to kick my own door in and now it looks like shit. Not one of my favourite memories.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Wormulus has got tiny hands.
I'm sure he'd pull your finger if you asked.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I always assumed he would have long spindly fingers
with one long finger nail for nose picking, and they would be bizarrely soft as he never does any work and rubs in "hand cream" all day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Wormulus is like a young Mr Burns.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I have no idea why I think that, I just made it up, I think it should stick though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:07, Reply)

We should make up more Wormulus rumours.
Wormulus doesn't like the sport of baseball as the stitching on the ball "looks mental"
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Wormulus can't stand the taste of cheese as it reminds him of his mothers milk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)

YES !
He once went to Harrods "For the ethnic experiance".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)

wormulus has a tattoo of Micheal Buble on his arse, when he bends over the mouth opens

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Have you seen the homer simpson vagainal tattos?
img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/fc12bf3da378576345058a1dca9f5f7c21cc69c6_m.jpg

NSFW NSFW NSFW
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

*moves from computer to phone*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Wormulus once gave his penis botox because he considered it to wrinkly.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Wormulus strips completely naked to have a shit

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I heard he stands up to shit and sits down to pee

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I heard that he has more scarfs than socks.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Magnificent

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I heard that he has 119 stars on Super Mario 64 and refuses to get the rest on principle.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Wormulus owns the largest collection of Elizabeth Duke rings in England.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Wormulus hates the texture of thermal paper on bare skin.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:17, Reply)

I heard he sneeked into a pregancy-test factory and replaced all the strips with Liptus paper.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Wormulus is sexually aroused by polystyrene balls

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Wormulus once herded a sheepdog.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Wormulus had a part as an extra in 90s kids TV Show, Woof!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Wormulus doesn't believe in giraffes
but is quite scared of werewolves
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Wormulus can't look up

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Wormulus doesn't like the Posiedon Adventure.
Everytime he sees Shelly Winters it brings him out in hives.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Wormulus owns a well stocked wine cellar.
He doesn't touch the stuff though as it's just "grape piss"
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Wormulus has four gonads

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Wormulus can actually smell what The Rock is cooking.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Wormulus takes his own cutlery to restuarants, just incase.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Wormulus doesn't "do maths"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Wormulus had all his teeth replaced with those of deceased tramps as this gives him magic powers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Wormulus watches live snooker for the banter.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Wormulus was abused as a child by Mike Reid
And now prefaces all sexual acts by screaming "Runaround... NOW!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)

wormulus only goes to the library for the smell of books

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Wormulus doesn't believe in Santa but won't dismiss the possibility that he might exist.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I like this one.

( WormuIus, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Wormulus is the youngest person to ever win Big Break.
I'm clicking all these to make an all-wormulus popular page.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Wormulus has a problem with the kids TV show funhouse.
On the grounds that it is neither fun nor a house.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I also like this one.

( WormuIus, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Wormulus keeps all his left shoes in a different cupboard to the right shoes
And is prepared to explain why at considerable length with diagrams.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Wormulus enjoys fishing as it's the least brutal bloodsport.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Wormulus wears a leotard and sweatband to the gym for the lols.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Wormulus inspired the song I wanna be adored while dating Ian Brown.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Wormulus volunteers for an Elderly Charity so he can absorb their powers.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Without the billions though.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:08, Reply)

The drunk one is easy, i did it last night
it makes TV better, but not as good as weed does
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I find TV is better when you're so out of your head that you can't remember it too.
The last show I remember watching last night was hollyoaks, and I was up watching telly 'till about 11.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I did the stay up all night in bed with a girl and talk to them instead of shagging them one on Saturday.
I'm worried I might prefer it to sex. Mostly because with talking I don't have to see the inevitable disappointment on their face after I'm finished.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:10, Reply)

simnply fuck them from behind then leave quickly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Gaylord, unless it was the coke making you chat shit with a wonky willy.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:13, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I've done this with a couple of people.
I actually kind of love it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

The staying in bed all day sleeping and having sex is preferable.
With a bit of talking inbetween.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Well shoot your 'disappointment' onto their tits instead.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Sage advice, or if you aim for the eyes she won't be able to look at you at all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:30, Reply)

If you then leave before she can see again
You'd be like a mysterious jizz-ninja.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Given the choice I bet most birds would prefer it if you chucked your muck up em as opposed to listening to you drone on for six hours about jackets and popular former gladiator 'Wolf'

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:46, Reply)

and Fulham's European misery.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 20 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)