Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning allI am out and about early as I was supposed to meet some workmen at 8 at my old place. But they're not here yet.
Tell me about unreliable tradesmen.
Alt: wotchadoin?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:11,
186 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I once paid a mate to paint my flat.He was persistently late.
Alt: trying really, really hard not be rude about how dull this Q is.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:22,
Reply)
I think someone's stolen my login again.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
Morning...I am planning some building work at the mo, and the project is already 2 months behind schedule at the Architect stage, as our Architect is the most unreliable and unprofessional cock-stitch this side of the Costa Concordia.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:25,
Reply)
Ding Dong!...I'm whizzo thanks - apart from said architect woes above.
Oh, and work is crap...and I'm getting fat again...and I only slept for about 2 hours last night...and I've got man flu...and a cut finger - which I kind of need to play guitar.
Actually, I'm not brillliant as it goes. Thanks for reminding me ;)
How are you kitten?
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:29,
Reply)
Ha! you'll always be my favorite bell-end no matter how fat you get : )I'm not exactly full of the joys of spring but trying to man the fuck up and get on with life. Being this awesome was never going to be easy.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
That's true...Yet you always manage to pull it off with aplomb...
and speaking of things you can 'pull off with aplomb'
*nudges suggestively*
EDIT: I will tell my bell-end that you said that - along with my goodbyes as it becoming a struggle to see the little fella these days
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:34,
Reply)
I was fine...Until BGB reminded me how crap thing are...so I too am trying to MTFU as I count the hours until lunchtime which happens at promptly booze o'clock
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
Things for me are almost tip topI had a rather good breakfast, washed down with lucozade. I've got a fridge full of diet coke, and it's payday.
However, I'm mildly worried that I have a monumental hangover approaching...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
I try and do most of the diy stuff myself and a mate of mine can do the technical stuff that I can't (eg repair the boiler as he's Gas Safe registered). This also means if I fuck anything up he can sort it.
Alt: entertaining my daughter whilst my wife has a shower. Following this I will have a shower, which will probably include masturbation.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:27,
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You know you could just lay your daughter safely on the floor and shower with your wife.Might be more fun.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:28,
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I would like this. However as she still hasn't fully physically recovered from the birth certain bodily parts are still off limits. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:30,
Reply)
'Paul Gadd' is your friend.Literally.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:31,
Reply)
Now you mention it, I do fancy having a small Thai this evening.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:32,
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Just winding you up hon.She'll be back to being a sex kitten before you know it.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:36,
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Of course she willI mean, look at me - there are only six years between my two kids.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
Are you suggestingthat Battered's wife's arse is
a) 20 foot wide
b) contained with a loose net and
c) has thousands of bellowing proles screaming behind it every week?
Because you shouldn't, if indeed you are. Even if it is true.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
I would be more concerned about 11 blokes aiming at it than a load of spectators watching(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
But then she'll be able to see him wanking.You haven't thought this through properly.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:30,
Reply)
Nowt much, may have some breakfast soon.Stay tuned for more exciting news!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
poor blousie, always waiting :'((
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:36,
Reply)
You know that time you caught your wife with her hand down her pants?Well she wasn't looking for the remote control.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
she sat on the remote once, if that helps.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
Morning LightySorry, never dealt with unreliable ones, so I can't answer that.
Alt: Trying quite hard to focus on the screen, as I drank quite a lot last night. Then again, I had a rather impressive sausage, bacon, egg and cheese double decker sandwich this morning.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:37,
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That sounds quite scrummy...apart from the chicken periods of course.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:39,
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I think the inclusion of a chocolate bar makes it odd(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:40,
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Double Deckers are vileThey're nearly as bad as Snickers
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:42,
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There was always something 'not right' about double deckers...Snickers rule though.
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:43,
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They are vileIt's all about the Kitkat chunky for me.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:46,
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The egg was set, I'm not too pleased about thatHowever, that led to an argument with a couple of colleagues as to whether set or runny yolks were better.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
Shut up about food will ya!I'm trying to eat less so I can drink more.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
Excellent calorific balancing(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:03,
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No argumentIt has to be runny.
Nothing can spoil your morning more than breaking the yolk when dropping it into the frying pan.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:43,
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See, this is correct.I have a feeling that the egg in my sandwich had been lightbulb warmed, which would explain why the yolk had dried.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:45,
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anyone that serves an egg with a solid yolk should be shot in front of their families(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:57,
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I haveA headache and I'm dead tired, entertain me.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
May I suggestwww.bbc.co.uk/iplayer
www.itv.com/itvplayer
www.channel4.com/programmes/4od
www.letmewatchthis.com
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:49,
Reply)
Needs MOAR pornography(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:53,
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I took it as a given that Jeff would already have sufficient links of that nature.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:55,
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ooh. Never heard of that last one.Interesting...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
Make sure you use the files stored on putlocker if you use letmewatchthis, some of the other ones aren't very good quality(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:25,
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I'm still singing the Yay! Friday! song.They shoot horses, don't they?
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:53,
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Morning all, I am cream crackered this morning and I don't know why reallly, probably AIDS(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 8:57,
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It depends if he was the bummer or the bummee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:05,
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I hear that Darth's tradesmans is open 24/7Alt:
Fucking fuming! Had a customer kick off to our MD and email in a recorded phone conversation where we asked them politely to install the patch that stops their systems from breaking. Apparently, this is BAD THING. Fucking cunts
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:05,
Reply)
ʎpoq ǝɥʇ ɟo pɐǝʇsuı ʇɔǝɾqns ǝɥʇ uı ʇı ʇnd noʎ soɔ sʇı
˙ǝıl ʇ,uop 'ǝpoɔ ɟo pɐol ɐ pǝʇsod noʎ
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:19, Reply)
2nd from top on the popular pageaustralia day, yeah cunts
here you lazy prick
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRz8FWPUmpI
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Yeah, that was well lol.CUNTS!!!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Morning all - I bet you've all got smashing blouses onUnreliable workmen eh? I was discussing this very thing yesterday! I have a friend who shall remain nameless (Initials GM) who is the least reliable person in frickin' history. He is the only person still alive who is referred to as 'The late'... as in The late GM. I have never EVER known him to be on time and I've known him for over 25 years. At his 50th birthday he was given 7 watches, 3 alarm clocks and 4 diaries - he still didn't get the hint.
In other news, my day is going spiffingly so far. My ex-boss is now furiously quizzing my ex colleagues about my new job, they're all pleading ignorance as to where I'm going. It should be interesting on Tuersday when I turn up at another ex colleagues leaving 'do'. I'm sure he'll avoid me as he's a physical and emotional coward.
I love it when a plan comes together.
@Pooflake - stop whining and get the fuck on with it you girl!
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
My Dad was a work study engineerBasically his entire job was to make people more efficient. The same Dad who was late for work every day of his working life. The same Dad who cannot leave the house without about 20 mins of faffing around.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
You cut me deep...I knew that if I was looking for sympathy I should look between 'shit' and 'syphillis' in the dictionary
You can get the first libation in for that...
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
My brother is a painter & decoratorso everything I need doing gets done by him in exchange for food, beer and a the odd bit of babysitting.
Alt: Wondering if I can sneak off to the bathroom and finish reading Mark Kermode's 'The Good, The Bad & The Multiplex' without anyone noticing, as I only have about 50 pages to go.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:16,
Reply)
I'm not sure how you read Mark Kermode, but he doesn't do *that* for me......although there is his passionate defence of 'Breathless' and that hair, oh my, that hair
...nnnngh...
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
I got that for ChristmasGot about halfway through and was thoroughly enjoying it before I got distracted by comics and the final Hunger Games book. Don't tell me how it ends! Some cunt ruined Titanic for me like that.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Oddly, I only got round to starting it becauseI have finally caught up on my comics. The 'New 52' is killing me in terms of finding time to read much else.
'Tis very good.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
I love the way Kermode goes off-topic on a mega-rant frequentlyIt's how I imagine I would write a book, were such things not beyond me
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)
It is a very decent collection of rants.He destroys Sex & The City 2. I imagine deservedly, but as I never intend to see it, it's possible he's wrong I suppose.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
I really, really doubt thatI enjoyed his point about the potential creative freedom of blockbusters
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)
...Sorry Lighters, can't do it, I'm changing the subject. Even "cor, the weather in January in Britain is crap, eh?" is more interesting than this.
So how about that local sports team, then? Go them!
Morning all
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Sports teams are even more dull than the weather.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
One of the few good reasons for working on my own.Being able to fart whenever I like.
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girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:22,
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It never bothers meMy co-workers are gas-masked up though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:25,
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Me too.That'll be the toad in the hole I had last night.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:21,
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I've not had toad in the hole in YEARS.Shall have to rectify this asap.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:23,
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hmmmOdd, but nice
Onion gravy and mash please
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:26,
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This is more what I was thinkingThen again, it is standard Northern fare.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:26,
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The first dish I made myself in my flat(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:27,
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I've never made batter beforeThere's no particular reason for it, I just haven't.
I'm considering a meat run this weekend, might pick up some good sausages, make myself a nice toad in the hole.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:29,
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You have never made pancakes?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:30,
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I always made others do them for me, couldn't be arsed with the mess(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:32,
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This all reads as gay slang to me(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:32,
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*gives AA a toad-in-the-hole*(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:36,
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Last night I had mahooosive chili sausages...With kidney beens inside.
Yummy yes, however the belches / guffage they subsequently provided could indeed be deemed chemical weapons.
In fact I can almost hear them calling now to be evacuated...Better get the stirrups for the bog...
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:25,
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I'm not too fond of kidney beans, but they sound good.Were they quite heavy?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:27,
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Indeed...Not a massive fan of kidney beans myself but they worked when part of this ensemble.
However, the first few 'quacks of doom' have begun...and I don't think they're going down too well with the rest of the people in the office...(some of which are now trying to cut their own noses off with their keyboards as we speak).
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:32,
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I had some rather evil ones the other daySadly I was off work, so I couldn't even share them with others.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:33,
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Shame...Also, my gleeful shouts of 'sew a button on that!' are only reinforcing my position as 'least popular cunt in the workplace'
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:36,
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I'm currently 'the cunt with the silly walk'Turns out silky underwear is NOT as comfortable as I'd expected.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:38,
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Silk sheets too...They sound all sexeh...but it's like sleeping on an ice-rink
with obligatory suspicious stains in the middle
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
I used to have a satin duvet cover, that was very comfyFucking freezing when you got into it though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
I managed to fart out the tune of "We buy any car dot com" the other day. I was delighted.My wife was not.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
*applauds*...I genuinely think I would rather listen to that than watch the X-Factor...
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
My local genius Indian chef does a dish called Dal KabilaDescribed on the menu as "kidney beans cooked to perfection"
It is an accurate description.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Is there such a thing as a local team anymore?Aren't they all made up of forrins now?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
Actually my team consists of quite a few local-born ladsA few forrins might get us out of this ungodly mess
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:22, Reply)
Hahahaha.Who are you again? Coventry? Or did I imagine that?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
Well, you're only *slightly* out2 points, in fact
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:29,
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It's Forest, isn't it?I remember now.
I'm looking forward to playing them next season.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
Am resigned to it now franklyAlready taking bets on who leaves in the summer exodus
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
PahahahahahaThat's been gone for years mate. Two words; Ron Atkinson
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:39, Reply)
It was never a good idea to leave spirits around Brian Clough, was it?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
Glass houses!Sorry. No, it was not, but if there's ever a case to be made for a man doing his best work whilst slightly pissed...
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
I have a massive collection of stones here, you know.I don't care where I throw them.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
My Nan used to give me that when I was about 6which, actually, may explain an awful lot.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
Pretty ruddy bloody good, actuallyThe new Sherlock Holmes film is excellent, in case you're looking for inspiration for an evening's entertainment. Box of popcorn with hole in the bottom and gullible woman not supplied.
How the devil are you?
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
I know it's meant to be alright, but would you seriously describe it as excellent?I'm considering watching 'The Guard' before going out tonight.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Never less than thoroughly entertainingand there's one sequence which is genuinely stunning. The ending will be apparent to anyone with a passing familiarity with the books after about ten minutes, but as far as this sort of fare goes it's top-notch.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Spot onOnly a fleeting reference but enough to determine how it concludes. Nonetheless the execution is excellent. Bret Hart would be proud.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Yep, I can guess what happens at the end thenIs it true to the book after Reichenbach as well?
Nice reference, btw.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Wouldn't have made it for anyone elseNot telling you. But it's Hollywood
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Meh, still breathing.I muchly enjoyed troll hunter.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
Still breathing? In Glasgow?That knocks anything I hope to achieve today into a cocked hat.
Have heard good things about Troll Hunter but all second hand, I'll stick it on the list. Cheers.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I'm honestly very fond of Glasgow, looking forward to seeing the city again later this year.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
That's a bit harsh.It had a couple of decent moments. Although now I've said that, I struggle to remember what they are. I do remember thinking 'Oh, actually I didn't hate that'.
Not a patch on the new TV version anyway though.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
It was OKTV series as you say was much better though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:42,
Reply)
Very different beastsWell, in terms of budget, at least. I agree though, the series was magnificent.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I did say to a friend'You can't really compare the film and the show, they are totally different' and he, quite rightly, pointed out that 'they are both versions of Sherlock Holmes, what's not to compare?'
I didn't really have an answer.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
One is English, with English actorsThe other is English-American, with American actors, one of whom is an ex-wrestler.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
With American actorsexcept all the ones that are English. Which is most of them.
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Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
Just checked, turns out there's only 1 american actor in it, the others with stupid accents are Canadian.I was simply looking to give him an excuse though, tbh.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
A surprising amount of actors are CanadianI learned this from the ex. Who pointed it out every. single. time.
In her defence she was Canadian, as opposed to being *just* a dullard.
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Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:52,
Reply)
This will make you crywww.theregister.co.uk/2012/01/24/voyager_flat/
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Hahahahahahahaha...you did mean cry laughing, right?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
Haha, I remember him being interviewed when he finished building it.He didn't comply to every nerdy stereotype. At all.
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Kroney, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
I'm fairly sure that rumour about Stephen Fry being Kendo Nagasaki was proved untrue.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
The huge French guy, who was also in 300.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 10:01,
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Yes the TV version was much better.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
I like the bits when he thinks about fighting and then does some fighting.(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)
8:40 they turned upBloody hell. And then roadworks made my journey into work take 45 minutes. I had such high hopes for today, too.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:35,
Reply)
Well, we won't be seeing him againEveryone told to fuck off does so, you see.
(, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
well, why should he?i mean, when have you ever, ever, ever taken notice of a million "fuck offs" ??
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:47,
Reply)
i have started a new threadbou could be a good answer to one of the ALTs.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 26 Jan 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
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