New thread.
Something about Honda Accords and MD's?

Did you ever do an exchange trip when you were at school?

Dayum, yo momma sho'is ugly!

I'm a karate man. I bruise on the inside.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:45, 93 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

sympathy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Yo momma so fat when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was starting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:52, Reply)

*click*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Yo momma so fat
when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)

Yo mommas so fat that she is at increased risk of heat desease if she doens't normalise her BMI figures, it's a terrible shame really, she's replaced love from a husband with a love of food.
It's a sorry state of affairs really, plus she gave me a smelly finger.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Yo mama so stupid she thinks taco bell is a mexican phone company

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Yo momma so stupid that her offspring thinks copy and pasted yo momma jokes are funny.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:19, Reply)

you're not even trying anymore.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)

Just mildly exasperating...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

My mate went to Bonn in germany for an exchange
the girl he was staying with was 6ft and built like a brick shithouse, her name?

Geezer
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)

shandy, pocket money from wife, anything else?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:56, Reply)

Hello nerds, how do I open an .emz file?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

lmgtfy.com/?q=how+do+i+open+an+emz+file%3F
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:00, Reply)

lmgtfy.com/?q=why+is+Quintin+such+a+tedious+turd%3F
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

But what about Quinten?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:09, Reply)

well the 'Quin' is an old germanic word meaning king
and 'ten' is muslamic for 'of everything'
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)

And Offtiweek?
I'm guessing it's hebrew for "not really"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:30, Reply)

esperanto for love god

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:31, Reply)

Silly me.
I think I should un-adopt you now, you're clearly old enough to look after your self.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:42, Reply)

Just shout 'open up, magic file, I command you!!!' in a really high-pitched, weird, gay voice,.
It works best if you stand on your desk and drop your trousers first.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:32, Reply)

Office 2010 (previously called picture manager) can open it for you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

I've never driven a Honda
but I like a smoke.
I went on a French exchange trip when I was about 13. All the girls on the trip got in trouble for getting drunk on cheap French wine. French children are incredibly dull and all have ping pong tables in their garages.
^This is a cool story.

How attractive do you expect a 68 year old woman to be?

And what do your empty hands have to do with internal bruising?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:00, Reply)

We used to go on retreats cause I went to a cafflik school.
Trying to hide the booze was fun.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)

I guess putting down your trousers meant you were bound to get caught

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

The trick was to hide it in the grounds before the room got searched.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

I failed :(

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Well done for finally opening up rory.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Man sent back home at one in the morning, well harsh

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

stupid hats :'(((((

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)

My close personal friend Caroline Flack has gone through a messy breakup according to the Daily Mail
I do hope she pulls through the anguish
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

She's a nonce

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Perhaps I can be a shoulder to cry on

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

It's ok for women to nonce boys

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)

You can't rape a dick.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Tom Jones's controversialzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

This is the first one of these I've ever got without having to google.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)

Hilariously I actually did havce to, because I couldn't remember who sung this.
It's like a crazy role reversal drama like The Prince and the Pauper!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:12, Reply)

That 'relationship' was such a PR job.
She also has a fucking MASSIVE head.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

my friend met her and said she looked like she hadn't washed in months, caked in makeup and trying it on with every bloke she saw

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)

I'd never heard of her until now.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)

There's frequently spastics at the top of the road trying to get a gash shot to sell to the Daily Star

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Londoners who love war and blowing things up BOOM
Free tours of a destroyer this weekend www.ianvisits.co.uk/blog/2012/01/26/free-tours-of-a-royal-navy-destroyer/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Your Momma's so stupid she
got stabbed in a driveby!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

:'(

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Man, that's almost tempting.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)

I am fully booked this weekend or I'd be on that like yo' momz on a vagrant's cock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Cool. Love a bit of that.
What are you up to tomorrow night?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

The elbow, in your mother

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)

My dead mother?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:13, Reply)

*dead mum fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)

shhhhhhh
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Oh fuck

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Sadly staying in!
Grandmothers birthday on Sunday :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Wish I could :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Cheers, might take The Boy to see that.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:12, Reply)

I dunno about Accords
I used to love my S2000 though.

I have nothing further to add on the other subjects.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:16, Reply)

'Used to love it'? I didn't know one could go back into the closet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)

this makes no sense even by your standards, Apey old chap
I had a car which I loved. I no longer have said car. Unless you're implying the car is "bent" ?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)

My mate shagged the french assistante in her citroen.
As in the car. Not a euphemism or owt. He shagged her in the conventional teenage fashion using her vagina.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)

With a few more euphemisms you've got the makings of a good qotw answer there
Do you want Spanky's number for some tips?

good
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)

It contains an unfortunate amount of "true story".
I'm not sure it would be allowed.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Stevewrightintheafternoon on Radio One used to have a true stories section
Perhaps you could send it to him?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

He's changed his name to Scott Mills, gramps.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

I'm not even sure if Radio One is still going.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:27, Reply)

They've even got a black version these days.
For blacks.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:28, Reply)

Aw, it's nice that they get something.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:29, Reply)

I suppose this sort of knowledge is useful when pretending to be a teenager online, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:28, Reply)

I never pretend to be older than eleven.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:29, Reply)

*takes notes*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:30, Reply)

I hate it when people abuse the True Story, I use it all the time, but only if I'm not lying, true story.
People who lie when saying True Story deserve to have their baby in a pram to go under the train tacks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:51, Reply)

This happened to a girl I was college with. She didn't but the brakes on the pram properly while waiting for a train
True Story.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:54, Reply)

I did a German exchange in Hanau.
The family my mate lodged with was a single mother and her son.

After the first day my pal said this woman was really hot and giving him the eye (we were 15). On the second he had to be moved to another family because he grabbed her and started touching her tits.

He is still revered for this.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)

All your friends are shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:22, Reply)

So is your face.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:24, Reply)

did you give him a sexual assualt high five?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)

*thunderous rape tens*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:24, Reply)

"Calm down, love. Let's not turn this rape into a murder"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:28, Reply)

as opposed to doing her in the Renault
which, of course, is a euphemism for the back doors caving in.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Nice looking but drips rusty water from the wheel arches.
If you know what I mean.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

The Honda Discord in my road is looking very rundown lately
Someone has even smashed one of its little side windows.
They wouldn't have done that back in its heyday.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)

Out of respect.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:18, Reply)

and fear

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)

You would fear them. That one house has ruined one entire section of our road. And it's in the posh bit.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:21, Reply)

and a fanatical devotion to the Pope

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:37, Reply)

That's exactly what I meant.
It even has a "Terry and Tracey"-type windshield banner that says "Honda Accord" in scripty font.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:20, Reply)

Went to Le Touquet when I was at school. It was a group thing and we stayed in these chalets, three to a room.
I got back one day to find a hoover in my bed. Oh the hilarity as my room mates started spreading it around that I was using the Henry they planted as a mastubatory aid.
( Kroney, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:23, Reply)

So it's true that you masturbate with vacuum cleaners?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:25, Reply)

It's not my fault, Henry was a total slut.
'E fackin' lavved it.
( Kroney, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Inside he was crying the whole time.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:10, Reply)

That was spunk, not tears

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:13, Reply)

Kroney had poor Henry round the throat with a Star Trek dressing gown cord.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:15, Reply)

He had a mouth like a hoover.

( Kroney, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 13:19, Reply)