Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's Monday morning.Do some work, you bunch of talentless flids.
Alternatively, answer me this: if it's been snowing since stupid o clock this morning, and it's brass monkey cold, why is there no snow on the fucking ground? Eh? What's that all about?
Alt: spots or stripes? Show your working.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:33,
150 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Alt: THE ANSWER IS OF COURSE STRIPESMy working:
I like stripes. I dislike spots.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:37,
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I'm going to put some fucking stripes on her for that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:39,
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Being taught the "two razor blades in a toothbrush" shiv trick in prison will finally come in useful.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:40,
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Yeah.I totally stomped a thread from an hour ago, which hasn't had a reply in ten minutes.
Whattacunt, eh readers?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:43,
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Perhaps the snow blew away.Alt: I have no preference either way.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:40,
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I am sure the women you manage to entice are covered in spots. Genital ones. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:45,
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Hold up here, to be _covered_ in genital spots, you would have to be one big genitalia.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:05,
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Unless you could get genital warts on your, say, arm or something. Maybe you mean someone else's genital warts on her? Like someone rubbing up against them?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:05,
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There was some snow on the ground up hereI hope this helps
Alt:
Stripes. No working needed as done far too fucking much already
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:47,
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That does indeed make me feel better. Thanks(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:54,
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More weather updates as they happen(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:56,
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Thanks b3thNow, on the settee we have a "Barry" from "Eastenders". He's here to talk to us about coats
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:01,
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Stripes like that are Jean-Paul Gautier Bent(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:49,
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Add it to the bleached blond hair, and he's the very figure of manliness.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:55,
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Apparently he's not really a bumder.He just pretends so that he can ogle the beesting lalas of stick models behind the scenes.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:57,
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Well they're not. I also have a lot of other striped items of clothing.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)
The only straight one is the one at the back.Oh! hang on. He looks like a village person too.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:02,
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Those aren't just men's men.Those are men's men's men.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:03,
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At least one of the bummed a wolf to death./shameless theft
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:09,
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Second from the right stole his moustache from a walrus while throttle-fucking it.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:11,
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auto-erotic walrusphyxiation(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:25,
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*laugh of recognition*Happens to me all the time.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:28,
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Even snow doesn't want to hang around in Weston?I dunno, it's not snowing here.
Alt: The Ink Spots are better than The White Stripes.
I'd like to be cool enough to be able to pull off polka dots like this: tinyurl.com/7kdwhsn but I'm not, so I'll stick to stripes.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:55,
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It's been hailing here.Now it's sunny, meh English weather.
I've had to ask a client to leave, as they're viewing offensive sites. Hypocritical act of the day...
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Did you call them a cunt while you manhandled them out of the building?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:02,
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No, I just had a look at what they were viewing.Pretty vanilla really, but it still made it past the net nanny.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
You should have told them where to go if they want the really good stuff.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:06,
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Stripes from the whip. Spots from the cigarette burns.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:58,
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I also need this striped shirt like you wouldn't believe.www.endclothing.co.uk/nigel-cabourn-small-stripe-oxford-shirt.html
The price is unfathomably daft though unfortunately.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Are you applying for a job as a childrens television presenter?(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:00,
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That is really fucking disgusting.But you're one of them rich student types, so fill your boots.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:00,
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Course. Wouldn't spend over 100 for a shirt. Would have to be amazing to pay 100 for it as well.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:05, Reply)
seriously, dude.Seriously. That's bent, and not in the good "having sexual intercourse with other men" way.
And it's 350 shitters for a shirt. A SHIRT.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:02,
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Looks like one of my daughter's outfits.She's five months old.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:02,
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One night out at the student unionAnd it will have.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:05,
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IndeedNot quite sure if the other stain is baby milk or man milk though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:06,
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As long as you're aiming away from the face(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:07,
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where's the fun in that?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:10,
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If you get it in their eyes at that ageYou'll be paying for their glasses for the next twenty years.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:13,
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You get most of it from the NHS until they leave full time education.Blast away.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:17,
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ah, I didn't realise this conversation was about children*turbononces*
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:25,
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And students wonder why no cares about them having to pay some extra feesAlso that is hideous and to spend £350 on an off the shelf shirt is fucking stupid
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:27,
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I note that your disgust seems to relate to it being off the shelf.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:29,
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Nah, but for that kind of money I'd at a least want something tailored to me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:30,
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"We're going to need a second tape measure"(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:31,
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"we're going to need a bigger loom"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:35,
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£350.00 for any item of clothing is taking the piss.I fail to see what this has anything to do with students however.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Our Bazza is a student(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:32,
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My ski boots were that much if you include the footbeds.But that's a bit of a stretch to call them an item of clothing.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:33,
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You know when your granny takes her teeth out to suck your toes?Like a drier version of that.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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yeah, very comfortableThey are quite a lot, I could have waited for the summer when they are always cheaper, but really I needed some new ones for this ski season.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:50,
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My leather jacket was £400, at full price(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:35,
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All that running training paid off then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:37,
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If Barry is wasting his student loan on the shirt then it is relevant(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:43,
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Relevant to him.Not sure why it's relevent to anybody else or to tuition fees.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:44,
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Well if he had £350 spare cash to waste on a hideous shirtThen he could afford to pay higher tuition fees
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:46,
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What are you bibbling on about?A student loan is a loan. Hence the giveaway word "loan". And student fees are also paid back as a loan.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:47,
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Suits for less than £350 are alright if you work behind a bank till or roaming the floor of an electrical retailer.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:43,
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You should buy a cheap suit and have your tailor alter it.Nobody can tell the difference between that and a good suit.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Unless your tailor's name is rumplestiltskin and he has the magical power to turn shiny poly mix burton fabric into decent wool then that's clearly a pile of old bollocks.Which low-brow lad's mag did you read that in? Nuts?
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:46,
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I was assured that this was true by none other than The Mighty Badger.(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:47, Reply)
I don't know.When I browse the lads mag shelf I'm basically just staring at the tits and the pretend lezzers.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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I don't think sobut I've not looked recently
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:53,
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Surely if it's your job you should have a better idea of whether the company is actually still solvent?(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:55, Reply)
I got distracted with the snorting coke of glamour models' tits in the company of Danny Dyer.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:59,
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Yes it is.Easily spotted on magazine racks by the fact that it's usually got some scantily clad bint on the cover with the word 'Loaded' written above her.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:08,
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I've got a couple of good wool suits that cost less than £200.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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Hey. that's a good stick. Don't diss the stick.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:54,
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It's a splendid stick.It doesn't compromise on its stickness. It's just a big ol' stick.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:57,
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It is possible to get a reasonable tailor made suit cheaplyIf you are prepared to turn a blind eye to child labour and haggle with Indian businessmen.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:55,
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My mate gets his knocked up by slave kids when he goes to India.Sadly he has the taste of a 1980s barrowboy so while they fit very nicely and cost bugger all, he looks like he should be playing keytar for Kajagoogoo.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:59,
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if it was hand-made by elves out of rare spider silkand fitted better than anything in the history of tailoring, £350 would still be too expensive for a shirt.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:33,
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Apparently boffins have made silk worms that produce spider-ish silk.I'd like to think that this involved spiders fucking moths but they probably did something tedious with genes and pipettes.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:48,
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I do all my genetic manipulation "old skool"it's pretty tricky getting cats to fuck fruitflies though.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:00,
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Please remove your camera from my daughter's bedroom.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:50,
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Not while I'm still paying for a subscription(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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I saw the full trailer for The Grey yesterdayI think Liam Neeson might actually punch a wolf to death in it!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:32,
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it's the only language these wolves understand(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:37,
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I watched Kickboxer the other night.It really hasn't aged too well. The bit when JCVD goes dancing whilst wearing what appears to be a lycra teddy and stone wash jeans is particularly bad.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:49, Reply)
That's bits awesome!None of his movie have aged well, for me that's part of their "charm"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:51,
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I don't think I've seen that.The first one has the big cake in it, yes? And the blonde floozy?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:01,
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That's Steven Segal not jcvdThe bird in the cake is elrika eleniak, it also starred tommy lee jones and the ginger psycho from point break
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:07,
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Erika EleniakMmmmm.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:08,
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in your own timeMind you, autocorrect wanted to change mmmmm to ninjas for some reason.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:18,
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Most erotic scene ever committed to celluloid.No diggedy no doubt.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:52,
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I want some fucking snow, it's brass monkeys in London and not a single flake.Strips, as long as they are vertical, n=horizontal stripes make you look fat and spots are just lolwaki.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:48,
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Arfternoon.I was talking to my dad the other day, and he wanted to know who this Quixote fellow was; why he was in photographs with me on facebook; and did my husband know I was knocking around with weird blokes.
I hope you're a fast runner.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:52,
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ExcelentMy reputation continues to spread. I'm confident I can out-run either your father or husband.
In other news the MD has just called a very short notice staff meeting for 2:30. I am trying hard not to see this as oh-shit-territory.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 12:59,
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'cus there is some speed zimmerframming going on there.KAPLOWIE, RIGHT IN THE KISSER. SMACK IN THE CHOPS.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:06,
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Yeah?Well I disagree. I disagree strongly.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:33,
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I put it to you that YOU are wrong.What have you to say about that? EH???
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:36,
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I would retortYOUR FUCKING FACE IS WRONG
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:37,
Reply)
My face is one of the last untouched wildernesses of Europe ACTUALLY.It has a wild, craggy beauty to it, not unlike the the Scottish Highlands, only with slightly fewer stags.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:40,
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So therefore once again you are demonstrably WRONG.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:41,
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...and pissed on constantly(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:41,
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I disagree that you will have to do that.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:41,
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Tough. I am the final arbiter of when clunge knocking is required.
I don't make the rules.
(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:42, Reply)
+ I just knock one out to them(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:43,
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I am not clam jousting with Monty(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:42,
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I've just made up a new word to describe the concept of female solidarity:'clameraderie'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:44,
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Very goodWhat about jammin' ?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:45,
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That's even better than "vanerarderie" which is why men in white vans let each other out at junctions.(, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:45, Reply)
That's not bad.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:45,
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It's not, but now everyone seems to have gone away to reflect on it (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:50,
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I suspect there's a wave of suicides happening across the UKas people realise that the internet will never be as good again.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:53,
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QUICK, TO YOUR POLES CLAMERADERIE!!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:52,
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I miss all the pole positions and shit, golly gosh I was empowered last night by rubbing my sweaty twat vigorously up and down a pole. If I’m ever feeling demasculated I must remember to find something to rub my arse crack against.(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
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