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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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Just dropping this here for later on
I slept with like a corpse last night and actually feel vaguely human for the first time this year. What, my fellow autists, is going to be good about today?

It is Friday so with good luck and a prevailing wind this will mean a few pints at lunchtime. I may also go crazy and have some pub grub too. To counterbalance this, I have a day of traumas and meetings to cope with

I am off to the in-laws at the weekend which equates to large quantities of Stella and lasagne

Alt:
Weekend plans?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 6:48, 153 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Are the in-laws horrible pikeys?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 6:55, Reply)
£10 says they have a rusty car on bricks in their front garden
and go to the shops in their slippers.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:17, Reply)
It's a big day when Sporto goes round, they'll all be wearing their best romper suits with matching fake uggs
No one calls them tramps on their patch, no siree
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:59, Reply)
This sub-thread is making me lol

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:00, Reply)
I've got a headache.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 7:57, Reply)

eadache ard-on from watching the We Are The Champions disabled special.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)
*Away I go*

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)
He's going for a quick up and under.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:53, Reply)

I am starting my new job today. Tomorrow will be spent decorating, Sunday I am meeting a B3tan for breakfast and then having a quiet day. I hope to have time to watch the rugby.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 7:58, Reply)
Good luck with the job.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:15, Reply)
Ta.
Have you heard of this bloke? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Kemper

Apparently he skull fucked his mother after decapitating her. Quality.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Monty used to go drinking with him.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:48, Reply)
Taught him everything.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:49, Reply)
He's way cool.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Watched a documentary about him yesterday. My wife couldn't understand why I was laughing so much.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Women, eh!
Tsk.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Best of British, Battered.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:28, Reply)
Thanks.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Best of United Kingdom, Bastard.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Best of Scottish, shitcunt.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:32, Reply)
Worst of Welsh, cockbreath.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:32, Reply)
Good work.
I've had 3hrs kip and feel fairly dismal as a result. My boss is in Frankfurt though, so today should be not tooooooo bad.

Early night tonight, Black Keys tomorrow night, daughter and my mother on Sunday, followed by a few beers, I expect.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:14, Reply)
The fact that I'm aiming to be out of here by 9am
No boss = no work

Alt: Except for the football, nothing
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:22, Reply)
Good night's sleep. I feel good today.
A day of reports for me today but ho-num, it'll be over soon enough.

I am doing house stuff this weekend. Attic, tip, you know the score. And watching the rugger.

I also bet your in-laws have an old Cortina on blocks that drives itself to the shops to buy slippers.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:31, Reply)

doing house stuff this weekend. Attic, tip, you know the score. And watching the rugger a bent spastic
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:35, Reply)
Strikethroughs
The last refuge of the witless spanner.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:36, Reply)

nn ck
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)

trikethroughs o bent that Marc Almond beat me up in a homophobic attack
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)
hahahaha.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Two lols in two mins makes me hope for a "good" day on here
...and not in an AK Ice Cubey style
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)
I slept terribly last night.
Good about today is that my online order from Sainsburys is turning up later and I'm going to have port in the house for the first time in weeks. Also my new JBL creature speakers *should* hopefully be turning up and I don't have to listen to music through my cursed laptop any more.

Alt: Tonight meet old housemates and go out, tomorrow go to vintage furniture shops and look for a new bookcase. Sunday wallow in self pity and loneliness.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:37, Reply)
Vintage furniture shops, Baz?
Don't you mean second hand?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:39, Reply)
I don't know a girl's taking me. She knows more than me.
I just want to go to Laura Ashley.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:42, Reply)
+ because I'm a bent middle aged lady

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I have much better taste than middle aged ladies.
And the gays.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

t p
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)
I declare today SHIT STRIKETHROUGH FRIDAY

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:41, Reply)
So what's new?
FRI
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

today I am STRIKETHROUGH FRIDAY

Glad to help.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)
It's OK monty, you can be like the girl in the twinning advert who is in stormy seas but with a cup of twinnings she can enter the tranquil waters of calm and peace and then find herself.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:43, Reply)
This is my first day in the office this week which is nice
the number of email I've accrued over the last few days isn't.

EDIT: Weekend will be dominated by Mastodon
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:43, Reply)

odon urbating in the frozen aisle of Morrison's
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Aint Al going?
You can hold his hand and make out at the interval
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)
christ roar-face, what an image

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Another good thing about today.
Or yesterday or a couple of days ago, whenever it was. My mate's dad is an antique dealer, he just told me someone came in this week and tried selling him a 'genuine Victorian TV cabinet'.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Ha.
That's ridiculous because everybody knows they didn't have TV's in Victorian times. They called them Watchboxes back then.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)
I thought they called them tellyboxes?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Magic lanterns.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Ha.
I see what you did there.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:58, Reply)
Hah

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

I have arrived at work, whilst waiting for my boss I have connected to the wifi and got myself a coffee. It's all about the priorities.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:45, Reply)

riorities. enis
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)
I have no weekend plans
Although I might buy myself another pair of trainer.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:46, Reply)
+s

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Why would he want a pair of strainers?
*confused face*
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)
To drain the lumps out of his mum's discharge before he drinks it.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Oh, jesus.
I actually threw up in my mouth.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Ha ha ha

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:55, Reply)

threw up came
mouth wastepaper basket
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)
soz, I should have pulled out and aimed for the face

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:54, Reply)
"There you go Mummy, you drink it. That's right!"
"WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME, BITCH?!"
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:59, Reply)
HAHAHA!
EW!
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:04, Reply)
This is hideous.
Congratulations
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Oh, man, that's a low even for here.
nice work
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I endorse this post
That was truly horrific
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:10, Reply)
You
Are my little 'S Express'.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:54, Reply)
HEY MUSIC LOOOOVERRRR

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:55, Reply)
That's slightly homoerotic.
Darth will be disappointed to miss that.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I have just recieved an email with the subject, "URGENT: Actions for Friday 10th of Feb"
meh, I'll read it on Monday
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Two of my friends/colleagues are coming to view my flat today.
VULTURES!
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:51, Reply)

view steal from
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)
He's southern and she's an Isreali.
He will make some tea and she will occupy the airing cupboard, not before demolishing the sofa.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:53, Reply)
She is reali what?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:00, Reply)
To China!

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:01, Reply)

That just makes me think of this
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)
That is even more bent than that load of old toss Chompy linked to yesterday afternoon

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:11, Reply)

that load of old toss Chompy linked to yesterday afternoon me
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Me I

Grammar, dear boy.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:32, Reply)
She is reali going to nick your hubcaps

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:05, Reply)
she ent scouse blud

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Make sure you hide all the bondage gear

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)
*taps nose*

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Yeah go on then, I'll have one.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)
hahahah

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Haha seagull just slid down my roof like a tit
going "waaaaaayy, oooo-eerrrrr, I'm fookin faaaaaallin!"
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 8:56, Reply)
A couple of weeks ago
a seagull outside the office window beat a pigeon to death and then ate half of it.

It was the most exciting afternoon we've had in ages.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:02, Reply)
When I lived in Fulwell in Sunderland there was a load of hardnut seagulls
They used to bomb people and try to steal food. It was very entertaining to watch 4 of them chasing a child with sweets down the street
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Really?
Fucking hell that's boss
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Beat it to death.
Was bashing it's head against the roof, let it crawl away a bit and then catch it and beat it some more.

It was very cool!
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Was it bashing with its wing?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)
It had the poor pidge by the foot and was bashing it's head by swinging it around.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Until you see a seagull fly right over your head and straight into a lamppost you've seen nothing seagull related.
I'm going to find the picture it makes me laugh.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:10, Reply)
Hahahaha!

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Silly seagull.
I saw someone punch a seagull in Padstow when it tried to nick his icecream. He knocked it to the ground before it got away with his chocice.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:12, Reply)
not a seagull
but I had a pigeon try and fly through my spokes whilst I was cycling a while back. I was shifting, so it was ... messy.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)

f t
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Was it a visibly drunk Rick Stein?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)
It died didn't it?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah. A kind local stamped on its head and put it out its misery.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Alt: Pub.
Pizza. Watching rugby. Helping out one of the lower league teams tomorrow as national league hasn't restarted up here after the winter break. Dinner out on Sat night. It's all go.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:08, Reply)
How old are the kids you groom?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:10, Reply)
what what what?
do you mean in a professional or personal capacity?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:15, Reply)
I assumed the lower league teams was a kids team.
I assumed wrong, obviously.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:18, Reply)
haha, no
our mens 3XI. It'll just be me running around for 70 mins shouting "will you pricks put some fucking effort in" I imagine. That's how it usually rolls.

I'm not allowed to help with our youth teams after "the incident"
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Apparently 'shower supervisor' is not a 'hands on' job.
Who knew?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)
THE AUTHORITIES

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)
Always with the kids, stunned?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)
it's all about the kids, sporters.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Won't somebody think of the children?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)
*thinks*
*spunks*
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:53, Reply)
*leaves*

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)
10/10
A must-LOL.

Paul Ross, News of the World
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:08, Reply)
stuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddd
if i buy you a beer next week, could i possibly ask a huuuuge favour and gaz you a couple of questions about the insurance market for a friend who has an interview????
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Deal.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)
perfect! hang on...

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Haha and your next question was going to be
"Do any of them seem a bit withdrawn, vulnerable, maybe not getting much attention at home..?"
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:23, Reply)
Friday means knocking off at 3pm
I've actually only done one full day this week.

Alt: Childcare and drinking.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:22, Reply)

ff at 3pm ne out over the male underpant models in the Next Directory
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)
I managed a decent night's sleep last night
Mostly because by 10 I could barely keep my eyes open so went to bed. Today is likely to be a bit awkward as I may have to tell some people their requirements are physically impossible to meet.

Saturday has an estate agent valuing my old place and hopefully drinks with mates if we can get organised. Sunday is football on the Telly and recovery.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:28, Reply)
Have you been told to go fuck yourself again?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:36, Reply)
+ and if not, why not?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:40, Reply)
Me too, I only woke up like 4 times, I don't get how people who can sleep all the way through. Or more like, I get them and is very jelly, each time it knocks me out of that phase of sleep that you need. BUT, but, I slept better than I normally do.
The snow is so pretty, I wonder where I can borrow a dog and take it walking along the snow, dogs and snow is awesome. If the snow is 8 inches then I want a 10 inch pug to explore the forrest with.

It's supposed to be on saturday that a man from Wicks is supposed to come over and messure up my kitchen and on sunday we're supposed to be going down there to design and price up a new one, hopefully it'll be in budget to be do'able. On Saturday I'm planning to do all my jobs I'm supposed to do, and maybe buy a new hoodie.

I got another call from a recruiter who is head-hunting me the other day, that's the forth one this year, I swear someone knows someting I don't.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:41, Reply)
I swear lots of people know lots of things you don't.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Why won't they fill me in then?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)
You are Craig David AICMFP

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)
IDGI

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdcmM9T8vD4
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Hahahaha, that is the most least street 'street' video I've ever seen.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:30, Reply)

il ee
in up
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I rode to work for the first time in 2 weeks
This in turn was because I managed to get reasonable if not excessive amount of good quality sleep, All hail Zopiclone. This in turn has left me feeling energetic and reasonably together, which is noce. Later today I shall be meeting BGB for a pint or 3 which will also be nice.
Alt: Off to see the Tower of London with a Lady of the opposite gender tomorrow which should be nice and on SUnday I'm going with my bestest mate(male) to get measured for a suit for his wedding, so that should also be nice.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:46, Reply)
A lady of the opposite gender?
You mean: a man?
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Bangkok chick-boy.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Nah it'll be one of those unconvincing ex squaddies in his 50's

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)
*finger on nose, points*

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)
Eeez very noce

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)
NONCE more like.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)
The less successful sister company to the popular baked potato chain.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Hahahahah fucking hell, is it tenuous o'clock already?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)
+ n

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Where has BGB been?
She hasn't been around for ages.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:54, Reply)
She died.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Dead? B-b-b-but hoooooow?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Your Blouse is dead.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)
^ Anyone who isn't Stunned who gets this, also gets my undying admiration

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i thought i had that already?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)
AIDS?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)
She died of an overdose.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Ooop North, mostly.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I miss her like an english rose in the middle of an indian summer misses the kiss of the rain.
I miss her like a lion prowling the jungle misses it's mate. Oh god I miss her like.... like.... I donno, I just miss her, come home Beegeeb, just come home, we don't need the money, forget about the job, let someone else handle it.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)
today is friday
that is good in itself.

weekend - my bezzie is down from manchester. so pub tonight, shopping and hair/manicure tomorrow, chelsea bar-crawl on sat night (albeit that i will be on the water, stupid detox), sunday lunch. goooooood.
(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Can I come?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)
to which bit?

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:33, Reply)
I'm not sure, I don't even know why I asked, I'm busy this weekend. I just like to know that I'm invited really.

(, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 10:40, Reply)

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