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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck. Evening thread I guess?
I'm stuck at work, I'm probably going to be here late because of something breaking. Tell me something good. Or tell me something bad.

Just tell me something, because I'm bored out of my mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:13, 252 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
im going shoe shopping on friday

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:16, Reply)
Hey K. This is excellent news.
I have bought shoes in the past.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:23, Reply)
my birthday dress is hot pink leopard print
Im not actually sure how to match shoes to it
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:31, Reply)
I would guess hot pink leopard shoes

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:05, Reply)
i just got back from archery
didn't hit any hearts
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:31, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:37, Reply)
unfortunately I didn't hit the yellow very often, either

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:51, Reply)
I've had a terrible day Kroney, if it gets any worse I'll need one to beam up to the sadship enterprise

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:36, Reply)
did your valentine
get a restraining order?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:36, Reply)
I've never bothered with valentines, troo story
I got binned on valentines for not bothering once, I cried an cried over that one
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:42, Reply)
oh rory
is that why you are so bitter?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:50, Reply)
DAMN ALL THOSE PEOPLE WITH WIVES ND GIRLFRIENDS AND I'M REDUCED TO TYPING CRAP ON A BOARD OF DYSFUNCTIONAL WANKERS :'(''''''''''''''''''''
They're aren't enough tears in the world
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:03, Reply)
I've got jaffa cakes

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:05, Reply)
What happened, Rory?
You realise that the sadship is mostly for those with inflatable girlfriends, right?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:52, Reply)
Oh dear crewed by you and lic, I might give it a miss

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:05, Reply)
Fuck off I'm well happy. I've got TWO inflatable girlfriends.
Living the dream, man.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:18, Reply)
This addition of colour to the page does not sit well with me.
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:51, Reply)
alright Kroney
Is that breaking as in literally failing to work, or breaking as in emerging?
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:53, Reply)
It failed to work. It's working again now.
Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:58, Reply)
There are seven million cats in the world called Alfred

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:06, Reply)
I hope they are all aging cat butlers.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:17, Reply)
in bow ties

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:20, Reply)
If you cut off any butler's head
a malevolent cat face will appear in the neck
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:20, Reply)
Similarly,
every policeman's greatest fear is that a crow will peck away their face and feast upon the toffee hidden inside their heads.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:33, Reply)
I have just found out that I can compost
the sawdust and poo from the guinea pig cage. As a new owner of a compost heap, this makes me happy
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:08, Reply)
Something good
Apparently Mr Rogers loves you just the way you are, one in a million. Well, he would do, if he weren't dead.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:21, Reply)
Good:
All went well with the flowers in the end and she's absolutely over the moon. As a result I feel over the moon too.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:32, Reply)
Dude. Gay.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:35, Reply)
Almost. I'm a hopeless romantic and a complete sop.
She's basically the bloke.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:38, Reply)
Good work there.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:36, Reply)
woo!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:37, Reply)
how am I about the only person here
with a broken heart icon?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:38, Reply)
That is quite funny.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:39, Reply)
*blows rasberry*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:41, Reply)
You can change it over, you know.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:40, Reply)
oh yeah
I might not. though. I was just concerned there was a FOREVER ALONE detector in the b3tamatrix.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:42, Reply)
Isn't that triggered by signing up in the first place?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:47, Reply)
lololololol

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:48, Reply)
Hmmm
Sometimes sarcasm does transmit over the internet. I was half-expecting you to type "Bazinga!" or something.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)
Why would I do that.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)
I don't know.
I have a mental picture of you looking somewhat thin, and mantis-like.

A bit like Dr Sheldon Cooper himself, in fact.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:52, Reply)
Only a mental picture?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:56, Reply)
Having never met you, yes, only a mental one.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:58, Reply)
Tell me more about this mental picture.
I'm all ears.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:59, Reply)
I don't know!
I just have a picture of you in my head looking all thin and insect-like.

Why, have I nailed your physical description?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:00, Reply)
More or less, it's how I looked about 5 years ago when I lived in sub-breadline poverty.
Round about when I knew your b3tan ex-colleague who (by some remarkable coincidence) also works in York these days.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:03, Reply)
How about that.
The world is a very weird place.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:04, Reply)
What are the chances, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:09, Reply)
I NO RITE!!!

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:11, Reply)
Editing posts eh?
Anyhow, you must mean Piston. God alone knows what he's up to these days. Far as I know, he's still in Fujitsu having fun. Or not. Who knows?

Either way, I'm not him, so please drop it, it's getting tiresome. Oh, and passing each other notes about me via PM? Touching to know you're all talking about me. Bloody hell, is this place that dull you have to speculate on my identity?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:34, Reply)
That smacks of paranoia
I really doubt anyone is talking about you privately
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:41, Reply)
It was mentioned on a thread yesterday.
I have an unusually contextual memory. Very handy in pub quizzes.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:52, Reply)
And remembering your jokes...

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:16, Reply)
Oh I have a terrible sense of humour.
I'll freely admit to that.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:38, Reply)
lololololol

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:54, Reply)
Indeed.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:15, Reply)
I changed mine over
but I've obviously been tarred by the Forever Alone brush
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:00, Reply)
It's better than the Forever Betrothed But By Christ I Wish I Was Alone brush.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:01, Reply)
Quite possibly
I'm alright being alone for now
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:02, Reply)
I have one too
Although that is more down to not bothering to change it rather than being FOREVER ALONE. Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:05, Reply)
Here's a question for all you gad-about singletons
Sexy dancing. Does anybody actually find it sexy? It happened to me at the weekend. Well, it happened *at* me, really. I was practically sober and found it more than a little off putting. I was so turned on that I fell asleep on the tube ride home and missed my stop.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:46, Reply)
Bet you had the mother of all wet dreams though
And no... not really. I'm the same as you in that respect. I suppose you have to be in a frame of mind where you can objectify women instead of seeing them as people.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)
The evolutionary purpose of dancing was to attract a mate.
So yes, someone probably did find it sexy in the dim and distant past. Now that the human race has developed language, civilisation and petty insurance policies for absolutely everything, it is somewhat redundant.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:51, Reply)
There is no such thing as sexy dancing
I can confirm this
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:55, Reply)
I was subjected to a lapdance on my stag-do, thanks to my so-called friends
It was not even remotely sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:00, Reply)
Next time, have a girl dance for you.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:30, Reply)
I've just booked two nights in Liverpool
I have emailed to ask for a secure parking space so that I don't have to pay the local kids not to steal my car.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 21:57, Reply)
Just pointing out that I'm still at work.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:33, Reply)
You deserve it

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:33, Reply)
All women want me to suffer.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:35, Reply)
True. Is there a reason for this?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:36, Reply)
I can't imagine I've offended each and every one of you.
Well, I don't know. Maybe I could. I am pretty offensive.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:37, Reply)
I'm just being a miserable bastard tonight

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:41, Reply)
Related or unrelated to the date?
I thought I was going to be much more down about today than I ended up being.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:44, Reply)
Unrelated
I don't care about Valentine's Day, being single isn't a big thing to me. Had an argument with my family earlier though and the atmosphere of seething resentment is getting to me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:46, Reply)
Have you tried having a wank?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:47, Reply)
Nope
I think that says all that needs to be said on the matter. How are you Al?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:49, Reply)
I'm pretty good, did a nice 5 miles tonight
And I'm flying to australia on friday night.

How are you? Got a job yet?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:51, Reply)
Ooh nice, how long you there for?
Could be worse, still don't have a job though which is making me a bit tense
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:53, Reply)
Evening Amberl.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:58, Reply)
Evening Jeff
how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:59, Reply)
Just back from football
City were 2-0 down with about 15 minutes to go, but salvaged a draw. So that's something.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:00, Reply)
No Valentine's date then?
At least it wasn't a loss I guess
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:01, Reply)
I spent the evening with my one true love, Bristol City.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:03, Reply)
I heard you slagged it up with Saint Pauls

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:05, Reply)
I'm not a black dude with natty dreads.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)
He's good.
He had a wank. Coincidence? Unlikely.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:00, Reply)
How is the running going Al?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:03, Reply)
Why are you crouching outside Jeff's house?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)
No, it's a special occasion, so I went to his place to knock one out.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:06, Reply)
That's like romance squared

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:09, Reply)
Isn't it.
Are you in the West Country or Ireland at the moment, and how is the business plan coming alone?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:13, Reply)
she planned to have a wank
But it's none of your business
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:15, Reply)
I hope I haven't ruined it for her.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:18, Reply)
Ireland for the next four days
driving me very slowly mad. It's going okay I think, I don't appear to be eligible for any funding, but I've made my plan and I really hope there'll be some take up.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:16, Reply)
If you wanna grab a pint and run over it at any point, let me know!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:18, Reply)
Will do! Let me know when you're not in Edinburgh
and you can have a hearty laugh at my flyer design (yeah I went there.)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:19, Reply)
Cool.
I need to survive at weekend at Stunned Towers first.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:22, Reply)
*jealous*

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:25, Reply)
I should be a giggle
If previous sessions with those attending are anything to go by!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:27, Reply)
Answering on the left

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:29, Reply)
See you over <-----

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:30, Reply)
3 weeks, it's gonna be awesome.
Sorry to hear that, keep at it, the only reason people don't have a job is because they don't try hard enough, the Government said that so it must be true.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:58, Reply)
I bet it is, have a fantastic time
And very true. It doesn't help with the ghostwriting Margaret Thatcher over everything
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:00, Reply)
Does everyone want to know where I'm staying in malaysia
YEAH YOU DO!
onehotelhelang.com/
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:34, Reply)
Thankyou for enriching my life with your post.
It was both edifying and entertaining.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:35, Reply)
I've got to pack shit into you soon!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:37, Reply)
Sounds like my kind of holiday

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:38, Reply)
Erk...
I'll make a point of stretching my arsehole especially.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:51, Reply)
The landing page makes it look like a branch of SpecSavers.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:35, Reply)
I thought that as well.
Still look at the guest rooms bit
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:36, Reply)
'only 3 minutes walking distance and the Mahsuri International Exhibition Centre (MIEC)'
Wow. Sounds like the most idyllic spot.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:57, Reply)
Bridget Jones on bluray.
Amazing stuff.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:14, Reply)
Singleton's night in right there.
All you need is a couple of bottles of wine and cat to cry your single tears into, and you're done.

Note to self- buy a cat.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:16, Reply)
What did that Doris say about the flowers?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:17, Reply)
I suffer from hayfever, you fucking bastard?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:33, Reply)
Evening DG

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:35, Reply)
Evening Jeffers.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:55, Reply)
Alright DG
the first person I thought of when I saw this link was you 28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly61ngxdDT1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg (I know you saw it on facebook)
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:41, Reply)
Alright Amberl?
Ha, yes I remember that one. I liked it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
Not bad thanks
any luck on the job front?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
Not yet,
although the online feedback from my Jobcentre application looks positive based on the online assessment I did. I'm in the 80% suitable bracket apparently, but they haven't properly sifted the application yet so I don't know if I have an interview as yet.

You?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:10, Reply)
No luck at all
and no word back from the internship I was really hoping to at least get an interview with
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:12, Reply)
uurgh.
Keep plugging away, and good luck.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:18, Reply)
She was absolutely over the moon.
And gave me a stream of texts about how she's head over heels for thee. My favourite text being "You had me at hello. Actually you had me at 'do you want a line' but who's keeping tabs".
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
Bless.
She sounds like a keeper Baz.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:46, Reply)
I did say she was perfect.
I've been out with girls before where we had nothing in common with regards to going out/music/TV shows and all that jazz. With her now I'm the one that struggles to keep up with all the indulgences and shenanigans. Which is saying quite a lot.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:53, Reply)
Thus the jealousy
have a good time
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:30, Reply)
You'll get ti enjoy their company on the cider boat.
So that's something to look forward to!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:31, Reply)
Leave her alone
We've got enough!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:33, Reply)
Evening Stunned!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:36, Reply)
Alright Champ?
Done the cooking, done "the bizz", am enjoying a nice glass of claret. Is it 1875?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:38, Reply)
By the 'bizz' do you mean you've paid the congestion charge?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:38, Reply)
.......erm, yes.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:40, Reply)
*Nods knowingly*
I'll bet you've got to pay it again by Saturday.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:40, Reply)
It was a 5 day pay forward.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:42, Reply)
So there isn't a congestion charge.
A bit like a 'pre pay' key for those who strive to fiddle the 'leccy.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:45, Reply)
I call it mingefiddlin'

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:46, Reply)
How much have you dropped on the key for the weekend?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:49, Reply)
A kilo

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:52, Reply)
You've bought a kilo of pre-pay electric?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:57, Reply)
*reconsiders going*

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:41, Reply)
True!
Depending on date I may be offer accommodation to the benighted as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:33, Reply)
AIDS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:36, Reply)
Fruitellaids.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:38, Reply)
I have just jizzed on your weekend pillow!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:39, Reply)
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:40, Reply)
I'd have been quite happy with a chocolate mint.
You really are spoiling me.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:40, Reply)
Monsieur, whizz zis spernk, ewe are really spoiling uzz.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:41, Reply)
I did an AIDS spunk on your chocolates.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:42, Reply)
Icing the log.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
All your spunks are AIDS infected.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
All your AIDS are belong to us.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:47, Reply)
Kiss kiss
Bang bang
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:50, Reply)
You are the amBADASSador.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:43, Reply)
Like, rilly spoiling my fanny.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
You took this literally from my fingertips

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
Isn't that a Meatloaf lyric?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:45, Reply)
Shot throooooough the heart

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:47, Reply)
A cock in the arse and you're to blame 'cos you give love a bad name.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:47, Reply)
You give love, a bad name.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:48, Reply)
That ain't Meatloaf. Bon Jovi.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:48, Reply)
Union been on strike, innit.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:50, Reply)
Pfft I know
I'll do anything for love but correctly quote lyrics
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:50, Reply)
Take me to bed now or lose me for evah!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:51, Reply)
*mavericks*

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:51, Reply)
*smuggles*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:53, Reply)
*thinks about a rewatch of Top Gun*

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:54, Reply)
Gets popcorn
You Zooey minx
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:54, Reply)
You feel the need the need for
Speed, Coke, Pills, LSD, Crack.......
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
And that's just to get through the bits of the film
that have Kelly McGillis in them
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:59, Reply)
Goodness gracious.
Great balls of fire!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:00, Reply)
*Decides Amberl must be a gay man*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:55, Reply)
Wasn't it evident?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
*pops head round door*
least convincing bloke ever
*buggers off to bed*
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:58, Reply)
You out to play on Saturday?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:58, Reply)
no mate, sorry
big family bash
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:21, Reply)
Never mind.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:21, Reply)
She is Zooey Deschannel
HAWT!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
I think there is a reference I'm missing here
but take Jeff's word for it, I'm clearly a gay man ref: Top Gun
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:06, Reply)
You stink.
Top Gun ref
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:12, Reply)
You massive gaylord
also a Top Gun ref.

And unsurprisingly, an autocomplete
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:16, Reply)
Oooh, check out Amberl.
She's too close for missiles and she's switching to guns.

In other news, Stunned has bogies all over him.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:17, Reply)
Wipes beak.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:20, Reply)
Best written French accent evah!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:43, Reply)
Gid moaning.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
Nicole.
Papa.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:44, Reply)
I am faggot excited 'bout Saturday!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:46, Reply)
I'm not.
I remember how fucking rough I was on the Sunday after my last visit to see 'Team Danger'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:55, Reply)
I'm hurt by your trepidation.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:58, Reply)
Well I won't be going so large lunchtime this weekend.
And I intend eating.

It'll be mint.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:59, Reply)
Mint?
Mojitos?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:01, Reply)
Mint is good.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
Not to boast here.
But I make the best mojitos.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:17, Reply)
Dream on, my friend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:20, Reply)
Fresh limes, home-made sugar syrup, and just for a bit of a difference, frozen birch sap for the ice.
Oh my.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:23, Reply)
A mojito was my downfall at New Year...
It made me fall down.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:27, Reply)
Mojitos, if properly handled, are the very tool of the devil.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:34, Reply)
I had drank a few beers
several glasses of wine and a couple of champagnes by that point. Going outside for a smoke seemed a good idea, but trying to re-enter the flat my legs refused to cooperate and I collapsed in a heap. CQ had to help me back up the stairs.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:36, Reply)
Hahaha...
*Wine meet monitor*
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:44, Reply)
We went to Edinburgh the next day...
8 hours on the piss... I got home, and again went downstairs for a smoke. At which point my legs decided they would delegate the task of descending the stairs to my arse.

Ouch.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 1:04, Reply)
I'm praying you get a new job DG
The cider boat followed by Christmas Steps in Bristol = LOLs for all (bar you).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 1:10, Reply)
It's not a normal occurrence Jeff.
I think I was just ready for a bit of a blowout that weekend, but went a bit too far.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 1:23, Reply)
Think of the fun you could have at Christmas Steps!
www.bbc.co.uk/bristol/content/articles/2004/07/12/christmas_steps_feature.shtml
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 1:28, Reply)
HIV?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:41, Reply)
AIDS
AIDS
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:39, Reply)
Are you channelling Rock Hudson?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:47, Reply)
AIDS, my friend, AIDS.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:49, Reply)
Xxxxxxxxxx

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:54, Reply)
That's one way of putting it I suppose

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:51, Reply)
AIDS lols

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:53, Reply)
"Actually, I'm dying, slowly?"

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
tinderstickslols

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:59, Reply)
Now imagine that in Doris Day's voice
ten times better
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:00, Reply)
Works better in Adele's.
Or perhaps Eva Cassidy's.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:07, Reply)
I know you've all been dreadfully concerned
but you needn't be anymore, I am now at home
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
Thank god for that.
I'll have a beer to celebrate.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:56, Reply)
That's good to know.
Fucking hell I hate this time of year. Smug people all over Facebook (I gave in) with people saying how much they love each other and pictures of chocolate and flowers and twosomes in restaurants. It's enough to make a man vomit, I swear.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 23:57, Reply)
Swear. Then vomit?
My balls ache after sex.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:00, Reply)
so do my thighs.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:02, Reply)
I have very powerful thighs.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:03, Reply)
I hope I never experience them.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:07, Reply)
Oh my.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:14, Reply)
For me, the two tend to happen at the same time.
*Retch* *Vomit* *Swear*

Rinse and repeat until done.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:04, Reply)
Going to keep a diplomatic silence here
as i've been in a smug couple before. Not Facebook smug, but still...
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:02, Reply)
You out this weekend, champ?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
I have a frozen poop. You up for Saturday?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
I shat out in the garden the other day.
Just under the azalea. It's still there unless the foxes got it.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:05, Reply)
Ahhhh! The North.
There was a fire in the crapper but likely it didn't spread up the garden to the house.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:08, Reply)
Nah, outside shitters?
We're proper Northerners where I live. We shit in a pot during the night and lob it out the window in the morning.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:15, Reply)
Hahahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:17, Reply)
Oh yes.
Not to mention working 28 hours a day, having to pay our bosses for the privilege.

Seriously it's so backwards here that fire is viewed with suspicion.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:22, Reply)
Yes/no/maybe
I am proper povvo. It has been an expensive month. I may be bailing on social engagements entirely. We'll see.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:07, Reply)
We could bring a cool box with us, so your bot-dogs stay firmer for longer.
If that influences your decision to attend or not.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:09, Reply)
If I don't, you can be sure I'll miss the sparkling repartee
and the stimulating cut and thrust of intellectual debate.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:11, Reply)
By which I mean frozen poo jokes
obv
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:12, Reply)
That's why we need you there.
Otherwise I'll be forced to put cash in the Jukebox of the pub, just to watch Monty go into meltdown as I put 'Bowies greatest hits' on repeat.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:12, Reply)
What's wrong with David Bowie?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:22, Reply)
If there's any of that
My fists will fly.

Pissed silence or I'll want to know the reason for the din.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:13, Reply)
A night with Stunned
At the lowest level of granularity.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:14, Reply)
Granularity?
You contract speaking cunt!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:17, Reply)
ha.
You love it!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:19, Reply)
I will shout you 15 quids worth of beer.
Come for a couple of hours.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:10, Reply)
And I'll bring a cool box.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:11, Reply)
If I can scrape together some cash of my own to supplement.
I shall seriously consider it. Cheers, boys.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:13, Reply)
I dare say I can run to a few 'Kroney pints' too.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:14, Reply)
If nothing else, I will be hitting jeffstock
with balls fully out. Hotel booked and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:19, Reply)
Woo!
Although my beer offer might be withdrawn by then!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:21, Reply)
Love you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:22, Reply)
You are, seriously, welcome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 0:14, Reply)
this thread makes me dispair for humanity

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:06, Reply)

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