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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Funny/children's names/murder.
1. Which of the current circuit comedians do you find funny? I am v keen on Miles Jupp at the moment. Conversely Russell Kane makes me want to drink bleach.

2. Imagine you are expecting twins, a boy and a girl. What christian names would you give them?

3. You can kill one person with no comeback whatsoever. Who do you choose and why?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:21, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
1. Stuart Lee - his bitterness strikes a chord with me.
2. Only Bible names are acceptable, trendy names or naming your child after a season, or car or where you poked your revolting Mrs to inseminate her vinegar womb are unacceptable.
3. What a question!!! I can't answer that, there are far too many because of a huge spectrum of different grievances I have.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Are you saying my daughter has an unacceptable name?
YOU ARE AREN'T YOU?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Non-Bible=yep.
I'M SORRY!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:30, Reply)
June and Golf

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)
June Whitfield?
I didn't know she did stand up.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:28, Reply)
She's a multitalented woman
and a fucking hottie to boot.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)
I would.
Dripping off her dentures.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:32, Reply)
No. he wants to kill her.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)
1) John Bishop is my favourite new comedian. I am the same as you when it comes to Russell Kane, and I feel the same with Jack Whitehall.
2) David & Emily

3) Chris Moyles, because it would improve radio as a whole.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)
John Bishop? Scouse observational humour?
You'll be saying you like Jenny Eclair and the other fat bird next.

Periods.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I can't stand female comedians
Shazia Mirza made me laugh once, but aside from that, they're shit.

And yes, I quite like John Bishop.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:32, Reply)
I preferred him when he was in the Happy Mondays.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Wrong city

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)
*shrugs*
Northern, innit.

He looks like Bez. The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:59, Reply)
This is true

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'd do ten years for Eclair.
And I'd smile every day.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:36, Reply)
John Bishop
Irritating, Scouse, shiney suited, unfunny, creepy looking, child molesting, unfunny, scourge of our times, fucking unfunny cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Change the word scouse, and you're just describing Chompy there

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Needs MOAR rape

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:44, Reply)
Jim Jeffries is fucking funny
try this on for size: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)
I think some further youtube investigation is in order.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Because that was shit, or because it was good?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Alcoholocaust is brilliant.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:53, Reply)
It's also the name of a Sore Throat LP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:56, Reply)
Loving that Ted Nugent live album.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Cat Scratch Fever and his self-titled debut are his best studio LPs.
He was also in the Amboy Dukes in the 60s, good US psychedelia if you like that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I will have a listen. Cheers.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:09, Reply)
2. kid and play
3. you, obviously, to stop the TERRIBLE BULLYING
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:42, Reply)
1. Stuart Lee and Miles Jupp, Reginald D Hunter andGreg Davies are very good too.
2.Hector and Sarah

3.Michael Gove at the moment I think.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:47, Reply)
What about Gordon CLOWN and Tony BLIAR eh? eh? eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Hector. Different.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Comment. Ambiguous.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:53, Reply)
Space. The, final frontier.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:55, Reply)
Would you rather move to another planet or build underwater cities?
this was the conversation my housemate and I had last night when baked.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Kroney. Give AA's account back

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:57, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I couldn't help but read their comments in Shatner's voice

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:01, Reply)
As a classicist I like it as a name.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:57, Reply)

He was always my favourite character. And it's a strong name I think.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Reginald D Hunter is well lol

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Simon Evans and his sketch about newcastle is excellent
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWb5Qx1X3as

monty I suspect this will be right up your street
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:51, Reply)
I cannot see this at work but thanks for the tip.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 10:59, Reply)
It makes me lol heartily

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:07, Reply)
This chap is one of my old schoolfriends:
www.myspace.com/paulmccaffreycomedy

He's doing pretty well for himself and is fucking hilarious company for boozing etc - I've not seen his act though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:03, Reply)
My comedian friend isn't funny.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:05, Reply)
maybe he should rethink his career

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:09, Reply)
He does very well, own show on telly etc, just don't find him funny.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:10, Reply)
what's his name then?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:11, Reply)
russell howard

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
I knew you were going to say that
as I have seen his tv program and the only thing funny about it is his gammy eye
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I think having a weekly series that is an hour long it must be hard to maintain the lols
but still it's pretty pap
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I think if you gave Russell Howard an annual series that was a minute long, he'd still find it hard to maintain the lols.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:20, Reply)
He just isn't funny.
I find him to be a like a naughty sixth-former.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
and not the good kind
*cannot unsee Russell Howard in miniskirt and thigh highs*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
OMG I KNOW HIM!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:19, Reply)
i like tim minchin
alt: god knows. alex james and amber rose maybe? depends on the surname. not much goes with swipe.

alt alt: my trainee. she is about 24 and very slim and healthy. so why, why, why does she breathe like an asthmatic 20 year old broken-winded racehorse making an obscene phone call? WHY?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:06, Reply)
I surprised you'd name your first boy that after Blur's performance last night
also, mornin'
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:08, Reply)
mmmmmm
damon albarn
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:10, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_James_(musician)
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Blur are shit anyway

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
I watched a Tim Minchin live show on TV just to make sure that I wasn't mistaken
but no, he definitely is a cunt after all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:08, Reply)
A ginger australian fag cunt at that

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:09, Reply)
You are both very wrong.
But I get used to that.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:11, Reply)
He tries way, way too hard to be 'clever' and comes across as a fucking helmet in the process.
Plus, with very, very few exceptions, music+comedy= fucking awful

The case against:

Stilgoe
Carrott
Digance
Wood (Victoria)
The Two Ronnies songs
Fucking loads of other wankers

The case for:

Conchords
Spinal Tap
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
yes, and he's one of the exceptions.
Along with Baby Wants Candy.

I can't really think of any others though.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Correct on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)
See, when Nakers agrees with you, it makes you a bent spastic.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Bizarrely, it actually makes YOU one.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:16, Reply)
Have you ever heard any Stephen Lynch?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Nein.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
He's the best musical comedian I've heard

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
man i loved flight of the conchords first series
2nd one not so much
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Same here

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I'll give you those two too yes. And I'll add 'A Mighty Wind'
So we have

Tim Minchin
Baby Wants Candy
Flight of The Conchords
Spinal Tap
A Mighty Wind

And I'm also adding Cracked Out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVswS8XE5UI) and The Manson Family Singers (http://www.myspace.com/mansonfamilysingers)

So actually, it's not all shit.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:19, Reply)
And Bon Jovi.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
...who doesn't wear shoes onstage like a fucking vagrant.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:12, Reply)
unlike you, who doesn't wear shoes to Aldi and is now banned

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
he wears eye makeup cos he's dead wacky
and sings songs about how wrong religion is, cor he's brill
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:16, Reply)
A ginger Russell Brand - BRILLIANT!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:16, Reply)
oh no his whole spiel is 'omg i can done a sex lol prithee thee forsooth lol etc'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:18, Reply)
"I have a vocabulary larger than that of the average man
and so I shall disseminate my impressive lexical girth with unnecessary loquaciousness as it transcends mediocrity and definitely doesn't make me look like a prick"

-Russell "Leather trousers don't make me look like a cunt" Brand / Tim "Eye make up doesn't make me look like a half-dead crack whore" Minchin.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
You're all idiots.
And with that, better be off before I get busted again.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
It's a click from me.
You are on good form at the mo.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I am feeling unusually bitter.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:26, Reply)

I really like Miles Jupp too as it happens. Terry Alderton is in fantastic form at the moment too. The Boy With Tape On His Face and Frisky & Mannish both blew me away at Edinburgh in the summer and Ed Byrne has been a favourite for years, even Mock The Week can't make me hate him. Stewart Lee, predictably and alway.

but still mainly Terry Alderton at the moment, he's gone from run of the mill stand up to a proper, unique, class act somewhere over the last few years.


Alt: Terry & June

AltAlt: Terry Waite. But really, that's only because I appear to have developed a Terry theme and may as well keep it going.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:10, Reply)
And out of loyalty, as I know her and she is one of the people I have studied Improv with
www.deborahfrances-white.com/

Her show is by all accounts fantastic, although I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen it myself to confirm this.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
aw, are you and whatsername expecting? congrats
1 i don'#t really find anyone but myself funny, i'm very niche in my comedy tastes

2 i'd call a boy giovanni and a girl Syfts, after my favourite gun wielding gansta

3 i would never hurt or harm anyone, i'm a spacifist
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Alright Lazarus? you little gobshite.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
oh right so now its ok to take the piss out of people with serious health complaints is it?
you gigaton of wasteflesh
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I hope your mother dies in a freak knitting accident.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:20, Reply)
i hope that you attain the weight that you are aiming for, complete your course with honors, find the girl of your dreams and settle down to a wonderful future

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
(hahahaha, like THAT will ever happen)

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Is he one of those people trying to put on weight to qualify for a gastrict band?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
at least then he would have an excuse

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Wanna bet? I am off to uni now so gazme, I'll take this bet.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
ok whats a fair time period ten years?
If you're married and gainfully employed in ten years time i will rim rachelswipe
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
SYFTS for a girl?
Thanks, buddy. You're really sweet.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)

x
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:15, Reply)
syftsalis more like
in your case
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:20, Reply)
yes, because i put it about so much

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Spacifist?
You agree with violence except against flids?

Edit: Or, arguably, aliens.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
damn those alien scum

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
1. I can't think of a comedian who makes me laugh anymore
I seem to be becoming more and more of a miserable cunt. I like my comedians to be miserable misanthropists too.
2. I dunno, Bonnie and Clyde or something.
3. One is never enough.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
1. I did until recently really like Frankie Boyle, but I think he's just trying to constantly out-do himself these days
Female comedians, in general, make me want to put my boot through the telly. Yes love, I understand that you're a woman/a lesbian/a Nigerian/a lolfatty/etc but could you just, please, for the love of god, just say something funny?

2. Sodom and Gomorrah. Very Christian. Or Fire and Brimstone.

3. My mental ex-GF and her mental friend are bubbling up my hit list at quite an alarming rate, but failing that, I'll go for Piers Morgan or Kelvin MacKenzie.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Gina Yashere
She's WELL funny.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:19, Reply)
^^ Sarcasm. On the internet.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:21, Reply)
And Shappi Khorsandi
With her brilliant Iranian shtick. LMAO.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
see below
'I'm Iranian and divorced LOLOLOL'
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:24, Reply)
She isn't funny
but she gets me right in the trousers. Phwoarrr. Get in etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Is that becasue her skin is shit coloured?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Oh man YES. SO FUNNY.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Shabby Poshara* is HILARIOUS

*may not be spelt correctly
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I can feel her spittle come through my TV screen
and her neck mole makes me feel ill
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:22, Reply)
women are not funny
women cannot be funny (on tv), its just a fact
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Sarah Millican. Hopeless.
She sold the 5th highest amount of comedy DVD's in the UK last year.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Dear God why?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
No idea.
She's not like McIntyre, he's a comedians comedian.

Toasters? Bloody hell, brilliant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Lots of tables were sold that year with a wonky leg

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:31, Reply)
That would never happen in Star Trek with hover tables
amateurds
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:39, Reply)
Jordan was the best selling author
It might be time to kill ourselves
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
And yet her entire routine consists of
"I'm a bit of a hopeless lolfatty Geordie bird and I'm shit with men"

"I wouldn't touch her with yours! *****" - Paul Ross, The Sun
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:27, Reply)
most irritating voice almost ever

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I'm afraid I have to be tarred with that same brush too, then.
Possessing, as I do, a particularly soft, posh, high pitched, Violet Elizabeth Bott type voice.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
She hasa geordie accent...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
You don't like Andi Osho?
She seems to at least draw on something other than 'I'm Nigerian'. I mean, she does use it, but it's not the basis of every routine she ever does.

But what do I know? I'm a woman, and therefore not funny or right.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Andi Osho does not play the Nigerian card like Gina Yashere.
But her "jokes" are just not funny. I find it difficult to tell if she is mid-routine or introducing the next act.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
She's funnier than Jason fucking Manford

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
*twiddles moustache*
sends b3th a text.

He's the pervert? Right?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
I believe so

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:38, Reply)
"There were these two kids locked in my dungeon......"

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:39, Reply)
So's syphilis

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Isn't that Quentin's daughter?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:46, Reply)
D:<

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Morning benders
Having recently stocked up on the glut of xmas stand up DVDs, I can say I really enjoyed Alan Carr's show. I know he's not the most popular, but he makes me laugh.

See also Danny Bhoy, who has a lovely voice and is cute too.

Alt: Hamish and Delilah. I don't know, I haven't really thought too much about kids' names. Not something I'm ever going to have to deal with.

Alt Alt: Royal Mail. Individually. Every bastard one of them.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Alan Carr?
I'd take great pleasure in stamping that screaming mary's face into the concrete for hours on end. Christ, I hate his voice.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
get your blood pressure checked
its ok to not like someone, but you don't have to watch it and getting that wound up ain't helthy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Blood pressure is fine, got a checked a month back
But thank you for your concern
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)
i hope you don't have corvid obesioty too, its a very serious illness

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Nope, only standard obesity
I'm fairly slim at the minute though, need to start losing weight properly
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
slimmer than that pic on flickr of your face in close up?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:39, Reply)
A little
That is a terrible picture though
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:42, Reply)
phwor
Hero of the people!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:44, Reply)
Fucking hell, that was a while back
My first bash!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I hope you have washed your hair since then

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:49, Reply)
You really don't photograph well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I know this, it's rare for me to like a photo of myself
There was a recent one of me holding my nephew I quite liked
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:47, Reply)
this sounds like something an ugly person would say
IT WAS THE CAMERAS FAULT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:48, Reply)
I know I'm ugly, that's hardly a secret

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:52, Reply)
your beautiful on the inside, thats what counts
stay that way, for me?
x
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:53, Reply)
OK Quinten, for you.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:56, Reply)
xxxxx

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:03, Reply)
You seemed to survive your bout of this horror disease
how'd ya do it?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
i had an injayction

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
in your bottom?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:46, Reply)
no, somebody else's

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Alt alt: Agreed.
My daily post is no good at 4pm!!

I dislike nearly as much as tube drivers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I don't see the point in morning post
unless it arrives before 8am when i go to work, otherwise it may as well arrive at 6pm
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)
It should be there before you go to work.
It was in the 80's!!!!! 'Member the 80's?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
no, iwasn't old enough to get post in the 80's
even if it arrived before work, I wouldn't have time to deal with anything until the evening
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:40, Reply)
But you can take it to work to deal.
In someone else's time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
I put in a claim for £150 for something they broke in transit
having made sure it was sent by Special Delivery in case of such an eventuality.
They sent me a book of six first class stamps and called the job a good 'un.

Cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
you probably shouldn't use london underground as a delivery system

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
How do you break a metric fuckton of pizza?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)
WITH A KNIFE1!!111

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:42, Reply)
and lo jesus did break the Sloppy Giuseppe and say, this is my pizza fuck off and get your own

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:50, Reply)
I go to quite a bit of comedy
there is fuck all else to go do here in the frozen Cumbrian wasteland:

Among the best I have seen recently
Mark Thomas (his Walking the Wall and the radio show one)
Marcus Brigstoke
Craig Campbell
and I was pleasantly surprisded by Richard Herrings what is love show.

I would call them Boy and Girl

and of course I would shot Cameron just so we could see what Cleggy boy is like when in charge all those fucked off Tories would cheer me up to
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I really don't like Mark Thomas.
At least he had the honesty to drop the word 'comedy' from the title of his television prorgramme.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:00, Reply)
You are of course
wrong, but entitled to your opinion... The programmes got a bit righteous I admit but the live show I mentioned is very good.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:05, Reply)
On that I cannot comment,
but his 'ooh I've driven a tank to Downing Street TO MAKE A POLITICAL POINT' shit was one of the worst examples of right-on student wankery I have ever seen. And I've seen Ben Elton.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:07, Reply)
I bet he throws fire extinguishers off buildings
then cries when he is forced to stay put for 6 hours
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:08, Reply)
I know what you mean
But I thought the bit where he tried to get MP's arrested for performing political interviews outside of the HoP in violation of laws they voted in quite clever and amusing...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:31, Reply)
the office of Deputy prime minister is not legally binding
Clegg would not automatically be in charge.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:01, Reply)
yes it is
(well actually it would mean Hauge in charge) fucksocks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I've been to see Richard Herrings a few times.
I quite like him.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:03, Reply)
I was surprised at how good he was
He is the forgotten man
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:30, Reply)
Mrcus Brigstocke on the 3 Abrahamic faiths is excellent

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Jim Jeffries is brilliant
the bit about the vibrating egg made me laugh until my sides genuinely ached.
I've never thought much about boys names but I like Rose for a girl.
My boss, currently. It's been one of those sorts of weeks.
(berk, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:00, Reply)
rose is a fat girl name

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:02, Reply)
And you're a cunt, what of it?

(berk, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:03, Reply)
just makin conversation

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:04, Reply)
oh Monty Montzingleton, are you expecting?
How far along are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Hopefully not, my darling.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:08, Reply)

1} I'm seeing Reginald D Hunter this month I think.

2) Dexter and Susie. I think.

3) I have an answer but I'm a cunt if I even consider it seeing as it's a mate who's annoying me royally.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Did he steal your jacket?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:10, Reply)
He's trying to steal something.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Is it your viginity?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:11, Reply)
oh wait greg davies is alright

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:10, Reply)
He looks like Rik Mayall with elephantitis.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Rhod Gilbert described him
as the bloated corpse of Rik Mayall. I thought that was good.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:14, Reply)
Rhod Gilbert is much better live than on TV.
But this still only makes him slightly above average.

Chicken pot pie soup, thanks for asking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:19, Reply)
rhod gilbert is the worst comedian in all history
HAHAHAHA I AM AN ANGRY LOUD WELSH HAHAHAH ANGRY LOUD HAHAHAH WELSH!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:19, Reply)
I find that quite funny, though.
I also quite like Alan Davies and he just talks about his cats. I am not difficult to make laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:21, Reply)
Or sexually arouse with excreta.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:23, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1538650
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:24, Reply)
My internet will not allow flickr.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:43, Reply)

www.flickr.com/photos/warmfuzzyfeeling/2995183556/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:23, Reply)
There was (and maybe still is)
a little comedy club just off covent garden that did cheap nights and Alan Davies compared there


more facts as they come in folks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:35, Reply)
i saw some routine he did at the weekend which was a bit creepy
he got a thai massage and i was like wtf?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:19, Reply)
Chris Addison
Is also very good live...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:33, Reply)
I'm not surprised
He was great as DCI Burnside....
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Don Biswas
A great new comedian, some proper funny one- liners!
(Stibbins, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 1:14, Reply)

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