Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Army, Navy or Airforce; which would you join if you had to and why?Alt: What's the most dangerous thing you have ever done? (your mum answers will require you to dyaaky)
alt alt:fuck knows, ever been to the circus, I haven't because they are shit and cruel to animals.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:31,
244 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
My grandfather was a general in the army.My father was briefly a pilot.
I see myself more in the 'cowardice' bracket.
Alt: DMT
Alt alt: no, I couldn't give a shit about the animals, they're just shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:34,
Reply)
You can be in the wrens for the alliesor the 'Joy Division' for the Narziis
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:35,
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Monty is currently stuck in Homs(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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+ a
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:37,
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I was going to use this as a joke for Darth's continued absence(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:38,
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NavyMy bessie mate Stu was in the Navy for 8 years and his stories are fucking legendary! Ending up on Carribean Uncovered and being bollocked by his boss, ending up with him having to paint an entire church white on one of the islands for a week. Stealing a 6' Ronald McDonald and driving round the island with it in the passenger seat of a jeep. The phantom raspberry blower on the ship's comms, all good fun
Alt:
No. Clowns are fucking terrifying
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:34,
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He is a top geezerYou and him would get on famously
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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Listen Stu, that's the sixth time in a row that I've caught you swapping the salt and pepper tops, you really are an unfunny prick(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:41,
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Are you suggesting that he is inefficient?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:37,
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Does he post on qotw?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:43,
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air force, but i'm afraid of flying so i'd like to be the man that puts the wheels on the europhighters(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:35, Reply)
None of the above. My Dad was a sargeant major, I've done my time. Alt: Wreck diving but it's not that dangerous. Probably going on an all day session with Montgomery Boyce. I had the shakes for 3 days.
Alt alt: Nah, fucking gyppos innit.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Hahahahahaha. He fucking hated gay people so much there is no way. Despite my pleading.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)
That's what I said. Rough, tough soldier can't survive a diet of munchy boxes for a few years.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Mine wasn't either. He was turned down three times. Ha ha ha.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:44,
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poor old man b3th, i bet he would have been the best army man ever(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:45, Reply)
He really was. Just not officer material. Not enough of a cunt, you see.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:46,
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i've known some forces officers in my time and i can verify this statement(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Course you have. Loads of them, I expect.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:08,
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I'm the only one in my family who has never been in the army.I think I might have to be a conshie.
Alt: death leap 2011
Alt alt: I have. It was shit.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:36,
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McDonalds is not the same as the army, old son.Although the social status and pay are comparable.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:40,
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I am a three star general in macdonaldshere me roar
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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My mum and dad were both in the army when they met.Grandad, uncle, brother... everyone's been in but me. I don't react well to people shouting at me. Apparently they look down on that kind of attitude.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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Until they realised he was a deaf mong, yes. Briefly. Black Watch.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:43,
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Not with my pedigree.I'd have the fucker squarebashing just for looking at me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:53,
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Black Watch is the new trading name of the KKK.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:44,
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Black Watch is Monty's to and from work activity(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:57,
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I have a friend who went to the circus and Dave Benson Phillips helped him onto an elephantI challenge you to come up with a better euphemism
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Look at his face, it's shitand nI remember him being intensely annoying
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:42,
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Hahaha apparently his career was almost ruined by people on the internet spreading rumours that he had died(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Conscientious objectorI will wear my white feather with pride.
Alt: I lead a life of caution.
Altalt: I took little tangle to the circus once, we got to the interval and he asked "Do we have to go back in for the second half?" To which I replied "No we fucking don't, let's go!"
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:39,
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The AirforceAll those videogames would make me an excellent pilot. I think I'd probably be good at killing people, what with being on b3ta...
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:42, Reply)
I was in the RAF cadetsand only didn't join up because I missed out on a flying scholarship for uni.
Alt: the list is fairly long, fuck knows. couple of fairly hairy incidents in offshore yacht races. Tombstoning a disused slate quarry. Any number of idiotic pieces of skiing.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:45,
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I was in the Navy cadets, it was good fun.We just fucked around in dinghies mainly.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:52,
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They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit.IN THE NAVY...
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I got about half of my private pilot's licence from it.disappointigly but rather obviously I couldn't afford to finish it at uni though
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:54,
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My pal Chris has hisand a part-share of a Cessna. I must go for a spin some time. I got one lesson for a birthday present a few years ago and it was fucking brilliant!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:56,
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I prefer not to be shot, so none.Pissed abseiling, for a laugh. And pissed scaffolding, for work.
As a kid, I remember I cried for some reason. Then again, I cried when meeting Santa, and forced onto his knee, so amybe I was just a wuss.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:46, Reply)
maybe you just had strong paedosense.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:47,
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My paedosense is tingling.No, son, that's just your arse. Now stop struggling.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:49,
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which one has the hottest uniform for the men?i'll join that one.
alt: nothing legal. enough said.
altalt: i don't think so. i watched "water for elephants" the other week. the book is SO MUCH better than the film.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:52,
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i dated someone whose father was in the SSfor four years. four years of him getting cunted and rambling on and on and on about his "blue eyed brothers" and "what a great job they did, 6,000,000 cunts to go". urrrrgh, vile.
anyway, the SS would have soon shot him, the pasty bespectacled bedshitting waste of non-super-race skin.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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His picture showed him to be the least Aryan person I've ever seen.And I'm including Kriss Akabusi in this list.
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Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:00,
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i am willing to admit, right herethat i ordered a genuine army uniform from the internet, with personalised dog tags with mine and my girlfriends anniversary date as the serial number, for me to where for my girlfriend on valentines day
she liked it
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:57, Reply)
riiiiightbut army uniforms are hot because they are draped over 6-packs of silk and steel and worn by uber-macho men with thousand yard stares.
you have breached the trade descriptions act, i would say.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:02,
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ah i didn't look bad in it to be fair, theres something about the way they're fitted that make you look buff(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:04, Reply)
Course you didn't. That's right.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:09,
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Course you did.Course she did.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:01,
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course it iscourse you are
am i doing it right?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:16,
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You should join the Mahayana BuddhistsTheir uniforms can be pretty hot
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:57,
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you know i will never click a link of yoursafter rabbit-gate
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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Even I'd struggle to shoehorn in a Woundwort reference to this(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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haha since when was relevance relevant around here?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:02,
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that's one hell of a tongue twisteryou must be a diamond at oral sex
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:15,
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Navy, probablyAlt: Arguing with a ned in Hill Head is one of the stupidest things I've ever done, not sure if that counts as dangerous though. Currently wanting to do a parachute jump though.
Alt Alt: Nope, never.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:55,
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I was another one that was in the Air Cadets. I'd have joined up but I became ineligible for combat flying and I didn't fancy any of the other branches. Nowadays, probably the Navy. I have, however, grown old and fat and cowardly and I like my nice, safe desk.
Alt: Well, I've nearly been killed in car accidents, by armed junkies, by gang members and by a hotel. I've done a lot of stupid shit. Again, I am now old and fat and cowardly.
Alt alt: Yes I have. It was awesome.
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Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:56,
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aye, I didn't fit in Tornado ejector seats (insert whatever lolfatty gag you like) so that limited my interest and all
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:19,
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what's with the sig, dude?been shagging eastern european hookers again?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:25,
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gotta keep my pimping hand strong, darling.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:30,
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yeah, that won't help.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:31,
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Navy - I already have some experience of warshipsAlthough I quite fancied being a sniper at one time.
Most dangerous thing I've done? - Worked in the Ukraine and Bulgaria with some very dodgy people, I'm very glad I don't do that any more!
Never been to the circus and I don't feel any the worse for that.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:56, Reply)
I think I'd start drinking again rather than join the services. They can't make me fly a plane if I don't know which of the two I'm seeing I should get in.Circuses are shit. I don't know how something manages to be both boring and creepy at the same time.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:57,
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That sounds familiar.Where have I read that before?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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you post on here dailyand you "don't know how something manages to be both boring and creepy at the same time"
do i have to name names?!?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:03,
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i'm not in a childish mood todayi'll just say this two weeks is bloody brilliant :)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:15,
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Actually, fuck it, I'd join The Navy.I like seals.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:58,
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You've blown a few in your time(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:14,
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Friends' Ambulance UnitAlt: riding, pissed out of my head in heavy traffic. never again.
AltAlt: prolly when I was a kid, I don't remember.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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Airforce so I could listen to playing with the boys whilst playing volleyball.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:59,
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They'd have to remove a tank from the cargo store or something otherwise the plane wouldn't take off with you on board.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:00,
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Biggles was ginger.At least, that's what I always assumed.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:05,
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If Biggles was ginger, why would he call his ginger mate Ginger? Talk about your hypocrisy.
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Kroney, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:06,
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Skydive on my 30th. Definition of trust = being strapped to someone you've never met before and jumping out of a plane with them at 12,000 feet.Edit: this was it:
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:01,
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Petrified before and on the flight up. Almost shat myself when they slid the door open. Once you stop tumbing and freefall it's awesome. Straps fucking hurt when the parachute deploys.
Wanted to do another straight away.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:07,
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There aren't even any straps thereHe is holding you on by girth alone
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:15,
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He shat himself to make room in his guts for the instructors love length(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Haha - just spotted the mouse-over text(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:18,
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i'm sure the smiles are the wrong way roundgiven which one is behind
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:25,
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Did you not need to be _____ this tall
to go on the ride?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:25,
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I was almost too heavy to do the jump (have lost 3 stone since then).(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:29,
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Well done youI however just ate a fajita as a mid morning snack
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:31,
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I rather fancy one myself now.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:39,
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I had a burrito for tea last nightWhilst it was rather tasty, I wasn't happy about the price of the fucking thing.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:40,
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2 burritos and 2 drinks came to about £19Told my mate he's fucking paying next time.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:05,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:41,
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You know a lot about this "chariots" place. Is there a plaque with your name on in there?
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
Nah, Monty tried dragging me in there a few months ago.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:44,
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Eff that. These drugs are for me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:47,
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I knew there was a height joke to be had from thisWell done.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:29,
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Did sasha walk in wearing nothing but a smile and a curl of smoke from her lambert & Butler(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:34,
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she doesn't smoke, but what an image!tracey's here today, she's like felicity kendal in her forties, and she's wearing like a little floral vest, cor!
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:38,
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She's leaving because your weird fantasy is evaporating in your mind:you were jolted back to reality by the librarian telling you the coach had come.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:51,
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nah i think she has kids to collect and will be back tomorrowi think she is the new sasha, i'm falling in love with her
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joe's just said she's really high maintenance thoapparently she flies off the handle quite alot, but i like em feisty
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Oh look MASSIVE THREAD DELETION.Is Chompy back already?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:34,
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no chompy is away in thailand sitting in bars telling all the ladyboys how BENT they are(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)
Whoa! Why the hostilities? No need to bully me because you and Monty are bonding.
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)
soz stunned, uncalled for wannet?i forgot aboutt he treaty of salsiccia we had signed
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)
urgh, don't, we still have another lovely week of peace this one was probably my fault. i suggested it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:37,
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Alright Legless?Edit: fucksticks.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:44,
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i lost my legs in afghanistan back when i was in the army(i wasn't really in the army and i do have legs)
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:49, Reply)
i admitted it was a lie tho!i said no more lies after that documentary!
(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:50, Reply)
You are the 'Barry Bulsara' of /OT(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:53,
Reply)
Hopefully soon becoming the Derrick Bird of OT (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:56,
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1. Fabricate a peculiar alternate reality staffed by tedious and rather common characters with stupid names2. Pretend you can't spell as part of some other weird fetish, then forget to do that after a while
3. Live in Dorking and post lies from the library
4. ????????
5. Profit
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:55,
Reply)
i am so lost, i think i will really have to go after all this is daft(, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Course it is, Jimmy, that's right.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:58,
Reply)
Never mind that shit!Chuck Norris is extinct!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17179608
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:57,
Reply)
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