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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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BLUBBER.
Are you a crybaby? Do certain things set you off squinnying like a big wet girl*?

Or are you a toughguy?

*After several days of taking E's I once found myself blubbing at 'Five Children and It'. I don't take E's any more.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:11, 162 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I cry with laughter everytime I think about your pitiful life
I hope this helps
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Your missus and I cry with laughter every time (it's two words you flabby-minded buffoon) she mentions your pitiful penis.
I hope the phalloplasty helps.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Or spelling

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
five children and it was cool
the film they made recently looked shit tho
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:13, Reply)
You watched 5 children and it was cool?
You fucking nonce!
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
they were in a sandpit and this creepy old creature came out and granted them wishes

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
i guess i'm a real man cos i don't really cry at all
i can't rmember last time i did

/dead inside
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
/lying as usual

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
/cries

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I almost shed a tear when the kids were born
Bizarrely, I had the old jelly-lip going at an episode of ER many years ago.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:15, Reply)
It was that moment of realistation that you'd never get your own life back
for about twenty years that did it, isn't it?
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
haha!
yes
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
No, it's the fact the kid was black.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
haha!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
hahahaha
This actually happened to a FOF, they moved to Milton Keynes and it was so dull they turned to swinging. She ended up expecting his kid and...wasn't expecting a 'Donnie' to pop out. LOL.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
shamon!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I thought Chompy was white?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
He blacks up to go raping

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I heard he injects his testicles with marmite for the lols.
That way he can deny the kid's his.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:21, Reply)
Love him or hate him

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
hes like the oppersite of eminem.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I think it's traditional on the swinging 'scene' to have a partner to swap.
Just turning up on your tod looking like a horny Kim Jong-il is somewhat frowned upon.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
HAHAHAHA!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I think it's traditional on the swinging 'scene' to have a partner to swap.
Just turning up on your tod looking like a horny Kim Jong-il is somewhat frowned upon.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
You just have to hope that someone can squeeze you in.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)
My laptop is shit.
Expect more Phil-lolz today.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Laptop shit but a good seat?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Great seat. I'm at home on the 'good sofa'*
*the one that hasn't been broken by Stunned. Twice.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:32, Reply)
What a fat cunt

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
can you tell a kids skin colour from the ultrasound?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Ultrasound pics make kids look like aliens anyway

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:21, Reply)
no i don't think sound reflects colours

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
i mean maybe it does, i bet the frequency of the soundwave changes when reflected from different colours
but you'd probably need like a spectron telescope or something to see it
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)
No

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I didn't enjoy the birth of my daughter at all.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Because you weren't there?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
It's cos she pushed him out

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)
I was there, and was the first to hold my daughter when she was born.
I'm quite a softy at heart but the experience did nothing for me at all.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
That is odd
It was an amazing experience for me
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
Different circumstances though I suppose.
My ex and I hated each other's guts by that point
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
True

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
i want to make a joke about how you could see some of her guts, but cant put it into words.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I'm guessing your wife isn't a monumental wanker though

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)
She's not bad

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)
I thought it was incredible, although it was a bit weird when just the head was out
the misses looked like a playing card
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Your missus is black?
/spade
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Tee hee

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Ours was a caesarian, so it all happened behind a screen.
They couldn't believe how much painkiller she needed, they reached the maximum safe amount and she could still feel it. Ex drugwhore, you see.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:29, Reply)
Epidural for the win
she stopped moaning after that.

The funniest bit was when they were "tidying up" and the doctor very nonchelantly said, "I'm just going to stick my finger into your anus" with no explanation as to why.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:32, Reply)
He was checking your prostate

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:33, Reply)
I'm not as old as Monty

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:35, Reply)

checking your prostate not a real doctor
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:36, Reply)
Magic Mushrooms I imagine made the experience pretty terrifying

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Fuck no.
Them and all the gas I nicked were the best bits by far.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
I rarely cry, I find that any film I've cried at the first time I've watched it, I never get particularly affected anymore
At the same time, it's quite clear I'm not a tough guy, although I do deal with pain rather well.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:16, Reply)
i cry quite a lot, i got a fucking annoying thing where my eyes water when i gi from a cold to hot space.
Or sometimes I start crying with absolute no emotion or negative thoughts.

Last time I sad-cried was a few drops when watching the pilot to this new show in the states called Awake.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)
I don't mind a good squinny.
Mr Bojangles at the end of the The Green Mile sets me off.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)
dems only hurts the ones dey love, boss.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:22, Reply)
+ laughing like a drain

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:26, Reply)
You'll cry at anything.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:26, Reply)
SHANE'LL FIX IT FOR YOOOOOUUU

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:27, Reply)
The "I's afraid of the dark" bit set me off first time I saw it

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:28, Reply)
I hate medical comedy shows.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Paedophilia; better with tears

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I thought Phil Daniels was shite in it

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:27, Reply)
Photocopier/arse

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Franking machine

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)
so it is.
I've not watched it for yonks.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:33, Reply)
He says photocopier too I think

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:35, Reply)
when you said franking machine
I wondered if they even had photocopiers in the 60s. Weren't they called Xerox's for a bit, too?
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
and something stat?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:39, Reply)
We have academics who still say photostat!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:39, Reply)
In the same way that we call vacuums 'Hoovers', yes.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
or is this another blood fetish?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Philodelphia; better with AIDS

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)
or crackers

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)
NOT IN A THAI CURRY THOUGH

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:33, Reply)
That advert is fucking ridiculous

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
you know what advert i hate?
there's a car called the Yes out.

the advert is '1980 - big hair, 1985 - big phone, 1990 - big shoulders, 1995 - big boombox'

EXCEPT ITS CLEARLY NOT 1995 IN THE VIDEO THEY SHOW, ITS LIKE 1982 THE CUNTS
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I had exactly the same reaction except I went for '84

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)
its deliberate, their trying to infuriate us

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:03, Reply)
You two are so alike
You're like brothers, or something.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:04, Reply)
yes, of course

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)
Brace yourselves for a bit of a shock, OT
but I'm a massive soft shite and will well up at anything from the last scene of Rocky to the sight of an old couple holding hands in the street. I too am especially prone to this nonsense after a night of disco biscuits.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)
I don't cry a lot.
I've had a couple of tearful panics while relocating to ANOTHER COUNTRY, but largely I cry more at songs and films. In fact when it comes to music/Pet Rescue/paintings, I'm like Tiny Tears.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:33, Reply)
Aren't you worried about being cut off behind enemy lines
during the impending war of independence?
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:35, Reply)
I'll be on the right side
and better placed to smuggle my scouse brethren into the Scottish Republic.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:36, Reply)
I can't wait for Prima Nocta to be reinstated

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Roots will be OK.
We will give them independence and then take the country back by force.

They'll be paying prescription charges before they can wipe the porridge from their faces.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Noooooo, not prescription charges!!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I think "laughably brief stramash" might be a better term than "war"

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
do yuo speak the native language?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)
Nope.
But we say 'aye' a lot where I'm from too. It's a start.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
do yuo?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
I think I'm well enough for a lunchtime pint.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Move yourself. See you in the Cheese.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Steady on, old bean.
I'm still in what my brother refers to as 'the wanking jacket'.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Text me when you are moving.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:43, Reply)
His right arm is moving now

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)
I'll be about an hour if that's OK

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)
No problemmoeroonie.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Or as you call it, "any jacket"

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)
His best jacket.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)
I never mix up my wanking jacket with my 'pee coat'
lololololol
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
hahahahaha.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
The last person I heard use that expression was Kanye West
Very unfair comparison. One's a ludicrously arrogant wankstain with a horribly inflated sense of his own worth, and the other's etc
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
What, 'pea coat' or 'wanking jacket'?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
The former
Although I can't tell you where I heard it, as it might suggest that I listen to shite music
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
It's a specific type of coat, favoured by the US navy back in the day.
I have a vintage one, acksherlly.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
Get you
I don't know whether to be more impressed at your taste or the fact that it remains unhawked
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
I'm ok for assets. So far.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:01, Reply)
Gaylord
t
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:06, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
;-)

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
You've taken Q-Dogg off ignore then

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)
If you can't beat 'em.
We signed the Treaty of Salsiccia. I swapped a rigatoni recipe for peace in our time.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
twat
(lol)
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Well, I don't know what that means
So I shall simply assume you're bumming him, and will compose a childish rhyme about trees to fit the occasion.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
A reasoned approach without flaw.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
I cried at the birth of my first kid
but that was after 24 hours without sleep and it was a fucking terrifying experience involving an ambulance dash to hospital with me convinced either my wife or child would not survive*
When the second one was born it was much quicker and was all over by dinner time, without much fuss.


*They were of course both fine.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:38, Reply)
That's do to the ruined fanny the first one left behind

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Partly that
and partly a combination of hormones to induce delivery and pethidine to shut her the fuck up.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)
MD answer
I have on many occasions cried uncontrollably with laughter under the influence of hallucinogens.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Oh, yes.
This is my partucular field of expertise. 7 hours of uncontrollable laughter, lifts the soul. Until the day after next.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:44, Reply)
I've woken up with an aching face from laughing, after nights on LSD.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)
I've done LSD precisely once, which is once more than I laughed.
Quite possibly the worst night of my life.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:46, Reply)
Weak minded.
I bet you fall for the Jedi mind trick?
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Do I fuck
Move along
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
You should always get straight back on a horse after falling off.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Unless the horse collapsed on you causing you permanent damage.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Melanie Reid lols

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
*googles*
*also lols*
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)
Unless you end up paralysed.
In which case, you should immediately fall off another horse in case it works like the bump on head/amnesia scenario.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:56, Reply)
I recently told my friend I hope he falls off his high horse, which breaks a leg, and has to be shot.
Both he and I were confused as to where that came from...
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:02, Reply)
Set and setting truly are essential considerations, old Leary was right.
We have had this conversation before.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)
So what you're saying is that you 'had a bummer'?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Very good
Yes, we have discussed this before, and yes, I was a young fool.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Having your drink spiked round at Uncle Monty's probably wasn't the right setting for you

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I used to love getting spiked.
Free trips, innit?
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
You might not believe this
but that probably would have been better than the actual one.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I guarantee it.
I am a superb companion on such adventures, apparently.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:00, Reply)
You fucking well should be after all that practice
A principle that worked very well for Signor Schettino
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)
So it's decided then
You can be reintroduced to LSD round at Monty's flat, date tbc.
We can film it and post the results on hear for everyone's amusement.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:08, Reply)
Hear here!

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)
I'm so ashamed
In my defence, I am horrendously tired.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Yeah OK
On the same premise - me being reintroduced to something I have no interest in because I should enjoy it more in the company of an expert - I'll see you for a good rogering, my place, 9pm
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:16, Reply)
It can be a vicious circle
Where the fact that your laughter is causing your jaw to ache only serves to make you laugh more.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
Shocking abuse of your position
No wonder the NHS needs reforming
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:45, Reply)

NH S
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I'm annoyed that this is the only response to be honest
I thought that was quite good. For me.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
It was indeed.
For you.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:51, Reply)
The only thing lower than my standards is my browline

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Hahaha
browline immune system
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:59, Reply)
I'm just annoyed that I now have the theme music to Doogie Howser MD stuck in my head.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:57, Reply)
Neither
I am a WHALE.
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:49, Reply)
We all are, this is the internet.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:52, Reply)
Your name is Eric AICMFP.

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Does he live on the 2nd floor?

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:26, Reply)
Righty-ho, I'm off down the Cheese. see ya later

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:25, Reply)
*boozylols*

(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:29, Reply)

2TUFFINNIT

Has been known to cry at the lion king when I was a gimp
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 12:27, Reply)
This would make Nakers cry:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1547524
(, Fri 2 Mar 2012, 14:00, Reply)

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