Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
NEW THREADNot related to news at all.
How fucking nice is it? Just went for a wander round in the sun 'cos I can. Thank you to all the ladies wearing fuck all in town!
Best/worst sights of today?
Alt:
Something about food
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:48,
164 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Best sight so far today is of my new iPad3 which arrived this morning.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:49,
Reply)
Did you get the iDobber attachment?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
Nah. Can simply lick the screen. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
Best sight:Many students in tiny skirts and tiny tops
Worst:
Being stuck on the escalator behind some fat biffa wearing black leggings stretched so tight I could see her pink thong. *bokes*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:49,
Reply)
It's the shit one by Great North Road though. Was gonna go Exhibition but that one's not behind my gaff.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:55, Reply)
mehIt's still outside in the sun
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
Yeah thanks, I'll be stuck inside all day, you insensitive bastard.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:52,
Reply)
I'm going to leave soon, i bored of not working at work(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
I wouldn't fucking know, I barely had a lunch today.Just heated up my food, got called back in, sorted that, ate, got called back in again, now I'm back at work. I had about a 10 minute lunch today.
Best - The text I just received saying 'Beer garden after work?'
Worst - The last two words in the very same text.
Alt: No thanks, just eaten.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
OMG waht happened to the card printing?What disaster befell your company and it's loyal workforce?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
Mistake from the customer, very minor, but needed sorting(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
it's the way we like it up here.if it's sunny, moan about it being too warm.
if it rains, moan about it never being sunny.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
Shitting in the woodsDirty cunts
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
how dare you sir!I may be he hairy but I am most certainly not a gay!
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
Nice drive to work with all the windows downthus giving a Barry-style entertainment session to neighbouring drivers as I also had music on. Also have a really nice sandwich.
AND I finally found the charger for my camera.
So far it's a good day. I'm feeling pretty chipper. Can't wait to see how long it takes work to grind my mood into dust and misery.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
My AK is still safely stowed too(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
"To: Full DistributionFrom: IT Alerts
Dear Colleagues,
I will shortly be walking around the office with a variety of illegal automatic weaponry. If being viciously killed isn't on your To Do list today, perhaps now might be a good time to vacate the premises.
Regards,
IT."
So far, this email remains in Drafts.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
i don't think its right to ogle ladies on the street though, have some respect(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Where would you do it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
If they didn't want people to lookthey should put it away
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
i disagree, women can wear whatever they want and shouldn't have to worry about whether some perverted person is going to rape them with their eyesif I was wearing aprticularly short shorts, or trousers which displayed a little too much of my bottom and i started to get attention from undesirable types i would feel dirty
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Not as dirty as we wouldI am simply appreciating the female form
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
I can also do a number on imaginary murder(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
Town was disappointingly low on scantily -clad hotties at lunchtimeThe weather, whilst glorious, has increased footfall which means more mongs in my fucking way.
I did, however, see a one-armed MJ impersonator dancing for coins outside Jarrolds. No word of a lie. He was really fucking good as well. I lobbed a quid into his hat, and as the song ended I stuck out my right hand to shake his.
Now which arm do you think he was missing?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I am in UxbridgeSo scantily clad, yes. Hotties, no. No, no, no, no.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
Yeah, I think we may have something in common hereI mean besides being ridiculously handsome and effortlessly suave.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:11, Reply)
I didn't know Kroney was gay(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
are you both dozer sock puppets?or does he just stick his good looking hands up your arses for fun?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
I have it on good authority that I'm better-looking than DozerWhich makes me wonder just how minging he must be
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:21, Reply)
I liked it when Al posted pictures of you with a blue rinse and you got all upset(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Haha, I am sure PD thinks he's better looking than both of us.(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I had a look at the music profile thing he keeps banging on about.He's certainly confident.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
I find overconfidence to be an enormously unattractive traitYes, yes, I know, jealousy, overcompensating, gay crush, whatevs
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)
I'm not passing judgement.Just saying that I've seen his photo and that he's confident.
You coming to the Bristol bash, by the way?
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
Sadly notI was being optimistic when I said I could come, it was always dependent on the missus being up for a trip to Bristol to visit her sister.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)
Not allowed to spend a night away from home, eh?My ex was a bit like that.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Haha it's more the 240-mile tripbut possibly not, given that I'd be off to meet internet randoms!
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:52, Reply)
My mouseover isn't working today, you'll have to spell this out to me, ok(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
DARTH, I'VE FOUND A JOB FOR YOUwww.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17474967
Alt: I like cheese.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:13, Reply)
I am both offended and forced to admit that I would be really fucking good at that
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:17, Reply)
You may as well go to Turkey and put cards in phone boxes"Want to get out of the big, frightening army? Give me a call, I'll (pink) slip you in, they'll pink slip you straight out again!"
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
dunnoi'm stuck here and chained to my computer :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
Best sighttoday was my dinner.A large cheeseburger, and a Toffee Crisp flavoured Magic Milk Shake. I'm on a health buzz, as you can tell.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:20, Reply)
I used to suffer from vegetarianism yes.But am now cured. Are you going to the Frankfest this Saturday, in Mnachester?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I am not, as I only discovered it's existence today(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
Well done you,welcome to the fucking obviously correct side of things.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Man, I want that for dinner(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
OMG I just agreed to move officesfrom next week I will have a window! A fucking window! I will know what the weather is like without having to open a door and walk down a corridor!
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
I guess weather conditions are critically important when it comes to digging holes. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
i can't beleive you keep picking fights with peopoe battered, its completely out of order(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Not picking a fight with anyone.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
oh so now you're calling me a liar?i wish you would just die battered
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Not going to give you that pleasure. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
Outside, now.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
Nah, I think I'd rather go for a pint actually.It's too hot for a scrap.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
I am relieved to be back home and wearing a t-shirtafter being stuffed inside a suit for most of the morning / early afternoon.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Was this your Sunderland interview?How did it go? You find it OK?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
Nah, that's tomorrow at 4.This was on Benton Park road. Seemed to go well, but I'm not going to hedge my bets. I won't know anything until next week anyway.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
No, a housing group.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
sometimes that's depressinglike today, when it's sunny as fuck, and all our junior solicitors are on a "team bonding" treasure hunt.
leaving us poor senior cunts to do all the work :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:49,
Reply)
i can't think of a reply to thisgiven the depressing accuracy of the statement
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
All the eggs will melt in this heatleaving them disappointed and ineffably sad. Plus they'll probably get back to the office all sweaty and shit.
(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
Senior cunt? Sounds like a granny's aged puss-filled vag that's got really long curtains. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
This is a fairly low-key best sight of todaybut when I got in to work this morning there was a kinder surprise on my desk and it had a very very tiny spirograph in it.
Worst sight of today is the clock refusing to tell me it is hometime. Mind you I'm just about to have my lunch in the garden (red pepper, tomato and pesto soup, for those of you that are interested in such things)
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Oh man, what loldrama now?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
TB has a few old-fashioned opinions on Sambo and his nig-nog buddies.(
Kroney, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
There is no loldramahe just has some 'interesting' views. To which he is entitled but with which I completely disagree.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I'm up to speed now.A former family member posted a link to the National Front on FB a short while back. I couldn't not call him up about it, and got a standard "Some of my best friends are coloured, blah blah immigrants blah blah our (spelled 'are') jobs blah blah proud Englishman" response.
He's a soldier. God help the Afghanis.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Yeah, but he's still a hero, so that's ten times the man you'll ever be(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
its more likely that he's one of the ones that didn't get a decent education and was raised by people with similar viewsjoining the army was probably his only choice, and to him anyone who isn't british/european/american is the "enemy"
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:07, Reply)
Sad thing is I've known him since he was about five.I'm not aware of his parents holding views like that, so I can only assume he's picked them up from the Army and / or tabloid journalism.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
Not to my knowledge he isn't.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
I thought soldiers weren't allowed to express particularly right wing views?(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
Not aware of this but you could be right.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Yes, it would be lovely if we could all be "proud Englishmen" rather than constantly apologising for our country's shortcomingsIt's unfortunate that the entry requirements include "being as thick as two short planks" and "being aggressively fearful of change and anything which even smells slightly foreign."
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)
I find it wonderfully ironicThat they can remember an accepted anglicised spelling of an Arabic word, but have such trouble with their own language.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:11, Reply)
'Fuck' is Arabic in origin?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
It appears that, despite being a grown up now, I still enjoy looking up rude wordsoxforddictionaries.com/definition/fuck?q=fuck
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
With my insider knowledge of dyslexia, I think the 'are' bit is a genuinely dyslexic statement, except the word 'sport' instead of 'support'.Don't get me wrong, they're horrific human beings, but I find it interesting that they used 'are' instead of 'our'. The words sound very similar, probably almost indisguingashable in their accent, so I accept 'are' as a mistake rather than lazy or stupidity. But the word 'Sport' instead of 'Support' is lazy as the words are completely different, however, the abreviated word "S'port" I would accept.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
Nah, I think in this instance they're just thick.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
Or both =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
he bought her a kinder egg and left it on her desk, his racism is now excuseable(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:52, Reply)
It was a white chocolate one though(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
I'm out of surgry now, I've had my operation. Now the anesthetic is wearing off, it stings a bit, but its a nice kind of sting, not unpleasent at the moment. I now need one of those cone things dogs have to stop me from touching it.
I made the doctor laugh, as it's the doctor who gives me my weekly real painkillers, so I said "I suppose it's a bit moot asking for some codine when yesterday I got morphine and methadone".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
I'm getting a vasectomy which is fucking pointless as oven glove can't get pregnant.Has anyone here had one?
(
Peej, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Yes, quite a fewMight need another one soon, the current one's all burnt and singed.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:12, Reply)
no more little She-ra's or Optimus Prime's eh?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
i don't know why you'd admit to being only half a real man on the internet(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Oh Quenders, even though I've been shooting blanks for 10 yearsI've still fathered more children than you'll manage with your limp little chipolata.
Being a massive bender probably doesn't help you either, mind you.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:52, Reply)
hey what? are you being mean to me to try and make yourself feel like more of a man?thats terible, but i forgive you sex pest
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:54, Reply)
i'd rather have a fully functional penis and no kids if its all the same to you(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:15, Reply)
what have you got against gays fister?is it because you feel like half a man you pick on people over their sexuality?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I have no problems with your rampant homosexuality Qjust don't try ramming it down our throats, that's all I ask.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:31, Reply)
you brought it up and now you're taking about ramming things down throats?is this what cost you your marriage fister? did becoming half a man make you a homosexual?
I have nothing against it if you do fister, but you're not my type, soz
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Sick burn, Fisters somehow managed to spawn fuck trophys with some fat biffer who he now gets to see every second Saturday and sometimes a Sunday too!Still they're worth every last penny for the CSA eh.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
Oh dear Rory, how clueless you are.I will assume that you have performance issues as well then.
However, their mother is in fact - these days at least - a fat biffer, so well done. Have a biscuit.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Having left you and taken the kids and kept the dullard 60's terrace, whereas now you have a rented one bed flat and cry into your cold tin of beans every night(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
This is really good stuff Rory, but completely wrong.One can only assume that this is your experience of a failed marriage.
There, there old chap. Chin up.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)
good newsI am now home and sitting in the sun in my shorts drinking beer
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
Still working innit, so thought I'd check inthis place is shit without me
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »