Forget football
two guys are having a meeting next to my desk and one of them just said "I've been trying to solutionise this..."

I think you mean SOLVE you cockend. How should he be punished?

Alt: What business-speak / grammar fail gets your goat?

AltAlt: I'm actually really interested in what you're having for lunch, honest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:46, 191 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

SANDWICH!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)

altalt
we have a stunning roof terrace here, so we are all heading up there for lunch in about 3 mins. hoorah!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)

I have a HAM SALAD with olives, lettuce, mayo all that shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:49, Reply)

sweetcorn, beetroot, tomato, yellow peppers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)

DRESSING?!??!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Just mayonnaise.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)

carrot

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)

shredded white cabbage

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)

FAIL

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)

I don't actually like salad dressings.
As I've grown older, vinegar repulses me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

but vinegar on chips is delightful.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 12:56, Reply)

He's an idiot.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I agree on this point.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 12:58, Reply)

I don't really like chips either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Mine had
sweet chili hummous, mature cheddar, cucumber, lettuce, smoked ham, spinach, salami, branston pickle.

I tried to work out how much cheaper my homemade sandwich was than one from Boots but gave up as it was depressing. Then I factored in the cost of my time and felt better about it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

He should be tied to a chair and slowly beaten to death
with a hardback copy of the OED.
(berk, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)

I like this idea.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

My LunchAlt brings all the fatties to the thread

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Alt alt: beer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Many irk me, but "Blue Sky Thinking" really irks me.
The best I have ever heard was "Let's shove this up the duck and see how it quacks." I'm not sure what it meant, but I liked the creativity of it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

That's very Swiss Tony.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)

They were talking about your hot wife at the time.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)

Hey DiT! Hey! Over here DiT! Over Here!
Are we going to watch the terrible David Haye vs Derek Chisora fight round at your house in July?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:58, Reply)

Fuck no.
Everything about that fight is horrible. The only decent outcome is that they both spontaneously combust and burn to death.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)

You and your wife should come to my house for dinner some time, though.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:01, Reply)

That's an excellent suggestion.
I will take you up

...


...

on that offer.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:03, Reply)

Do you want to get beer this evening?
Maybe something to eat, a few candles and then...

NO! It's not a girl, it's al, it's not a girl, it's al.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)

I would, really I would, only I'm meeting tangles for a pint and some live music.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Well FUCK YOU then.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)

DiT, if I was in That London I'd join you for a beer.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:19, Reply)

You filthy tart.
Stop trying to steal him away from me. I have enough trouble with his wife.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Thank you.
See, Al, THAT'S what nice people are like!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

I just want a social life, is that too much to ask?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Seeing as you live in 'Yabby Creek', I'm afraid it is.


Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Don't make me do a sad Monty.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I can't make you do anything, Poppet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

+ I'm too poor

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)

I made her cry once.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)

YESSSSSSSSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

You're such an awful person, taking enjoyment out of my PAIN and MISERY.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

You should get your own back on him by making some friends
then you could rub it in his face.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Making some money would be a more cutting punishment.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Take yourself down to the Union Bar and get one!
You say "Hi Bruce."
They will say "Hi Sheila!"
Then you will all drink beers and talk about Koalas.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

We don't have a union bar.
There are union clubs, but no union bars. And I don't like clubs.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Wear a sandwich board saying "fwiends needed :D"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Then they'll hop into a 'Ute' and go to the beach
(or to murder English hikers on the motorway)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

Alt:
Using fail as a suffix.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)

*deletes account and kills self*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)

'fail' fail.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)

dot org

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 25 May 2012, 12:58, Reply)

Defenestration sounds like an appropriate and mild punishment
sorry I meant a solutionised approach to making savings for the firm.

Alt Alt: Chicken.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:09, Reply)

Hi Amberl
How are you?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Not bad thanks, yourself?
I've been in Ireland looking after siblings while mother gallivanted off.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Shocking behaviour
was she doing the wild thing with strangers in alleys?

I'm pretty good thanks, looking forward to Donnington, shame you can't make it. Have you got a job yet?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Off to a wedding in Poland
so I assume and hope not. Yeah it's a shame about Donnington wish I could make it. I don't have a job :( but my brother phoned up yesterday boasting about having two the bastard.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Amberl. How's tricks?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Alright thanks
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Yeah haven't seen your lovely face in far too long!
I'm alright.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Glad to hear it!
Been up to anything fun?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:40, Reply)

hah. Fun? no.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Yo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Whassup bruv?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I heard 'Operationalise' only yesterday

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)

I was asked to 'action' something this very morning.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I like 'Incentivise'

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

urgh, that makes me shudder.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:19, Reply)

It's not office jargon, but when my boss's wife asks if he's going to 'come with' I want to cry.
Can you really not spare the time to say 'me' at the end of that?

You 'mutton' WHORE?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

I get a proper knickers in a twist
about diarise, really fucking pisses me off.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

I wouldn't watch that Indiana Jones film with Sean Connery in it, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:19, Reply)

^ I'm certain this is the best post I've ever made.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

Have a sympathy laugh

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Ha ha ha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I can smell your jealousy from here.

At least I hope that's what that smell is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

Stare at him for 5 seconds then say "heh"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

The popular page is broken again.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Steak sandwich with chips and a pint of Doom Bar
I love the pub on a sunny day, but it's bloody blustery.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Awesome alliteration, anus-breath!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

breath assaulter
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

We'll call this one a collaborative effort.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:27, Reply)

Your mum loves a rim job, who am I to deny her?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Errr, a man?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:37, Reply)

The feeling of my stubble on her butt cheeks reminds her of her 'partner'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:39, Reply)

Has your mum got one arm?
Is jade goody your sister?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:41, Reply)

No, and no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)

The grammar of raising the last sylabble up slightly, as if it's a semi-question.
Or Australian, very annoying. It's pretentious, annoying and not very clever.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

That is called 'AQI'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)

I stuck AQI into Google, and got this...sounds about right.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Qaeda_in_Iraq

Always wondered whom was behind bad soap operas.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Australian Quizzical Intonation, bruv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)

Also known as BAFRWCSC

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Did you just throw up mid-post?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)

Bloody annoying fucking retards who cant speak correctly

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)

We don't do it on purpose you know.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I have to say I find the slightly more parochial Australian accent intensely irritating.
A lot of you sound lovely, but it's the ones with the nasal twang who sound permanently surprised at everything that comes out of their mouths that really grates on my ears.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)

I fully admit that I occasionally do it, but it's usually only when I'm thinking.
And I don't, to my knowledge, have a nasal twang. That's a Queenslander specialty.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)

I have heard many a New South Walesian speaking like that.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Isnt it something to do with
The younger generations having a poor education and therefore not having the confidence to make a statement and therefore going up at the end of the sentence means that they dont have to stand by the statement.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Eh?
I think it's just to do with where you're from. School is compulsory until you're 16 - and from then until you're 18 you either have to be at TAFE (technical college), in an apprenticeship or at highschool. S'nothing to do with your education.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)

I was being disparaging about the YOUTH of today
but it was a theory that someone came up with, by poor education I dont think they were refering to the actual qualifications but that schooling now is often about passing the exam as opposed to a wider preperation to adult life.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

Well them too.
And the South Australians. And the Western Australians. Seems to be only Victorians and Tasmainians and ACT'ans who don't generally have the twang.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)

The ACT'ans are too busy watching porn and visiting sex shops to question anything.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)

or to say anything.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)

I read that as
'We don't do it on purpose? You know?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)

I left the question marks out deliberately.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)

I've just had the most dissapointing orange ever.
It was all dry and rubbish. Like DiT's mum.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Like satsumas in January.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

I think the smartie machine provides more now it's nearly empty than it used to when it was full.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

MADNESS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:39, Reply)

also, is smartie really the singular for smarties?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:41, Reply)

    
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:50, Reply)

isn't it smarty? like a smartypants?
doesn't make sense to me as 1 smartie, many smarties
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)

      
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

:(
you've stolen all my smiles
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)

Is prebriefing a realy word?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:57, Reply)

preb - an element-binding protein
riefing - a sailing manouever

yeah, i guess so
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Oh shit
I've been using it in completely the wrong context.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)

you
IDIOT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)

  
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Surely solutionise means
make into a solution, a solution being a liquid with something dissolved in it, so clearly he was off for a wank?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 25 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)

My company has 'behaviour ambassadors' and 'value champions' and other such life-draining pish
Anyone using these kind of expressions in anything other than an ironic manner near me or my colleagues receives withering stares and raised digits in return.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

staked out over a patch of bamboo.

alt: yesterday, someone, with a straight face, suggested we have a 'washup' with the 'stakeholders' to avoid the document disappearing into the 'ADMINISPHERE'

if i'd had my fucking honda accord, i tell you, it would have been a fucking bloodbath. organs all over the shop. wave after wave of massive-drugs-crazed supermodels minced like sausagemeat. nothing left. total, all-out destruction of the species from the ground up.

altalt: fucked the gym and my usual protein turdshake off so i could work through lunch and sod off early. ate a shitwich and some fruit from tescos. probably for the best. protein shakes give you a secondary workout when they leave the system, i've been dropping bricks all week.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)

tracey was just saying she wears a kids size chelsea shirt for 11 year olds
and everyone was amazed that it would fit her and i said that its probably because kids are so fat these days
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:16, Reply)

Is Tracey malformed in some way?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:18, Reply)

no she's just quite small

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)

No, it's because the kids are really near, the shirts just appear large.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:18, Reply)

As long as no ukeleles were harmed, I'm ok

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:19, Reply)

and NOW it makes sense

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)

You do realise that unless you are a professional athlete a protein shake is about as useful as Monty's drenis?
And even if you are a professional athlete, very few of them actually bother with them, preferring instead to get their protein in the regular way, via food.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:17, Reply)

He might be a professional athlete

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)

That's why I added the second bit.
If you'd read my answer fully you wouldn't have made your stupid comment.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Beer is why I made my stupid comment
I regret nothing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

did you ever answer my question?
what's a drenis?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Yes I did
go and find the answer yourself.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

i had a search and found a message where you asked about his dribbling penis
i think druggled i better
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Oh FFS you witless spastic.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1625266
( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

yeah i went back to poppet's thread and saw that
druggled i better
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Druggled is also a portmaneu.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

whats portmaneu?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

The Prisoner was filmed there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)

oh
what prisoner?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I AM NOT A NUMBER
That one. Big fuck-off beachballs
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Hahahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Start a new thread or something
This one sucks goats off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)

It's like horse manure only burgundy in colour.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:41, Reply)

On the left hand side

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Cheese and colesaw sandwiches and a lie down in the park.
I think I've caught the sun, I feel a little dizzy now.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Cheese and pickle baguette
and three pints of Amstel down the Quayside

Get the fuck in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:17, Reply)

I fucking love it when you've been drinking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)

\o/
So do I

Marvellous down next to the river. Only trouble was, I had to return
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I found booze.
but it's sweet booze and I have nothing to mix it with. And I'm too classy to drink it straight from the bottle.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

What booze is it??

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

I have a choice of either Bailey's or McAlisters Whisky
No ice. No milk. Nothing to mix it with.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Surely someone has ice?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Not in my building.
and I don't really feel like scraping off the build up off the inside of the freezer.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)

FFS
You aren't trying here

Shove the bottle in the freezer for 20 mins
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

got ice cream?
I've got ice cream
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

too poor for icecream.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

coffee?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)

neither me or my housemate drinks coffee, so we don't have it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

got cheese?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

Not since my monthly shower, no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

got crisps?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)

No.
I have bread, two apples, two bananas, and half a dozen muesli bars. and a couple of tins of soup. This has to last until wednesday next week.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

fucking fruit salad baileys
why do i have to think all of this up for you?

chop the fruit, pour on some baileys like it's cream, job's a goodun

you owe me £75 consultation fee
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)

baileys and m uesli might make a nice mix too

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)

Fuck that. I ain't paying you nothin'.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)

i'll come to your house and take your tv if you don't

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)

if you can unbolt it and break the chains holding it to the wall, you're welcome to it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)

i'll take your scooter too

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:38, Reply)

I don't have one of them.
I have a beat up old car instead.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:39, Reply)

thanks, i'll have that to cover some of the flight costs and admin charges

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Good plan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Man up poppet.
Get hammered and entertain us with drunken posting while we're all at work.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)

DOWN IN ONE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Nah I'll have to get drunk some other time.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)

You've let offtopic down.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)

*shakes head*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)

I'm sure you'll survive without my drunken antics.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 25 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)

Put it in a glass first then.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

GAY

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Drop a UPS on him from 6'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)

if mongs are called Downs
how come geniuses aren't called Ups?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)

This is a good question Q

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

this isn't a good answer, s

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

That it is not

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

because
Ups is a delivery firm?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:35, Reply)

you've clearly got downs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)

you are like a siamese twin
whose brother got the brains and the looks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Altalt:Turkey salad sandwich, an orange and some grapes.
Followed by a Calipo.

Alt: "I'll ask the question" rather than "I'll ask our supplier if he can do that" (or similar) irritates me. I think it's because an old boss used it constantly and she was a prune-faced harridan who stank like a manky fag-end stubbed out in a pile of woe.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Excellent description

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)