It's our second wedding anniversary next month, which is apparently "cotton"
What wouldbe an original cotton based gift? Mum/pony/bent spastic jokes will go unappreciated.

Alt: do you follow traditions, such as the anniversary one?

alt: What's the best type of curry?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:26, 197 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A black person

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:26, Reply)

where could i pick one up?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

kfc

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:29, Reply)

bit too expensive for me
I'll try Chicken Cottage
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

you really know how to impress a girl

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:31, Reply)

I've heard she'll never "go back" afterwards

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

a fern

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Too irritating

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

Alt do i fuck as like
alt dunno, madras?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

what meat?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

chiken, i find beef too stringy for curry

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

you don't get many beef curries I find, I suppose the cow is sacred and all that shit
lamb is excellent in curries
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:29, Reply)

i'm not a fan of lamb

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

I like Lamb Tikka in my curries.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:33, Reply)

get her a natty neckerchief

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:32, Reply)

Good bed linnen
which can cost a fortune. It's a bit homely though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

homely GAY!!!!!!!!!!
( Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Indubitably.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:42, Reply)

the ex allowed a previous girlfriend to choose his bedding
with his credit card.

she managed to spunk £800 on it. at john lewis. how fucking ridiculous. if you're going to spend £800, don't go high street.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:44, Reply)

...and then he allowed 800 men to spunk on it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:18, Reply)

get her a bag
to put over your head during coitus :D cotton for breathability.

alt: we go to santacon whcih is our anniversary as we recall it. never mind that the day varies. if that's tradition, then yes. (before you ask it's a mutual decision, she's as excited about it as i am)

alt alt: being a massive shirter, and stricken with an effeminacy that makes my gizzard do angry shouty backflips when faced with too much chilli, i favour milder curries.
it's a tossup for me between a decent red goanese chicken curry (spicy tomatoey and sweet), and something called a Lamb Badam Passanda, i've only seen it on a menu once in a place called sardar palace in reading. it's lamb roasted in the tandoor, in a creamy passanda sauce with lots of toasted flaked almonds, and it's fucking sexual. excuse me while i wipe my desk down..
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

A slave
Alt: None for me to follow, really

Alt Alt: Madras is the one I tend to go for, but I do really enjoy a good Korma, despite it being girly. Always chicken though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)

Wait a cotton pickin' minute...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Dry meat, is a good one.
But I prefer non curry based indian dishes anysort of tandor grilled lamb/beef/chicken is alright in my book. A simple bombay aloo on the side is all the moisture you need.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Tandoori fish is beautiful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Achingly so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:17, Reply)

google dry meat
and the second result is the Tayyabs recipe
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:42, Reply)

Not on my google results, what's the link?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:47, Reply)

ANSWER ME YOU BENT SPASTIC!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:51, Reply)

ITS LIKE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND GOOGLE RESELLING AT ALL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Just seen the above post, i would link it, but not until you apologise

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:55, Reply)

type in tayyabs dry meat

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:59, Reply)

lmgtfy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:01, Reply)

www.food.com/recipe/tayyabs-dry-meat-curry-recipe-466874
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Alt: good homemade curry.
Lamb madras with some red thai curry paste mixed in is my fave at the moment. I make my own pastes and curry powder, which is a pain, but worth it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)

top tip, if you make a whole load of curry paste you can put it in an ice cube tray and freeze it in a bag
that way you can get out however much you need without defrosting the lot.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I keep it in a jar in the fridge with a layer of ghee over the top. Lasts about 4 months.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:43, Reply)

ghee = Indian crack

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:44, Reply)

i love that indian restaurant on baker street that doesn't use butter or ghee
indali lounge, it's called. it was on channel 4 as the healthiest curry in britain.

now i know that's like being the least wormy leper. but still.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:45, Reply)

I don't like curry swimming in ghee but a very small amount is tasty.
A little of what you fancy does you good.

You've got ghee written all over your face.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:49, Reply)

it's like de-ja-premium-vu

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Indian plasterer lols

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Round my way Indian crack= crack

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:23, Reply)

any hole's a goal eh?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:24, Reply)

When I'm 12 Cobras in, they all look gorgeous to me.
Even the blokes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:26, Reply)

tampax
/cotton pony

i know you said it didn't count, but... meh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:41, Reply)

lazy post is lazy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:43, Reply)

post + girl
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:44, Reply)

That's ok, I'm not barry
I can manage going "on top"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:45, Reply)

so long as you know enough to get it in
i'll have had worse
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Zzzzzzzzzzzinnnnnnnnngggggggggg.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:50, Reply)

I also don't shit myself
although you'll have to forgive the weeping
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:51, Reply)

what about fingering? do you play the clitoris like a baby piano
or like the spanish inquisition looking for answers?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:52, Reply)

like Ray mears trying to start a fire with sticks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Like a roofer rummaging in his nail bag.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Like a vet birthing a calf

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:03, Reply)

*rolls up sleeve*
*gives it a good tug*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:05, Reply)

post garlic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:26, Reply)

For the anniversary period.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:13, Reply)

Scream boxset
Alt: I made it through an entiire meeting with my boss with a pint of ale I claimed was a pint of fizzy orange energy supplemnt spiked with ribena. I may try this again next year it that's any help.

alt: Tim *beep beeps*
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:42, Reply)

dopiaza or bhuna

( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Dopiaza is really nice

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:06, Reply)

nice oniony
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:16, Reply)

For starters unless you are one of those colonials
The Second anniversary is Paper... so books etc.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Oh and currywise
I do like a Mutton Madras
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:09, Reply)

i thought paper was the first anniversary?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:17, Reply)

In the UK cotton is first then paper second
In the US its reversed.

I'm waiting until the oral sex anniversary before I bother celebrating
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

If you are one of those pseudo Germans
that live across the Atlantic then you are correct...Otherwise the last time someone was as wrong as you they were standing at Heston Airport in 1938
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I have in my hand a piece of cotton...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

When our first anniversary came around we had a one month old baby
And we were far too fucking knackered to acknowledge the event with cards or presents or whatever. I have successfully managed to maintain this tradition ever since.

Alt: South Indian is best - either Paneer Pepper Fry or Chettinad for me please.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Curry: dry meat as above, second place goes to Lusty's Jamaican mutton curry.
Alt: some but not all, like most people. What a retarded question. I acknowledge Christmas, for example, but don't dance around a maypole on Mayday.

Cotton anniversary: load of old bent shit. Until you've got 10 years under the belt it's not worth marking. However if she's into designer gear why not get her some 'Fruit of the Loom' t shirts? I understand they're all the range down Carnaby Street.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Maybe some 'Spliffy' jeans?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:22, Reply)

blu boltz

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:22, Reply)

I've heard of worse ideas than the tshirt one.
He could get one custom printed, maybe. Perhaps with the legend "My husband is a bent spastic"
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:23, Reply)

She's already got one of those.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:25, Reply)

No, you're thinking of her tattoo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:25, Reply)

No need.
'I'm with stupid' t shirts have been available since the 70s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:25, Reply)

"I'm only with him because of this fucking kid"
on the reverse "... and it's not even his lol"
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:26, Reply)

+ 'the stupid cunt hasn't noticed that neither he nor I is black'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

she's a keeper alright

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Thanks for teh endorsement "Agnostic Antichrist"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:28, Reply)

No problem "Bobby".

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:33, Reply)

oh FUCK YOU

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

I'm a terrible meanie
and I apologise without reservation.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

accepted, just and with a female level of resentment

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Well we will have been together 10 years in october, so in your leporous face boyce

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Married for ten?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

no, together

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Then it doesn't count.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:30, Reply)

^ Slightly politer version than my reply

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

"slightly"
*raises eyebrow*
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:33, Reply)

You out on Saturday, you French arsehole?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I doubt it
Wednesday night is probably going to claim most of my money. I'm going drinking in an underground toilet. I may have mentioned this already today.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Deliberatly repeating a vague event you're going to, won't make anyone care.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

Pot, kettle, travelodge.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Yeah, no one liked talking about that.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)

clikin dis

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Ginglik, that's the one in shepherds bush in case you even cared

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:50, Reply)

That's the fucker, thanks Rory.
Not going anywhere that encourages licking gingers, though.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I have chums who do banging techno nights with dirty phat beatz there
i never go
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Then in my face fucking what?
That counts for shit all. You cannot have a wedding anniversary until you've got married, you dozy twat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:31, Reply)

just sayin
as one of the few people here who has managed to maintain a happy and stable relationship for a long period of time, i think I have a right to comment.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:42, Reply)

In that case
may I refer the spasticated gentleman to my answer below, about how me and mr b3th have been shacked up for twelve years.
In *your* face, or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Took you 8 years of begging to get her to marry you though,.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

*something about a big enough ring*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:51, Reply)

6 1/2 actually

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Alt: The one I made on Saturday evening
King Prawn Naga. It was magnificent, as was my toilet the next morning
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:28, Reply)

Did you leave yoursef a little boy present in there for some morning "bum fun"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:29, Reply)

when are you and psychochomp double dating?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I'll be going to the Library in Norwich for Sunday lunch in the next couple of weeks.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I SURE HOPE HE'S READING THIS
it'd be hilarious, he'd totally be hitting on mrs psychochomp whilst his girlfriend sat there in embarrassed silence, dying inside once more
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:45, Reply)

I expect him to skip to the bathroom and back during the meal.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

mrs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:49, Reply)

The Library is fucking lovely
There's a nice, if slightly poncey, bar called the Birdcage just down the way from there. Can't remember how you feel about football but if you're keen to avoid pubs showing it, that'll do you nicely.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:50, Reply)

Yeah, I went there last Monday after the match
My girlfriend left her wallet there and they were nice enough to keep it behind the bar, not take any money and refuse a reward.
Very hipstery though.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:56, Reply)

And you didn't call
*sad-if-in-no-way-surprised-face*

Yeah it has its downsides but I like the feel of the place. Plus some excellent beers on tap.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Get a canvas printed
Alt:
Chicken Zal Zhul at the moment is my current fave.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:34, Reply)

With a side order of chicken gozer?
/film
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Nnnngh.... must.... resist....
*click*

DAMN YOU BOYCE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Tampon.
Alt: this summer will be our second too, although we've been essentially shacked up for twelve years, so we hardly ever bother.

alt (again): the curry house near us does a nice chicken sagwala. Otherwise, biryani.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:35, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1644581
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

Fuck.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:39, Reply)

This year was my fifth
I would have got her something made of wood but I'm not a bent spastic so I took her out for a meal and bought her some flowers and chocolates and all that equally bent but not so spastic stuff.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:37, Reply)

+without asking a bunch of spanners on the fucking internet for help

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:38, Reply)

to fuck her properly.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:39, Reply)

Hi Monty
I got laid again this weekend, That's two weekends in a row, I think things might be on the mend. Its amazing what paying for a trip to disneyland will do to a womans mood
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

FYI prossie would be cheaper

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

And cleaner too

( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

It's bacause I am performing cunnilingus on her behind your back.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

If you're behind his back
wouldn't that be 'felching'?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Yes, it tastes better than the front.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:59, Reply)

Like an old penny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Good work, young Phil.
Glad to see your new bollocks getting a spin round the old block.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Spinny bollocks.
Sounds fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:43, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

Check out meatspin.com for a taste

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

marriage sounds great
remind to me to do that some time :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I know you are but what am I
second thoughts don't answer that
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

did you get laid as a resul;t?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:39, Reply)

I can't remember.
I know I got laid after the gig I took her too a few days later
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:40, Reply)

All that surreptitious finger banging on the dnace floor really got her in the mood eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:43, Reply)

Gigs don't have dance floors.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:44, Reply)

Dumber than the average bear ones do
Or at least there is a large empty space at the fornt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:47, Reply)

Hahahah
What they have is technically just called a 'floor'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Grrrrr unreleated but pissing me off. I know I was whining about Apple hardware being shit and made to break
Well from now on the new i7 Macbook pros come with 8gb soldered to the board, no expansion slot and optional upgrade on purchase only. What a bunch of evil cunts. RAM Failure - Buy a new one. Need an upgrade - Buy a new one. Up until now you could buy PC ram upgrades and put them in for half the price of the mac labelled ones. Apple are fucking immoral cunts. ARGH! Also, I have no idea why this winds me up so much, perhaps because they are making them harder to fix and that's what I do.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:46, Reply)

i had an apple at lunch

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)

OMG so did I!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:48, Reply)

the apple didn't make my teeth itch
but the banana did

EDIt i meantt ongue, it waws my tongue that itched
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:50, Reply)

you should create an apple banana hybrid
with the taste of a banana and the non-itchyness of an apple, you'll be a millionaire
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

but how do you get an apple and a banana to mate?
drill a hole in the apple and fuck it with a peeled yellow schlong?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

by jingo i think you've got it¬!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Hey Nakers you pussywhipped wanker
Why don't you tell a lie about going to get some nappies or some shit then come out for a couple of beers on Saturday?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:00, Reply)

I'm in Wiltshire with the babba and the rentals, as the wife has girls staying for a hen do in london
Soz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)

thanks for joining in our little sub-thread only to not invite me to some drinks thing all the cool kids are going to
:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)

We couldn't fit all six of you around the table.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:03, Reply)

we could have a seperate table with a big sign up next to it saying 'Ignore'
with a button underneath
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:05, Reply)

You are very welcome to come.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:03, Reply)

too late monty
too late
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Hey, we should do our own think quints.

( Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:05, Reply)

sounds like a plan
do you fancy a couple of swift ones at the churchill arms?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)

is this a suicide post?
Have you taken a load of paracetamols?

Your posts are getting fainter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:05, Reply)

paracetalols, more like

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Pillls, thrills and stomachpumps.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:14, Reply)

I'm not doing anything on saturday, what are you up to?

( Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Boozing with wankers from here, do come along.
As for where, the original idea was that it was going to be a research trip for party venues but that looks like it's bollocksed already so it might just be a trip to the Captain Kidd again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:08, Reply)

You always choose villages that are a pain in the arse to get to.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:11, Reply)

That's because I'm an awkward cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:13, Reply)

its right next to a wapping great tube station you prick

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:16, Reply)

It's on the overground
meaning I'd have to train into paddington, travel the entire H&C line east and then change again.

London's supposed to be easy :(
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:22, Reply)

Where's your sense of adventure, man?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)

its a 15 minute walk from paddington you total gay
EDIt its not really, its significantly further. sorry i was being mean, i hope i didn't upset you
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:24, Reply)

If he wants total gay he needs to get down to VAuxhall

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)

vauxhall Norwich
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:26, Reply)

That really would be a pain in the arse from paddington

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:27, Reply)

nah, the pain in the arse is also from norwich

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:28, Reply)

Haha wapping is not a fifteen minute walk from paddington

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:28, Reply)

surely it makes them EASIER to fix?
as in 'the problem is x, ergo, do not spend an hour removing a million tiny but non-identical screws and prising open hidden clips, simply send back to apple.

ergo you get to spend MORE time online moaning about apple products.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:51, Reply)

If you're the end user
not if you're the guy the end user is sending it to.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:54, Reply)

I never get computers fixed, just buy a new one innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)

You are the demographic Apple aims its products at.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Fine by me
i have absolutely zero interest in how my computer works, I just want it to work.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:02, Reply)

Here we are in complete agreement.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Bent spastics is right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)

I have a "zoostorm" laptop
never heard of them, but it makes the internet work and stores music, photos and films. Job done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I have an 'Acer'. It was 'the cheapest'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:14, Reply)

phil is the 'middle user'
he's the mid-level spanner (or small torx bit) monkey that takes the 'it's broked, help!!' from the undoubtedly bent spacker student, then translates that into 'it's broke because the logic board appears to have blue wkd and chunks of diced carrot fried onto it and the hard drive is crammed with 120gb of sundry dwarf porn' and posts it to apple.
phil is actually moaning because rather than get to dissemble it, tinker with it all morning, and ignore his emails, he'll just have to farm it off to the apple centre, and will be left with time in which THEY might make him do some real work :D
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Plus people who are 'really into Apple products' are epic chutneys.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Until this morning I would have called you a tit but my iPad is playing up today like a shitty toddler,

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)

It's more 'apple wankiness' rather than the products themselves that I have a problem with.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:16, Reply)

The people that queue up or even camp out are pathetic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:19, Reply)

cf those mentally deficient wankstains who do the same for new fucking computer games.
I mean for Christ's sake get a grip, you're embarrassing yourselves. You've just spent two nights on Oxford Street in the pissing rain like a vagrant so you can be the first person to sit in their smelly bedroom pretending to kill aliens or some shit. Fuck off.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:22, Reply)

tannin and alum based mordant
she'll be..ahem...dyeing to get to the next anniversary

my second anniversary was eating chips in morrissons carpark after a concert I was in. Didn't make it to the third.

Dhansak is the best curry. I want one, now, thanks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)

I have nothing at home for supper except some hallumi
I might get some figs and asparagus and have a salad with it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:27, Reply)

tesco tells me I'm having stuffed pepper

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

You don't have to do what Tesco tells you to you know...
Anyway i'm off, laters fuckos
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

no one could blame you if you had a breakdown and took about 160 500mg paracetamol
seriously nobody

add a splash of vodka to that if you want
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:33, Reply)

my puns aren't that bad

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 17:53, Reply)