Where do you fall fatties?
www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/9345086/The-worlds-fattest-countries-how-do-you-compare.html

Only Tonga and Micronesia are fatter than me :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:22, 110 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Between Canada and Ireland, not too bad
At my heaviest, I was heavier than any of them, ugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

It's stupid really, i weigh 83kg, but I'm 6'3" and wear 32" trousers
so I'm not exactly bloated
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I'm just shy of 70kg atm
But that can change far quicker than I like it to.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

By having a good dump?
Morning AA, how's you?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Not too bad thanks Pookie, yourself?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Yeah all good,
how was Pearl Jam last night?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I wasn't actually heading to the gig, just for a pre-gig pint with Sporto
They're not really my sort of music
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Ah, ok.
I liked their stuff with Neil Young.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:46, Reply)

It's the same as the BMI Index.
According to that, someone like Johnny Wilkinson would be an obese net fatty.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

BMI is a shower of arse if you take part in almost any contact sport or are vaguely welll built.
My BMI is 26.6. My body fat percenate varies between 12 and 14%. I think I know which one I'd pay attention to.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:36, Reply)

BMI is a load of rubbish.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:36, Reply)

The best I've seen is just before my brother quit high-level rugby
BMI of 30. Body fat percentage - 5%. Being simultaenously obese and also having a fat level so low that physical health could be adversely affected is rather an achievement, I thought.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:41, Reply)

No, really.
BMI really only works if we are in fact two-dimensional. Comparing height to weight ratios is completely idiotic. Proportion of muscle to fat is a far more effective comparison.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

it gives people a good idea but they shouldn't stick to it religiously
if it's early-mid 20's, don't worry, late 20's, get on a diet, 30+ you're a fat fucker

but other than that, don't over-analyse it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Simply put, if you have a pie addiction, you need to go on a diet.
No need for over complicating things as you say though. Trouble is most people who look normal on the outside are considered overweight by strict BMI comparison.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:50, Reply)

i saw this programme on bbc2 last week
which said that its not your fault yourt fat, so its ok
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

it was this one
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01k0fs0

it was interesting, basically Nixon's agricultural minister industrialised American farming, this lead to excess corn, that corn instead of going to waste was refined to make corn syrup. Corn syrup was then added to other foods to make them sweeter, corn syrup contains fructose, fructose is a type of energy which is not only very fattening but actually seems to suppress your body's 'I'm full' reflex.

the WHO organisation was going to set fructose & sugar limits in food, but the food industry said 'FUCK YOU', so they've settled on trying to promote low fat foods instead.

So your fat because: America
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I saw a bit of this, then got bored

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:04, Reply)

i didn't watch all of it, but it was alright

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:09, Reply)

no it doesn't
because it doesn't make any allowance for build and it doesn't consider muscle levels.

Like Luggage says, it's only useful if you are two-dimensional.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

lots of people are stupid
therefore a basic guideline is no bad thing for them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Agreed on the basic outline.
However, the basic outline in this case is still wrong. It was invented by an obscure Belgian mathematician who knew nothing about human biology. Hence why I think it's a crock.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

depends how you get it measured
if its just some prick with a chart, then yeah its bollocks

if some prick attaches electrodes to your tits and runs a current through you, thats science, mofo
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Apparently America is fatter than me.
Brilliant.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

me too
that's a relief.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:35, Reply)

It's a relief when I undo the button on my trousers at the end of the day.
I really need to shave off this belly. Trouble is, I like booze a little more than is healthy.

Time to start jogging methinks.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Haha. No-one is fatter than me. Score.
Then again, it's mostly not fat, so I think I'll cope.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:29, Reply)

The only thing fatter than me
is Saturn.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

hahaha
Poor Saturn got it's hoola hoop stuck on it's fat belly :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

much better than i thought
lots of countries are fatter than me. BUT having been trying and failing to find a dress that fits around the top and the bottom, i am coming to the depressing conclusion that it's all tits and they have got to go. if i were flat-chested, i'd be way up that scale.

do they really cut your nipples off, though? urrrrgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Try these, they might have something.
www.danco.co.uk/
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

and i thought we were friends :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Of course they do, how on earth else would they do it? Unless you want your nips on the underneath?
Also, there a plenty of places that'll give you dresses that fit round the top and bottom, woman. You're just trying to buy dresses from designers that only cater for the small boy look.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

best of all the looks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

i don't understand why they can't just suck some bits out
like lipo?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

You could always invest in a corset.
I hear they don't use whalebone anymore, so no ethical concerns there, if you care about such things.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Did you know that people used make perfumes out of a substance called Ambergris
which is vomited up by sperm whales? It's terribly expensive
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

Precious... hamburgers?
Yup, sure did. The one and only time I actually learned something from an episode of Futurama.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

You really want to know?
you'll end up with too much skin, so some will have to be removed. I'm assuming you don't want massive scars on the top of your tits, so they'll only cut skin away at the bottom so the scar is hidden underneath. If you take the skin at the bottom away, your nips will move downwards, so unless you want nips actaully underneath they will have to be moved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I say add some extra nipples while you're there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

why the hell not?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

I once knew a girl with a third nipple.
She loved displaying it as disappointingly, it looked like a mole.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

if you twisted it would she "self sauce"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

No idea.
She did decide to have it pierced though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:04, Reply)

this is fucking rank
maybe i'll just go to rigby and peller and get some suck it all in underwear....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

go on....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

.... but if you're going to spend £200 on a bra, you don't want it to be fugly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

A new shop has opened in Kingston called Gilly Hicks
It's related to A&F but is only womens underware and swimware, nice stuff, well priced.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

yes, we act for the whole chain, they have 3 different brands here now
they are fab clients, really nice, and a great business model
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Do they have a decent underwear model too?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:18, Reply)

See above, where I suggested a corset.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:12, Reply)

it doesn't take height into account
you could be one seriously short fat bastard
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

i wish this hadn't made me laugh
i feel dirty when i laugh at your comments, like i just raped a kitten with a hoover or something
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Dirty in a good or bad way?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

i'd rather not know the answer to this question

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:52, Reply)

well, how would you feel if you raped a kitten with a hoover?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Photogenic?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

poor quentin

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Stop picking on Battered

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

i don't know how much i weigh
could somebody help plese?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Do you need an adult?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

don't we all?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:46, Reply)

You're so profound Q

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

yeah
profoundly....
.... insert adjective of choice
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:49, Reply)

SHIT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:50, Reply)

flavoursome

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:50, Reply)

egregious

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

bird-like

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

muddy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Ugh, people are such retards.
In a determined attempt to not fall asleep at my desk, I went to make some coffee. Bunch of lads stood around the sink. I went to wash my mug. They moved to stand around the tea towels. I went to dry my mug. They moved to stand around the kettle.

For FUCK'S sake, where do you think I'm going next you brainless morons?
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Reading?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

That's both ears.

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

The coffee jar.
Please let it be the coffee jar.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:15, Reply)

The spoon drawer.
When I went there, THAT'S when they went to stand in front of the coffee jar.

I swear to God, my life is like The Truman Show. Only in The Kroney Show the aim is apparently to wind me up so much that I have an apoplectic seizure.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:29, Reply)

I get that a lot on the train.
Crowd of people stood in front of the door to the cabin vestibule, and shift to stand in front of the doors to get off the train. Then they have the temerity to look annoyed when you ask them to shift again.

Idiots.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:17, Reply)

It's almost as though the general public
have no fucking clue how to think for themselves. This is why zombies could take over, most people are way too fucking thick to run.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:31, Reply)

You can see it best when crossing the road.
They always wait for someone else to make the first move. It's like wildebeest crossing the Zambezi.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:34, Reply)

I think you are being bullied at work Kroney
They know that IT nerds are far too socially awkward to deal with interacting with other members of staff, so they are deliberately forcing you to acknowledge their existence for shits and giggles.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I'm not exactly backwards in coming forwards, Tangles.
Though I do prefer an extended glare to actually verbalising my displeasure. Seems to do the trick.
( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:02, Reply)

I'm sure that is how it seems in your head
But I imagine the reality is more along the lines of:
*avoids eye-contact*
*avoids eye-contact*
*avoids eye-contact*
*quickly glances up at one of the perpetrators*
*blushes*
*leaves room quickly to barely disguised sniggers from work bullies*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:07, Reply)

I am suave and chicks dig me.
Hope this helps.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:14, Reply)

It really does

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)

it's a terrible burden

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:27, Reply)

Aw man!
The only thing fatter than me is Al.
( Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)

i broke the chart.
i'm a fucking cetacean menace.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

: ((((

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:19, Reply)

I dread to ask where you fall on that scale.
You'll probably hunt me down and eat me.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:20, Reply)

lol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:21, Reply)

: ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I'ma fucking Tongan, have you seen the Tongans?
Also see above as it is nonce sense really.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:22, Reply)

I know.
It's just that I've put the stone I lost on recently and I feel like jabba the hut.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:23, Reply)

I'm off to the gym now if that helps? i'll do some running for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:24, Reply)

I'll be doing my own after work.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:30, Reply)

I've never been to a gym
Does that help?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:52, Reply)

NO!

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:56, Reply)

I went to a gym once.
It was not a pleasant experience. People kept on trying to talk to me about protein shakes. Incredibly boring.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:15, Reply)

My gym is ok. It's in the local sports centre and we get more fatties than muscle men.

( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Also, an unbearable amount of men in lyrca.
Urgh.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:24, Reply)

On the plus side...
You get to have slave girls chained to you. It ain't all bad.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)

I'm SATURN

( Kroney, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:25, Reply)

+ the sofa
/you fat cunt
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:39, Reply)

Lightweights
I am 108kg.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:31, Reply)

I only do imperial weights. soz.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:50, Reply)

*starwarslols*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:54, Reply)

"You're lighter than the average adult in 49 countries"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:51, Reply)

Well, that's depressed me now.
I'm only a bit lighter than the average American.
*looks at lunch*
*throws lunch in bin*


*gets lunch back out of bin*
*eats lunch*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 12:57, Reply)

I'm in the same boat.
I really do have to get over this pie addiction.

Mmmm pie.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:16, Reply)

it's probably sinking then!
lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:17, Reply)

This would only be a problem if...
the next line after that had been
*eats bin*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:33, Reply)

I resisted putting that.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)